Just wondering how you guys feel about dating girls also in finance (any kind).
I know we get shit on a lot (hey hey, Leveraged Sellout) but seriously, it's hard to win.
You're too nice, people shit on you/patronize you/hit on you inappropriately. Too competitive, people hate you and think you're bitchy/trying to "be one of the guys."
We want to be BSDs too... success is attractive, no?
Totally ready for your trolling, but hopefully some thoughtful opinions too.
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I could never date a woman who makes more money than me. Also, dating a BSD does not sound enjoyable from my perspective, no.
hahahahahahhahahhahahahahaha
I'd be JUST FINE with that. More money to spend... You got to think about the value of being a DINK.
im 22 and not in finance yet... but im trying to bed this 38 year old Wholesale Mutual Fund Saleswoman... lol September 29 we're going to dinner... lol this will be my first 30 something ahahahahaha
Most guys in the industry have no interest in dating someone who sleeps as little as they do, as stressful a job, demanding a schedule, and jaded a worldview.
I get that, yet a lot of lawyers marry lawyers, doctors marry doctors...
Any anyway, not every finance job is 100 hours weeks/stress.
I hit anything that's easy.
You can't be dating someone if you never see each other.
Success is attractive to guys in finance when they aren't looking for wife material because they know that her career is ultimately going to take precedence over the relationship and the guy can mess around/have a good time and still have something to fall back on.
For a guy in finance (most anyway), a wife is someone to take care of the home and kids while the man goes out and becomes a BSD and has a career.
Not saying this is true for every man, but it is definitely the norm from what I have experienced.
agree. the norm i've seen from senior people is almost always one where the man's career takes priority.
op - i see where you're coming from; success, and the personality that derives from those who strive so can make a finance woman 'easier' to date in many ways. dating someone in the industry is easier in many ways -- the way the two people think, make decisions, and ability to afford things (ie guy doesnt have to feel obligated to cover everything). also, it's always fun to watch a very logical and driven man to argue with a completely type B woman.
i've seen both case: 1. the man directly goes for a teacher/low-stress-job woman; it makes perfect financial sense for her to quit her job to care for the children, vs. if she works and the couple lays for daycare.
i'm not saying it's expected or makes more sense for the woman to quit, but it is just the norm i've seen on every senior person who literally had the exact same position (ie. salestrader at different desks, same bank) but only the man stayed in the industry.
agreed
Re-read the question you posed and give the following statement more than a passing thought.
If I wanted a big swinging dick, would I be looking for a woman?
What men look at as being attractive (non-physical) and what women look at as being attractive are two completely diverging paths having very little and often nothing to do with one another.
I meant figuratively BSD...
I don't understand why guys have the "I need to marry a woman who makes less than I do, to take care of the kids" attitude. Most wealthy couples I know outsource the parenting anyway, even as early as preschool.
Maybe I just have a different world in PE/investment management... I know a lot of baller women who have families, husbands who make just as much, have good lifestyles. They seem happier than the BSD IB guy with the stay-at home wife. Just my 0.02 though.
I know what you meant, I also told you to ponder a serious comment masquerading as humor. You did not do this, you dismissed my point. Dismissing a man's point in conversation is to us what having your cleavage ogled mid conversation is to you, a sign of disrespect and the lack of potential for long term relationship sustainability.
Who said that they do? Nobody but you. Projection is a sign of a fundamental inability to face reality. Very few men today, (specifically, American men) have the sort of deprived and twisted attitude towards women you wish to attribute to them. Your problem lies in not comprehending the biological differences between genders and your wish for eons of evolution to conform to your wants.
The reality is that women want men who can support them, this does not make you a gold digger it is, however, reflective of human genetic/biological/fiscal/social and evolutionary history. On the other side of the same token, men want women who can birth/nurture/raise children and be supportive of them in their efforts, which very much equates to the same thing, support. This doesn't preclude you having a job, being a success or making a lot more money if that is the case. What it does preclude is the notion that you can compete for a man, by acting like one.
You live in the self deluded world of the "modern woman" who thinks that she can change biology, evolution and reality all the while denying herself the most beautiful aspects of femininity which she attempts to define as: weak/subservient/incapable, etc. As to your analysis of other people's familial lifestyles it points to the same perspective as all of your previous comments. You do not want to understand anything or have your question answered, you want your opinions reinforced and your delusions rationalized.
That's it right there. I don't think outsourcing the parenting is an acceptable thing to do. One parent gone all day and the other gone 8...okay, but two parents hardly at home leaves the kid emotionally disconnected in my view. What's the point of giving your children all the material benefits of wealth if they don't have basic emotional nourishment?
