Hey everyone,
I've been struggling with this search for a while now. I don't think my standards are too specific but was wondering if any guys here want the same qualities I do.
I think most would agree that physical appearance is the most important of such qualities because that's the 1st thing we observe in each other. Beyond that, though, I find more and more females have become too impressionable due to exposure to pop culture.
As a 21 year old, I feel that myself and others are in an increasingly losing situation. Some of the things I look for:
-No "clubbing": I think this speaks for itself.
-Lack of grandiose tattoos: It seems more and more are going this way.
-Fakeness: Plastic surgery and excessive use of warpaint (makeup) are huge turnoffs.
-Doesn't smoke/Do Drugs/Only Drinks w/ Moderation: Same as the clubbing bullet.
-Good moral foundation: There is something to be said about those who haven't been sold into accepting society's trash and movements such as rap/hip-hop culture infiltrating suburban America.
-Independent: No hipster/frat/artsy/trendy/etc...Just simple,stylish, and elegant who owns a lot of dresses.
-Preferably NOT in the Financial Services Industry.
Ideally, I guess this is the blueprint for someone I'd eventually like to start a family with (cooking skills=MUST, lol). I have my own opinions regarding who the culprit is for this transformation but am interested in having a discussion what others think. Am I setting myself up for disappointment or am I being too cynical?
Aren't there churches in New York? Join one
My trick exactly when I was 16.
you want these things as a 21 year old? im around there and id want the exact opposite, for now :D
I think I saw a misprint, this says you're 21 years old.
Try Utah.
the south?
Bingo.
Basically you want someone who doesn't express herself in any way except through a Martha Stewart-esque kitchen. And looks to you to add any sembelance of excitement to her life (where should we go tonight? tell me how the world works!).
Personally, I think that makes for a really boring relationship- to the point of why have her around at all.
But to answer your question- this is going to be pretty hard to find- because essentially what you're looking for is a girl that hasn't gone out on her own into the world (for better or for worse- clubbing, makeup, drinking, drugs, fashion, trendy culture- can only be avoided these days if a girl is living a pretty sheltered life).
PS- Of course, there is another breed of girl- those that have gone out into the world, but have chosen to completely forsake liberal 20s-something lifestyle. Also pretty rare- likely the only reason for this is religious. So a church, like another user suggested. But not just any church girl- the always-volunteering-beacon-of-servitude type.
So because I don't go for (what I'll call sluts) I have to accept that I really want a boring and overtly-religious homemaker?
False.
You grouped all of those together as if they must experienced to validate a woman's life.
No, I'm saying your requirements are extreme- and some of these can only be avoided if a girl has never been out much on her own/with girlfriends. Otherwise she's going to have learned to enjoy a party with hip hop music, drinks, liberal sympathies and dreams of her own career/adventure.
That said, I think most of your requirements can be met with little difficulty- its the no clubbing/partying with girlfriends, anti-liberal/anti-gay, hates hip hop/black music, cooks/cleans for me - requirements that are difficult.
What fucking year is it where you are?
Incorrect, Martha Stewart worked in trading.
Boring girls are the best. Its the "exciting" girls who are trouble and who you have to watch out for. Who wants that party hard girl as a long term companion? You know what they say, you date a protestant but marry a catholic.
You can "go out in to the world" without going out to the lowest points in it. Whether you choose to do so because of a supportive community of people who you were surrounded by as a child that discouraged such behaviors or not, there isn't any reason to suggest the op should be looking for some preposterous or otherwise religious fundamentalist (though they are a very good option - especially the mormons).
1st Martha Stewart was the client of some crooked stockbroker- I've never heard anything about her being an active trader herself. But more importantly are you a fucking idiot? Assuming she also traded actively, how does that follow over to her being exciting through her kitchen? Learn to argue a basic point.
2nd if you automatically equate excitement in life to problems- than you're going to have a pretty fucking boring life. Don't even know what to say to this. Different life views, I suppose. Just remember life is short and finite.
