A question for the men

Guys, I've got a question for you.

Do you guys ever go on interviews and are really questioned as to why you are doing your current career?

On interviews in the past, I have had men take a look at my resume (this resume has relevant BB experience), talk about how I graduated in 07 (so you can infer my age) and ask, with a knowing glance, 'Do you really want to work in finance?".

I just don't get it. I almost want to say, "No, I don't even know what I am doing here, or why I am wasting your time, or why I spent all that time working at a BB because I don't really want to work in finance or why I do afterwork finance activities or anything like that"

The other gnawing thought is that because I am 30 and in prime baby making, settling down time, they might think I'm just waiting to get married before I become a trophy tiger mom of the UES.

Who knows?

 
Best Response

I wouldn't infer anything from it. To me, that's a pretty boilerplate question to any candidate, particularly so for a lateral as it may not be clear the candidate wants to leave (i.e. a new setting won't be the panacea if you hate the fundamental function). Also - they probably can determine your gender and approximate age prior to even interviewing you, so (if they did at all) they have likely considered any "baby-making and split" intentions before calling you in.

My $0.02 is that I would consider this a one sided argument. What I infer from your post is that you think men do not take you seriously, but what if that question was asked to a male candidate by a female interviewer? I presume you would think that question to be less offensive

 

I think those other questions are pretty standard. However, she seems to have been in the industry for ~8 years and I think at that point it seems a little unusual to be asking her if this is what she really wants. I think the "why finance" question is typically asked of college students or maybe those who are wrapping up their analyst years. Take that with a grain of salt as I've only been working for a few years but even then, I don't think I've been asked "why finance" since undergrad.

 

fair point..

though I must point out that OP has shared very little information. e.g. how many interviews have you had and how many (1%, 20%, 100%) of the male interviewers asked her this?

We also do not know what type of finance this person is doing. Some tracks require more formal schooling than others. Honestly, my first impression while reading the original post, before 'baby making time' was mentioned was to know why this person did not go to grad school if she really claims to want to make it big in high finance (coz she mentions BB experience, etc.). Most (maybe all) people in high places in finance seem to go to a really good school for an MBA/PhD, etc - and might even be considered necessary for certain positions, e.g. Many firms specifically advertise positions as pre-MBA/post-MBA, etc.

Maybe she is right about the bias OR maybe she is not. My point is that there just is not enough information for sensible person on this board to go "yes, you are right. This is definitely sexism OR vice versa.."

 

If you think that is the stereotype against you, then you need to figure out a way to convey that it doesn't apply to you. That's all you can do. Worrying about whether it's fair or being equally applied won't help you. Sorry for the brevity, I had a long response typed up discussing the biases towards men or women, but you already understand everything I was going to say, and I wanted to convey that you need to be more worried about figuring out how to overcome it.

 

If you're spending time thinking about questions in terms of "why they're being asked" rather than "what they're actually asking" then maybe philosophy or HR is a more suitable function, no offense.

PS- I struggled with the same dilemma when I tried to understand 'why' these posts keep making front page.

 

I have about the same level of experience as you, and I've been asked that question several times. It was phrased more as "why did you choose to major in finance?" or "why did you choose this job?", but I feel questions like this are pretty standard and typically asked as ice breakers, to learn more about you, or to see how you respond to an unexpected question.

For one position, the interviewer asked me why I chose the college I graduated from, and I wondered what he was implying by asking that. After I got the job and partnered with him for a few interviews, I noticed that he asked every single candidate that same question. I also once had an interviewer ask me if I would cut my finger off for $10M dollars. The questions you get are typically more a reflection of the interviewer's style vs a reflection of your background or underlying assumptions they have about you.

I doubt they are implying anything by asking you that. Unless something in your background gives them a reason to question your interest in finance, they are more than likely just trying to learn more about you.

 

I do receive such questions too during interviews. I am roughly your age though of opposite gender.

These questions just come out of the blue with no context whatsoever. My guess is that given that we are no longer as young, there is a lingering doubt in their mind as to whether we can be fully committed to such intense roles. That kid out of undergrad is easily less of a risk (and cheaper) than we are. Sad but true :(

 

Lots of really great advice on this thread. Thank you! I have a traditionally male name, so I definitely get a double take when people come into the room.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
 

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