Anyone Dealt With Dorky Roommates??

So, I moved to a new city in March and moved in with a friend of a friend who happened to have an open room in his apartment. He was only there on the weekends and seemed nice enough. A few months after I moved in we were sitting in the living room watching television when he ripped a huge fart. I was disgusted but thought hell that kind of stuff happens and realized he was probably embarrassed so I laughed and he joked it off. I had no idea the can of worms that had been opened by this. After that moment it was a full on gas factory at the apartment. I've never seen anyone take so much pride in belching and farting all over the place, laughing like a moron while doing it. It was terrible but I only had to deal with it a few days a week and my rent was next to nothing so I dealt with it.

In July a friend of his wanted to go for a three bedroom apartment. Same deal with him being out during the week and we would be saving even more money on rent. Fair enough I thought.... Huge mistake because these guys make Tri-Lambs look like alpha males! The vernacular of the apartment has became nothing but "that's what she said" jokes and other assorted forms of douchiness (e.g. saying brownchickabrowncow while leering at girls in the apartment complex). A few weeks ago was the final straw. I came into the living room from my bedroom and shit you not I see my roommate with his ass in the air attempting to light one of his farts on fire!! This dude is 28 years old and lighting his freaking farts on fire! I went back to my room and quarantined myself from the remainder of the evening.

These guys are both really nice but just amazingly dorky. Any advice on how to get through the remainder of my lease with these goons?

 
redrocksky:

Do they act normal around others outside of the house?

They actually do and sometimes even bring good looking girls around, unsurprisingly they're always just friends. It's just the behind the scenes things that are driving me crazy. There will even be time when I'll start thinking these guys aren't as bad as I thought and then they'll do something gay as hell like rocking out to Miley Cyrus (singing and dancing along).

 
TNA:

Start looking for a new apt. I'd become aggressive towards them as they are obviously wimps.

Maybe it's just me but I never feel good about beating down wimps. Basketball is an exception though.

[quote=mbavsmfin]I don't wear watches bro. Because it's always MBA BALLER time! [/quote]
 
B4SH:

Start looking for a new apt. I'd become aggressive towards them as they are obviously wimps.

Maybe it's just me but I never feel good about beating down wimps. Basketball is an exception though.

I'm not saying kick their ass, but I am saying put your foot down regarding this. I'd tell them it is done and if it happens again you knock whatever they have out of their hands and get in their face. They are acting like kids, you treat them like kids.

Either way the goal is to move out. So start planning that. This will just make you feel better in the mean time.

 
Best Response

If you are not happy with your living situation, you will not be happy with your life. Period.

You have to get out of there.. Assuming you live in a decent size city, it is always possible to find a replacement to take over the lease from you. But you have to get your current roommates to support you to make the new person feel welcomed into the apartment. Hence, you need to make nice - or at least be cordial with these guys.

Go look at a handful of apartments right now so you will at least have an idea of what is out there, what it is priced at, and where you can afford to live so that when the time comes you have a good idea of where you want to go.

Get this done asap. I remember when I was in a dysfunctional roommate situation, Thankfully, it was only for a few months but I literally started counting down the days till the lease ended.

I would personally choose to live alone in an cheaper area (not ghetto) than have roommates I have not known from before in a posh area.

 

Did you just move out of Victorian England? Who cares if they fart in their home and sing along to Miley songs, maybe be a little less judgmental. Or you can move out so you can make sure your living space is totally orderly and "cool" and normal. That way you can find a respectable blonde girl from a good family who will be impressed by your cool space. Then you can move to Connecticut, have a few bratty kids, grow old and die.

 

OP isn't living in a fraternity house at this point, he is a professional and holds his roommates to that standard. Imagine trying to bring other friends or girls back to your place, but being worried that your roommates could be lighting their farts on fire as you walk through the door.

 
moosen:

Did you just move out of Victorian England? Who cares if they fart in their home and sing along to Miley songs, maybe be a little less judgmental. Or you can move out so you can make sure your living space is totally orderly and "cool" and normal. That way you can find a respectable blonde girl from a good family who will be impressed by your cool space. Then you can move to Connecticut, have a few bratty kids, grow old and die.

Or maybe the OP isn't a fucking scumbag. Roommates are pigs and he should move out. Have fun shitting your pants and fucking high school graduates.

Seriously, you're giving this dude shit for wanting to move out? Once you get past the age of 22 this guy's roommates behavior will not be acceptable.

 

This is so lame; just make weird, suggestive remarks that'll make him stop.

"God, I love the smell of your farts. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't breathe them in every day."

Ah but seriously you're the nerd. Just tell him to knock it off.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

who cares if your roommates pass gas and (probably jokingly) jam out to miley cyrus except for the lighting farts on fire part, it doesn't sound that horrible if it's that big of a deal, then just move out when possible

 

Wow OP, I 100% agree with you. Those guys are total scum. I mean seriously, I bet they can't do anywhere close to your 1000 stomach crunches. Or what about their face routines? Do they even put on an ice-pack, moisturizer, and anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion? /s

But seriously. Move out if your type-A lunacy can't put up with their "dorky" behavior.

By the way, I heard Dorsia is lousy anyway - that tool Paul Allen can suck a dick.

 

Posts like this are a great way of flushing out the fact that the majority of this site is below the age of 24. Try bring a woman around this. Also, guys get drunk, horse around, talk shit, etc. Lighting farts and giggling everytime you have a bodily noise is both ignorant and immature.

 

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