Pardon me for digressing, but this makes me think of the two analysts I get along with the least at work. They both grew up wealthy, one with two doctors for parents, the other in the single parent household of a real estate mogul. They are both highly intelligent and remarkably charming if they feel like it but their inability to empathize borders on psychopathy. I'm being a bit extreme, but, my point is, I for one wouldn't want to raise kids like that.
I am ok with daiting women in finance, law, medicine, or whatever time consuming career. But I cant see myself long-term with someone if I cant picture them having the time to take care of my children.
I'm attracted to women that don't love me and tell me to leave after I've finished doing nasty, dirty things to them...
My question is would YOU want to date a guy in finance after reading their responses? :)
It seems like there are a bunch of twinkie dicks in this thread... :D
Haha maybe a few but my overall experience has been it's all talk. The ones that want the housewives can marry the housewives. To each his own. And the posters I met up with at a happy hour last summer were all sweet as pie. Just worry about finding someone that likes you for you - the ones that want someone they see as less than themselves are probably a good indicator of not being the guy you want to spend significant time with.
Stay away. Just stay away
venturecapitalista, if I were still in Boston I'd take you out.
Well done, Cleric.
@ OP coming from someone who broke in to finance not too long ago and Is dating someone in PE aka finance. I find it a lot easier to date someone who melts me like butter and can manage to keep my brain firing all cylinders since we have a lot in common. The only downside is that we talk about work a little too much and sometimes it gets to me. We dont really get to see each other much (maybe once a week or every other) but it makes the time we spend in each others arms a higher quality experience. It's nice to date someone who comes from a good family and has class; as oppossed to all the other hookers that you can pick up anywhere on any given night.
Well, I don't make 6 figures yet, so that might have something to do with my POV as well.
It may be very immature of me but I'd like to be able to prove that I can support the household financially while being able to provide gifts, travel, shopping sprees, etc. To rely on your girlfriend/wife to be your financial backer is demoralizing, while being able to support her financially is personally rewarding. I find that my pride plays a large part in how I interact with the opposite sex, and if I cannot be proud financially, it seaps its way into my day-to-day.
And again, as far as men wanting to date a BSD, I think Midas summed it up best. I don't want to think of my significant other as any kind of dick, figurative or not.
And that's why children are monsters they become... Outsourced Parenting + Money + Lack of involvement in your child's education (and no, paying for tutors doesn't count) and moral and ethical development is part of the reason why I have no desire to raise children without the involvement of both myself and my eventual spouse.
To be honest, and to answer your question, I really wouldn't care if my SO were in Finance, Law or Medicine, or most other careers,as long as we both have time to commit to properly raising children. And that is the operative phrase. If my SO wants to have a career, I'm all for it. If she makes more than me, who cares! If your ego is that bruised over who makes more, then you have insecurities to deal with before you look at dating and marriage. If my SO wants to stay at home and leave me as the primary bread winner, so be it. As long as we both have time to commit to properly raising our kids, the rest is just the small stuff.
@venturecapitalista- Thank you for proving my point. Most guys (myself included) are not ok with "outsourcing" parenting duties. That's not the attitude of a caring mother.
I had absentee parents that worked in demanding careers. During college, I would spend hollidays with my ex-gf's family because my family was either too busy or too apathetic. Seeing the contrast between a functional household and mine was eye-opening.
I already have a pretty demanding career and I know I will have to sacrifice time with my family. So I need a wife who can spend the time I cant to raise my children. My $0.02.
I'm not okay outsourcing parenting either (to just one parent, too)... but I am saying that rich couples do it (regardless of who's earning the bacon). In fact, I seem to observe that's especially true of families with one high-income earner, but that's just my very small sample set. It's a big problem, definitely agree there. Whatever the arrangement, kids need to be with their parents.
Also, by pushing raising your children onto your wife/eventual wife, you ARE outsourcing parenting duties.
I just really dislike when it's automatically assumed the wife will be "family" oriented and the husband "career" oriented. That's exactly the dynamic I had growing up... a dad who was rarely around, especially when I was a teenager... and it's not much better emotionally than having two busy parents. When my mom was around to do activities with me, all I could think about was why dad forgot my birthday again.
I get career is a big part of manhood in America and many parts of the world, but for highly educated women it is too. I think both spouses need to compromise and figure out what each needs to be happy. I think the dynamic of father working, mom giving kids support is honestly outmoded and probably contributes to a lot of unhappiness... hence why so many women give 100% of their energy to the kids and the marriage falls apart.
I have dated girls who were also in Finance, but I married a girl who is not in Finance. I found that I never really meshed well personality wise with another Finance girl long-term b/c it was a lot of alpha v alpha going on and we always tended to fight.
I like the successful outgoing girl, and success is attractive to a degree, but it takes a different personality type to be a girl in Finance and make it as opposed to another career track. That just didn't fit in well with my personality.
