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(Updated by ITF after a good strong drink, 4/22/2013)

Whether it’s your first time at one of these events or you just need a refresher on the rules of etiquette, these are the “best practices” for WSO Happy Hours to ensure maximum enjoyment. Bear in mind that these are social events and should be treated as such. You will hopefully meet and talk shop with many of your fellow monkeys, but this is NOT a pure networking event in the traditional sense.

That being said, some of your fellow simians and I have collated the following WSO Happy Hour Best Practices:

1. Thou shall make every reasonable attempt to attend said happy hours, provided that thou hast attaindst the twenty-first year of thine age.

2. Thou shall eat, drink, and be merry (this is a no-brainer and goes without saying).

3. Thou shall not be an asshole.

4. Thou shall not bring copies of your resume to a happy hour.

5. In the event that you encounter an undesirable contact (including, but not limited to, angry former bosses and mentally unstable exes of any kind), thou shall be the bigger man (monkey) by excusing yourself or suggesting we drink elsewhere.

6. In the event that you are a self-admitted lightweight (such as an engineer), thou shall feel free to toss back a few anyway, as no one shall judge.

7. Thou shall not be afraid to take an extra drink (or three) for liquid courage to amplify your personality for the purposes of impressing a devilishly attractive monkey of the opposite sex.

8. Thou shall not pass up the opportunity for a game of billiards if circumstances permit. If your opponent is monty09 however, understand and acknowledge that thou shall lose.

9. Thou shall not make a fuss if someone offers to buy you the next round.

10. Life is too short. Thou shall acknowledge there is more to life than school and career, and that attitude is exemplified by WSO Happy Hours. Be that as it may, should external circumstances call you elsewhere for an extended period of time, thou shall make an effort to party with your simian pals before you depart. Anything else is just selling yourself short.

11. Thou shalt be kind to the waitstaff and bartenders, addressing them by name if possible. They take good care of us, and you may even feel compelled to give them a handshake or a hug at the end of the night.

12. Thou shalt use common sense when considering your dress code. There is no official dress code for WSO Happy Hours, but plan ahead. Casual is fine, but do not show up looking (for instance) as if you just got off the treadmill and forgot to shower. You’ll freak out the newcomers and make us all look bad.

Per suggestion from Frieds, this will also serve as an open thread for monkeys to ask any questions about Happy Hour, or recap some funny stories from happy hours past. Mods and organizers, please feel free to link to this list when you create the event of your choosing!

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