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Obama is president, and other jokes for the occasion.

affluenza
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 756
 
Points)
 on 4/1/09 at 3:55pm
dwight.jpg

In honor of today being April Fools Day, I thought perhaps we could share some of our best gags to lighten the mood a bit around here. Yes, the market is starting to look up a bit, but we’re months, if not years, away from a recovery, so instead of beating a dead horse, why not share and maybe crack a smile for a change.

If you are lame enough to pull pranks like cellophane on toilet seats or tying your coworker’s shoelaces together, then don’t bother. But if you had your buddy call your mother earlier to tell her you were in the hospital after having been hit by a cab and should he take you off life support or keep you as a vegetable, spill it. The nastier, the better (and I know you bastards have it in you).

  •  
  • 3
     

Comp Curbs Just for Execs, Right?

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,692
 
Points)
 on 3/31/09 at 10:49am
barneyfrank4.jpg

WRONG.

A measure is working its way through the House, under the radar of course, that would grant the government the right to dictate all employees' compensation at firms receiving TARP money. That's right. Everyone from the CEO down to the janitor. Check it out:

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/Beyond-...

  •  
  • 7
     

Unemployment…..or dream vacation?

affluenza
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 756
 
Points)
 on 3/30/09 at 5:28pm
fatguyonbeach.jpg

Ok, so you couldn’t dodge the pink slip. Now what? Before you fall into a bon bon induced coma on the couch, why not try your hand at winning a dream vacation? What the hell, you’ve got nothing but time these days anyway, right?

Wyndham Worldwide’s Endless Vacation Rentals is gunning for you. They’re giving away a free vacation to the best jobless sob story in 100 words or less. The catch is, it has to be funny. The winner gets a one week vacation rental valued at $2,500 and a $1,500 Visa gift card to spend. Runner up gets a $1,500 trip. Readers vote their favorites and the winners are set to be selected in May.

  •  
  • 6
     

Summer Internship and Training: The Analyst Advantage Program

WallStreetOasis.com
      EN
 
 
(Human, 12,188
 
Points)
 on 3/30/09 at 12:28am

Hey Everyone, I just wanted to give you the heads up about a new program we've launched in partnership with The Analyst Exchange as an option for the summer for those of you still looking for an intership.

The Analyst Advantage Summer Internship and Training Program

Summer 2009: 7/6/09 - 8/21/09

The Analyst Advantage Program couples the Analyst Exchange’s premier financial modeling training program with a world-class internship to best prepare a candidate for a full-time position in finance. What the summer program offers:

  •  
  • 2
     

Obama Fires Wagoner!

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,692
 
Points)
 on 3/29/09 at 6:08pm
gm.jpg

I guess going begging in a corporate jet leaves a lasting impression. General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner was forced to resign by the Obama administration today, as part of the massive amount of strings attached to automaker bailout money.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0309/20625.html

While I think Wagoner's resignation is long overdue, it is a little troubling that it had to come at the behest of the government. This is taking the executive compensation issue to a whole new level.

Does Obama really believe that the U.S. auto industry, with its bloated pension requirements, deeply-entrenched unions, and blatant inability to compete on a global scale is actually worth saving? Can't we just let anything die anymore?

  •  
  • 9
     

$500K Inheritance and Banking

GolferDB
      IB
 
(Chimp, 8
 
Points)
 on 3/29/09 at 1:20pm
$500K Inheritance and Banking

Just found out early this week that I would be receiving just under $500k as an inheritance. I'm doing my summer at a BB but am re-thinking pursuing this career path now. Is this stupid of me to do?

$500,000 is not a ton, but all of a sudden money is not as big of an incentive any more. I kind of would rather help inner-city kids...

  • 77
     

The "Millionaires Tax"

Hephaestus
      O
 
(Baboon, 129
 
Points)
 on 3/29/09 at 10:10am
The "Millionaires Tax"

Here is an article about yet another tax that is likely to have a disproportionate impact on the high-earning financial set, in NY no less:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/29/nyregion/29tax.h...

I wasn't (that) worried by the toxic assets, the massive job losses, etc. I always assumed high finance would recover. However, the continually increasing taxes and regulation (on PE and HFs in particular) might actually be capable of keeping us down for the long-term.

I don't believe the taxes are too unreasonable yet, but I fear we might be giving way to a tyranny of the majority where those on the lower rungs of the payscale use their voting clout to arbitrarily clober those at the top.

  •  
  • 6
     

Stern or Fuqua

lotus6
      O
 
(Senior Baboon, 218
 
Points)
 on 3/29/09 at 9:56am
Stern or Fuqua

Which one is better for a MBA?