3rd I disagree that makeup, drinking, fashion, girlfriends, one-night stands, and drugs (weed) is "the lowest point". It's called a fun life. I've made mistakes, had fun, but I'm still a hard-working fairly successful ivy league grad. The word is "balance". You're at a zero you need to be at a five.
But in anycase, I also disagree that girls can go out into the world, have friends and not do ANY of the above EVER. That's the way youth culture is- unless she's living in a moron compound (which you say you'd like...)
seabird, OP, others: Just make money and buy a maid + prostitute. It'll be a lot cheaper and easier. And yes, you can dress them up to look classy like your pic of Anne Hathaway (who smokes and drinks).
P.S.- I'VE DATED a religious fundamentalist. Would you like listening to her talk about god and repeatedly begging you to refrain from beer completely?
At your local seniors center....
Seriously? What the fuck.
Better head for Amish country, bro.
Taking odds on OP being Asian/Indian
Since when do girls who go clubbing on occasion and listen to hip-hop qualify as sluts? I think the South has what you're looking for.
Hot, smart, sane: pick two.
The perfect woman doesn't exist. Take what you can get and go with it. Don't waste time looking for something you'll never find.
Can't tell if serious? If so, PLEASE share where you found these. Because for an absolute FACT that trifecta doesn't exist around me and I'd be out to where you claim they exist in a heartbeat.
I think youre wrong; and OP should not quit his search, even if it takes a lifetime. hahahahah
they do... but hard to find, i'll give it another few years of looking then give up, maybe I can nab one in brazil or colombia? (argentina they're all lacking part 3....) i'll keep you posted
Andy, If by the age of 30 i'm not with someone that I see myself with for the rest of my life, I will be planning a month long trip to Medellin for Colombia Fashion Week. You're welcome to come.
why wait? and when is the fashion week? im planning to live in medellin... either before or after brazil late 2013 or early 2014
Why wait? Because unlike douchy OP I want to bang away my 20s. Screw being committed to one cuca at this young age
Tell me more about Medellin
You're welcome
Sounds like how women say about the "classic man" - they're out there, but hard to find. Personally I've only met 3 so far. And I've traveled & lived in many countries. But they're out there. Don't give up just yet. oh by the way, a couple friends of mine who's not giving up on finding a classic perfect man yet are single and in their late 30's. I wonder if their stories are trying to tell me something about not giving up..
I wouldnt bet on latam girls being so fucking stupid.
Cooking classes. Dance classes. Church. Social work - I did some work with Habitat for Humanity and met quite a few girls that fit your bill... However was not interested because I in fact like the opposite of the girl you described... So theres my two cents... Maybe you could tell me where to find some slutty, impressionable, hipster, tattood girls with daddy issues, because the perfect slut is one in a million.
I know what I'm looking for isn't something you'd probably suspect from someone my age but is it all that extreme. I think I may have confused some people so I made some edits to OP.
For example, I like to party with friends but from my experience clubs attract the LCD so that is why its on the list. Same with drinking, everyone does it but I don't want to be associate with anyone who is constantly getting wasted.
Why does everybody keep saying the South? We have hot conservative chicks down there, but the last thing we need is another Yankee toolbag.
Besides, it doesn't sound like they'd appeal to him anyway because Southern girls know how to party.
It's all about networking, as usual.
I think the 1950s have exactly what you're looking for - Mad Men style.
For girls like that, you gotta come down to the Dirty South. Also I like how Anne Hathaway is the image for this -- so hot and classy. But OP I am also searching for a similar relationship...but good luck with that in NYC.
Fair enough, I've never been unfortunately. Will take your word for it.
I have several friends in Saudi Arabia I could set you up with.
what the fuck would such a woman want to do with a low-earning, low-status 21-year old boy?
Pretty much this.
