Four myths that b-school shattered for me
If the most valuable type of learning is learning you're wrong, this is the most valuable section of the $250k notebook:
Revenue synergies are like unicorns. If someone says he’s seen one, he’s probably never been fucked.
The triple bottom line: The number on the third bottom line is usually subtracted from the other two.
Health insurance can't make health care affordable. It isn't even supposed to. As a whole, health insurance has to cost people more money than it saves for them. If it didn’t, companies couldn’t afford to stay in business. (I have no excuse for why I didn't realize this until business school, except perhaps that I'd never really had reason to think about it. Auntie Bankerella expects some good flames about this one from you big swinging douchebags in the comments section.)
Condom use is not necessarily more prevalent among top MBA candidates than the national average. Use of hormonal birth control definitely is. (PSA: Don't be a dumbass; you still gotta wrap it up. Just because that girl/guy is super-nice and used to work in PE, you think this is the first time they've had unprotected sex in their lives? What do you think they were doing in Germany last month? And what are the chances that someone they slept with has slept with someone who banged Thai tranny hookers?)
Natural and normal are opposites. So we should probably stop conflating them. In support of this statement, I offer the three following bullets:
- In order to get ready for work, survive work, relax from work, and sleep, most people rely on at least one psychoactive substance. Going all-natural is abnormal.
- I once attended one of those warm, fuzzy, caring/sharing events for female MBAs. There were 15 women in the mid-late stage of their careers who had a family. I asked them to be honest and reveal how many of them had had IVF. The answer: 9 out of 15. (One additional person had adopted without doing IVF, but she was in a domestic partnership with another woman.) So for this population, natural reproduction is abnormal.
- And finally, my favorite example: for millenia, a normal human 26-year-old was married, had a family, and was mature and established after spending ten to fifteen years progressing in their career. On the other hand, let's look at what's normal for the average 26-year-old MBA at a top program. They are cutting class, drinking all night, working on their tans, working on their abs, going to Thailand or Germany on the weekends, still thinking about what career they want, still at least somewhat reliant on parents, and a long way from marriage and commitment. In this population, we can posit that normal adolescence lasts 15+ years.
Nothing wrong with aiming to land in this culture, as long as you remember that prolonging your adolescence naturally shortens the years you could be living your adulthood, and that many people find full adulthood richer and more rewarding than adolescence.






Comments
bankerella: The most valuable
The most valuable section of the $250k notebook:
Use condoms
Not sure if serious
I realized in b-school that
I realized in b-school that plan B is the single biggest pollutant relative to its size.
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Now, please post some of the
Now, please post some of the myths about attending b-school. Some people here believe it will transform them from Super-dweeb to Superman while the opposite sex drops trou every time they learn they go to 'HBS' or whatever. You are the perfect person to give them a reality check.
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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Sometimes I feel bad for you
Sometimes I feel bad for you that this is the stuff you learned at b-school
Domino: bankerella: The
The most valuable section of the $250k notebook:
Use condoms
Not sure if serious
no time for the old in-out, love, i've just come to read the meter
You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.
bankerella: Revenue
Revenue synergies are like unicorns. If someone says he’s seen one, he’s probably never been fucked.
but... but... but... i read about revenue synergies in the CFA curriculum. surely they must be real.
:-(
Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
I'm gonna stab you to death
I'm gonna stab you to death and play around with your blood, bankarella.
The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.
SonnyZH: I'm gonna stab you
I'm gonna stab you to death and play around with your blood, bankarella.
american psycho reference ftw. or not.
Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
What's more upsetting than
What's more upsetting than anything is that all these things are actually believed by most people.
And of course people in business school have no clue what they want to do... why else would they be there?
Edit: And I thought that one phrase was "cutting glass" which I was going to say actually applied to me, but it was "cutting class." Other than that, no concerns.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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interesting picture you chose
interesting picture you chose for the post
When evaluating whether or not to post something on WSO, I think to myself, "would an idiot post this" and if the answer is yes, I do not post that thing...
peepstache: interesting
interesting picture you chose for the post
That's because I want you guys to think of that picture every time someone says the words "revenue synergies" from now until the day you retire.
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Did you go to Wharton?
Did you go to Wharton?
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Several things came to mind
Several things came to mind while scanning your latest cranial bombardment:
1) What's the point of M/A, cross-marketing, and rebranding if revenue synergies don't exist? Serious question, I need the answer so I can eventually be fucked.
2) Who the fuck goes to Thailand or Germany for a weekend? This one's important, as your proximity to these places is a key indicator of your heritage. As I've stated in early posts, I believe there is a slim chance you are white, and an overwhelming chance you have two dads.
3) When referring to your female MBA fuzzy events, you mentioned IVFs. I think the acronym you are searching for is "IBD." I would agree that 9/15 women in IBD seems abnormal. As a banker, you should know better. Silly Bankerella!
I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival.
Who is the Bankerella? Like
Who is the Bankerella? Like WTF are these posts I keep seeing? Myths of Bschool are no condom usage and synergies don't exist? I mean c'mon.
I used to think endless posts about drug tests and arguing about what is a target were bad. I now know the true meaning of what bad can be.
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Adulthood is overrated.
Adulthood is overrated.
Muscle and hustle, life's just a game girl. You know that..
TNA: Who is the Bankerella?
You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.
Fwiw, I think Bankerella is
GBS
Going Concern: TNA: Who is
Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
sayandarula: Going
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
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TNA: Who is the Bankerella?
sayandarula: Going
GS: sayandarula: Going
GBS
GoldmanBallSachs: GS: say
I hate victims who respect their executioners
Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
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GoldmanBallSachs: GS: say
GS: Is there a reason why
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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GoldmanBallSachs: GS: say
SirTradesaLot: GS: Is there
We were wondering when you'd
.
You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.
but... but... but... what
tempaccount: but... but...
GS: SirTradesaLot: GS: Is
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: GS: SirTra
When I read your posts I
GS: SirTradesaLot: Interest
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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personofcolour: When I read
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SirTradesaLot: GS: SirTra
GS: SirTradesaLot: GS:
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: Also, BS is
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Myth #5: People give a shit
SirTradesaLot: Ok, I'll bite.
You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.
bankerella: SirTradesaLot:
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: bankerella:
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Going
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: Going
You have to play the game to find out why you're playing the game.
bankerella: SirTradesaLot:
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: Bankerella, Pl
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bankerella: SirTradesaLot:
I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'm also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.
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SirTradesaLot: GS: SirTra
Getting off the finance