Is Marriage Useless Today?
mod (Andy) note: "Blast from the past - Best of Eddie" - This one is originally from November 2010. If there's an old post from Eddie you'd like to see up again shoot me a message.
Has marriage become obsolete? According to a recent Time Magazine/Pew poll, 40% of Americans believe that marriage is obsolete today, and 44% of Americans under 30 believe the institution of marriage is soon to be extinct.
I can't think of a better topic to write about on my 8th anniversary.
You guys know how I feel about marriage from a practical standpoint: there's no percentage in it. Clearly, Prince William is not a WSO reader. All joking aside, though, is marriage dead? For someone in a lopsided income/asset relationship (where one partner earns or is worth far more than the other), how could it be to the advantage of the more financially successful partner to get married?
An entire cottage industry of lawyers dedicated to busting prenuptial agreements has sprung up over the past decade, so even that last line of defense is no longer impenetrable. And I never thought pre-nups were a good idea in the first place. Marriage is hard enough to keep together without an easy out hanging over its head.
The social stigma attached to being unmarried is now all but nonexistent (especially for men). Eight times as many children are born out of wedlock in America today than were in 1960. And only 26% of 20-somethings are married today, versus 66% of them 50 years ago.
This might come as a shock to many of you, but the divorce rate was much higher in 1978 than it is today. While this might appear to be good news on the surface, the reality of the statistic is that people just aren't bothering to get married any more. Co-habitation is way up, and jumped a full 13% from 2009-2010 (the recession no doubt played a large role in the increase).
In my view, the only reason to get married is if you want to have kids. My wife and I have been married 8 years today, and we've got two great kids and a fantastic family life. I have to admit that the stability is nice, and stability is something I abhorred for the majority of my adult life.
I'd like to hear what you guys think. Is marriage obsolete? Would you consider raising a family without being married? And should the government have anything whatsoever to do with marriage, straight or otherwise? I'll leave you with Doug Stanhope's thoughts on the matter, and you can leave me with yours:
Oh, and Happy Anniversary to my gorgeous bride. I know she reads my stuff about as often as Prince William but, just in case, now I'm covered.
Comments
I blame the gays
I blame the gays
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First off, congratulations on
First off, congratulations on your anniversary.
I have to admit that the stability is nice.
However, how can you claim to enjoy stability when everything you own, and everything you will own, is on the line? When you married your wife you gave up everything. For what? So you can wear a fucking ring?
Marriage, from a male perspective, brings with it a horrific rick to reward ratio. There is minimal gain.
Marriage was a ploy developed by women. Men do not gain form marriage - everything they can get from it they can easily get without getting married. It's a poor rate of return.
My girlfriend has been in my ear constantly about whether or not I think I'll ever marry her. I told her no.
I'm 26, just got married, and
I'm 26, just got married, and I am happy. I will report back in 5 years and let you know how the experiment is going.
I just got back from a
I just got back from a friend's wedding last weekend. He just graduated 2010 and I honestly have no idea why he decided to propose/marry his gf.
If you are going to get married, at least wait until you are older, don't don it straight out of college.
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Congratulations on 8 years,
Congratulations on 8 years, seems like you're able to keep together a successful career and a family, which I think is the hardest part, so that's awesome. I don't think marriage is useless, it does add some stability, the feeling that you're in it for better or for worse, you'll definitely try to work things out and deal with issue together before just simply breaking up. Yes, there's always divorce, but that's a long, nasty course of action.
That being said, I'm 26 and have not dated a girl, that at 6 months out, I'd consider spending the rest of my life with, and I think my dating pool is shrinking yearly as people are getting married and all the good ones are being taken, not that I'd like to be married before 30, but it just makes things harder. Who knows, maybe someone will come around and blow me away, but it hasn't happened yet.
I think the later years are when marriage means happiness. Someone to vacation with, travel with in retirement, etc. Facing 50 alone would be tough.
