1) Inside the epic, all-night, Goldman Sachs scavenger hunt (Quartz) - This is some outide-the-box teambuilding right here, and it sounds like it was a blast.
2) The 2013 Running Of The Interns (Buzzfeed) - Think you've got it bad as an intern? At least you're not a SCOTUS gopher. They should make this a thing on Wall Street. An annual intern Starbucks run, with public floggings for last place.
3) Prosecutors Probe Potential 'Willful Blindness' By Cohen (FIN Alternatives) - Now they're just grasping at straws. So desperate are they to pin something on Cohen that now they're taking the tack that even if he didn't know what was going on in SAC, he should have. A bit of a stretch, in my humble opinion.
4) When Brevity Is the Soul of Wall Street Research (Dealbook) - This just cracked me up. This should be the model for all further research reports.
5) Dating Tips for Uptown Divorcées: Middle-Aged Millionaires Are Just Not That Into You (NY Observer) - If NSA sex with freshly divorced cougars is your thing, I've got some great news for you. Otherwise, this piece is just gonna piss you off.
6) How former gangster Ryan Blair became a millionaire CEO (BBC News) - Definitely the feel good story of the week. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't overcome adversity or escape your past.
7) US Boss: China Workers Holding Me Hostage in My Factory (CNBC) - This is for real and it's scary, but it's also kinda funny at the same time. They've been doing this in France for years, but the kidnapped boss usually pays his ransom in brandy. I don't think these Chinese workers are that easily bought.
8) Is Obesity Really a Disease? (The Atlantic) - This piece has been kicking up a ton of controversy on the interwebs over the past week or so, and I wanted to get your take on it. I say no, it's a lack of discipline (and I used to be obese). What do you think?
9) The Biggest Fast-Food Calorie Bombs (ABC News) - While we're on the subject, some of these are gonna surprise you. Hat's off to White Castle. Well played, sirs.
10) VIDEO: Schoolkids taunt Dallas Zoo gorilla, gorilla gives them a good scare (NY Daily News) - When we first landed in the Philippines as 18-year old Marines, our boss told us there were only two rules: Always wear a rubber, and don't fuck with the monkeys. Clearly no one told these asshole kids.
Video of the Week:
Wow. Someone finally made soccer watchable. How long does it take to make this modification to the game permanent?
That's it for this week, monkeys! Have fun at WSO Con, and let me know what you think about this week's Bananas in the comments!
1:50 in the soccer video. Classic. Both 1 and 2 are worth reading/watching. 5: just makes me thrown up. 6 was inspirational.
Aaron Hernandez should take notes on number 6.
Number 1 is amazing. I'm suprised its Goldman funding it and not Apple or Google.
This is why you run from NYC if you ever make money.
A buddy of mine was a NYMEX floor clerk back in the day. They'd tape paper spurs to your shoes, make you wear a basket and would throw trading tickets at you (which the basket would catch). Apparently the next summer, some trader threw a ticket and smacked a guy right in the eye, so now the clerks all have to wear goggles.
Awesome stuff.
Wait a second. I just re-read that. 20 chicken rings are 1800 calories!? Holy crap...
Video of the week: This should be incorporated in to more activities/sports... like runway modeling, NASCAR and the NYSE
i thought today was Thursday...im so disoriented
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