My wife has a career, but it's not anywhere in the same neighborhood as Finance. I don't think I would care about her making more than me, but it's hard to say if I would feel that way if that were the case.
I dated a few finance girls back before I met my wife, who is just as ambitious and smart as people in finance but works in another industry.
Over the short term, I never had any issues with dating girls in finance, although it was always hard to find time for the relationship. The issue in the long run is that ultimately someone's career is going to have to take precedence for the couple. If a new opportunity comes up in a different city for one of you, how do you decide whether or not to move for it? Seemingly small but important day to day decision will have to be made, and you will likely have to decide which person's career is more important to the couple. If you are both equally ambitious, it can lead to problems.
Some successful girls I know in finance tend to date more artsy type guys, while others I know have married finance guys and seem to be happy with their decisions. It's less about the career choices of your mate and more about how you both, as a couple, choose to manage your lives together. The issue is that when a conflict comes up, ultimately someone is going to have to cave. If you are both type-A personalities, this can be difficult.
I don't date people from the financial industry. When I come home or spend time with her, I don't want to be reminded of work. Co-workers calling at odd hours, how conversations tend to gravitate towards work when something pops up in the media, etc. Believe it or not, most people who have done this for a while tend to cherish their time off.
I generally think most people suck/are boring, and boring, shitty people have nothing to talk about much, thus talk about what they do all day (lacking outside interests, eg).
I don't think finance is any different than most industries in that regard, maybe apart from the sheer number of hours spent at it.
Of course there are boring people in this world, and the most boring people I can think of are my collegue's in banking. 'I made a whole FCF model from scratch today. I had a client meeting today. I punched in numbers in Excel.' http://www.thestandard.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/funny-pictures…
Yeah, I would. Besides physical appearance, I want someone who's intelligent and ambitious. Having someone who can understand the hours and my job would be a definite plus.
@venturecapitalista- I don't necessarily assume that all women should be stepford wife/soccer moms, and most normal guys dont. But I will need a housewife in order to have the type of famly I want.
If you're a career-oriented woman who's driven by success, more power to you. But you're going to have to sacrifice in other ways in order to have the life you want, just like everbody else.
Are they good looking and good company?
That's all there is to it.
Marriage isn't even on the table at this point, so who the hell cares if they work a lot.
I absolutely LOVE hooking up w/ finance chicks. Specifically chicks who have superior pedigree and backgrounds to me. Been a few dudes, but most have been crazy in the sack. They're any easy take down due to almost infinite talking points, know my jokes will work, and also know that by in large they're fairly sex deprived.
I very easily could see myself with a finance chick long term, and would by all means be cool with making less. Hey more time playing golf for me. A lot of guys worry about the whole Alpha male thing w/ making less. I say real Alpha males don't need to make a dime. If you're a badass she'll recognize and give you that money. However just knowing finance chicks, would be very difficult if you weren't at least in a respectable position by her jobs standards. Preferably two jobs that wouldn't be apples to apples. Thinking chick - head of ECM at a BB and bro - Sr. E&P Analyst at like a really chill long only asset manager.
story please
Yeah.. this sounds interesting...
I hate it when the chicks I'm trying to "take down" end up being dudes. That's the worst.
.
Absolutely. I'd prefer someone who is as busy as me and am definitely attracted to someone successful.
@stringer bell: Were the dudes you were with other analysts or higher up people?
i think he meant dud's...
I think he meant Duds... not Dudes.
:)
i smiled now some 1 quote me
ty
I should caveat this with saying that I've always liked working with guys over girls. Girls in finance are bitches for the most part. I only read every other comment in this thread but obviously wanted to weigh in.
Personally, I prefer dating guys in finance - they tend to me more ambitious, motivated, and confident than a lot of guys I've met from other industries. I'll probably get flamed for this, but I'm not sure I would want to date a guy who makes less than I do (and since i"ve been working, that bar has become higher and higher). I'm a girl who still likes to be treated like one and often, a lot of guys treat finance girls differently because they automatically assume they're making money (which they are).
A good friend of mine offered his perspective. "Guys..don't like having their egos challenged every day. If you date a girl in finance, that tends to be what happens." The relationship sometimes becomes toxic because all you do is complain about work, people you work with, etc. Then again, I do know a lot of guys who are looking for smart, ambitious girls (versus the stay-at-home mom). I'm sure there's a balance between the two but not sure where you find it.
That being said, it might be time for me to start looking in other fields (medicine, law, etc.).
This ^
That's kind of what I was saying earlier. I just found that I didn't mix well with a Finance girl because our personalities would really clash. I like successful women, and my wife is successful in another career far from Finance, and we do not have anything close to the issues I had when dating Finance girls. My wife bitches about her work, but I don't mind listening because it has nothing to do with what I do. I also like the fact that I can bitch about whatever I want, and her having no idea what spreads/rates/etc are, she just listens if I need to vent instead of offering some analysis about it.
