BB Interview Ari Gold Style

Some of you might know me, so I will be anon for today.
Had a BB final interview today for a SA in IBD. This was the final interview at my final and only destination. Rejected from every other place this session, this was it. The feeling of rejection one more time had scared me. I was vulnerable.
The night before, stayed up watching two seasons of Entourage as my preparation for this. I was ready. Walking in to the office, I am cool and collected, strolling like a boss. I felt like there is nothing I couldn't do. Check in with the secretary, tell her what's good. Everything seems normal, "feels good. Today feels good." I kept saying to my self.

Part 1
I am sitting, glancing at my watch, thinking to my self, "I will be successful, fuck I'll be the next Ari Gold." Huge mistake, my man. Huge mistake.
Get called up by the Associate, first time I see this chap. I introduce my self, he laughs. "You don't gotta impress me yet, man." I laugh, everybody is having a good time. He points me to the conference room and I stroll in, still feeling good.
Pen in hand, the MD is making notes of what appears to be a resume of the previous candidate or mine already. He tells me to sit. "So tell me about your self."
"FUCK, not again", I think to my self having been over this 20 times with other MDs. So I started my spiel. I went to school here, interned there. But then something took over me. I don't know what it was. I just sat there, in complete shock that I was lost. Took a good thirty seconds just sitting there, "oh, what the fuck?" I said to my self.

Part 2
I knew watching Entourage would pay off some day. Didn't it?
"Listen, I am the best guy for the job. I can do everything better than anyone out there on the floor." What the fuck was I saying, this is an MD after-all. He hired all those fuckers.
"At my last job, I worked twenty hours a day am just to be on top of my game. I'll do it better than them, trust me."
He didn't. The expression on his face of total and complete shock was engraved in my mind. He was offended, and I looked like a total jerk. "I don't think he understood, I'll try to clarify." I thought to myself.
"What I am trying to say is that, people out there, they don't know what's good. You gotta generate revenue or get the fuck out. All you gotta do is just let me show you. I will. I will show you, Glen. You know where to contact me."

 

There is a fine line between cockiness and self-confidence. This is what happened when you don't get enough sleep. By that moment, "I don't think he understood, I'll try to clarify", there is no turning back; you should have gone all the way.

"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
 
Best Response

ari gold is ur role model?

dude just yells all day, and then gets bitched by his wife... total pussy.

at least don draper doesn't cry about shit, he just drink and smokes it off. and fucks it off.

(hoping SBs from users with don draper avatar will balance MS from ari golds)

 

OP, this is how you break into DealBreaker, not BB IB.

Neighbor:
Kids, this is how you land an SA. Take notes.

Though I don't know your story, I see that you're marked as a prospective monkey. Thus, I feel fully comfortable within the context of my experience saying that this is definitely not how you fucking land it.

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 
Nouveau Richie:
OP, this is how you break into DealBreaker, not BB IB.
Neighbor:
Kids, this is how you land an SA. Take notes.

Though I don't know your story, I see that you're marked as a prospective monkey. Thus, I feel fully comfortable within the context of my experience saying that this is definitely not how you fucking land it.

Are you retarded? He was being sarcastic...

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

On a serious note, OPs problem is a more extreme case of a problem afflicting a lot of prosp Monkeys. They seem to think that analyst = baller. Ari Gold is a shitty example of what banking is like.

OP should have been emulating Lloyd.

 
triplectz:
On a serious note, OPs problem is a more extreme case of a problem afflicting a lot of prosp Monkeys. They seem to think that analyst = baller. Ari Gold is a shitty example of what banking is like.

OP should have been emulating Lloyd.

Lolz. Lloyd would have been a great banker

 
bortz911:
USCstudent26:
first of all, what BB are still doing recruitment?? is this for US? how is this possible....i thought all BB recruitment, especially for IBD, would be done by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good point, this dude is full of it

Agreed. However, If you did actually stay up late watching 2 seasons of entourage before your LAST chance at a summer internship, then you didn't deserve the SA position in the first place...

 

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