A lighthearted sexual aside

i actually consider myself a jock guido douche and am quite fantastic with the american ladies.

there is no elegance here because us real men just want to hit it and quit it.

congratulations on getting laid in paris. i get laid in nyc, hoboken and philly by girls who look like porn stars. i find them quite attractive but can barely speak proper english but its not like i listen to what they say anyway.

as far as american girls sucking in bed...thats true they do suck, but not in the way you mean it.

...monkeying around..

Props kid, I just lived vicariously for a moment or two.

I hit a fine french girl (polish native, but with all the freak France has instilled in her) while I was doing a finance program in Copenhagen.

I had to comment on this because French girls are by long and far at the top of my list. I've lived in 7 different countries and had many flavors but I have still yet to tackle a native...

I'm glad someone is making tallies on our side of the board. Keep up the good work.

Symmetrical face...

Speaking of douches.

"having sex with her was like reading the wall street journal"
-Bud Fox

once upon a time, i was in paris - solo - for a couple of days after some business in london. the last night i was there, i was pretty much settled on taking it easy, you know, dinner near the hotel, a few drinks at the bars, and some much needed zzzs before my early 8am flight. that was the plan anyway. after a relaxing french bistro al fresco, i head up to bastille and have a few drinks on the row. met some new people, some of which actually spoke english - not to be under appreciated in paris. cool. not thwarted tho. headed back to the first district around 1230. on point. i hop out the cab a little early to skip the extra charge for the long drive around to my one way street...and a make a turn down a small one. its dark and empty and im thinking i wonder if jack the ripper vacationed in paris, but whatever. im walking up the block and sitting in a doorway is this chic. brunette. shes taking roller blades off. im thinking wtf? is this for real? i sneak a look as i walk by. damn, shes kinda hot. she smiles. a few steps later, i hear broken english - do you know where le paris paris is? im thinking, ok is she really asking me for paris? confused i ask her to repeat. apparently its a club. oh. that makes me feel a little better. i come back, cause well shes hot, and we chat for a bit, broken english to broken french. nice. all the while im thinking, im going to get robbed at any second now. this has all the makings of a tourist trap. i mean, i could just see the headlines. fk it, i say. i only had ID and 60 euros. i could take a beating. ill just plead for my life. besides the twins and junior are on a mission now. its too late.

so she puts the blades into her huge purse. of all the things women carry in there, never these right? anyway, by then im sitting next to her on the step. were talking must have been about 15minutes. somewhere a long the line shes asking something and rolls her thumb up and down her first and middle fingers. huh? wait. she opens her purse and shows me. makes the motion again. no way.... shes trying to ask me if i know how to roll a stogie. wtf is going on????? really? now im thinking, this is just ridiculous. police sting operation. locked up abroad. fk it. we roll a dutch and blaze one in the streets of paris. are you kidding? awesome. i realize as we walk around looking for this club, that her english is actually not that bad and im pretty sure its the only reason we can communicate well enough. also, i realize now shes quite slim and pretty tall in the heels she put on. hmm. now im thinking. she hasnt asked me for money yet, but is she a "corner girl"? fk. as we wander and i wonder, shes trying to call her friends. no one is answering. this is slowing drawing out to a halt. fk. at some point i remember i saw a club the other night that i was thinking i might check out. never got around to it. its the only one i had seen in the area. couldnt remember the name, but i suggest we check this place out.

so much more detail, but to be short now cause this story is getting long and im a lazy bastard....turns out my place is the place. turns out its pack. turns out there are hotties everywhere. turns out its an mtv after party. turns out shes a fkg model. turns out i am now vip - free champagne and strawberries. turns out that i meet her other model friends. turns out i hob nob with french celebrities (who??). turns turns out we get slushed. turns out that i turned her out - this woman had no inhibitions. turns out that i left her neked in my hotel bed and barely made my flight at de gaulle. turns out pretty fkg awesome. i love paris for other reasons now. whew.

God, where do you clowns come from

whenever I hear people complain about American girls not being as good as Europeans (especially in bed), I'm always reminded of something a friend of mine, who also went to Eton, related to me:

'There's a reason they kicked the Puritans out of England'

Props on Paris - had a similar experience when I was in London on business.

"fk it, i say. i only had ID and 60 euros. i could take a beating."

hahahaha

turns out that this is the funniest shit ever, turns out your my hero

Wintonheights, I love your story -very fancy.
Paris is a grand city, so exquisite, so graceful and so dear, yet so fashionably unbinded.

I'd say despite your brashly heterosexual story you come off as sounding only slightly less "faggoty" than Oscar Wilde.

do you feel better now dip-piss?

reread your post and realize the irony.

youre certainly VERY familiar with oscar wilde, arent you?

wanted some company, huh?

ha ha. thanks for the entertainment, but ill pass.

I wasn't referring to you kid

Plus I play on the Islanders so I get mad bitches, i fucked natalie portman

my b.

carry on.