Bonus Bananas September 20, 2013

Any monkeys in Paris who want to get tore up from the floor up tonight, hit me up by PM. @AndyLouis and I are getting Mouffetarded tonight. Let's get it on:

1) JPMorgan Fined For Losing Money (Bloomberg) - By now you've no doubt heard about the almost billion-dollar fine JPMorgan was levied in the London Whale kerfuffle. This analysis from Matt Levine deserves top billing this week.

2) James Gorman on Pay: I’m a ‘Rationalist’ (Wall Street Journal) - The halcyon days of being paid way too much with zero accountability are long since over on Wall Street, and Gorman thinks that's a good thing.

3) Tatsuo Horiuchi | the 73-year old Excel spreadsheet artist (Spoon & Tamago) - Hat tip to @Assets for mining this gem. Just imagine the beastly pitchbooks this guy would put out. It would never even occur to me to use Excel as a paint canvas, though I will admit I have used it on occasion to create best selling fiction.

4) STRAUSS-KAHN TO BE SERBIA'S ECONOMIC ADVISER (Associated Press) - Too easy.

5) Mark Cuban Shows Variety In Portfolio With Latest Startup Investments (Nibletz) - We all wish we were someone else from time to time, and Mark Cuban is pretty close to the top of my list of fantasy lives. I just wonder who he wishes he were.

6) Ryanair 'worst' brand for customer service (The Telegraph) - "What a shock!" said no one who has ever had to deal with these assclowns. Bar none the worst travel experience you will ever have. And not just a one-off. These guys are consistent.

7) Sony aims to sell 5 million PS4 consoles in less than five months (The Globe & Mail) - Does anyone have any doubt that they'll hit this number? GTA V did $800 million in sales in its first day. My wife doesn't know anything about gaming consoles and she's already asked me if we're getting a PS4.

8) Gold Lamborghini: Yours for $7.5 million (CNBC) - 2006 called. It wants its gaudy shit back.

9) U.S. F-22 stealth fighter pilot taunted Iranian F-4 Phantom combat planes over the Persian Gulf (The Aviationist) - Because 'Murica.

10) Knicks fixed games for drug dealers: FBI probe (NY Post) - As if anyone needed another reason to hate the Knicks. Buncha point shaving crackheads.

Video of the Week:

How about a little motivation going into the weekend? Here's a great video about reinventing yourself by the one and only Ze Frank. Hopefully it gets you fired up and helps you power through Friday and into the weekend. Remember: there's only two working days left till Monday. Enjoy:

That's it for this week, stallions. Get out there and kill it with fire, have a tremendous weekend, and let me know what you think about this week's Bananas in the comments!

 

The PS3 hasn't really maxed out its potential yet and most (pretty much all) the TVs on the market today aren't powerful enough to get the full benefit of the PS4, so that being said I see no reason to upgrade yet; however, if you do plan on getting a PS4, you might as well buy the PS4 and PS Vita bundle for $500.00. That is a good deal.

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.
 

BTW, I would also like to toss in my own laughable article for the week. Bolivia plans on suing the US for crimes against humanity:

http://en.alalam.ir/news/1518474

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.
 

RE: #8, I wonder how a car like that would depreciate? Salvage value on that sucker is probably a little higher than your average Honda. Gold bug's wet dream assuming they could afford it.

Also can't wait to see number 9 after work.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

@AndyLouis is a gentleman, a scholar, and heavy consumer of alcoholic beverages of most any kind. Have fun guys...and have another writeup for us monkeys who can't be there but wish they could!

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 

7 One thing working against the PS4 is that gamers will have to pay to play online (PS3 players didn't have to pay vs Xbox 360 players who did). GTA5 posted $800mn in sales on the first day, which is frickin' phenomenal - no date locked in yet for this game's release on PS4.

9 F-4 Phantoms? Great planes from the Vietnam War, but perhaps the Iranian Air Force is running out of replacement parts & funds for the more advanced F-14s (or whatever their top of the line interceptor is these days)?

10 With Michael Ray Richardson on that team, no one should be surprised...

All the world's indeed a stage, And we are merely players, Performers and portrayers, Each another's audience, Outside the gilded cage - Limelight (1981)
 

I am loving that Ze Frank video. A wonderful way to start a Friday morning.

Betsy Massar Come see me at my Q&A thread http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/b-school-qa-w-betsy-massar-of-master-admissions Ask away!
 
Best Response

1 - At Citadel, some dude tried to do something similar this summer, and the internal controls caught him in three hours. Maybe this underscores the difference between the sell side and the buy side, or maybe Citadel is just that freaking good at everything they do. But more to the point, Citadel isn't NEGLIGENT in their management and OVERENTITLED in their expectation of being bailed out by the gov't. Levine is correct in pointing out that making stupid mistakes isn't illegal, but these weren't stupid mistakes. JPM was fined for negligent corporate governance.

Sucks for the rest of us. The whole conept of finance used to be "I just want an honest week's pay for an honest day's work". Sonnuvabitches, now the gov't hates us. THIS is what you eventually get when you do business with the US gov't....they're assholes.

Get busy living
 

7) Biggest thing to hit Sony in a while. I fully expect them to make quite a bit on this. Lord help us on black Friday PS4 deals. 9) Surprised he didn't roll upside down and flip him the bird. He probably became a fighter pilot because of "Top Gun". Honestly, it would have been super tempting.

Video of the week is awesome. Thanks

PE is the new black.
 

At 1). Not sure what his point really is or was, his typical just angry at the world style of writing. Mis-marking a 6.2 billion dollar book and hiding it for sure is going to impact the rest of the players in that market, it is basically a very strong attempt at market manipulation. Does not matter if you win or lose you are pushing the market in a direction for no reason.

In the energy and commodity markets the CFTC and FERC always lay down massive fines for anyone mismarking, manipulating or trying to massively hide losses all the time does not matter on the outcome of the trade. It is about time that the SEC did that too.

 

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Reality hits you hard, bro...
 

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