Who IS your Rabbi now?

From Wikipedia: In Judaism, a rabbi is a teacher of Torah. This title derives from the Hebrew word, meaning "My Master", which is the way a student would address a master of Torah.

In the world of sales and trading, yelling and screaming are sometimes inevitable by-products of risk-taking and deal-making. What if you, the lowly first year analyst/associate, found yourself in the middle of an MD-to-MD duel? News flash: Jewish or not, you need a Rabbi. The sellside trading floor is a highly hierarchical place. Therefore, in order to ensure your continued survival and promotion within the hierachy, you need to develop a pair of eyes to identify a Rabbi, and follow him/her.

Rabbi criteria #1: HIGH ENOUGH in the hierachy. Not everyone's Rabbi is their immediate boss. As a fresh-faced analyst, sometimes you get stuck with some newly promoted VP doing his/her BS work, without learning a whole lot. And guess what - when shit hits the fan, that VP can't protect you and can't promote you. Your loyalty goes to the head of the group, someone who can sponsor you and shield some bullets when the VP can't step up.
Additional clue: Is he/she on any committee? Analyst hiring committee? VP promotion committee? THAT is a positive signal he/she is Rabbi material.

Rabbi criteria #2: A good book of business. No, aspiring prop trader cubs, I am not talking about you or your future business. I am talking about your would-be Rabbi. In S&T, assuming your would-be Rabbi is on the right side of the team (and not on the way out, voluntarily or involuntarily), his voice and ability to speak up on your behalf depends on his power within the organization. That, my friend, is directly related to revenue: P&L for a trading group, revenue generation for a sales group.
Additional clue: If you are rotating, a strong group in anything is worth considering. Fancy pants products sound exciting, but fancy pants trading also blows you up a lot more if no one can tell why your stochastic vol model under predicted (and you under hedged) your delta by 200K per basis point as market moved against you.

Rabbi criteria #3: You can help him/her in some ways. Now, you might ask, what can I, a newbie in the business, help a powerful industry veteran? It could be true that your would-be Rabbi would know more about the market then 10 of you combined, but you have to look through his lens and not yours. Maybe you are the next star sales/trader he hope to glean once you finish rotating and needs a permanent place (A qualified Rabbi always has first hand information on head
count issue for next year). Maybe you work in a group where constant conversation at any levels gets him insight into a market place he is less familiar and you happen to be able to explain yourself decently. Maybe he is your new group head and want to build HIS CREW from the bottom up. You might not always figure out the reason right away, but take any opportunity, be helpful and present yourself well.
Additional clue: cling to the MDs who you've helped out in small ways before.

FAKE RABBI(FR): Yes they exist. Yes I once nearly fell victim to one. Not all Fake Rabbi (FR) start with ill intentions. Some are simply long-term VP/directors who hopes that by teaching you something you would grow enough to propel him (and you too) to the next level.

Upside to this argument:
1. He/she is willing to exchange work for knowledge imparted, sometimes even generously, which doesn't always happen on the trading floor.
2. IF the plan works out, you are his/her man for a long while (but things can change, and change is the only constant).
Downside to this argument:
1. FR's promotion sometimes comes at the expense on someone on top of him/her, often, a would-be Rabbi you might not have recruited. Do you really want to be on the side of a failed coup d'etat?
2. IF you learn too much from the FR, you might eventually be viewed as a threat - and MUCH earlier before a would-be Rabbi would put you on the map. Don't cap yourself out early!
3. Following #2, when things start to change, FR tends to feed their former protege with a lot of crap - bad advice that attempts to derail you from the right thing. If they fail to derail you, they might even become outright hostile, leaving you wondering what did you do that made you fall out of favor with them. It's not them - it's you growing up too fast and they can't control you any more.

So friends, watch out for the Fake Rabbis (FRs) and ask yourself this: Who IS my Rabbi now?