This is a great point. Very valid.
I will point out that just because two people are in finance doesn't mean they are really all that similar. I dated a guy at a HF and since I work with almost exclusively private investments, half the time I only have a econ major/CFA grasp on what he bitched about. They can be worlds apart.
Marry a Stanford resident surgeon.
WIN THE GAME.
Even better, just don't bitch about work. Leave work at work.
You sound like a couple of my ex's. Some independent women never pick-up or even split the tab on dates, regardless if they make more or less. What's up with that?
Then again, one of my ex's bought me a new xbox when my old one broke...chicks are just weird like that I guess?
Nope, I'm perfectly happy to split/pick up the tab if we were dating, but if you're "courting" me, I would expect the guy to pick up the tab. Call me old-fashioned, but I like guys who were brought up right. A lot of boys (and yes, I mean boys) think it's acceptable to have girls split tabs, etc. on the first date, especially in this day and age.
Completely agree with this post.
I hate to say it, because it certainly doesn't help our cause, but I generally like working with guys over girls too. I don't have enough data points, but the senior women I've worked with are generally extremes. Either they are really cool - super successful, humble, very chill (people I see as role models and examples of what I would like to become)... or they are super bitchy, and even though we've got several levels between us (as in, I'm not going to compete with her for her job), they see me as some threat, or act in a very condescending manner.
I would also prefer to date someone that makes the same amount or more... or is as ambitious/more in his respective industry. But I do remember a NY centered article on finance women not minding the sugar mama role... if I can find it I will post.
I'm always surprised the number of women who say this (of all professions).
Not surprising at all to me. And its not just professional women, I've been around enough sorority girls to hear that too often.
Girl psychology can be pretty fuckin weird.
Nothing dries up a woman's vagina more than her reaching for her wallet. Any money you spend on dick is a bad investment. Dick is free, pussy costs money. - Chris Rock
I think women having more equality is great, but it has to be across the fucking board. You can't pick and choose.
Would I date a girl in Finance ?
Hell yea babe, how you doooooin ????
I don't have a problem with an ambitious woman amd I wouldn't rule out dating someone in finance (have dated consultants, accountants, and lawyers but never a front-office financier), but I don't think I would want to date someone in the same field. There are a bunch of negatives:
1) Narrow Range of Interests: My girlfriend is very intelligent, ambitious and successful but it's very different from what I do and so we have a wide range of topics to discuss. I spend a lot of my time in and out of the office living and breathing finance, markets, etc plus a lot of my friends are in some form of finance or related field.
2) Potential for Jealousy/Competition: I know a handful couples (married and/or dating) where one partner is insecure because of the other's greater success at their job. That can come from either gender-I've dated women who made more than me who I definitely got the feeling weren't comfortable with it/would have preferred I made more, though these cases were also usually women who were my age or older and in NY younger men in a relationship is pretty uncommon.
3) Schedule incompatibility: My girlfriend works a lot of hours but because of how it's structured it's a lot easier for us to make plans and keep them than if she were a lawyer, banker, etc.
I would love a sugar mama, HerSerependity/Kanon, holler at me. I give great massages.
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/date_works_hard_for_the_money_and…
I don't think there is a problem dating someone who is also in finance. Compatibility extends far, far beyond what someone does for work. Personally, I prefer a girl who is intelligent, driven, and successful in her career, almost to the point of it being a requirement. If this means she makes a lot of money, great, but at the end of the day I make enough that her income is not much of a consideration compared to the other traits.
Off course i would date, no problem with me as long as i do enjoy their company, like the way how their treat people around them , sexually attracted .... i don't care much about their profession..
your avatar should be the riddler not batman.
^^^oh, flake did you had your protein shake with testosterone, tonight ?? )))) LOL
lol what???? lol
Investor relations chicks at PE firms and HFs --- that's where the talent is at. Stick it out for 2 years in IBD and then move over to a place like Park Hill or a group within the bank that raises capital for funds... or in house at a fund.... people will date you. That's a very feminine, non-intimidating position. But it's also still a very respectable, cool position. And I'd love to date a chick that works in that function.
this thread had potential but quickly devolved into a vaginafest about raising the kids, paying the bills, and all that beta boy shit that has nothing to do with dating.
time to put some chest hair back on this thing
as a rule, i would not date a chick in finance
now that i got that out of the way 99% of the college boys can stop reading because that is what you wanted to know
chicks who go into finance are generally sociopaths. they are not well in the head. this could make for some amusing neuroses, but all neuroses get old eventually, amusing or not. really, i deal with enough backstabbers not to have to deal with one at home. i am willing to date a slightly dumb schoolteacher over a finance chick just so i can get some psychic downtime when i am not at work. i didn't like 99% of the people i worked with in finance. why the fuck would i want to take one of them home with me?
