Best life lessons I've learned this year
I’m gonna share some life lessons I’ve learned this year and I invite you to do the same on comment section. Here goes my key takeaways.
- Take control of your interpretation of facts.
When shit hits the fan (and eventually it will happen, trust me), the biggest component of your stress is not the fact itself, but your interpretation of what happened. Try to see positive side of things. It might sound cheesy, but it’s a lot better than getting into a negative loop that might lead to depression and shit like that. You’ve got fired? Here’s the opportunity to find a better job. Your girlfriend broke up? Use it as a motivation to work on yourself. Your parents passed away? Here’s an opportunity to learn the value of time.
I’ve been in a tough road this year and the only reason I am not in a depression right now is because I’ve taken control of my interpretation of facts.
- Don’t manage time, manage attention.
My productivity boosted 100% when I started managing my attention. If you’re like me, you probably lose a lot of time just to get focused. If I’m working on a task and I stop just to read an e-mail, it might take 5 to 10 minutes to get the fully focused on the task again.
Manage your attention. Train yourself to be focused for a longer period. Stop multitasking.
- You need mentors. Get fucking mentors.
We’ve all heard that Jihm Rohm quote “You're The Average of the Five People You Spend The Most Time With”. I don’t know if this is true, but I’m sure you’re on a better pathway if you spend time with people that are in a position you would like to be in 3, 5, 10 years from now.
Find mentors. A lot successful folks are willing to help a young, motivated and dumb dude like you (and me). Now you might be asking: how the fuck do I find mentors? Well, I’ll make another topic on this…
- Stop trying to be good at everything
I’ve been playing classical guitar for 15 years. Now I’m in a position that if I want 1% of improvement, it will take hundreds hours of practice and this is the reason I’ve lost my passion for music in the last 3 years.
I am a very driven men and I’m sure most of you are too. We always want to improve and we become extremely frustrated if we don’t. However, at some things you gotta learn to stop wanting to get better and just enjoy the activity. I had to accept that I’ll never be the musician that I would like to be, and this is fine.
We can be good at one or two things, and that’s it. Set your priorities and don’t tell yourself you’ll reach your goals in all areas in life, because it will only make you frustrated. A good book to read about this is “The One Thing” by Gary Keller.
I think that’s it. And you, what lessons you’ve learned this year?
Does the use of 'fucking' make this article better? No, my dear Watson, quite the opposite.
Reminds me of 2am chili ice soap
Holy shit dude... flashback to Reddit like 5 years ago
You misunderstand. He's saying you're bad in bed and need to get a sex coach
How old are you
I'm 22 years old.
Most of you might figured this things already, but I decided to share anyway.
Don't trust blindly. If you trust people you will get hurt in future definitely...
Good Lesson learned (for prospective monkeys) (Originally Posted: 02/08/2013)
Hello,
So I usually try to avoid giving out serious advice due to my complete lack of overall experience or knowledge of the finer points of finance or the industry. Yet today I learned a valuable lesson of persistence, which I think is something that many can at least consider (if not learn from).
I recently applied to a small MM investment bank through their website in a resume drop; not for any specific opening. I was soon emailed back by a HR rep telling me that I should consider a position opening up soon for a credit analyst position in NYC (near where I am). I jumped on the chance, as I had not yet received any significant positive feedback from anyone. I kept in contact with HR and felt very confident to get an interview due to my experience and the feedback from HR.
Two weeks pass and I email the HR rep, only to receive the devastating news that I was not going to have an interview. Now at this point I was very dejected and demoralized; this position fit my resume almost to the T, and yet I had nothing to show for my efforts.
I emailed the HR rep back asking to speak with her over the phone about what aspects of my candidacy did not fit the position. She obliged, and kindly set up a call with me. As I went over my resume with her over the phone she stated that the position was in DC, and that the local applicants were more desirable due to their geographical location. Now I was confused and told her that was not the position I had originally applied for. After some discussion about this error, I realized that HR had made a mistake and had been considering me for the more immediate position! They told me that they were actually very interested in my candidacy for the credit research role and we proceeded to have a preliminary interview.
While I am still hoping to be invited to a real interview, the recruiter gave me a strong perception of their intent of having me for an interview and seemed extremely interested in me. Long story short, HR makes mistakes and things get missed in the thousands of applications online. Sometimes persistence does payoff.
Hope these are some encouraging words for someone out there.
Regards
Good job. Crush the interview if you get it.
Thanks, hope it all goes well. Being nontarget makes life very tough sometimes.
Wow, nice. Gluck with your interview.
This is extremely helpful, thank you
Crush the HR rep too. #baylife
Nicely done. Way to play heads up ball.
A big lesson to learn in the job interview process is that you should always assume HR is incompetent. You should ALWAYS be very respectful and polite to them though, as they can help/hurt your chances significantly early on in the game.