Clarkey wrote: However, how
However, how can you claim to enjoy stability when everything you own, and everything you will own, is on the line? When you married your wife you gave up everything. For what? So you can wear a fucking ring?
Marriage, from a male perspective, brings with it a horrific rick to reward ratio. There is minimal gain.
I can't disagree. The risk/reward ratio is horrific, which is why I can't recommend marriage to any but those whose sole focus in life is children.
That said, I'd lose a great deal more than material possessions if my wife ever left me. A guy like me has mastered wealth generation, so I could lose everything I have tomorrow and I'd have it all back in a couple years. I don't sweat that shit for a minute. My wife and family, on the other hand, are irreplaceable.
For those of you who are
For those of you who are marriage-averse (myself included), never underestimate the value of a quality escort service.
Props to Eddie and anyone else who tied the knot and after 8 years can still say they are happy; you have clearly found a real gem in your partner.
In 1976, James Hunt broke the sound barrier through Eau Rouge only to retire before the event finished... following the race he had sex with three Belgian nurses at the clubhouse near La Source.
For those who worried that
For those who worried that their wives are after their wealth, you should choose a wife after some time together not as a spurt of the moment because she's a great f**k. Why do you think so many marriages that start in early 20s actually survive? because at that age you are still a nobody and the person you choose is for reasons like good character, loyalty, good cook, etc, and vise versa. If you rich as hell and still work like crazy and want to have a hot wife, don't be surprised when you find out in few months/years that she is in it for the wrong reasons.
Marriage actually sucks if you look purely from legal/financial standpoint. It's an institution and all institutions are somehow, somewhere flawed. However, look at it from the perspective of a family. In my view, there is nothing more rewarding than building a family. In a family, you know that no matter what happens to you someone will care for you no matter how rich you are.
I am not crazy about marriage just cause i'm a guy and want my freedom, but looking at my parents I think it's great. I think family can be a reason you wake up each morning.
Do what you want not what you can!
I don't really know how I
I don't really know how I feel about the subject. What I do know is that some day I want to start a family, probably in my late late 20s. There's really no rush; I mean people live longer now, on average, then they used to 50 years ago, so if you factor that in, you have to live with your significant other longer than before, so make sure she's the right person for you. My other thoughts on marriage is that it provides that stability that Eddie mentioned, which is really nice and comforting. At the same time, who says you couldn't have a life partner without "putting a ring on it"?
From a psychological perspective, I've read that people that are married (happily rather than not) live longer than people that go through life without a life partner. Another factor to consider in today's uber competitive society is that both partners will have invested just as much in their education, career, self development etc., so that when it comes down to starting a family, one of them will have to ease on the accelerator, and take care of the kids, the household etc. Even though you share all those responsibilities, someone will have to pick up a slightly heavier part of that load, who's going to do it? Would you? Is she going to do it?
Here's one last thought I have on the matter, that I've come to by discussing it with close friends, who've shared stories of their friends with me, similar to those posted above: people getting married right out of college and way to early in my opinion. I found myself judging these people for all the wrong reasons. I think that if and when you know, you just know! Everyone is different, and has developed different thoughts on life and relationships. I too have a friend who just got married in June and he's 23 years old. Just make sure that she's the right person for you, and that you have a whole lot of things in common. Why? Because when shit hits the fan, and it probably will.... many times, you will always have that common ground to come back to from your arguments and reconcile. Logically, the more common ground you have, the easier it will be to smooth things out. By common ground I mean anything from: life attitudes, career aspirations, likes/dislikes, background, family relationships, family values etc. I'm sure you get the picture and can think of even more of these examples.
Great post Eddie, spurred some real discussion on here, Congratulations on the 8 Years!
From what people tell me,
From what people tell me, marriage is one of the scariest, riskiest things you'll ever do. Yes, you could end up losing a lot, but you could also gain a lot. It isn't really the kind of thing you can quantify, just like you can't really quantify the "goodwill" section of a balance sheet. That being said, people need to be very careful, not casual, about whom they choose to marry.
