Bonus Bananas August 26, 2011

I'm off to the Emerald Isle on Sunday, so I'll be out all next week. Somehow you guys will get by without me. Here's this week's Bananas:

1) Chart of the Day: Student Loans Have Grown 511% Since 1999 (The Atlantic) - I wish I could think of a way to profit from the education bubble, because it is completely out of control. Educational inflation more or less began in the mid-80s when I was in high school, but it has taken off like a rocket over the past decade. If you're a high school senior, this should scare the shit out of you.

2) At Goldman, You're Fired Gently (FINS Finance) - If you're one of the 5% of Goldman's staff that gets fired as a matter of course each year, at least the firm allows you a modicum of dignity on your way out the door. Gotta say I was a little surprised at this. They actually let you keep working for a few months until you find another gig. I give Goldman a lot of shit, but that's pretty decent.

3) How to hack the lottery (Washington Post) - Did you know the lottery can be hacked? A Stanford statistics PhD has won the lottery 4 times since 1993 for a total of $21 million. Now hacking the lottery is becoming a cottage industry among mathletes. Think you've got what it takes, Quant Boy?

4) Pirate-Fighters, Inc.: How Mercenaries Became Ships’ Best Defense (Wired) - Ever had a million dollar idea and failed to execute on it, only to watch someone else cash in years later on YOUR idea? Well, this was mine all the way back in 1996 when I was living near Indonesia (at the time the globe's piracy hotspot). A company of former combat Marines hired out to commercial shipping companies to protect their cargo. Sheesh. If only...

5) Interview with Edward O. Thorp (Journal of Investment Consulting) - The granddaddy of quants is alive and well. He talks about his early education and how bad it was, but how that neglect freed him up to study what he wanted and teach himself. He touches on his Vegas days and how out of his element he was. He also goes into the snobbery in academia and how guys like himself and the creators of the Black-Scholes model couldn't get the time of day from the recognized economists of the time. Great interview.

6) Vanished Moody's analyst told to pay SEC $34.6 million (Reuters) - When the walls came tumbling down around Deep Shah in the Galleon case, he wasn't dumb enough to stick around and see how bad things could get. He bolted to India, and has been a ghost in Mumbai ever since. Now he's been ordered to cough up $35 million. Good luck with that.

7) Understanding The Strange Dating Habits Of Twentysomethings (Thought Catalog) - This is kinda bizarre, and makes me glad I'm out of the dating scene. Do you guys really do the Two Week Relationship? I mean, I get hit-it-and-quit-it. What I don't get is essentially getting married for a couple weeks and then dropping off the face of the Earth. Kids these days.

8) Geographic Arbitrage: Save Money by Leaving The Country (Get Rich Slowly) - This is a quick and dirty primer on geo-arbitrage, more commonly known as getting the fuck out of Dodge. Anyone who has or is considering moving overseas should read through this, because there is a right and a wrong way to do it (hint: taking three shipping containers worth of shit with you is the WRONG way, ahem, Mrs. Braverman).

9) Is It Time For ‘Dining Time Limit’ In NYC Restaurants? (CBS NY) - This is an idea that would NEVER fly in Paris, but perhaps its time has come in New York. What do you guys think? Should there be a time limit on dinner?

10) Anonymous tweeter talks Goldman Sachs (Puget Sound Business Journal) - I guess you might call this one, "Shit My MD Says". A Goldman employee (?) operating under the name @GSElevator is tweeting the conversations he/she overhears in, well, Goldman Sachs's elevators. Some of them are pretty hilarious, and it's worth checking them out before the Vampire Squid has this guy shot.

The Video of the Week this week was sent to me by none other than HappyPantsMcGee, and it seems pretty appropriate as I'm heading to Ireland in a couple days. The video incorporates two of my favorite things: bare knuckle brawling, and the bizarre subset of humanity known as Irish Travellers. Besides, what's better than a couple of Pikeys beating the piss out of each other? Enjoy:

And who could forget Brad Pitt's turn as a Pikey bare-knuckle brawler in Snatch:

Have a great weekend, guys. Let me know what you think about this week's batch of bananas. I'll be thinking of you during my 5-day pub crawl through Dublin.

Cheers.

 
  1. The kids aren't alright, Eddie. The writer hit it directly on the head: we're all insane.

  2. Absolutely not. New Yorkers will get angry and impatient and say you're taking too long even if you're sitting there for ten minutes.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 

7) So true, I've done this (still do) to plenty of women. The thing is this: internet girls are a dime a dozen. I might be really into a girl for a few weeks and we talk and hang out a lot, but the moment she makes me feel uncomfortable, hit the pavement sweetheart. I'll just log back on and find another girl in 10 min, no harm done. This is also why I can't date a friend or family friend, the slightest screw up on my part has at least 4 people on my ass. Nothing's more annoying. So until an internet dater is actually serious about committment, this 2 week thing is where it's at.

yellow t-shirt
 
Edmundo Braverman:
We all knew THIS was coming:

Goldman trying to ferret out the employee behind @GSElevator:

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/goldman_takes_on_twit_pYhRFwCWzIwvDv263…

Tried to get Twitter to freeze the account while they complete an internal investigation. C'mon, Lloyd, pull the stick out of your ass and enjoy the humor.

Ahh, lame.

 

10) "Riding the subway reminds me why I'm pro-choice." #2: (laughs) "I live in Battery Park."

LMAO!!! Kind of true though.

I am not cocky, I am confident, and when you tell me I am the best it is a compliment. -Styles P
 

1) This is why I am making sure my younger brother goes to the Navy before going to college.
2) BS on this one. I worked there last summer and I was told stories about people who were fired rather abruptly. Maybe for an MD or senior VP they may do this, but definitely not for analysts. 3) People have been doing this for years. I am actually going to drop 100$ to see if I can spot any method to the madness. 4) Why don't we just send in the SEALS to blow up the pirate motherships? I don't understand why a big company hasn't hired some exmilitary people to take the fight to the pirates.

I am not cocky, I am confident, and when you tell me I am the best it is a compliment. -Styles P
 

3) "In 2003, Mohan Srivastava, a statistician in Toronto, managed to unearth patterns in the Ontario Lottery scratch cards and predict which ones were winners. (Rather than cash in, he alerted lottery officials by mailing them two piles of unscratched cards labeled winners and losers—he got 19 of 20 right.)"

that is one honest son of a bitch.

Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
 

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