By the time you guys read this, I'll be a on a beach in the Costa Dorada region of Spain in a location so remote that I don't even know where the hell it is (true story). Thank God for GPS. Anyway, I'll be gone all week next week and I won't have Internet access, so don't bother trying to reach me (you read the part about "remote", right?). I'll be back a week from Monday. And yes, it is actually that cool to be me.

Great stuff for you this week:

1) Marine killed by Taliban leaves £100,000 in his will to send
32 of his mates on holiday (The Sun) - Pretty much the pinnacle of badassery. This 23-year old British Royal Marine caught the high hard one in Afghanistan, but left £100,000 for his buddies to party in Vegas. Doesn't get much cooler than that.

2) The Short Blogging Life of a Banking Intern (Dealbook) - If you're a summer analyst (read: finance slave), it's probably best not to detail the various and sundry crimes against humanity you endure on a daily basis. At least that seems to be the message sent to this would-be chronicler of monkey woe. It's a shame, it looked like it was gonna be pretty funny.

3) 5 Great Beer Apps to Kick-Start Your Summer (Wise Bread) - With summer officially kicked off this week, it's time to cool down with some tasty brews. Find My Tap works on both iPhone and Android, and helps you find the nearest bar with your favorite suds on tap. I'm reminded of something my old Gunnery Sergeant used to say. "Draft beer is like a good blowjob, son. You can't get it at home."

4) Madoff Yacht Goes Up For Sale (FIN Alternatives) - Here's your chance to own a piece of scumbag history (for those of you who missed out on buying the Mets). The 90' Leopard motoryacht is listed for $4.3 million, but who can put a price tag on that kind of notoriety? It's bad luck to change the name of a boat, and this one is already christened "Bull", so it's ready made for a monkey on the rise.

5) Man flies US Airways in women's underwear (SF Gate) - I can remember a time when you wouldn't dream of getting on a plane in anything other than a 3-piece suit (that's right, fuckers, we all wore vests back then). And now there's this. I have no words.

6) It’s Still the Economy, Stupid (Newsweek) - A really solid piece written by former President Bill Clinton. He advocates eliminating red tape first and foremost, moves to funding start-ups, and offers a couple of common sense green solutions to our economic malaise. I have to say I was pretty surprised. I didn't know he had it in him. Which is to say he obviously employs talented writers.

7) The New Silicon Valley Douchebag (Tech Crunch) - Do you think of yourself as the founder of the next billion dollar tech company? If you wear a hoodie, show up to work at 10 in the morning, and play video games all day, you're probably the new breed of Silicon Valley douchebag. Your time will pass, and we'll all be the better for it.

8) Banker-Turned-Author Rides E-Book ‘Tsunami’ at 99 Cents a Novel (Bloomberg) - Who hasn't dreamed about quitting banking and writing the great American novel? Former B of A guy David Lender has made that dream a reality - 99 cents at a time. He's self-published four Wall Street thrillers for the Amazon Kindle, and he's eschewing traditional publishing altogether.

9) Return Of The Dreaded Misery Index (Investors Business Daily) - Guess what, kids? The Misery Index is spiking. (I know, shocker, right?) The Misery Index measures the combination of inflation and unemployment. Even though Obama's Misery Index average of 10.37 is considerably higher than W's average of 8.11 and Clinton's average of 7.88, it's still well below Carter's abysmal 21.98 peak. But there's always next year.

10) How To Buy A Stolen Credit Card (Planet Money) - This is pretty scary stuff. Did you know that there is actually an eBay for stolen credit card numbers? True story. This is a really incredible story. To join the site, you have to be a bona fide thief - but you also have to deal with others fairly. A rare glimpse into the dark side of the Internet.

This week's video is so nasty I actually thought twice about posting it. It's the Red Band trailer for the movie 30 Minutes or Less, and it is definitely NSFW - so turn your speakers down before watching it. It's from the same guys who brought us Zombieland and, frankly, they had me at "Zombieland". Looks like it might be a scream. Plus it's got Kenny Powers.

Have a great weekend, monkeys, and have a great week without me next week. Feel free to let me know what you think of this week's Bonus Bananas because I will get caught up when I get back.

Hasta Lasagna, don't get any on ya.