We have a fun new contest each week to let our funniest members win a free WSO T shirt with their witty inner genius. All you have to do is leave a comment in this post with a caption you think is most fitting for the cartoon posted below. The winner will be determined by the community based on the number of Silver Bananas awarded to each comment. In the event of a tie, the admins of the site will decide the winner or send out multiple free shirts if we can't decide. Wall Street jokes welcomed and encouraged!
Rules: caption must be posted before 11:59pm ET Jan 26th, winner will be announced Monday
Fucking non-targets
Interviewer: "Why are you shaking and sweating ? Are you nervous ?" Candidate: "No, Sir. I am an alcoholic."
I thought you said our new policy meant one free weekend a month...
HR Dude: "What seems to be the matter?"
Candidate: "Uh...the Loch Ness Monster is behind you."
Why is my MD sitting in the HR chair?
Brady4MVP's Nightmare:
HR: "So, I've got 1,000 applicants from Harvard applying for this job. You didn't even get in. Why should I choose you?"
Brady4MVP: "Well, uh, see, it's like this. Ummm." Gulp
"You listed a 3.5 GPA, did you round at all?"
Background check you say?! On who?! On me?!
I'd like to discuss the results of your hair follicle test and a thread you made on WSO about the same..
Did he say super day or super spray?
HR: "Too bad, I was going to collect your urine sample."
Well, it looks like you put in a lot of hard work throughout undergrad and we're just about ready to extend you a FT offer. What's this? I just received a copy of an email you sent to one of my colleagues at Wells Fargo regarding you no longer wanting to be considered for a spot there. Let me just open that up real quick...
The female HR that looks like a man after a few years of working at Goldman Sachs: “Is there anything wrong?” Candidate: … (silence)
So explain to me exactly what happened to the intern...
HR: So what you do...is take the markups from the VP, and you bring 'em down to the analyst's desk.
ASSOCIATE POOLIE: YES, uh, yes that's right.
HR: Well then I just have to ask, why couldn't the analyst just take the markups directly from the VP?
POOLIE: Well, I'll - I'll tell you why. Because, uh, analysts, uh are not good, at dealing with VPs.
HR: So, you physically take the markups, from the VP?
POOLIE: WELL... No, mah - my secretary does that.
HR: So then you must...physically bring them to the Analyst.
POOLIE: WELL......No. YEAHH mean...sometimes.
HR: What would you say....you DO HERE?
POOLIE: WELL LOOK I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DEAL WITH THE GODDAMN VP SO THE ANALYST DOESN'T HAVE TO! I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS! I HAVE AN MBA, CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
archipelago is the winner!
Now who's really making it rain...
HR: "She happens to be my daughter...and she happens to be in high school"
She said she was 18!!!!
What do you mean, "that's how the guys on WallStreetOasis told me to show it on my resume"?
So let me read you Sharon's email to me.....
HR guy - "You should be sweating. I just read the answers off the sheet, if its not exact, DING"
"so you forgot to mute your headset..."
Never buy a secondhand whizzinator.
bbc strikes agian
We asked you to pee in the cup, not on the ground.
walk me through a dcf
I don't want an anal probe!
HR guy: "Nice tie. Men's Wearhouse?" Candidate (thinking): "Damn! How could he tell?"
I've noticed you have already updated your LinkedIn to (Incoming) Investment Banking Analyst before arriving to your super day.
Urine sample?!? Sorry, I just went. Let's try again in 3-4 weeks.
"Take them out they say....Show them a good time they say...Get them to buy they say....Do whatever it takes they say....Absinthe I say....Porn Shop tour I say.....Rave I say....Pregnant Stripper I say..."
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