chicks who go into finance are generally not that hot. look around. there's a upper limit around the low 7s. don't throw counterexamples at me, i know all about that one S&T chick who was a model, blah blah. the field is crowded with flat chested engineering dorkettes and somewhat doable chicks with just enough missing that you say nah for the same trouble i want to aim higher.
that said, banker girlies can always get access to local meat pole, because you are surrounded by 22-year old guys, who, even if endowed with some sense of game, are still putting poon on the pedestal. by the time they hit their exit ops though they have aged at 3x the rate of their low-stress counterparts. it is not good. a 30yo i know, ex-GS, looks like she is 50. by way of contrast, i know a 45yo in some easy ass government job who looks like she is in her mid 20s.
in closing, if i were to date a finance chick, it would be despite all of these factors.
As long as both people can leave work at work, then who cares. I think it would be a nice change to have a girlfriend who understood what I did for a living and more importantly, that I need to make the most of my free time.
I expect my future wife to be my oasis from the crap that you must endure day in and day out on the job (and in our world today)...and this is exactly what my current gf is and I love every minute I spend with her b/c she makes me forget about all the shit, for the lack of a better word.. Btw, she is very ambitious but at the same time realizes that she can't have her cake and eat it too as in having family and awesome career. I think eventually she will choose the family b/c that's what would make her the most happy in the end. I know this part sucks b/c we as men can have a family and still be ambitious in our careers but unfortunately that's life for women.
Why would anyone want a wife that would constantly remind them of work? Most likely, in such a scenario where both are finance ppl, one or both ppl are narcissistic and doesn't give a damn about anyone else...what kind of relationship is that? Outsourcing kids??? C'mon man, that's whats wrong with the world today. Your wife is supposed to balance you out and i believe balance is the key to everything in life
Also, it seems like more and more now days women are trying to act Type A to make up for their inferiority they feel around men b/c of course they want to feel physically equal (unfortunately, that's not how biology works) and less men are the alpha type? It's like each sex is trending in the opposite direction and we're slowly becoming a very apathetic society.
To the OP,
Hello, I'm the geeky guy you never looked at at school, and while I'm in prop shop trading (algo side - will never apply to a bank, not that I'd get in), having been to nothing but boys school, competitive environments in male dominated activites (chess, strategy games, bridge etc.) all the way into university (80% male -.-) I do feel well equipped ( couldnt resist -CR) to answer this with logic and reason (something your gender lacks (again C.R.)).
Why do men go into finance: To earn more than the next guy and feel important because we're insecure. Who the fuck likes not seeing daylight, their friends, hobbies or loved ones for that amount of hours. Most hate their work, (perversely I love it, but that's cos I love logic puzzles, and couldn't care less about the PnL unless its something quirky that caused it.
To quote a very true comedian: The first man on the moon only did it so he could go up to girls and say, did you see that?
If they go through all that effort, to just hear that she's above you in rank and earnings is a huge nutshot (again, you couldn't know how that feels but imagine childbirth, with twins, at the same time), and more importantly, rattles the confidence, and we dont feel good about ourselves. Why? I like spending money on my girlfriend, its nice to know in a superficial way that I can provide for her in the odd way. I like feeling that my hours at work are worth it, and you earning so much removes that insecure based pleasure. Do not underestimate how pervasive and strong an effect that is. If you were earning more than they are, then resign to have kids, I guarantee you'd notice a significant difference between him before and after, he'd man up for starters.
Secondly, look at the evidence. As a female columnist once said in one of the best newspaper articles i've ever read, the problem with having it all, is doing it all. Becoming a completely independent person makes it difficult for someone else to feel they are contributing to your life. Even if you are independent, asking for help in things you dont need help in, will have positive results, I guarantee you. Plus it makes your life easier and you do more stuff together (it's the little things that matter - I keep telling her anyway (Obligatory penis joke)).
More evidence: Look at Stephen Hawking (Professor dude), look at who he married, and what happened, and the reasons given for the divorce. She wanted to be known in her own right, as she was a very able scientist herself, but was constantly in his shadow. Dont be so ignorant to think the wheelchair was the reason, he had given consent to have physical relationships with other people. Yes there are other factors, but its an important mindset to be aware of. IF that is you, you put your happiness at risk, if you date hugely successful people.
If you are the sole breadwinner, then if you have kids, your income and quality of life will fall off a cliff, an incentive to not have a family, (or to delay until its too late).
If you put career over finding a partner, you could very well be looking at what's left on the shelf. Marriage takes time and effort, working that hard will drain you, and make it very hard to maintain a relationship/marriage. Dont think it wont apply to you, look at the evidence.