  • 15
     

FLOORED: The Movie

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,692
 
Points)
 on 3/28/09 at 9:02am
  • 2
     

Bankers Lynched at G-20 Summit?

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,692
 
Points)
 on 3/27/09 at 12:51pm
Noose.jpg

A London professor has been suspended after suggesting on the BBC that there may be mass lynchings of investment bankers during the G-20 Summit next week.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.3d0f93...

Here is a quote from the learned professor:

Knight said Wednesday that protesters would be "hanging a lot of people like Fred the Shred (disgraced former RBS chief Fred Goodwin) from lampposts on April Fool's Day, and I can only say let's hope they are just effigies."

"To be honest, if he (Goodwin) winds us up any more I'm afraid there will be real bankers hanging from lampposts and let's hope that that doesn't actually have to happen," he told BBC radio.

Nice.

  •  
  • 14
     

AIG Europe Tells Cuomo to Get Bent

Edmundo Braverman
      ST
 
 
(Human, 14,692
 
Points)
 on 3/26/09 at 6:11pm
AIG.jpg

Executives in AIG's European branches who received retention bonuses couldn't care less what the American public thinks about it, and most of them consider demands for repayment to be nothing short of blackmail:

http://www.reuters.com/article/wtUSInvestingNews/i...

The employee at the meeting said Pasciucco recommended that bonus recipients strongly consider returning the money but said any decision to do so was an individual choice. After the meeting, a compliance officer for the Banque AIG unit in London went so far as to ask UK authorities from the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) to probe whether demands to return the payments could be considered extortion, according to emails obtained by Reuters.

  •  
  • 1
     

More bonuses?

affluenza
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 756
 
Points)
 on 3/26/09 at 5:40pm
save the billionares.jpg

I admit I’m pretty tired of hearing about the AIG bonuses, although that’s probably because I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of coming close to a bonus these days. Hell, I’m lucky to still be gainfully employed. But although AIG is hogging the bonus fiasco spotlight, they’re not even close to being the only ones dishing out money they can’t afford to spend.

The New York Times reports at least 19 well known financial firms that are planning on doling out checks and/or stock to keep their bigwigs from jumping ship. And these bonuses, valued around $50.3 million, are scheduled to be paid out over the next couple of years, regardless of the executive’s performance or what condition the company is in financially. Where do I sign up for THAT deal?!?

  •  
  • 1
     

Roubini...Please...Stop Talking

Bleek
      O
 
(Chimp, 11
 
Points)
 on 3/26/09 at 10:42am
Roubini...Please...Stop Talking

"Roubini Says Stocks Will Drop as Banks Go ‘Belly Up’ (Update2)

By Michael Patterson and Maithreyi Seetharaman

March 26 (Bloomberg) -- U.S. stocks will fall and the government will nationalize more banks as the economy contracts through the end of 2009, said Nouriel Roubini, the New York University professor who predicted last year’s economic crisis.

“The stock market is a bit ahead of the real macroeconomic and financial news,” Roubini, a professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business and the chairman of consulting firm Roubini Global Economics, said in an interview with Bloomberg Television in London today. “We’ll have some major banks going belly up that will need to be taken over.” "

  •  
  • 7
     

The end of the WSJ as we know it

Nomade
      IB
 
(Senior Monkey, 79
 
Points)
 on 3/25/09 at 4:23pm
The end of the WSJ as we know it

So it finally happened. Rupert Murdoch is changing the journal.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/23/business/media/2...

So the journal now will focus on things like this:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123800913277240685...

and compete with reuters and blg.

WTF am I supposed to read on the train now?

  • 9
     

Lay me off? I don’t think so.

affluenza
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 756
 
Points)
 on 3/25/09 at 10:18am
hostage-negotiation-3.jpg

Looks like France isn’t the place to be if you want to move up the corporate ladder to management. Employees at a 3M factory found out that a bunch of jobs were being cut so they are fighting back. Peaceful protest? Not so much. They decided to hold their boss hostage, barricading him in his office overnight until he agrees to better terms. It appears he’s still hole up in there even as I type.

  •  
  • 8
     

Stream of people leaving UBS... what does it mean for me?

GoFUCKyourself
      IB
 
(Senior Baboon, 210
 
Points)
 on 3/25/09 at 1:02am
Stream of people leaving UBS... what does it mean for me?

I'm starting full time at UBS in the summer. I wanted to see what you all think about the steady stream of senior bankers leaving UBS now? Will it end up being enough to make the bank not need as many junior bankers (like us new guys) or will it not really be that big of a deal once the ones who are planning to leave finally get out of there?

  • 3
     
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