It's my birthday today, and learned that my GF paid for a 1 week vacation for the both of us to go to Cleveland. My natural excitement made me spin out of my chair, get up, and swing my fist into the air. I did all of this so fast that I didn't realize my Managing Director was right behind me ready to ask a question about the DCF model I just completed (which admittedly was fucked up).
It really looked as if I WANTED to punch him in the face. Blood was everywhere, and it was right before lunch. I immediately apologized, explained what happened, and offered to get him band-aids, paper towels, water, advil etc..
Look guys, I feel as if I really messed up this time. I need some solid advice. The MD was crying in his office as I passed by to go to lunch.
Going on vacation to Cleveland?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA
haven't laughed that hard in a while
these threads aren't funny so stop
If you're looking for your section you can find it here:
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Damn I wish I was going on vacation to Cleveland
~
Cleveland? Was Detroit fully booked or something?
Be careful. Your MD isn't crying, he is just trying to assert his dominance by marking his territory.
If anyone asserted his dominance in this situation it was op. The MD is crying because he's no longer the alpha.
Yeah, I saw this one on the Animal Planet last night.
He was never the alpha. And clearly, this is fiction.
I'd punch my boss in the face if I found out my girlfriend spent money on a vacation to Cleveland.,,,
Come for the chili, stay for the despair
Hey they won the finals. It's slightly less shitty now.
SB'd as soon as I saw the part about Cleveland. Grats bro
Cleveland's tourism video must be working:
I guess anyone can get certified these days
hey, certification just means he/she is actually a working professional (checked manually by our team)...no guarantees /requirements on how many serious or funny posts you have to hit :-)
You can manually check me out anytime ;)
Um...Hi Patrick, how did you manually check that I was a real person? PM me, there are obviously gaps in my online security protocols.
I cannot post because I am not certified yet and I have actual career questions to ask, yet people waste posts with nonsense like this.
what do you mean you can't post because you aren't certified? You can post anytime you want...see the big green "Start Discussion" button on top of right column. Go for it! :-)
fyi, there will be a restriction on posting links since you are a new user and new users tend to have a very high level of spamming attempts...
Ah that was it, about two months ago I tried to post something regarding a acquisition done without an advising investment bank, must have been blocked because of a link.
If this forum was strictly limited to career questions, I am sure it's read rate would be less than half of what it is.
Your bank probably has security cameras. Go find the security desk and watch that shit on replay.
+1 ... this... actually get a copy and upload it on youtube..
better yet, submit it to ESPN.
There was only one way for celebrating booking a vacation in Cleveland to end. And this was it.
Tell him you have PTSD from "the war" and then start mumbling something about arabs, being locked up, and bad things all while having a crazy look in your eyes.
Maybe the vacation a well-intentioned but mistimed trip to the NBA Finals? Anyways, just wanted to say y'all are making me use up all my silver bananas. Keep it up.
This motherfucker vacations in the hardest town in America. The MD should be thankful you didn't do more.
Actually here's what you do: write a profuse apology email and explain the whole thing. You might get arrested for assault, but that'll just help you fit in in Cleveland.
It's fine as long as you don't fart in the pipeline meetings.
Cross thread points?
I've never heard anyone say that they are going on vacation in Cleveland.
I just spit out my beer, thank you for this
10/10
+1 @mrb87, the Pokemon thing must really be bringing out the lames. 25 comments and not a single laugh was had that day.
you should see about getting workmans comp for your hand
I would think his boss’ face needs it more...
"Cleveland is for Lovers" kudos to the GF for impeccable taste.
Hahahaha. +1 SB for you.
You didn't mess up. Email HR, explain that you're clearly now solid on the path to becoming a true BSD, and demand a retention bonus. Then go into the MD's office while he's still crying and pee all over it. This way he'll know who's the real boss and who the office really belongs to. He'll never dare to check your DCF models again.
You made your MD cry! Now you have the upper hand in that relationship because he knows you can whoop his ass. Take advantage of your alpha male status, that's my advice.
The "go get your own bleeping coffee" thread was better.
Pics or it didn't happen.
HAHAH BRO THAT ONLY MEANS ONE THING: HE HAD IT COMING.... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAH BE A MAN AND SHRUG IT OFF SLAP HIM ON THE BACK AND SAY ITS OK, IF HE ACTS OUT CALL HIM OUT AS A BITCH... EITHER WAY YOU ARE HEDGED
i smell a steaming pile of horse shit ... why would anyone in their right mind WANT to go to Cleveland? that's like saying I could try and get some seriously hot strange tonight, but instead I am going to stay home and "Netflix & Chill" with Betty White.
"If you can make God bleed, the people will cease to believe in him. And there will be blood in the water. And the sharks will come."
OP is a fucking shark. Cleveland doesn't stand a chance.
I'm an ECM intern and where we work we have a soccer ball tied to a rope, which you can kick around without it flying everywhere breaking windows and stuff. Every banker kicks it around once in a while, even the MD's love to kick the ball at everyone.
So, on my first day, I just tried to fit in the team by kicking the ball as well, and I accidentally kicked it right in the nuts of a director...
Don't worry about it, shit like this happens all the time everywhere... xD
Heard the clubs in Cleveland are struggling to stay afloat now that Johnny Manziel is gone.
Call up the media and pledge allegiance to ISIS for this terror attack.
If everyone blames workplace bloopers on ISIS, we can turn the organization into the laughingstock it deserves to be.
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