A Real Trophy Wife

Dear Monkeys,

It's been a while and a lot has occurred. I'm kinda pissed I didn't have the chance to chime in on certain topics of the past few months. That said, I don...

Spilling the Stout

It was a clear white night, a clear black moon...

I may be Almost Human but I feel like a Baboon.

The cold beer streamed off the side of my leg as I cursed that blasted spillage. The lit spliff in my left and the barely legal gaggerette bobbing for apple made my free right hand of little use.

To be or not to be?

To huff or not to puff?

To blast or to make it last?

Those were the sorts of thoughts running through my head as that frigid coldness made me shiver. Not to be outdone, my company had to stop and give commentary.

Not something I'm fond of.

If only there was a way they could keep their tongues, but only use them for good...

In response, I offered:

Robertson's Return

With all of the big names who have left the industry over the past few years, it is good to see a legend rise out of retirement and jog back on the playing field. All of you...

Weekend Wars: Drones vs. Moans

Over the past few weeks, I have been dealing with a very annoying neighbor. She can't shut up, moans, bitches and whines about every damn thing, but she's a good lay so I...

The Multi-Million Dollar Tip

So after talking about some nasty shit for Thanksgiving, today I would like to discuss how we show our gratitude. There is nothing easier than saying "thanks" and pretending to...

Turkey Day Throw Down

Happy Thanksgiving boys and girls. As we all know and should remember, there's a lot more to be grateful for, than there is to be whining about. Still, some of us moan and...

The Imaginary Hedge Fund

Wouldn't it be great if we could go back to being kids? Or at least, if we could bring the wild imaginations we all had. You remember how it was. Picking up a water gun made...

Weekend Wars: Miners vs. Bankers

Ok, so you guys have read me ranting on the subject of physical labor and commodity related endeavors for a while now. For those who do not know, I prefer the outdoors and...

Supper Mario Bankali

So I did a good bit of traveling this past year, specifically over the summer months. One hot ass day I was sitting in the gazebo of a Mediterranean beach house trying to enjoy...

Goldman Sackless

It's pretty safe to say that not a damn thing surprises me, anymore. Open outcry communism markets trading heavy volume on the streets of America. Gender swapping toddlers...

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