Definitely true; have to handle with care. Also I think I may have gotten a little lucky with an HR rep that was willing to discuss my short comings after the fact that they thought I'd been dismissed. But I think at any company where you have a direct contact in HR, you can most of the time be able to sweet talk your way into speaking with them about your qualifications. Even if they haven't made a mistake, I think it can be very insightful.
During the recruitment process somebody from our HR asked me if I was studying for the...ahh..dangit, what's it called. It's like the CPA, except for Finance?
Nicely done! Thanks for sharing. Good luck!
Nice! Now go crush that interview.
@ghandi: most likely. She asked if I'd like to speak with her further after we cleared up the former mistake (pretty much interviewed me for fit stuff, told me about the team, what they do.) I haven't received an official invite into their offices yet, however the feedback that she gave me seemed very indicative of their future determinations. Seemed like they will invite me in for a second round, however I can't get too far ahead of myself.
Also, thanks for the all around moral support.
Life Lessons (Originally Posted: 04/23/2013)
Hey guys,
So I'm finally twenty, and I feel like I've come a long way since slipping out of the birth canal and whatnot. Over time, I've learned several crucial things about humanity that... well, that I hope to impart to my son, someday. I think that I've managed to accomplish a good deal of things: I have a good set of friends, I'm in a semi target, I have a good relationship with my family and am in good health. While I don't have a summer internship just quite yet, I'm positive that I'll find something. And hey, even if I don't, I'll just hit up the beach and work on my novel.
Here are some of the most important things I've learned over the course of living on this earth:
This is something I find that that all to many people realize, and almost everyone espouses, but no one actually reacts to. I'm not saying that everyone is bad- in fact, there's a decent number of people in the world who care about the greater good and helping others. However, being exposed to the world of finance has shown me that people are largely out for themselves, and only a fool would by default assume that people are fundamentally good. I have always maintained that one should assume other people are morally weak- that way, you only have to rely on yourself; and if they do happen to have integrity and a moral code, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Yes, I know, it's cliche- history repeats itself. But I didn't really realize what this meant until I had lived a little. I primarily see this manifesting itself in art, but also in terms of economics and political thought. Would you believe that once upon a time, Keynesian economics actually used to be the shit? And then the 70s and 80s hit, and Hayek became a thing, thanks to Reagan and Thatcher. THEN once the crisis hit, we ran back to Keynesian economics
The same goes for politics. People have been grappling with the ideas that natural law and human nature have given rise to. Ideas behind federalism and libertarianism and security... the debate happened a long, long time ago, and is still going on. We haven't gotten anywhere either! I think it really just goes to show that we're destined to swing back and forth between ideologies, and so maybe it doesn't matter so much if we're democrats or republicans
This mostly applies for those of you who are younger, or who don't see the acquisition of money as your sole purpose in this life (wallstreetoasis is kind of a bad place to write this sort of thing). Most people, if they're thoughtful and open minded, really don't know what they want from life. We might have an idea on how to get to a certain place, but we're never really sure on where to go. Remember when you were younger, how it seemed like older people were these complete, self actualized beings because they had figured out what they were doing? The reality is we never figure out what we're doing- we just accept what we get and deal with it. People plan much less of their life than you might think.
Oh, and in regards to women, women have absolutely NO fucking idea what they want from life. I don't really know how to deal with this, and I don't think any man truly does. But know this: women change their fucking minds all the time, so don't take shit as a given. Like, ever.
Since you are all seasoned veterans and many of you have many years of experience over me, I was wondering if there were any pieces of advice that you feel I should someday impart to my son. Maybe some things that you'd like to teach your future children?
Please share
If you are so smart, how come you lost the elections, eh?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I don't really have any input on number 2 and 3 since I haven't thought about those things, but I definitely do not agree with you on number 1. I believe and have learned from experience that most people are fundamentally good although we seldom believe it initially.
I think a large part of the explanation for our negative view stems from negativity bias (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negativity_bias). It's easier to believe that people are bad because we tend to emphasize and focus on negative things rather than on positive things (see the McDonald's example in the wiki article). Negative news have higher "news value" than positive news for mainstream media and thus they almost exclusively report about bad things that happens.
You say you have a good set of friends, which is excellent, but fortunately you're not alone having great friends. Hundreds of millions of other Americans (/Europeans/Asians etc) have caring and decent friends, spouses, fathers etc. Why would these people, just because you don't know them, on average be any worse than your friends and relatives?
It's true that people tend to care about themselves first, but just because someone doesn't do things "for the greater good" doesn't mean they are fundamentally bad. Egoism becomes a problem when you choose to not play by the rules and when your success is not achieved through your own effort, but of you taking advantage of someone else in a way that is defined as illegal, e.g. robbing someone. I think that as long as people play by the rules, one should be careful about labelling people "bad" just because they don't define good in the same way as oneself.
