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An escort who frequents Wall Street clientele gave an interview to Buzzfeed that has garnered a bit of interest on the internet. She had some brutally honest comments about her clients... Some unsurprising, some just downright sad.

They have big egos and are big babies. If I made any sign that they weren't the best lover, or that their dick wasn't the biggest dick I'd ever seen, they started asking all these questions and putting me down like: "Oh, well you've just seen more cock than a normal, nice girl would."

One guy, who said he was a bigwig at a global investment bank, came in his pants when I started undoing his belt. It was so awkward. He had been talking up how good he was in bed in the cab ride to the hotel from dinner.

So what do you think monkeys? Are you a bunch of tiny whiny guys with "issues"? Or (hopefully) does this story only ring true for your overworked / mid-life-crisis-ing / ultra-egocentric boss?

And while we're on the subject, what % of your bosses have a call-girl's # in their speed-dial?

Here's the original article

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Comments (116)

  • Js1337's picture

    LOL, this is going to get interesting

  • Nefarious-'s picture

    Couldn't imagine paying for sex.

    You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.

  • Cries's picture

    I wish I could afford a decent escort :/

    Maybe in like 10 years I'll have the excess cashflow

  • In reply to Nefarious-
    Abdel's picture

    Nefarious-:
    Couldn't imagine paying for sex.

    Exactly.

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

  • WSOusername's picture

    Im not really sure being told your dick is small by a tute is exactly an "insult" considering you could park a small car in their vag

    GBS

  • In reply to Abdel
    zeropower's picture

    Abdel:

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

    I guess you've never had a gf which is a CONSTANT outflow of cash. End result also the same, besides the few random times she surprises you and swallows.

  • TNA's picture

    I will never understand why guys who bang hookers care about what the hooker thinks about their dick size. This chick sleeps with dudes for cash lol.

    And why would you be weird about cumming in your pants or talk to a hooker about how good you are in bed. The goal isn't to please them, it is to get off.

  • In reply to zeropower
    RagnarDanneskjold's picture

    zeropower:
    Abdel:

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

    I guess you've never had a gf which is a CONSTANT outflow of cash. End result also the same, besides the few random times she surprises you and swallows.

    haha I agree. Some of these guys clearly haven't dated NYC girls. They'll learn the hard way soon enough.

  • In reply to zeropower
    Abdel's picture

    zeropower:
    Abdel:

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

    I guess you've never had a gf which is a CONSTANT outflow of cash. End result also the same, besides the few random times she surprises you and swallows.

    Sound advice for you guys: have a girlfriend that was raised in the 3rd world = she'll never ask you for money*.

    *unless she's a latina.

  • Abdel's picture

    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.

  • In reply to Abdel
    illiniPride's picture

    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"

  • In reply to illiniPride
    Abdel's picture

    illiniPride:
    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    They all cost money & they all help me when I'm in need of something.

  • JDawg's picture
  • Monkey Unity's picture

    Isn't dating just legal prostitution anyways?

    Some just never realize

    Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

  • In reply to RagnarDanneskjold
    brandon st randy's picture

    RagnarDanneskjold:
    zeropower:
    Abdel:

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

    I guess you've never had a gf which is a CONSTANT outflow of cash. End result also the same, besides the few random times she surprises you and swallows.

    haha I agree. Some of these guys clearly haven't dated NYC girls. They'll learn the hard way soon enough.

    Agree with you guys. Girlfriend is the one you pay to have sex with. Hookers are professionals whom you pay to leave after you are done.

    Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.

  • In reply to RagnarDanneskjold
    streetwannabe's picture

    RagnarDanneskjold:
    Nefarious-:
    Couldn't imagine paying for sex.

    Every guy pays for sex. Some just don't know it.

    @gs elevator. haha

    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

  • streetwannabe's picture

    also, kinda funny and relative; sorry for shit quality and sound
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSsRxzBxo20

    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

  • In reply to JDawg
    wolverine19x89's picture

    JDawg:
    my cock is huge

    pics or it didn't happen

    I've always thought that it's weird that prostitution with a camera is legal and regulated, yet the thought of doing the same without a camera is soooo out of bounds... I'd never fuck a hooker just because I'd be afraid of what diseases may end up on me, but if you want to pay a girl for sex, go ahead, idgaf

    If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

    "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

  • swagon's picture

    bish take yo hunnits gtfo, thats my motto and i encourage yall to do the same

  • Ryan M's picture

    soooooooooooooooo if they are basically just a cum dumpster why is every one picking the ones that are obviously a depreciating asset or straight up loss (hookers, high maintenance gfs). Find a girl that will create a second income rather then the air head bimbos. Do you really care if it is barbie are a hot shot lawyer when its just a cum dump? difference is that you had to buy barbie a new car and the lawyer bought her own. but if the trophy is worth that much to you enjoy!

