When was the last time you thought of ripping off your MD/VP/Associate's head? Have you had enough of your hippy family members who keep yapping about how Wall Street is destroying the world? When was the last time you really hated someone?
Today I am going to talk about how to clear out negative thoughts. Have you realized that there are certain people that you just hate? You feel that they stand for everything that you despise. And why is that? I actually read this book: “Zero Limits”. In the book, the author said, you can only see things in others for the things that you see in yourself. What does that mean? Everyone is simply a projection of you. You feel certain ways towards others because that’s how you associate yourself with.
I Hate You – Learning How to Love
What is the quickest way to figure out your personality? Pick out 5 people that you hate and 5 people that you love. Then write it down on a piece of paper 2 reasons (why you hate or love) about each individual. Put down these 20 characteristics: 10 things you hate on the left and 10 things you love on the right. Take a closer look at that. What you see is who you are as an individual. Yes, that’s YOU.
What we hate about others are exactly the things that we hate ourselves for. What we love about others is the qualities that we wish to develop for ourselves and we haven’t tried hard enough.
Let me repeat this to sink in with example. For example, I really hate people who are emotional. And when I reflect on this long enough, I realize that it’s because I am very emotional myself. I hate the feeling of not being able to control my feeling. I love people who are free-spirited and spontaneous. I realize that it’s because I wish to be more like them sometimes. I always like to know where I stand and where I am going. This often leads to me becoming very controlling. So it’s just being more aware of who you are as individual.
Another thing is that to me, personality is like a color. For example, being helpful is the color blue. There is nothing great or bad about blue or helping out others. Some people might take that quality as being a doormat, and call him an easy pushover. Some people might call him as a great guy who is willing to help. It doesn’t matter. You see what I am saying. In the end it’s just a piece of his personality. And you are merely putting your opinion on it.
I personally don’t see people as just one single color. If I had to get artsy, I see people as paintings. You can tell a Monet’s work from let’s say Picasso’s. What I care about is the “entire painting itself”. How does this person make me feel as a multi-dimensional individual? Do I like the mixtures of his personality like whether I like the mood/vibe that this painting gives off? Do you see what I mean? In the end, it’s a personal choice. In the end, it’s about finding the right balance in someone.
So when you see someone you like, know why you do. When you meet someone that you disapprove of, take a step back and think about it: maybe you are just seeing things that you don’t like in yourself. There is nothing wrong with that person, so let’s start working on ourselves first. Have a great day everyone and remember to love yourself.
So my fellow Monkeys, how do you deal with your anger and frustration towards other people in your life?
My Story:
Part 1: My Pursuit of Happyness
Part 2: My Pursuit of Happyness
See my previous posts in this series:
Day 1: To Be A Better Man
Day 2: Healthy Competition Among Mature Men
Day 3: I HATE YOU
Day 4: SWAG, Do You Have It?
Day 5: Word of Advice
Day 6: 10 Important Life Lessons
Day 7: Unofficial Guide to Banking & Dating
Bonus: Previous Useful Posts
Powerful stuff! Thank you.
Thank you for your compliment. :)
Nice Post, as usually. The way I handle anger is to take deep breaths and listen to music. Frustration on the other hand can be handled by taking a break at what is causing my frustrations, because a great flaw that we all share is frustration which can sometimes get the best of us.
Thank you for sharing your tip. Personally, I usually ask for a time out when I am mad because I need time to regain composure and phrase my message carefully. Throughout the history, more wars have been fought and more relationships have been destroyed over angry words. :)
I actually haven't felt angry in years. At all. The closest thing I've felt is mild frustration. Like if Excel crashes, I might mutter "fuck you excel". I can't imagine this is normal.
I just zone out. I take it in, but I don't really care. I guess a lot of shit just doesn't seem to matter. It's a "there are more fish in the sea" attitude with everything. It works pretty well.
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