I completely agree with you Kejsaren, on your last paragraph. As long as you play by the rules it is all right. But how often does that happen seriously?
Come back in 5 years and read your post. I fundamentally disagree with #1, #2 whatever/don't care and #3 I agree with except for the whole being sexist part.
Cruncharoo speaks for me. Seriously, though, if you did come back in 5 years and read your post you'd wish you could delete it. Don't worry, it's part of the development process. A lot of us were there once.
Stopped reading after "So I'm finally twenty"
You lost me at..... "So I'm finally twenty"
Women are meant to be loved not understood, so start fuing their aes instead of their brains.
truth
and to those of you telling me that you have no interest in my opinion since I'm 20, I'd really welcome what you think about life and such, since you're all so obviously very wise
When I woke up this morning, I was hoping I could find the answers to the big questions in life from a 20 year old on WSO. Who says miracles don't happen?
xoxo
You are twenty, you can't even drink alcohol legally, you definitely have not learned things about humanity.
Pray tell, what age do I have to reach before I can learn things about humanity? 21? 22? 25? 30?
Life is different for everyone , and no life is the same. Just because you didn't know anything about humanity by the age of 20 doesn't mean I don't
The biggest thing I have learned:
LIFE GOES ON
“It must be wonderful to be seventeen, and to know everything.” ― Arthur C. Clarke, 2010: Odyssey Two
“Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.” ― Bob Seger
xoxo
LOL Its been a slow day so thank you very much Mitt Romney for the laugh.
I am eagerly awaiting your next thread "How to start a hedge fund" with the first sentence being "So I've never actually started a hedge fund but here is what I think it would be like."
When you're my age (35-40), you'll think you were a dipshit when you were 20. Think of how you think of yourself when you were 12 years old at your age and you'll have a sense of what I mean.
I'm 20 as well. You know how I know that your naivety is greater than mine? I know enough to realize that I don't have close to the experience in life to make these sort of claims about life and human behavior. At this age, we feel like we know what life is about and what is important. We don't listen when people older than us give us advice because we think that we know better than them.
I'll give you some good advice. Assume you know NOTHING. Listen to the things that older people tell you are important because no matter how smart you are, they have been here longer and know much more of what life is about than you do.
Yea, listen, but don't take it as fact. A lot of successful older guys say things like, "I wish I'd done xyz." What they really mean is they're glad they did what they did and have the security they have, but they wish they could have done xyz, too. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.
Also, lots of unsuccessful people talk about the things they could have done but how they got screwed by something or other. They're probably omitting how they fucked up, so consider that.
hahaha how do you know my naivety is greater than yours when you're assuming you know nothing?
Thanks for sharing. Great read!
A LESSON TO EVERYONE (Originally Posted: 10/22/2006)
Forum,
I'm starting my first day tomorrow at a 'top-tier' private equity house (i.e. BC, KKR, Blackstone, Carlyle etc..) in NY.
I don't have any fancy credentials (graduated from UC San Diego GPA 3.5), didn't play in any sports teams and wasn't a 'stud' on campus (i.e. leader of any societies etc..).
I did two years investment banking, NOT at a BB, but at a '2nd-tier' house which has marginal M&A presence in the US (even though they've invested heavily in the past couple of years in line with their strategy of building up the franchise in the U.S.) - closed around 3 deals (in 2 years!), all in the $500m range.
If I had listened to various posters on this forum, I would need to be the blue-eyed baller from an Ivy-league with BB experience to be even considered for the PE firm I'm due to start at.
Thankfully, I didn't, but I trusted my own instinct and had confidence in my ability (true, I won't match some of you hot-shots out there). Luck played a part, but I approached each interview as an exam (preparing intensively for 6-7hrs a day, familiarising myself with LBO's, super-advanced modelling etc..) - most importantly, I was myself.
Anyone can get in (as I have proven) but all it demands is some commitment and hard-nosed ball-breaking preparation, which many don't appreciate.
There's hope yet for the rest of us!
blablabla
your profile says you are a second year at university of reading with 3.3 GPA...
care to defend why's that?
not that what you are describing is inherently impossible, but this public PE fantasizing is pretty pathetic...
true that son, true that. Most people on these forums say what you have said, whatever, anything is possible. If you let these people convince you that your not good enough, then too bad for you, maybe you should apply somewhere else.
Good work getting the job and good luck with it.
Great story.
all i have to say
You tell em.
what 2nd tier shops can you recommend?
WORD!
Congrats!
What exactly do you mean by "super advanced modelling"?
Very inspiring story.. If I can ask, how did you get the interview at your PE firm?
