Monkey to Gentleman - Male Grooming
WARNING - This post may contain emasculating content and expose the author to ridicule
Yesterday was the start of a new month, which for me is my 'grooming' day. I'm sure most male monkeys here have a grooming routine; after all, we need to keep ourselves in tip-top condition. So, let us bare all, reveal our souls and describe what we do to look sharp.
I'm fully aware that some people view male grooming as "OMG GAY" or lacking self confidence but I disagree. Women take time to put on makeup, do their hair, get facials etc. so I don't see why men shouldn't take some time to put effort into their appearance as well.
For me it's a facial exfoliation followed by an ear clean with olive oil and then to finish up, plucking some unsightly nasal and eyebrow hairs. If you havn't done it before, be aware that plucking your nose hair is by far the most eye-watering thing you can do from the safety of your own bathroom.
I think doing my routine every day would be overkill, but I could perhaps increase it to every week.
So, for you like-minded monkeys wishing to make the change from ape to gentleman, what is YOUR male grooming routine? What is the worst part? !=break>






Comments
Asatar: Women take time to
Women take time to ... get facials
...
...
I believe in taking care of
I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.
After I remove the icepack, I use a deep pore-cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb mint facial masque which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.
I always use an after-shave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing "protective" lotion...
Rinse, and repeat.
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Putting in the obvious
Putting in the obvious response before everyone else does.
In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
Damn beat me to it
Damn beat me to it
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
only seconds too late...
only seconds too late...
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Son, let me give you a piece
Son, let me give you a piece of advice.....if you want to continue to work here, lay off the drugs.
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
I use lots of moisturizer for
I use lots of moisturizer for my face, b/c the shower dries it out, no homo, and also use it as after shave b/c it has no alcohol (no American Psycho reference intended). I fucking hate shaving with a passion and often cut myself but found the greatest blood stopper on the planet, works literally 2-3 seconds after you put it on, even on bad cuts, stings though - looks like a chalk stick, does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
I spend a good while on my hair when it gets long. Any other guys afraid of their hair starting to thin? Mine has slowly started and I'm mid 20's.
Also, I shove a cucumber in my pants on days I meet with HR chicks.
Ron Paul: looks like a chalk
looks like a chalk stick, does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Glycerine
Also, I shove a cucumber in my pants on days I meet with HR chicks.
Harold was in the South of France, and could not understand why Rich had attracted all the girls at the beach, while he had no luck.
So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"
Rich replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"
So Harold stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.
Harold went to see Rich again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"
Rich looked at Harold and said "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
UFOinsider: Ron Paul: looks
looks like a chalk stick, does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Glycerine
Also, I shove a cucumber in my pants on days I meet with HR chicks.
Harold was in the South of France, and could not understand why Rich had attracted all the girls at the beach, while he had no luck.
So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"
Rich replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"
So Harold stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.
Harold went to see Rich again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"
Rich looked at Harold and said "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"
that's great hahaha
Just saying...
UFOinsider: Ron Paul: looks
looks like a chalk stick, does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Glycerine
Also, I shove a cucumber in my pants on days I meet with HR chicks.
Harold was in the South of France, and could not understand why Rich had attracted all the girls at the beach, while he had no luck.
So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"
Rich replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"
So Harold stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.
Harold went to see Rich again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"
Rich looked at Harold and said "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"
+1 hahaha
stealing that
See my WSO Blog
Asatar: plucking some
plucking some unsightly nasal and eyebrow hairs.
Damn, how do you manage to pluck your nose hairs? I tried it once and decided I'd trim them instead. Any pro tips?
"Well make more fuckin' money. This is America. You don't make money, then you're a fuckin' douchebag." - Mr. French
Hair: don't just go for
Hair: don't just go for what's easy - you'll get respect for a nice-looking, well-styled head of hair. Girls love that shit. If you're style-retarded, let your hair grow out, then go to a stylist and have them design the right look for you. For a cheaper alternative, look at what kind of hair people with your facial structure tend to have.
Clothes: Fit. Fit. Fit. Get your stuff tailored. Go for simple looks over crazy patterns/colors. Look at the guys considered best-dressed: they don't wear anything particularly unique pattern/color-wise... instead, they get all the details and fit right.
Face: make sure you're moisturized and get rid of the acne, etc... you're not 15 anymore. If your facial hair grows in patchy, keep it clean-cut. If not, you can probably get away with a little scruff, particularly when you get out of banking.
Shoes: nothing box-toed. pay up for 2-3 pairs of nice shoes (1 pair each of black and brown, at minimum) and keep them clean and polished. I've found that girls pay a ton of attention to shoes... hopefully that's somewhat of an incentive to make you get your shit together.
Working out/nutrition: don't eat like a slob... no girl wants to imagine herself under you while your flab flops all over the place. You don't need a 6pack. Also, avoid the emaciated look... girls don't want to be able to overpower you. If you're somewhere in the middle, you're fine. Also, guys, get off the fucking treadmill and lift weights. You're not doing yourself any favors burning those 400 calories 2-3 days a week on your 30 minute run (you reverse all that with a single night of drinking). Also, you burn muscle along with fat. Lift so that (1) your workouts matter... even if your lack of discipline causes you to overeat, at least you've been creating muscle and you're not backtracking on progress and (2) your resting metabolism will be higher
See my WSO Blog
Dying's For
plucking some unsightly nasal and eyebrow hairs.
Damn, how do you manage to pluck your nose hairs? I tried it once and decided I'd trim them instead. Any pro tips?
Pair of tweezers works a treat. Grab hold and then you have a decision to make; do you go for the fast and clean pull or the slow extraction. Both hurt about the same amount and achieve the same effect. Personally I go for the slow extraction.
See my other WSO blog posts>
where do you draw the line
where do you draw the line between metro and well-groomed?
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Ron Paul: I fucking hate
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
- Ronald Reagan
Asatar: Dying's For
AndyLouis: where do you draw
RIP WSO Chat.
Haircut - once a month by a
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Febreeze: AndyLouis: where
historiclegend: Febreeze:
WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My story | Connect with me on Linkedin.
2013 WSO Conference
AndyLouis: I disagree - i
UFOinsider: Ron Paul: looks
AndyLouis: historiclegend:
Human: Haircut - once a month
Head and Shoulders and Irish
Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital
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historiclegend: Anything that
Turbo leverage for capital explosion -- BD Capital
My WSO Blog
SirPoopsaLot: historiclegen
Metro = more than 20 minutes
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
Only advice you
Shit, Shower, and Shave. In
BTbanker: I believe in taking
The Auto Show
"If you havn't done it
andres17: "If you havn't done
Human: Haircut - once a month
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer
You are right, never have
Reference:
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