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"Steve Strikes Again"

Source: //www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-do-you-guys-approach-women?page=1#comment-486554

#MrStealYoGirl

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If you have an accent see footnote

If you don't have an accent, read the following:

Talk to them like a person. Don't be nervous, don't put on a facade that isn't real. You'll get exposed in less than three minutes. Don't lie to them.

Women are the best liars on planet earth, their competitive advantage in a world full of giant beasts with teeth, claws, speed, ability to fly and breath underwater isn't their hulking biceps or high levels of testosterone. They survive by convincing beasts with those traits that they are helpless and worth saving and worth dying for. Imagine you picked a fight to the death with your girlfriend, you'd fuck her shit with less than a scratch to show for it.

Most attractive women who live in an expensive city can't afford it, they claim to live in Tribeca but they split a studio with 6 other "part-time models." They put it all on the line in the hopes that they will catch a guy who can support himself and a family later down the line. They get approached constantly. They need a way to sift through who's worthy and who isn't. Snap judgements. If you think you have a pick up line or you think you can play it like you're the David Tepper of slaying puss and have her not know, you're a fucking idiot.

Women are coached by their mothers from a young age, either knowingly or unknowingly, on how to date. They also have more dating experience than you. From the age of 6 when they get their first cell phone they're texting sally about how jimmy was holding hands with sara during recess. They study and learn relationships. For every hour you spend binding a pitchbook they've spent 100x that studying how to select and attract guys, with enthusiasm. It's fun for them. It's what they do.

They have more pickup experience than you. They've seen it all, even the fat chicks.... especially the fat chicks. There's always that one fat chick or "undesirable" who has more experience than any of them in their crew. She's the "management consultant." She can't get it done, but she's seen every case study ever and is a walking encyclopedia FuckTanica.

If you're living in a city, let's say NY, and you're planning on walking up to a 24 year old hottie and "spittin your game" of horse shit it's the equivalent of going into a super quant goldman trader computer science intergalactic space math interview with a forged transcript, criminal record for first degree federal crimes, and a bogus resume with jobs listed on it that you never worked. You'll get PUT ON BLAST......... oh yeah and you went to a state school BOOOOM!

If your balls didn't shrink a bit from reading what I already wrote, then please continue.

Be yourself. If you aren't confident - make yourself confident, find out what's holding you back and change for the better --- women can't sniff you out, because it's real. Living in your moms basement with 20k of credit card debt and have a room full of pokemon plush toys? Work towards fixing up your personal life, get on track, chuck the dolls -- women can't call you out on being a creepo, because you aren't anymore.

Oh I almost forgot. If you think the girl you took home from Bungalo 8 last night and "scored" with didn't know that the "(insert first name or nickname here) Train was on a one way express route to the bone zone" you're clueless. She picked you homie. You just passed her tests. She saw you the moment you walked into the club. Bitches heads are on a swivel when they're out looking for some good D. She put herself in a position at the club that was accessible and convenient for you to talk to her, and if you didn't - well you just helped her weed out a candidate who wasn't cut out for the job. Don't worry though, she has her pick of every single guy in the club. She'll sit there and wait as they roll up one at a time buying her free drinks. She doesn't meet the guy she wants? She leaves - with $200 in free booze. Win/Win. As for you? Don't worry either. There's always a boutique LOLOLOLOLOL Ujelly?

The rolling with a crew of guys who have game strat works well when you're in college or a few years out of school. Downsides are that it could possible make you dependent. Do it too often, or a few times in a row with the same girl and it sends up a red flag. It's like meeting some annoying big 4 auditor about some documents he requested. You pass him what he needs with one hand as you accidentally drop "the real figures" out of your other hand.

Don't walk around the city with your sunglasses on, ipod in your ear, blackberry in your hand. Unplug. Observe. Everyone walks around this giant city, packs themselves into a crowded downtown 4/5 or waits on line at Mangia thinking that they're completely anonymous and no one notices them. Remember that time you were walking home from work and you saw that total babe and you thought to yourself holy shit I'd like to fuck that? Guess what, she's doing the same thing. You'll never get a chance to introduce yourself if you're balls deep in a game of brick breaker while emailing your friend about how you're going to tear it up in Murray Hill Friday night.

You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: fucked, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.

Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, fuck better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.

When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only fucking card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her twat and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."

Things I liked from previous posters:

1. Are you single.... shit is SO cash. Don't open with it, but after you break the ice ask her directly. Cut the shit and get to it, you both know what you're here to do.

Caffeine is wearing off and this was a nice distraction from studying for a prof exam.

Good night and God bless monkeys.

Footnote: OR JUST HAVE A FUCKING ACCENT YOU STUPID FUCKING DUMBSHIT FUCKING MORON ASS CLOWN. j/k but seriously that is huge.

TeddyTheBear:

Pink: Help! I can't see what's happening, someone forgot to draw my eyeballs!!

animalz:

Pink shirt: "It's falling faster than the Dow"
Blue shirt: "You can stand under my bankarella, ella, ella, eh, eh..."

lol @ rihanna :D

Q: What's the difference between a magician and a stripper? A: One has a cunning stunt...