Royal Oak, I 100% agree with you, personally I got less than credit average. No M&A experience, and got into IB!
like you said I prepared 5 hours for each intervirew, thought through the personalities, the curve balls and anticipated every action in the interview.
IB just wants smart people, and the IVY league is just a stereo type where smart people can be found. That doesn't mean that there is no smart people other than ivy leagues.
I did badly in uni, didn't do sports but i spend most of my 3 years in college doing internation business and importing goods. now how do Ivys compare to that.
Its onething to do tests and write essays... but like Donald Trump says, its the real world that you have to be good at. And he was a success not because of his Warton MBA, but because he is such a good business man.
was it hard to get the interviews?
Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations! It's very nice to receive input from people like you! :)
but it's wharton undergrad, not mba
Triton Pride!!
...Impossible is Nothing
Congrats
Your achievement bucks the trend, I guess. But a trend is a trend. Anyway, i don't want to detract from your achievement... so congrats once again.
Totally agree, a trend is a trend and today, looking through the directory, everyone is a Ivy League/Oxford/Cambridge/LSE alum...
To be fair (and to answer another poster) - how did I get the interviews?...a recruiter who believed in my abilities and was willing to put my resume in front of the PE hotshots. These guys are like golddust...
One warning to all who come into a top-shop PE house, the Excel modelling is INTENSE...more intense than anything you've ever seen in IB.
Today, I was at my desk for less than 30mins, when a Principal came over, introduced himself and then asked me to re-engineer a 90MB model in my lap, hell, I didn't even think you could get 90MB models...its been 13 hours since, I'm still here, its gonna be a late one, but alas, better here than there...
Did they give you a modeling test during your interviews?
Yes, an intensive 3hr test, basically a full-on LBO, with complete sensitivities needing to be run.
If you have semi-advanced excel skills, have LOTS of experience modelling and most importantly, STAY CALM UNDER PRESSURE, you should be fine!
In many ways, that's the hardest part. Once I passed, I had 4 more rounds of interviews, culminating in the 'big' one with the most senior partners...
Just tossing it out there...
There's something about your story that intuitively doesn't sound legit to me:
If today is indeed your first day, how could U have already put in 13 hours? Not impossible, just suspect on that one...
Also, first days anywhere are rarely ever intense. Most 1st days at any new position are spent doing administrative paperwork, taking security pics, IT, introduction to team members, lunch etc. Even a CEO is subject to the same routine...
A principal, even in the most aggressive, die hard IB or PE shop would never toss you an insane model, even if you DID work 2 years prior at an IB.
This just doesn't jive... I'm the cynic.
One more thing...
If you are at a top tier PE house the likes of KKR, Blackstone etc. why would you RISK your first day getting distracting on the forum?
My yahoo email, the forum and all other "external" distractions would not be on my mind on my first day at such a distinguished new position!!
Although I'm contracted to xxx in NY, I'm currently in the London office.
My IT systems/admin issues were sorted before I joined (when I was on gardening leave) - lunch at a top-tier PE house? hell no dude, they've got 2 major billion-dollar transactions in execution phase at the moment, you got better chance of seeing tupac alive.
I was not 'tossed' a model - he asked me if I would like to have a go, I said yes (what the hell else could I say?)
Cynicysm is good, but I don't speak jive...
Nope, still doesn't jive with me.
I would not have time for the forum on my 1st day. (No offense folks)
That's just me - I'm of the character to go underground for a bit as I start a new position.
:-(
the word you are looking for is "jibe," u stupid bitch
guys, royal oak is an impostor.
now he's changed his profile and quietly deleted the university of reading information :-)
com'on, humor him, flatter him, ask questions...
Guess he pulled a dan bush.
maybe he is dan bush
Hey guys,
I just got a job as a Managing Director, M&A, Goldman Sachs with no experience, good grades or contacts. Today is my first day and I just made half a million. Thats a lesson for all of you!
gs has no muthafukin m&a group
I've dealt with some fairly data intensive spreadsheets before of around 25mb, but 90mb? I can't see a model being 90mb. I looked at a MS model just now that was 20 tabs, loaded with data and is dynamically generated with VBA. 5mb. If you have that much more data you should be using a relational database.
I call BS.
I was a product control intern at LEH in London. The Total P&L file controllers use daily is about 150mb, so it's possible to have massive spreadsheets.
what kind of data goes into those huge spread sheets?
this particular spreadsheet contained data from all the trader's books (the ones that we were responsible for) for the fiscal year, and it was updated daily. I remember one of the sheets (out of way too many): the number of columns was constant, but the number of rows was up to something like 50000 when I left. I had never seen anything like that!
WOW. Even I call bullshit. You kids...
P&L is just loaded with pages and pages of crap, if you had decent formatting that takes it over 50mb easy, so I believe the 150mb, but then the computer will crash almost every 3 hours if you had a spreadsheet that size open.