Final word of warning, rich guys can get younger women and marry them. Older women find it real hard to do so. The worst gender discrimination in the world is also legal. I can casually date until I feel ready and then marry someone awesome who looks good. You cannot. Your looks will fade, uterus will dust up (thanks Steve Carrell) and that is, sadly, and important factor in a relationship, to him and you. Male looks are less important to a woman (to a point).
Every cloud has a silver lining. If you critically look at yourself, and highlight your personality based on evidence, not what you'd like to be like, you can predict which major issues will appear in your life and be ready/evade them.
Get a number (mine is 1-800-BRAD-PITT), and when you hit it, get out, switch to a job role that enables you to work in that way.
identify your personality, and avoid conflict dating later in life. If you get home from work regularly, and you aren't happy, get the hell out.
Lean on people from time to time. It helps, (evidence on this forum) there are lot of people who want to help, but don't want to ask.
Best of luck.
The Ugly Duckling
^^^ well said +1
Give me a break. If there is attraction, it shouldn't matter what a person's job/title is. If a girl is fun, attractive and confident, I wouldn't be so close minded as to disqualify her just because she's in finance. In my opinion, that is below a truly confident man who is comfortable enough with himself to acknowledge that a good mate/lay isn't defined by her profession.
For you guys urgently looking for a perfect homebody to take care of the nest, take a ride back to the 1950's. Enjoy your youth and being single while it lasts... what's with this rush to make babies?
Exactly, why the rush to be in a relationship with someone when life offers so much more at this time! I'd rather make a decent amount of money and enjoy casual hookups in my early 20s. Relationships and marriage discussion can wait!
Islandbanker, you gonna take that shit?
I mean I guess I wouldn't mind what my girl does,
1) as long as she is happy
2) she make a gooooood sammich
haha jk jk. I mean it all depends if it is only us two then fine, but if we make love-droppings (babies), then i would say that one of us would need to take off ( the one that is least successful.) Another point is that women are BORN better at this nurturing aspect of life sooooooo I guess it would make some more sense if she did the housework. ANOTHER THING..........WHEN US MEN SAY THIS ITS NOT LIKE WE ARE SAYING BE OUR SLAVE!!! MAINTAINING THE HOUSE/KIDS/BILLS/YOUR MAN IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY AND IT IS AS HARD AS PROFESSIONALLY WORKING. I hate when woment think I am being sexist or some shit because I think they are better at doing the housework than guys...... its a gift.....please use it
Had some wonderful times with front office girls. It is really quite refreshing to date a woman who doesn't think most of your pay ought to be given to unemployed bums, and who understands what work means.
Success IS attractive if you're relaxed about it.
ivoteforthatguy nailed it. There needs to be no further discussion on the topic.
To date someone they only have to be hot. Nothing else matters really. Even a bad personality can be overlooked. Marriage is an entirely different animal and I'd never marry a woman who thinks raising children is outsourceable. To be marriage material you needn't be hot but attractive (i.e. at least a 6/10), know how to cook, and be willing to raise the children like a proper mother, which means doing all the domestic work while I bring home the bacon and take care of all the bills.
I would definitely date a female financier. They usually are bright, stunning and have a lot of drive, as to she_monkey's point, some of don't want children, so there isn't the issue of giving up a job.
Hahahahaha. "I smelled it in your purse before I even parked my car, I ate it already, and now I hate everything!"
Holy shit Richie LOL.
@islandbanker: it's the same guy, he just went feral. Also, I'm on my phone and I accidentally hit "flag as spam" when trying to quote your post. Just sayin, in case you see it.
Success in any industry is attractive.
A women's being intellectually and emotionally intelligent is also attractive, and if a guy is intimidated by a higher-earning woman, you're better off without his insecurity, which does not bode well for a career in this industry anyway.
iloveicecream...
I also love ice cream. That's why I'm here with news for you: you know they have a pre-natal test for Downs Syndrome these days, right?
Seriously--you write like you're distracted by your body's internal fight with that extra chromosome you so clearly have.
venturecapitalista...
I have no problem dating women in finance. Who cares what they do? I am not going to listen to them anyway. Even if I cared to listen (which--to be clear--I do not), they would likely spout nothing but non-sensical, unintelligible drivel as they attempted to make their points with a ball gag in their mouths. I know you've been there, so I don't need to tell you how hard it is to be 'fake raped' and an 'alpha' all at the same time.
Hahah.
I doubt the OP is asking about marriage.
I'd personally avoid finance girls as it is very nice to associate with people outside the banking bubble. And it's much easier if you have a girl who has time for a social life and can help you plan things given your hours.
Saying that, often non-finance girls just can't make sense of the hours and demands of the job.