  • Surefire's picture

    Only reason a guy should pay for a prostitute is so they can do shit they can't normally get away with, like pulling hair and slapping while calling her a dirty bitch.......then again if this is shit you normally get away with then more props to you

  • wolverine19x89's picture

    it's not that they're looking for a trophy or some income, ryan. it's that they're looking for somebody that will actually give them a mega-rager. hookers and girlfriends aren't necessarily long term investments.

    If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

    "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

  • In reply to Abdel
    mb666's picture

    Abdel:
    illiniPride:
    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    They all cost money & they all help me when I'm in need of something.

    lol enough with the costs... next poster is going to post the opportunity cost of the client,

    Paying for a girlfriend (not a gold-digger or prostitute) is not comparable to this situation. Plus my gf pays for me all the time... restaurants, AE shoes, expensive clothes, etc.

  • In reply to mb666
    Abdel's picture

    mb666:
    Abdel:
    illiniPride:
    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    They all cost money & they all help me when I'm in need of something.

    lol enough with the costs... next poster is going to post the opportunity cost of the client,

    Paying for a girlfriend (not a gold-digger or prostitute) is not comparable to this situation. Plus my gf pays for me all the time... restaurants, AE shoes, expensive clothes, etc.

    Just make sure that she's spending on you as much as you're spending on her. Because when things fall apart (and they will, as usual, once you get tired of smashing the same body), you'll feel like a sucker for paying more.

  • GoW's picture

    Deleted until further investigation.

  • Angus Macgyver's picture

    Psssst. Hey, guys. Need to supplement my meagre salary. Me love you long time, baby. Twenty dorrah.

  • Flake's picture

    It's true. I came just from reading this.

    Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.

  • In reply to Monkey Unity
    BTbanker's picture

    Monkey Unity:
    Isn't dating just legal prostitution anyways?

    Some just never realize


    Kinda like how taxes are legal larceny, abortion is legal murdering, and scripts are legal drug dealing.
  • In reply to JDawg
    wolverine19x89's picture

    JDawg:
    wolverine19x89:
    JDawg:
    my cock is huge

    pics or it didn't happen

    here you go

    If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

    "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

  • In reply to zeropower
    aempirei's picture

    zeropower:
    Abdel:

    Only suckers pay for sex. Just masturbate man, it will give you the exact same result but for free.

    I guess you've never had a gf which is a CONSTANT outflow of cash. End result also the same, besides the few random times she surprises you and swallows.


    That's why you find one that swallows before you make her your GF. My last GF swallowed everytime (and liked doing it). I wifed her up pretty quick.

    My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.

  • UkraineTrain's picture

    There's a difference. You pay a hooker so she HAS to have sex with you. You pay for your girfriend so she will want to have sex with you. Let's also point out that girls like having sex too.

  • In reply to TNA
    PetEng's picture

    TNA:
    I will never understand why guys who bang hookers care about what the hooker thinks about their dick size. This chick sleeps with dudes for cash lol.

    And why would you be weird about cumming in your pants or talk to a hooker about how good you are in bed. The goal isn't to please them, it is to get off.

    x1000000.

    Anytime a hooker suggests something (yes, this has happened before) the proper response is - "Are you paying me?"

  • Gate_Crasher's picture

    Why would a whore's opinion matter.

    She not an "escort" she is a "WHORE". Since when anyone gave a flying fcuk what a whore thought ?
    She should shut the fcuk up, less talking and more fcuking.
    Sounds to me like she is just another whore trying to make it big scuking DICK.

    YES, I HAVE A SMALL DICK AND LOVE TO BE COMPLEMENTED IN BED. PROBLEM ?

    She is a whore. Beggars can't be choosers.

  • ProspectiveMonkey's picture
  • In reply to Gate_Crasher
    ProspectiveMonkey's picture

    Gate_Crasher:
    ess talking and more fcuking.

    I don't know about this, I always thought it to be more stimulating to talk to someone who is totally outside society's rules versus someone who is avoiding the IRS, working at a Bar (collecting tips).

    Then again, Boy George said "I'd rather have a nice cup of tea than bad sex"

  • In reply to ProspectiveMonkey
    Gate_Crasher's picture

    ProspectiveMonkey:
    Gate_Crasher:
    ess talking and more fcuking.