I always deal with excel over 40mb, but if you learn to use clever links, good vlookups and avoid pivot tables and big charts, you can get it down to 25mb no problem.
maybe his 90mb file had tonnes of macros with VB scripts......
It did crash that often if we ran the wrong stuff while total P&L was opened! :D
Our VP had IT guys constantly checking the " efficiency" of the spreadsheet, it simply had to be that large (altough I agree with you, it's full of crap data). The Excel and VB coding were described to me as cutting edge.
I'm in a kinda similar position as Royal Oak, I've just secured a position as a 1st yr analyst in a BB. I'm from a non-target school in UK but managed to get an interview through some connections.
I am currently getting my MBA and have no finance experience. I realize it will be tough to break into IB, but it is good to hear a story of hard work paying off.
I'm bumping this 4 year old thread because all of you guys who didn't get that TMT gig at Goldman and think your life is over....you need to read this.
Actually, this guy was a troll. He was the same one who started the thread about losing his job after lying about GPA.
He went from a UK undergrad to a UCSD student - number of other inconsistencies.
gupta23 I think that's the point, he is being sarcastic.
Haha, the guy just straight-up disappeared once people started calling him out...
This is great to hear.. you deserve every bit of your success!
Would also like to point out that even if this were true, it was in 2006 (aka: "The good 'ole days").
Lol yep, no bucking of the trend these days. And who knows if he is a troll, they sure hopped his bone like he was
Bernanke's top 10 life lessons (Originally Posted: 06/03/2013)
Bernanke shares his wisdom to Princeton graduates.
would you mind posting the 10 lessons for us? bernanke is just boring (and i'm feeling extremely lazy).
I agree. Here goes
1) Call your parents once in a while. A time will come when your children are hypersuccessful and you want them to call you. They are also the ones who pay your tuition
2) I can't imagine any choice more consequential for a lifelong journey than the choice of a traveling companion. (Get married).
3) Nobody likes to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning.
4) A decision based only on money and not on love on the work is a recipe for unhappiness.
5) Economics is a highly sophisticated field of thought that is superb in explaining to policymakers precisely why the choices they made in the past were wrong. About the future, not so much.
6) Public service isn't easy, but if you are inclined in that direction it is a worthy and challenging pursuit.
7) People who have say, little formal schooling, but labor honestly and diligently to help feed, grow and educate their families are deserving of greater respect and help if necessary than people who are superficially more successful.
8) To whom much has been entrusted much will be demanded.
9) To whom much has been given, much will be required.
10) Life is unpredictable. Anyone who thinks they know where they will be in ten years is lacking imagination.
Things I've learned in life thus far: Success/life wisdom maxims. (Originally Posted: 12/26/2017)
Deleted ..........................................................................................
Hi TheROI, any of these topics helpful:
Who will rescue this thread? Hugh Myron WSO1212 TheDukeofLizards
I hope those threads give you a bit more insight.
I only make things worse.
do you mean 20 years of career or of life? i suspect it's the latter and i suspect you and your maxims should take a hike
GMAFB dude, you're 20. You haven't learned anything yet.
This place sometimes...
.
Sales is about closing. Always Be Closing.
Huh?
Complaining is one of the most valuable tools businesses have to re-align consumer demands with the changing market conditions.Research has shown that arguing is an important part of successful business/project development. In the initial stages, when the team is discussing the future outcome of a project, it is important for all members to voice their ideas and make an active argument for their thoughts. In this manner, all voices will be heard before the commencement of the project. Even if total votes, or a decision by the team lead turns down their argument or request, the stage of arguing is an important one for the continued success of the team. Without this stage in the initial development of a project, certain employees may exhibit backlash or lack of interest to the project at hand.
Also, in general, arguing is a fantastic tool in life to not only solidify your own points, but enable others to question their own ideas. All in good taste, my lad.
Cheers.
Just realised I like reading your comments
You mentioned sales twice. Other than a possible internship or summer gig, have you even had a job in sales before?
.
.
Why do anonymous posters erase their posts? Like, we already don't know who the person is at all, and now we don't know an unknown persons posts? lol
Life Lessons from a Game of Pickup Basketball (Originally Posted: 01/29/2014)
Some years ago I was playing pickup basketball regularly at a local gym. It was pretty competitive; the regulars included high school stars and college players, of which I was neither. I was good enough to run with them, but it was an exclusive group and most weren’t so lucky.
One day during the holidays we didn’t have enough players; we preferred full court five on five, so we were forced to let some walk-ins run with us. I’ll never forget two of the players that ran with us that day because seeing them walk into the gym taught me valuable lessons about first impressions.
