5 Ways Goldman could have had better PR

As MMMagoo stated in his earlier post, nobody has come close to Goldman Sachs as everyone's target of hate. From fraud hearings, hotels, and even ferry-riding employees, everything that has Goldman Sachs attached to it is now branded as scum.

       Now how could that have happened to what is arguably the most prestigious <abbr title="investment banking">IB</abbr> on Wall Street? This is where the best, the brightest, and the hungriest go, where the most ambitious start their paths, and now you can't even say you work there without blushing.            So it got me thinking, what could they have/still can do to fix this PRmaggedon they're in now? What do you guys think?

        Here's 5 of mine:

Led people to focus on the bright side:

       Lloyd Blankfein, after biting the bullet, should have led people to focus more on the brighter side of things by adding a little to his speeches like: “We [<span><a href="//www.wallstreetoasis.com/company/goldman-sachs">Goldman Sachs</a></span>] participated in things that were clearly wrong and have reason to regret... We apologize… But hey...” pointing to a green and yellow flower, “...At least we didn’t blow up people.” 

Forged a great first impression:

       Goldman should have let Fabrice Tourre walk into the hearings wearing a beret; like Napoleon entering Paris-the effect would have been awesome, erasing the abacus deal from the senate’s minds. Women would want him, and men would be afraid to be in a knife fight with him. Except maybe Senator Levin, who looks like he can handle a cake slicer. 

The Lord’s work:

       Floods in Pakistan? Hunger in Africa? Want to short China? Worry no more! Lloyd’s on it. Had Lloyd Blankfein actually been doing God’s work, <span><a href="//www.wallstreetoasis.com/company/goldman-sachs">Goldman Sachs</a></span> would be everyone’s darling. Current examples like rainmaking and blessing the poor with bonuses are good, but had he done more, the Lloyd’s work would have never been questioned.

Educating the public:

       Goldman should have opened the eyes of the public the only way the public wants to; through a reality TV show. Following a group of 1st year <span><a href="//www.wallstreetoasis.com/finance-dictionary/what-is-investment-banking-division-IBD">IBD</a></span> analysts, the show would shed light on what investment banking really is. No, not making oceans of money through reckless deal making, but something more befitting a Goldmanite’s Ivy League education – a never ending cycle of deleting commas, copy-pasting from <span><a href="https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/wso-elite-modeling-package-overview">Excel</a></span>, and making sure every word is in Times New Roman. It’ll be a laugh riot.

Bring the magic back to Wall Street:

       No, no, not like Siegfried and Roy, they already did that by feeding Fabrice to the tigers. Goldman has to bring back the magic and allure of Wall Street, harkening back to the times when the best and brightest came there to build empires, not act like jersey shore d-bags.

Any more suggestions?

 

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