    I don't know about this, I always thought it to be more stimulating to talk to someone who is totally outside society's rules versus someone who is avoiding the IRS, working at a Bar (collecting tips).

    Then again, Boy George said "I'd rather have a nice cup of tea than bad sex"

    Hahahahahaha

    You funny guy !

  • Boreed's picture

    I see a lot of myself in this. Ergo, I will be a successful banker.

  • In reply to Boreed
    TonyPerkis's picture

    Boreed:
    I see a lot of myself in this. Ergo, I will be a successful banker.

    Ergo, you have a tiny Schmeckel

    I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk

  • In reply to TonyPerkis
    Boreed's picture

    ToiletPaper:
    Boreed:
    I see a lot of myself in this. Ergo, I will be a successful banker.

    Ergo, you have a tiny Schmeckel

    Come on man, you're an Asian!

  • In reply to TonyPerkis
    Boreed's picture

    ToiletPaper:
    Boreed:
    I see a lot of myself in this. Ergo, I will be a successful banker.

    Ergo, you have a tiny Schmeckel

    And stop being toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Stop commenting on my shit.

  • Anacott_CEO's picture

    Every time I hear one of these stories or read about it, all I think about is Bateman with the chainsaw.

  • In reply to Monkey Unity
    MissNG's picture

    Monkey Unity:
    Isn't dating just legal prostitution anyways?

    Some just never realize


    You've been dating the wrong ladies sir. If you see them that way, then thats who you'll attract.

    "Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

  • In reply to Abdel
    mb666's picture

    Abdel:
    mb666:
    Abdel:
    illiniPride:
    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    They all cost money & they all help me when I'm in need of something.

    lol enough with the costs... next poster is going to post the opportunity cost of the client,

    Paying for a girlfriend (not a gold-digger or prostitute) is not comparable to this situation. Plus my gf pays for me all the time... restaurants, AE shoes, expensive clothes, etc.

    Just make sure that she's spending on you as much as you're spending on her. Because when things fall apart (and they will, as usual, once you get tired of smashing the same body), you'll feel like a sucker for paying more.

    Not sure what a$$hole threw monkey sh!t at you but I agree. Plus it's a long-term relationship (half a decade) so the trust is there. I just hate how she wants to go to restaurants all the time... such a waste of money.

  • In reply to mb666
    Abdel's picture

    mb666:
    Abdel:
    mb666:
    Abdel:
    illiniPride:
    Abdel:
    Well for that matter, friends too cost money. The # of times you have to go out with them for a drink etc.

    I cain't afford friends, let alone a hooker or a gf.


    I like how you put hookers, friends, and a gf in the same category.

    They all cost money & they all help me when I'm in need of something.

    lol enough with the costs... next poster is going to post the opportunity cost of the client,

    Paying for a girlfriend (not a gold-digger or prostitute) is not comparable to this situation. Plus my gf pays for me all the time... restaurants, AE shoes, expensive clothes, etc.

    Just make sure that she's spending on you as much as you're spending on her. Because when things fall apart (and they will, as usual, once you get tired of smashing the same body), you'll feel like a sucker for paying more.

    Not sure what a$$hole threw monkey sh!t at you but I agree. Plus it's a long-term relationship (half a decade) so the trust is there. I just hate how she wants to go to restaurants all the time... such a waste of money.

    Remember though, a 5 years relationship of two working professionals is equal to say, a 2-3 years relationship of people in their early 20's, who can spend more time together. So, expect a major crisis ahead shortly.

    The older I get, the more I realize that the way to go is arranged marriages. I mean, having a gf is such a waste of time, energy, money etc.

  • cheese86's picture

    Second the girlfriend ALWAYS wanting to go out to eat. I know all families are different but eating a nice meal at a restaurant was somewhat of a special occasion in my family growing up, and not for lack of means. It takes the fun out of treating a girl to a nice dinner when she goes to restaurants with her friends four times a week anyways.

  • In reply to wolverine19x89
    UFOinsider's picture

    wolverine19x89:
    [I'd never fuck a hooker because I'd be afraid of what diseases may end up on me, but if you want to pay a girl for sex, go ahead, idgaf

    Get busy living

  • In reply to Abdel
    UFOinsider's picture

    Abdel:
    The older I get, the more I realize that the way to go is arranged marriages.

    ....yeah but think about the type of girl you're going to meet through mom and dad

    Get busy living

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