The Impressions
Subject 1 was tall and muscular with big hands and long arms; he was an imposing bundle of explosive, fast-twitch athleticism. He was handsome, outgoing, well-spoken, and seemed to have the right mix of confidence and humility. He had all the latest gear; brand new Nike shoes and shorts, an arm sleeve, and a leg sleeve with a padded knee. We assumed right away he’d run with us as a regular rotation guy.
We almost didn’t let subject 2 run. He looked like a scruffy pre-teen. At about 5’8’ he was average height, but he was skinny and he there was no indication of any latent athleticism. He had severe acne and a poor haircut; busted shoes; and old, dirty gym clothes, all of which is only worth mentioning because of the stark contrast with Subject 1. Furthermore, he was quiet and aloof, though to his credit he seemed focused. We ended up letting him run because we needed ten players.
The Reality
We shot free throws to determine teams and started to play. Subject 1 was easily as athletic as anyone we played with, but something just didn’t click for him. His shot was broken; but he couldn’t finish at the rim; and he had no handles, causing him to turn the ball over repeatedly. He goes by “My Bad” now, because he must have said it fifty times that first game. Subject 2 on the other hand… I drew the short straw that day because it was my job to guard him. He made a fool out of me and my entire team every single play. He could shoot 3’s at NBA range and rarely missed; when we tried to guard him tight he had a crossover so low and tight it would have made Allen Iverson proud. When we doubled he split the defense or handed it off for an easy assist. His defense was equally impressive. He had remarkable timing and instinct and yet I distinctly remember the feeling of smug confidence before the ball was checked. I remember specifically thinking “I’m going to embarrass this kid” only moments before he scored the first of his many points that day.
The Lesson
That day I learned that first impressions are more complicated than appearance and demeanor. I learned that prejudice can prevent you from recognizing value or detecting a flop. That day I deceived myself into believing I knew which newcomer was the better basketball player. Luckily, the stakes were low and the nature of the game ensured that I’d have many chances to make up for my mistake. In the real world, stakes are much higher and failing to properly assess someone or something can have much greater implications.
In a way, I was long on Subject 1 and short on Subject 2, and I lost my investment in both. And while we spend time running models and doing due diligence to identify undervalued investments, we often don’t extend the same care with people, which, in business and our personal lives, can be a mistake we don’t get a chance to rectify.
Nice post. Are you sure subject 2 wasn't my friend? He's pretty short and just amazing at basketball. Made a fool out of all the inner city guys we used to play with back in college. I, on the other hand, dribble as if I have a football in my hand.
As a long-time basketball player, I loved the post. Good job.
I'm pretty much subject #1, i play a lot, have all the new gear, but I suck.
The fact that subject 1 had an arm sleeve and a leg sleeve should have told you that the guy was terrible. No legitimate player really wears that stuff unless you're 50 years old and actually need "gear" or you're overcompensating for your lack of game lol
The funny thing is that I had written exactly this but decided to erase it since it was kind of beside the point. I totally agree for the most part. To be fair to Subject 1, this was before arm and leg sleeves were just an annoying fashion statement made by the kids whose parents could afford them. Also, I wore a padded elbow sleeve on my shooting arm for a while because of some tendinitis that would flair up when I overextended my elbow shooting 20+ foot shots. The pad prevented the elbow from overextending and had the added benefit of helping me learn better form.
But overall, you're absolutely right. Should have been the first warning sign, of which there were very few.
Truth. What a tool.
Wait, are you Ron Shelton or did this really happen? Did the guy have a rock handle like Van Exel? For every anomaly or example of "don't judge a book by its cover" there are 10 examples of your first instinct/impression being spot on but I do think your story provides a valuable lesson.
Hahahaha, he hit you with the Okie doke. I've seen it happen quite a few times. The tell tell sign is the aloofness, he doesn't care to cater to your initial judgement cause he wants you to think he's garbage. It makes it that much sweeter when he balls you up.
Totally. The funny thing is, that's my game too so I should have recognized it. I always have the latest shoes because I'm addicted to Nike, but other than that I don't look like I can ball. It's how I got to run with the group in the first place.
Also, don't judge from ppl's free throws.
Great post, thanks. Definitely reminds me of this ...
//www.youtube.com/embed/0gWxHFMog9w?rel=0
Great vid. While we're on basketball, might as well bring back Uncle Drew.
//www.youtube.com/embed/8DnKOc6FISU?rel=0
Damn you! I was going post this. This video is so accurate when it comes to pick-up games.
Great story! Now, just need everyone else to have that same epiphany.
As a long time b-ball player, this is a great story. In general, I think there are SOOOOO many parallels between basketball and life (not just in finance). I mean, I talked about this parallel in my undergrad on campus interviews, in my MBA essays, and MBA interviews because I truly believe it. I also think kids that grow up playing b-ball, on average, tend to be better in group work situations. I'll leave it at that for now, otherwise I'll get too carried away and end up posting my grad school essays.