I'd go for the sales girls though, they know everybody on the street and they are usually attractive, educated, and social. And they work good hours.
Changed my mind, I'd date a girl in finance.
I probably would never date anyone in my industry. I'm overly competetive (as most should be in this industry) and I'd probably spend more time competing with him than actually building a good relationship. Besides, the male ego wouldn't appreciate being beaten by a woman. Result? Messy.
^
i like that cockiness.
Dated a chick in my bank for about a year. Recently broke up and started dating a girl from a midwest state school who likes to party and has a normal job and time to go to the gym. She helped me remember that girls can be cool.
IU girls are awesome
^ Answer: I wouldn't. I would just date someone who had different goals than mine. I'm not saying I wouldn't respect someone working towards the same goal...I am saying I wouldn't like it. I am very proactive, and very supportive, but if you're both fighting for the same goal you're bound to get jealous or envious. Unless you both succeed at the same pace... but honestly, how likely is that?
what makes you successful in finance often makes you an impossible person to get along with.
exhibit A: divorce rates among your MDs
this is true of both sexes, and true of other high stress industries too, like law or medicine.
my GF is in an easy job, state schooler too. when i am out in the office til 4am fixing a few lines of code she tolerates it.
dated a physician chick before this. what i hated about that was that she spent all this energy fronting like she was so tough but she was a whiny, selfish, mean little brat when she was around me. sorry, i don't provide mental dumping ground services for anyone.
my boyfriend is an engineer and is equally as motivated and driven as I am, only in a different industry. So he gets it.
I'm a rare breed though, I don't take mental stress out on people... i go to the gym and take it out on the treadmill instead. No damage control the next day.
Actually, that's a pretty good idea - date someone who's a professional in another field to avoid competing with them. Then you still get the positives of having someone ambitious and smart.
Jesus you people are still going at it... :)
Meanwhile, I went on a date wtih an ex-banker couple days ago. Now after Top5 bschool, he's in startup land. He was way too interesting for BB IB anyway.
You guys need to find girls in finance who work easy hours, are interesting/attractive and have lives outside of work... they exist, I swear it!
I have my own norm of never to date someone from workplace. I did that once and I learnt my lesson hard. She would complain about everything ever since we had a break up and I got my work messed up because of her. I don’t like to talk about this, but I had to get her fired to get rid of her, I am not proud of such an act, but I had no option.
Haha nice.
Banking Girls -> unattractive for serious relationship?? (Originally Posted: 09/27/2013)
hello everybody since a while im reading the WSO forum. Im in Banking since 1 year. In university i had very good marks, good friends and everything was fine but i never had a boyfriend and if i say never i mean never ever in life. The point is i really want to know if its for you men a real turn of if a woman works successful in banking? In the last months i made the experience that men don't see me as a potential girlfriend. They see me more like a good friend or something like that and if im going to met someone and tell him about my job he becomes scared or feels miserable ...
Im not unattractive i have a good body and im well dressed with good manners. Let me hear your thoughts, maybe it will help me
Guys who aren't in banking are probably insecure that you have a better job than them (guys like being providers and having power) so they will not want to date someone who is more successful/makes more money
The guys that are doing banking know how tough it is and know the chances of it working are slim. Also they want to escape the job as much as possible, not go on dates with girls who are also bankers.
Kind of a crappy situation to be in, but it will get better. I'm sure it isn't anything about you
Men usually don't date women based on their resume. It's usually neutral to moderately positive depending on guy.
Girls however will not date down since they cant respect someone below them. For a girl respect=attractive.
What makes banker chicks poor gfs is because they narcissistic (insecure), materialistic, and have crappy social skills.
Also, working in banking is one of the quickest way to depreciate the only real asset men care about in a women, their looks.
There's a difference between dating down, and 'screwing' down. Lets not spread the false notion that money and a BSD job gets you all the honey.
well, doesn't sound good at all, but i guess the situation wont be better if i start lying about my job. being single for me is okay, i dont know anything else but in the last 1-2 years i start re-think and become sometimes really lonely, the most of my friends from university are in a long time relationship and sometimes especially when i have freetime i start becoming a bit sad. maybe time changes everything
What's your background
Background? personal o. job?
The problem is more you than the job, is my guess. Loosen up a little. Go out this weekend (get your drank on, as needed) and talk to as many people as possible. Try to be open to different types of people and don't judge everyone on their job. You might actually have fun by taking yourself out of your comfort zone.
WSO sponsors happy hours from time to time. Start there if you need to. I'm sure the female to male ratio will be heavily in your favor.
European - born in germany but livin in many different countries. i guess its true in contact with men im really insecure especially when it comes to dating at the office its no problem.