By the way, just as a disclaimer: the Catholic Church does not teach that marriage is exclusively for making babies. If you think about it, that's another opportunity for the couple to bond even closer--having kids does that to people. You have to give up your old, selfish self and step up to the plate. It takes real cojones.
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married at 26 and I agree to
married at 26 and I agree to wait.... as long as you can... haha
WSO Conf - June 29, 2013
Wait until you're at least
Wait until you're at least 25, also live with the person for at least 6 months before you get engaged, because if you don't live together first you won't get a feel for what it's going to be like.
Clarkey wrote: First off,
First off, congratulations on your anniversary.
I have to admit that the stability is nice.
However, how can you claim to enjoy stability when everything you own, and everything you will own, is on the line? When you married your wife you gave up everything. For what? So you can wear a fucking ring?
Marriage, from a male perspective, brings with it a horrific rick to reward ratio. There is minimal gain.
Marriage was a ploy developed by women. Men do not gain form marriage - everything they can get from it they can easily get without getting married. It's a poor rate of return.
My girlfriend has been in my ear constantly about whether or not I think I'll ever marry her. I told her no.
You realize that not everything is based on monetary values, right? If you view every woman out there as trying to get their paws on whatever assets you have or think you're going to have one day, you're looking forward to a pretty lonely life.
I was in the anti-marriage camp for a long time, and if I didn't want to have kids I don't know that I would get married. In the end it came down to a) wanting to have kids and b) knowing that getting married would make my girlfriend immensely more happy than any feeling of self-justification I might gain from trying to remain unmarried and in a long-term relationship.
Marriage is dead because men
Marriage is dead because men are not men anymore, bunch of fucking pussified males with a blackberry, skinny jeans, non-fat latte, getting manicure and shit.
Marriage is dead because some wimps somehow bought the idea that man = woman. It is not. Man's a man and woman's a woman. its apples and oranges. Sure, both are a variety of fruit, still diff as it gets. When you're acting/behaving/living like her, shes confused.
its a wrong question on wrong
rjroberts1 wrote: Clarkey
Edmundo Braverman wrote: In
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econ wrote: Edmundo
Edmundo Braverman wrote: You
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Clarkey wrote: First off,
More is good, all is better
Yes. Marriage is useless.
Argonaut wrote: From what I
Edmundo Braverman
Clarkey wrote: No. I can have
More is good, all is better
I think marriage is extremely
Trade4Life wrote: How would
Edmundo Braverman
More is good, all is better
Anyone who thinks escort
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“The American father is never seen in London. He passes his life entirely in Wall Street and communicates with his family once a month by means of a telegram in cipher.” - Oscar Wilde
veritas14 wrote: Anyone who
Trade4Life wrote: Yes.
Clarkey wrote: First off,
Hi, Eric Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet you.
Social evolution of marriage
Would love to see the
I feel as though I must chime
veritas14 wrote: Anyone who
Otter. wrote: Clarkey
From many a girl's
Clarkey wrote: Otter.
We find our greatest selves
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“The American father is never seen in London. He passes his life entirely in Wall Street and communicates with his family once a month by means of a telegram in cipher.” - Oscar Wilde
I guess no one is interested
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I thought marriage was to get
Anonymous1 wrote: I guess no
This thread has exploded with
- Capt K -
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In 1976, James Hunt broke the sound barrier through Eau Rouge only to retire before the event finished... following the race he had sex with three Belgian nurses at the clubhouse near La Source.
BabyBeluga wrote: I feel as
aspiringbankerchick
James Hunt wrote: Here's a
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“The American father is never seen in London. He passes his life entirely in Wall Street and communicates with his family once a month by means of a telegram in cipher.” - Oscar Wilde
veritas14 wrote: James Hunt