As important of a lesson as this might be, I'm quite surprised it took so long for you to figure it out. You see this with money all the time. There is usually a good chance that the person driving the sports car and living in the huge house is leveraged to their teeth. You also see all these high school/university students who believe that True Religion, LV, and other brands give off the perception of wealth and success. Chances are that they work a part-time job and closely monitor the balance in their account.
P.S. I really don't like your use of the word 'run.' It gives off the perception that you think you're too good for us lowly basketball noobs.
First of all, congrats on your first WSO post. 3 other things:
I assure you I did not live 20 years of life without knowing these things, although sometimes it takes the right time, place, and circumstances for something to really click. Also, it sounds better to say "that day I learned..." than "that day I came up with a good anecdote to explain something that I had always known".
Sidetracking: True Religion has to be the gaudiest, most atrocious brand of denim ever. Two words: Guy Fieri.
You gotta write what you know. "Run" is just what we say, and I think it's pretty common. However, I really didn't mean for it to sound exclusive or superior. Especially since, while I've very confident in my ball skills, we most likely have some ex-NCAA basketball players on these boards who would wipe the floor with me worse than Subject 2 did.
Let me be among the first to say welcome to WSO, however, and I hope it helps you as much as it has me. Hopefully you won't feel so patronized with my next post :).
+1 SBed. Def watched this situation play out many times myself. Still remember one of the guys at my local 24 hour fitness that everyone thought was a joke first time they played with him. Literally about 5'3" skinny white kid. But he could hit any shot within 35 ft of the basket and had the quickest release I've ever seen.
More basketball posts. They don't even have to teach a valuable life lesson :)
You asked for it, you'll get it! I love writing basketball.
I only clicked because I thought this was about picking up girls.
RIP Sandy Lyle
//www.youtube.com/embed/3xuoIjxQ_bU
Day 6: 10 Important Life Lessons (Originally Posted: 07/24/2012)
Andy note: Human is away this week, so he asked me to syndicate this helpful post from his blog thesummereffects.wordpress.com
My name is Summer. I am the eldest son in a family of five with one sister and then one brother. I came from a traditional big extended family (300+) in a beautiful Southeast Asian country known as Burma (Myanmar). As a fourth generation Chinese in Burma, I have always been very interested in being an entrepreneur building successful business at a young age. My parents have managed several successful businesses and it has greatly influenced on what I wanted as a career: independence, creativity, entrepreneurship and most importantly taking risks in life.
My father is the eldest son in his family and being his eldest son, I always know that I am being put on spotlight. While growing up, everyone in the family expect a lot from me. I can always feel it even if I tried to ignore it. Nevertheless, I used that pressure as motivation to push myself harder in life.
There were several important milestones in my life that have had huge impacts on me:
1. Getting into the Top High School – persistence always pay dividends. I got into the best high school in the country. It was a private international school that followed US Education system and everything was taught in English. Having been in public school system (where the classes were taught in Burmese, the official language of Myanmar, and English was only taken as an elective), I had to overcome a huge language barrier and a steep learning curve. I eventually succeeded there. It wasn’t my intelligence but my persistence – I put in longer hours than most of my classmates.
2. Moving to US for College – stepping outside your comfort zone is sometimes, the only way to improve in life. The main challenge has been working hard to be successful while living by myself. Imagine you have lived in your native country for your entire life. Then you have to move somewhere, without your parents, living alone, a place where it snows 9 months in a year, and settling into a new environment. I have to quickly learn to adapt myself and take care of myself. It might sounds easier said than done. I grew a lot during the first two years.
3. Founding my first own Club – “a leader proactively determines where he wants to be and who he wants and needs to be; creates, communicates, and executes a plan to achieve a vision and goals that authentically supports his values.” The school has $30,000 fund, which Citigroup donated to the business school. The students wanted a real world experience in investing. I wanted to take a leadership role. I co-founded a club with several like-minded students. The most important thing was creating a corporate structure that rewards and enriches the members. People are motivated by their self-interests. Our business club was the most popular one on campus and today, that $30,000 grew close to $100,000. I am no longer with the club but what we created will remain a legacy and that’s something, which matters to me. I want to make a lasting impact. I want to create system that works timelessly.
4. Dating my First Girlfriend – every relationship is built upon two important foundations: honesty and loyalty. I learned a lot in my five years long relationship. The most important thing was assuming the best in everyone and keeping faith when time get tough. I wouldn’t have such a wonderful relationship without that. My first relationship has a strong impact on my view in relationship. I still keep reminding myself of the importance of those two qualities: honesty and loyalty. She got married a few years ago and we have kept in touch.
