I'm off to Germany for a long weekend this morning, fellas. So I won't have anything for you on Monday, and NSFW will be delayed a couple days next week. Hopefully this bounty of delicious bananas will be enough to tied you over. Enjoy:
1) Korean Stock Broker Leaps to Death Amid Market Plunge (NBC Los Angeles) - Overreact much? A 48-year old stockbroker did a header out a window on Wednesday, after texting an apology to his colleagues and clients for recent losses. The market then rallied 500 points yesterday. Way to think it through, dipshit. He should have apologized for being a 48-year old stockbroker.
2) Who 'made $10bn on 10/1 bet that U.S. credit rating would be downgraded'? (Daily Mail) - Somebody made an $850 million bet last month that the US credit rating would be downgraded, and it paid off in spades - reportedly netting $10 billion. Early speculation is that it was none other than George Soros, the man who broke the Bank of England. Hmmmm...
3) Fifth of girl binge drinkers have sex they regret as experts warn of generation of promiscuous teenagers (Daily Mail) - I very rarely post two bananas from the same source, but you can't blame me when the news is this good. Drunken sluts. That is all.
4) 'I'm a Hamptons house ho!' (NY Post) - While we're on the subject of drunken sluts, New York's choicest gold diggers lay out what they're willing to do for a little fun in the Hamptons sun. If you've got the address, you might as well make the most of it.
5) Drive to Impress Females Pushes Males Toward Early Graves (Wired) - While you're killing yourself at work to buy that house in the Hamptons, you are literally killing yourself. This interesting study proves what we've always known: that men die earlier than women, and it's because we do stupid shit to impress them. And for those of you who think married guys live longer than single guys, they don't. It just feels like it.
6) Pirate Stock Exchange Marks Democracy's Decline (Real Clear Markets) - For those looking for a truly alternative investment, have you considered bankrolling a Somali pirate crew? I'm as serious as a heart attack. There is now a stock exchange where investors can finance pirate missions. No word on whether or not they offer swaps on Navy SEALs.
7) Fed Up: A Texas Bank Is Calling It Quits (Wall Street Journal) - I was wondering when this would start happening. Rather than deal with the costs and headaches of complying with all the new banking regulations, Texas-based Main Street Bank is closing its doors - and the bank is still making good money. They've decided to team up with Paul Allen and offer non-regulated "shadow banking" services. Might be the beginning of a trend.
8) The 10 Commandments of the American Religion (Altucher Confidential) - We've had a lot of debates about religion recently on WSO, but this is where James outlines the tenets of the American religion. How many of these commandments have you broken?
9) Ten Mezcals To Buy (Men's Journal) - My Mezcal-swilling, worm-eating days are long behind me, but for those looking for something a little more adventurous than tequila, here's a guide to 10 Mezcals that won't kill you. Unfortunately, they're all too up-market to include the requisite worm at the bottom of the bottle. For that you still need Gusano Rojo.
10) Report: 'Barefoot Bandit' inks movie deal worth up to $1.3 million (MSNBC) - If you haven't seen the 48 Hours Special about this kid, you should go check it out. One of the most audacious crooks since D.B. Cooper, Colton Harris-Moore was made for the big screen. The $1.3 million deal gets pretty close to the $1.4 million he owes his victims. Did I mention he's not even legal drinking age yet?
I was pretty hesitant to post the following video as Video of the Week, simply because it's so horrifying and so full of PHAIL, but I decided to run it as a Public Service Announcement.
Hey, rich kids: this is why the whole world fucking hates you. The production costs alone for this Andover Prep video were probably more than a South Boston family makes in a year. Videos like this are just an example of rich people spiking the ball in the end zone when they started the game 72 points ahead. Love the Auto Tune, too. Pricks.
Have a great weekend, guys. Get some rest after this crazy week. Let me know what you think of this week's bananas, and I'll see you on Tuesday!
Epic post.
Great stuff!
Got damn, those guys in the andover video must be getting laid non stop (specially the black dude)
3) "Experts" have been warning of a generation of increased promiscuity since the beginning of time. Yawn.
Directly from the source
Boarding Student Tuition: $41,300
Fuck That
http://www.andover.edu/Admission/Tuition/Pages/default.aspx
Awesome bananas, thank you - that piece about dudes dying early kind of struck a chord.
Read the article on #2. If you watched the treasuries after the downgrade you would see that this person probably lost his shirt.
A lot of execs committed suicide in Japan after WWII... had to do with making a public apology and taking the perceived responsibility off the firm and placing it on themselves. We didn't see much of that in 08
10 is badass, how did he teach himself how to fly?
I think he used the Jeppesen videos (I'm dead serious) and played with the Microsoft flight simulator. Remember that he crashed every plane he stole.
While I totally agree that the video is super pretentious and the vast majority of kids that go to those schools are just well connected rich kids (highly doubt the application process of totally merit driven) wouldn't it be great if that was the benchmark for public schools?
“I didn’t string her along. She put herself in that position . . . and many, many others,” he says. “Realistically, we would have slept together anyway, but it would’ve maybe taken a couple real dates. Instead, she just hit the fast-forward button.” “I now say, if someone is trying to use you, recognize it and use them back.”
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/hamptons_house_ho_3beAqXOzYnmL6TJ…
words of wisdom
I think Andover would be great to go to. But I do think that it's funny how much they showed the black kid. Every single person that they showed walking by or teaching was white, but to show their multiculturalism they showed the black guy like 6 times (more than any other kid rapping/singing on there)
I feel like a complete jackass loser for watching even 2:10 of that video
"The production costs alone for this Andover Prep video were probably more than a South Boston family makes in a year."
Not anymore. The average South Boston family nowadays is loaded. Two parents working on Atlantic Ave for asset managers, throw the two kids in day care in one of the Seaport Bright Horizons or send them to the Catholic Academy, a 750K condo, plus paying for a parking spot for the Merc SUV or 7 series. Times have changed down there, Eddie.
Are they paying cash or "pre-paying" with a credit card, or overdoing it on their credit card?
This link has a picture of Cass Almendral the Hampton guy who bang the girls who like pretty house pretty pretty
http://www.charitybenefits.com/Photos/guggenheim10-99a/cass.jpg
oh Andover... I blame the Democrats for this
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