I will pay you to unGoogle me...

I Google myself every once in awhile to see what comes up. Usually its Linked-in, Facebook, etc,. The other day I Googled myself and the last thing that I want to appear on fucking Google shows up: The police blotter for the small town newspaper where I was arrested during sophomore year. I go to school in a small town (9,000-10,000 people). For those of you who have never read a small town paper, they publish every civilian cop interaction for the week. EVERYTHING. Get a fucking parking ticket at the Wal-Mart in town, they will post it. Here's what my post reads:

My Name, 20, The town, booked in the early morning hours on Sunday. Public intox, minor in consumption.

(Note: the public intox charge was dropped. But I still spent the night in the county slammer and got pink eye in both eyes).

How does that fucking sound to an employer??!! Like a responsible young adult who you should invest a base salary of 60K into right? I'm a senior and recruiting season is underway. I have solid experience, but I don't go to a target school (Top 50 Liberal Arts) and I have a 3.31 GPA. Obviously I don't have aspirations of applying for an IBD analyst position at Goldman (I have a better shot at winning the powerball) but my name will probably be Googled in the next 6 months by someone other than me.

For whatever reason it shows up only on Firefox on my computer. I Googled how to un-google yourself and nothing productive or relevant has showed up. I even contacted the newspaper editor and the son of a bitch hasn't gotten back.

PLEASE HELP. I WILL MAIL YOU A NICE CHECK IF YOU CAN UNGOOGLE ME.

I'm losing sleep over this shit...

 
Best Response

What you need to do is outrank it with something positive, thats your best bet. Start a Twitter account under your real name, their domain has a high pagerank and should outrank that tiny paper. Start a blog. Fight fire with fire. You probably cant take down the newspaper article, so you'll need to drown it out.

- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

I know someone who had a whole bandwagon of people out there posting not-nice things about him on the internet. To help combat his bad press, he paid an organization to write a wikipedia article about him and increase the amount of good news that appeared on page 1. I suggest you look into similar organizations -- they are out there.

Note: You're probably not important enough to warrant a wikipedia page, but the search engine optimization part may work for you.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

Well Barnaby, due to my lack of desire to continue studying for my GMATs, I did some sleuthing. I think you're just fine. You don't come up on page one or two of any of my searches -- lucky you that your name isn't "Halberstram" or something equally unique. The article is over a year old and as it gets older google will continue to index it further and further down the chain. Your Linked-In profile, Facebook, freshman year football stats, etc. will also push it further down.

At the end of the day, public intoxication as a minor doesn't mean you're a criminal, it just means you got caught. I wouldn't worry about it -- go to bed.

P.S. An employer doesn't give a second thought to your $60k base salary.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

I couldn't find anything either (though those high school football stats are a nice touch). One thing to consider is that Google may be personalizing results for you if you're signed in - if they see you visit a site a lot, it will begin to rank more highly for you individually. Try signing out and see if the newspaper article is still at the top.

I think your probably fine. I did send you a PM though with a few tips on ramping up your positive online presence if you want to try to drown it out.

- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 
MailmanBitesDog:
What was the context of the forum? Link?
Hey Mailman, as much as I'd like to be able to show you guys the context, I hope you can understand that I'd rather not have even more people know my name, and for there to be more links to it around the web.
futurectdoc:
Unlikely to, it's the web, they likely don't care that much and how would they know it's actually you?
My full name is pretty unique -- or at least my middle name is. Given that my University is posted in the thread, the chances of there being another person with the same name as me are pretty slim.

However, I believe that you're still correct in saying that there's no way for them to actually verify that the person in the thread is me. Given that the matter was resolved, there was no police interaction (nor do I think there would have been even if it weren't), and as I mentioned in my OP, any legal file will come up clean for me.

Thanks for responding!

 

I'd certainly be willing to elaborate on it a bit more. Here's the basic situation:

I was a member of a hobbyist forum that revolves around people fawning over nice, legal items. Nothing shady, and nothing out of the ordinary. A hobby that's slightly expensive, but not into the range of modding-BMWs and whatnot.

There's a small classified sections on the forum, where I had previously developed a stellar reputation as a seller. I had made over a dozen transactions without a problem, including a few trades.

Over the particular weekend in question, I had agreed to make some trades with a few individuals (six, seven). It was slightly out of the ordinary, but nothing to cause concern in my eyes.

On Monday, I shipped the items out like I normally did, and provided them with an update. However, I received a call that afternoon with some urgent family matter, and had to fly home that very night. It never crossed my mind that there might have been an issue with shipping, as all of my previous transactions had been issue free.

Unfortunately, this time there was. The University service that I normally used to ship out my items had neglected to hand it off to USPS, and as such, the tracking numbers never updated. The members never received their items, even though they had fulfilled their end of the bargain and shipped their items to me.

Of course, I wasn't aware of this, as during my family emergency, I didn't even think about checking to make sure that everything was a-ok. Definitely foolish on my end, I realize, and that's a lesson I learned from the entire experience.

Long story short, a mob of forumers rose up and accused me in my classified listing of scamming them when the items didn't show up. To make matters worse, they pointed out, I used different names in my dealings with them. On my end, this had nothing to do with fraud, but was rather just me being the tin-foil paranoid that I am, who tries not to give away too much information about myself on the internet.