5. Getting My First Job at UBS – your job is to make your boss “look good”. I was hired at a bulge bracket wealth management group because the manager found me personable, driven and passionate. It wasn’t anything on the resume. I learned that how you present yourself is always more important than what is on the paper.
I also learned the importance of “net worth” (assets – liabilities). The clients with the largest net worth aren’t always the big shots: doctors, lawyers or bankers. They are modest people who worked hard, saved a lot and lived within their means. They usually have stable marriage, happy families and modest living standards. And they are usually very happy.
6. Quitting a Job for the first time – “wake up every morning and think of it as the last day in your life. Ask yourself, would you be doing what you are about to do today, if it were the last day of your life? If you get the answer “no” consecutively for a few weeks, then “quit and move on”.” (Steve Job, Apple) Without having another job lined up, I quit that job. I had this fear and uncertainty that came on top of me. What if I can’t find another job? What if this is the best thing I can get right now? Will I be good enough? Will I regret the decision I made today? In the end, I listened to my heart and quit that job. I am at a better place today right now because I took the courage to make that decision that day. I got a better paid job that also provided more career advancements, two months after quitting that job.
7. Getting to NYSSA Equity Research Team – you allow people to reject you when you reject yourself first. Over 300 people applied for 4 spots in the team. Most people have better resumes, higher GPA and more working experience than me. But I gave my best. I did more preparation than anyone else. And I clearly demonstrated that I really wanted to be there. I got on the team and was also the Team Captain for the group. My chances of being there? Less than 1%. I learned that as soon as you set on achieving something worth fighting for, don’t let the stats fool you into quitting. By the way, our report also came in top 5, against competitive schools like NYU, Columbia and Cornell. A little faith in yourself goes a long way.
8. Taking My First Class with a “Pick Up Artist” – focus on human dynamic, learn to have fun and never oversell yourself; confidence comes from within. Don’t try too hard. Make people earn your attention, energy and time. Trying too hard implies that you are needy, clingy and desperate. And it shows. You are out there to make new friends. And you always have a choice. Even if a girl liked you, you have “a choice” to accept or not. Most importantly, there is no such thing as “the one”. At least I don’t believe in that. Most relationship are built on similar core values, and a lot of hardworks and compromises. Don’t get stuck on one girl. There are many great girls that “work for you”. Focus on what makes you happy and not on “one particular person”. It’s cheesy but “there are many fish in the sea”. I am happily in a relationship after meeting over close to 60 women. I focused on what makes me happy and which girl is the best fit “for me”. And that piece of advice paid off a lot.
9. Losing 45 Pounds – delay instant gratification, focus on the big picture and never give up. There are a lot of times that I wanted to give up. There are a lot of times that I lost faith in myself. I had self-doubts and fears. Most importantly, I have to fight my temptations to stay away my goals. Then I realized that “fears are those frightful things when you take your eyes off from your goals”. You always need to know what you are doing, and why you are doing something. That will give you the courage; motivation and persistence that you need to succeed in any things in life. I am more long-term focused, persistent and dedicated through this life changing experience.
10. Forming my own NYC inner circle with great guy friends – what can I do for you? Focus on how you can enrich the lives of those around you. Be straightforward with people. Tell everyone the same thing. Real friendship cannot be built upon lies, distrusts and manipulation. You are not being at your best, when you talk badly about your friends behind them, when you are just using them, or when you are not being honest with them. Especially with same-sex friends, you have to treat them like your brothers. You have to think for them and have their best interests in everything you do. People can tell when you are being real with them. And when you give them enough time, and always assume the best in them, they will return the favor eventually. But it always starts with trusting people, opening up to them and giving first. And the most important thing is “quality is more important than quantity in making friends.” Sometimes we forget about that and try to please everyone and not focus on building meaningful bonds and establishing great relationships.
My Story: Part 1: My Pursuit of Happyness Part 2: My Pursuit of Happyness
See my previous posts in this series: Day 1: To Be A Better Man Day 2: Healthy Competition Among Mature Men Day 3: I HATE YOU Day 4: SWAG, Do You Have It?
Day 5: Word of Advice Day 6: 10 Important Life Lessons Day 7: Unofficial Guide to Banking & Dating Bonus: Previous Useful Posts
Beautiful post.
Thanks for your compliment.
Heh, great post - I was a little surprised to see the pick-up artist thing - but hey, glad it worked for you.
There is a correlation between success with women and success with career. I really learned a lot from David DeAngelo. Check out this free video on YouTube. The talk is on "Being a Man". Pretty impressive.
Great post brah
Awesome post, #10 is key
Great post! I think this is one of the better "list" posts in a long time
I agree on the PUA thing
this is great, thanks. Is Human the guy with the website designed to help guys meet girls? I remember seeing it mentioned a few months ago.
thanks for the post, human!
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