Pretending To Be A Secret Agent: Life of a CRE Broker

"I'll take the bottom 20...you take the top."

"Got it."

"Hopefully they're listed like the last one. If not...if you have to go door to door...it can get tricky. Keep your phone on you and pretend to be talking on it if you have to."

"That's how I got the pictures last time," I said, mimicking taking a picture with my iPhone as I held it to my ear as a decoy. A mischievous grin spread across my VP's face, almost as if he missed doing this more often.

"I'll have to remember that one," he chuckled. Then, his face growing instantly more serious, he repeated his original warning. "Remember, if security questions you, mention a tenant's name and go to their floor. This is a class B building. Nothing bad's going to happen."

I considered, for a moment, the implication. After all, regardless of what our landlord claimed, our building was class B as well. Lucky for this tower, our thievery was not aimed at people or money but businesses instead. Still, the idea of a well-dressed terrorist or something of the sort was, and remains, incredibly off-putting.

Building security smiled as I strode past to the elevators with a purpose, fake-talking on my phone. My VP wouldn't be far behind.

I am, to this day, a huge fan of James Bond movies. Connery and Craig are unbelievably fun to watch and I even thought Brosnan was amazing, just cursed with garbage scripts after Goldeneye. Growing up, I always wanted to be a secret agent.

As an adult, much like I learned almost too late that being a lawyer is infinitely more boring than what you see on Law & Order, I realized that being a secret agent isn't a life of Aston Martins, knock out women, and perfectly tailored suits with a little bit of consequence-free shooting thrown in. Alas, I thought my dream was dead. Never did I realize that as a commercial real estate broker, all the pretending that I did as a child would pay off.

You see, in the office leasing world, it is difficult to find tenant rosters and where tenants really are. Of course you can look in the business times book of lists, the yellow pages, or google, but those are inefficient. Lexis can be great, but it isn't routinely updated. CoStar, perhaps the industry standard, and their recently-purchased subsidiary LoopNet, are considerably more useful, but it comes with a catch.

For CoStar to be effective, brokers need to send the company tenant data for deals they have done. However there is a terrific disincentive for any broker to do this, as the more information you provide, the easier it is for someone else to steal the tenant away. But if no one submitted anything, the system would break down, and there would be no data available. So, generally what happens is you get a half assed tenant roster for a building that may or may not be dependable or fully informative. You never know.

To fight this, brokers go out on foot, building to building, suite to suite, and build their own internal databases. There's no better confirmation of a company's location than seeing their name on the wall of a building as you exit the elevator, which I ever so suavely take a picture of with my cell phone to look up and cold call later. Or, if I have already called the prospect, I drop off a nice information packet at the front desk, smiling and shaking hands.

As I noted above, it is frighteningly easy to just walk into a building. Newer, nicer buildings don't allow this, and I'm sure bigger cities such as NYC are more strict overall, but class B and below often have outrageously lax security. Again, if I was a criminal, it would be awful, but lucky for them the only person I'm trying to get one over on is the landlord.

Sometimes, it gets more interesting. That's when the under-cover skills I've been cultivating since I was sneaking around in my backyard with my BB gun or sneaking up to scare my sister come into play.

Tenants themselves are far more observant than security, in my experience, and oftentimes you'll get incredibly strange looks getting off the elevator. Floors with single tenants are the worst and oftentimes the door opens to face the front desk directly. Being "on your phone" helps in this instance too as you can, with the legitimate look of mild shock and disappointment on your face, alternate looking at the list of buttons on the elevator and the person at the desk and play it off as going to the wrong floor. On multi-tenant floors, the aforementioned "pretend like I'm talking but really I'm taking a picture as I walk by" move is a classic when there is a list on the wall outside the elevator. Taking pictures as the doors open but not getting out of the elevator is a safety measure as well.

Whether it's cameras, an observant competing broker, or a security guard on a mission though, you will get caught. Bond could always pull out a gun, throw a few punches, or at least dramatically run away in this instance - however those would probably get you arrested in this case. Lying about why you're there or what you're doing is a far more productive move. Don't let them know you're a spy. If possible, a steady but determined pace to the exit is the best.

The worst possible situation is when the owner himself is there. Owners and landlords, like the supervillains Bond faced, have a distinct eye for spies and know all too well where the color-coated company folders come from. (Green is CBRE, Blue is Colliers, Red is Jones Lang LaSalle, Blue and Red is Cushman, Navy and White is HFF, etc.) However even then, as opposed to death, a solid tongue lashing is really the worst of your worries.

One time my managing director got a furious call from a landlord. The man was accusing me (he didn't know my name of course) of trespassing through his building uninvited, undoubtedly to steal his tenants.

"Good," my MD replied. "That means he's doing his job." Then like a badass, "If you need help retaining tenants, [my company] is always available to talk."

It's always good to have M to back you up.