Of course, it all looked bad. They tried to file a police report, and there's a bunch of police information listed in the thread (officer phone number, email address, etc.).

It wasn't until after I returned that I saw what had happened, and tried immediately to rectify the situation. I shipped all of their items back promptly (express mail). The thread was locked, however, before I had the chance to explain what had happened. I was also banned from the forum for maintaining an alternate account (much as I'm doing now; this isn't my main WSO account).

That's all there is to it, in short. Nothing illegal, and no mens rea. In my eyes, its an issue of a series of unfortunate events happening, combined with the simple wonders of the internet and the fact that anyone can post anything at any time about any individual.


However, I'm aware that it looks back, and am deeply worried that this will dash my chances of working at an investment bank. Honestly, what I'm most worried about is the following scenario:

Receive offer from company A and B. Accept offer from A, and reject offer from B. Three months later, am informed by A that this came up in my background check, and have consequently rescinded their offer. Am left without an internship for the summer as a result. Poverty ensues, and I am eventually finished off by a hobo attacking me over a half-empty bottle of cheap liquor.

 

Create a shit load of search results with your name in it and create so much noise they'll never see it. HR only scans the first 10/20 or so, and unless you're on the front page of KKK TEXAS WEEKLY, they're really not going to scour the articles. The above are also good ideas: ask the site mod to take down the post.

You can also recruit some kids from 4chan to kill the site if you really want to nuke this.

Get busy living
 
UFOinsider:
Create a shit load of search results with your name in it and create so much noise they'll never see it. HR only scans the first 10/20 or so, and unless you're on the front page of KKK TEXAS WEEKLY, they're really not going to scour the articles. The above are also good ideas: ask the site mod to take down the post.

You can also recruit some kids from 4chan to kill the site if you really want to nuke this.

Depending how popular/large the site is that may be hard. The 4chan method would also work, but never trust them

 

Hey guys, as much as I appreciate the suggestion to have 4chan bomb the site, it's probably not a very smart idea, and it's actually a pretty large site (bigger than WSO, I'm sure).

My question really is just how damaging this could be to me if HR digs it up, and would a bank retract their offer over it? MailmanBitesDog has said no, but I'd appreciate any other insight.

 
thesevelvetmornings:
Hey guys, as much as I appreciate the suggestion to have 4chan bomb the site, it's probably not a very smart idea, and it's actually a pretty large site (bigger than WSO, I'm sure).

My question really is just how damaging this could be to me if HR digs it up, and would a bank retract their offer over it? MailmanBitesDog has said no, but I'd appreciate any other insight.

LOL I wouldn't do something like that either, I'm just trying to psych you up. Depending on how much of a douche the site plays you off as, it could actually be a problem. EddieBraverman has a post about dealing with this exact issue, and it would only take you a few minutes to cover your tracks...
Get busy living
 

Hey AlsatianCousin, it's not HypeBeast, Highsnobiety, etc., although I'm vaguely familiar with those forums.

UFOinsider, do you mind providing a link to the Eddie Braverman situation that you mentioned? I tried Googling it (oh, the irony), but I wasn't able to find it.

Thanks for the advice, guys. Any other opinions (especially HR) would be most welcome.

 

I'm curious about this, too. Can they actually take away your offer based off of something that's not even concrete? For example, I can go on a random website and write a bunch of shit about UFOinsider if I want, but it hardly means that it's true.

 
A Fellow Linguist:
I can go on a random website and write a bunch of shit about UFOinsider if I want, but it hardly means that it's true.
Now why would you go and do a thing like that?
Get busy living
 

it depends what the "items" are... if you're talking about a stereo or a computer, that's fine... if it was something you shouldn't have been handling in the first place, than it could be an issue.

If it's just some random item, then forget it, not a big deal. Just explain what happened if it comes up.

 

You need not worry OP. If HR were ever to google you, they would probably die of boredom from looking at your pokemon trading card site, before they can get around to black-listing you.

Calling Ron Paul an isolationist is like calling your neighbor a hermit because he doesn't come over to your property and break your windows.
 

Illum reiciendis et dolor nesciunt magnam dolores voluptatem. Nemo ad quod voluptas id dignissimos. Omnis animi est in ut. Incidunt voluptatem est ut eos. Dolores officia voluptatum fugiat sit quam.

Reprehenderit dolorem sit quis cum a. Qui nesciunt temporibus enim facere quod dolor veritatis. Occaecati ut error nam corporis assumenda id quia dolore. Et hic rerum nisi accusantium dolor. Autem nisi facilis eveniet sint ut quo qui. Id quo cupiditate ex pariatur voluptatum.

 

Aut consequuntur quasi quae laborum officia. Sint sapiente minima voluptatem et quisquam totam. Dignissimos est voluptatem ab ut voluptas veritatis.

Molestiae magnam harum distinctio dolor voluptatum aut minus. Porro doloribus nihil sit quia et. Omnis quas accusamus quidem et iusto officia aut. Sit ullam id sunt libero dicta et voluptatem cupiditate. Ut ducimus animi quo autem occaecati maxime. Commodi sed numquam consequatur. Qui beatae voluptate sapiente consequuntur.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”