If you're the standard german girl ive met. My advice is: 1) smile. 2) lighten up on the rules/social expectations 3) learn to small talk 4) bake shit/cook
to smile is a problem:D i dont like it but yes i will give it a try, i have nothing to loose^^ but maybe it could be the problem that im really unexperienced...
This is a complicated issue better to discuss in person - PM me your number to discuss over coffee/drinks.
PM aren't possible without 10 "banana points" and im not sure if you're jokeing or not ^^
Just go out with your friends on the weekends and try to meet new people. Put on a smile, dress accordingly and try to be open to new people. It isn't that hard to be honest. However, it's hard to maintain or build a longer relationship in banking. So are you planning to stay in banking after your analyst stint? Viel Glück, wird schon werden ;)
Dankeschön, bist du gebürtig deutscher?;)
well, i will try to go out more often. its quiet hard when im not drunk im really insecure at partys, clubs or something like this because i think my friends have so many expectations what i will do, that i will meet someone ...
Generally speaking, it's tough for men in banking to date bankerellas (same reasons as listed above). There are exceptions out there, but this is few and far in between. What kind of guy makes you smile? What matters to you? And I have to ask - who do you resemble most - Heidi Klum, Diane Kruger, Claudia Schiffer, Steffi Graf or Katarina Witt?
Susan Boyle
I like grown men with a good sense of humour and he should have good hair and i really like well dressed men, but its not a must have. I really want someone who is honest with me, considerate and ambitious. I have a "little" "fetish" i love slicked back hair...^^ well i guess i resemble non of them^^
breh you just got 10 BP
Am I the only one who initially read this as "slicked backhair" instead of "slicked-back hair"?
10 BP?
Hey, let's get drinks and hang out.
Dibs first breh
Danke schon for your response... Has to have good hair? Ok, so that rules out anyone from Donald Trump's bloodlines. Well dressed? This country, for the most part, is casual compared with our European brethren (us Yanks still like wearing khakis). May I suggest bringing your smile and appetite to a WSO mixer OR spending some quality time with UFO or Scandal & getting some American male perspective?
My wife has always made more money than me (2X more) and had a more powerful job, it was same way with my mother and father (Mother was the Managing Director of a f100, Father was an on the road sales guy). I have never seen it as a bad thing, at times I wish I could make at least the same income, but when I start to think like that you know what I do? I go take a ride on my boat, watch my ridiculous TV, drive somewhere my awesome weekend car, and enjoy all the other "toys" that I would never have if my income was the primary. Find a guy and act as equals, there are those out there that will be just fine with it, if they are sure enough of themselves.
@femaleBB Are you working in Germany?
Currently, yes;)
I would join some type of group or attend events that you are interested in and are meant to be social (e.g., sport, cooking class, charity/volunteer work, etc.). These events may be easier to make a connection than just going out to a bar and relying on booze to do all the work. Do something non-work related and you will be around other people that have the same interest and it can be something to immediately talk about without getting into work. I don't even tell most people what I do when I meet them because I don't like to explain what I do even though I enjoy my work. I don't think that most people will even understand what you do outside finance just like I don't really understand what it is like to be some other type of professional outside finance because I don't perform their jobs on a daily basis.
German guys are generally well dressed & have good hair, no?
Yes, we are. And yes, we do. haha
they have? i didn't noticed;)
I think Dirk Nowitzki or Boris Becker is the benchmark we should use here...
How many kilograms (see I didn't use pounds) of schnitzel do you eat on average per day ?
I eat schnitzel everytime, breakfast, lunch, dinner, schnitzel made my life complete;)
what's up with all the ;)'s
Probably because OP is a male trying to pose as a hot foreign european female and elicit responses from all the insecure and money-crazed males on WSO.
Pretty sure it's swagon trolling all the guys in here.
Yes, the only one. ;) ;)
Trololol troll troll Trololol
No worries - Scandal is a bit upset b/c you're not a hot Asian female.
Where are you located? Bankfurt? Berlin?
PRETTY MUCH
scandal is havin an asian fetish right? i mean its obvious because of the pic. Bankfurt baby;)
Hahahaha, sometimes its very tough to tell who's who on here, but obvious troll is obvious.
I like how OP has "never had a boyfriend" but is "insecure while dating"...lol, definitely curious
Let's close this thread down before more prospective IBD hs/college kids get the wrong idea.
Wrong idea??
the thread is going to be off - topic i guess
OP are you hot?
the hottest thing on earth ;) but no, i would say im pretty & well dressed but a bit special not sure if everybody like that.
Move out come to NY ;).
Best troll on WSO in a long time.
it's a buyer's market for a decent-looking banking chick. there are plenty of thirsty junior bankers at any bank...most of whom have very limited options for various reasons.
Since i'm reading threads here I come to the conclusion that I never wanna date a banker. It's like double suicide. ;)
you guys come across way too desperate.
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