OP doesn't know how the world works and will likely be very disappointed by his life.
you're 21 meaning all the girls have about 4 years left of raging before they settle down, come 25 they'll all settle down but by then they will have partied with all the other guys that had fun at 21 and didn't act 45. loosen up and have fun it'll come. or join the local oprah book club.
thats a fair point...assumin that something like a small butterfly tatoo on the lower back should be fine tho
cooking tryouts are underrated in the dating scene
10/10 troll of WSO
You sound like a boring/miserable guy looking for a trophy wife. Your 21, try to live a little and maybe your perspective will change. I guarantee if you find someone who meets those requirements you will find some flaw with them or get bored VERY quickly.
your not gna find some1 in that age group.
old money med / philosophy student is your answer fwiw
chicks that came from conservative, wealthy (ideally old money) families and were raised in that way will fit the bill, but only once they reach 24-26 onwards
fyi youll need alot more money/status to keep them around than you have right now (or may ever make fwiw)
Ok, these seem reasonable. I have the same preferences.
Well, these are a matter of personal preference. To each their own.
What the...? Really? Do you go to Liberty University or something?
Go to Utah, young one. There is like no alcohol there at all.
I didn't say anything about alcohol besides implying I don't want to be around someone who is always looking to get trashed.
welcome to the human race...please keep your arms and legs inside the trolley at all times
Your mom's house...
I just married one of the kind of girls you're looking for - gorgeous former state-level Miss America finalist, medical professional (masters degree), doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs, or go clubbing, no or very light makeup - a natural beauty. They exist, they're just rare. Build your social network in the right places, and make sure you're well versed in pickup - you'll probably have to act fast. And yes, there are others of us who do grow up by the time we're in our twenties; be proud of it.
Props.
See now you and the dude who started this thread are my type of friends. If you’re in New York we can definitely go on a double date my girls the same way and the best part is when your boys think the same way about their other half they usually think similar with finances! Im putting my LinkedIn & insta bc not tryna have my number out here if you’re ever in New York or live here let’s do it! Linkedin is deshlimitless insta @deshlimitless
So, here's my two cents as well:
-No "clubbing": I think this speaks for itself. I think if you find someone who fits all the other requirements then you will find you won't care about this.
-Lack of grandiose tattoos: It seems more and more are going this way. I haven't seen too many people who do this.
-Fakeness: Plastic surgery and excessive use of warpaint (makeup) are huge turnoffs. Read "fakeness" and thought it was going to be about personality. Whatever. Nobody likes anybody who wears too much makeup. You could lump this in with looks.
-Doesn't smoke/Do Drugs/Only gets drunk occasionally As modified, I think you could put up with it and find a significantly larger group of girls to fit the description.
-Good moral foundation: There is something to be said about those who haven't been corrupted by this socially liberal society and movements such as hip-hop culture infiltrating suburban America. lol. Most people want to do the right thing. Some even have the willpower to accomplish that. I am afraid that if you want to be this specific with everything else you will have to put up with that. Also, drop the silly nonsense about "infiltration".
-Independent: No hipster/frat/artsy/etc...Just simple and elegant who owns a lot of dresses. Also relatively easy to find; but I don't know why the number of dresses she owns (every girl has some) matters so much.
-Preferably NOT in the Financial Services Industry. Millions and millions fit this obviously.
Did you try the Brandy Room?
I've got a list of classy associates you can cold call/email.
This is somehow a requirement of yours?
it's a fair ask...you dont want bishes with baggy sweatpants
Eh, I know it's weird but more and more are opting for jeans all the time.
Heavy metal concerts.
Call me crazy, but I hate girls that don't drink. My friend's gf comes out and has like a beer the whole nit. It's an amazing buzz kill. That's not to say I want a girl getting completely sloshed and throwing up all over the place, but there certainly is a happy medium in there somewhere. I kinda find girls that dont drink to be childish. Like the type that would get innocently hit on by a guy and then literally CRY to you later about how she was "almost raped".... you know the type im talkin about
.
why OP hate sloots? u gay? lmao
Based on that list, just get your parents to arrange that shit.
I'm not certain that your post is real or simply a joke. But after looking through your comprehensive list - I think your best bet to find the type of girl you are looking for is at your school, at 21 I'm assuming you're still attending university.
Also, although I don't think the criteria on your list is the norm and perhaps may come across a little judgemental , I definitely think it's possible for you find someone who meets most or all of it. Best of luck.
Sounds like a boring fucking girl
Basically, you have turned down the whole female population I guess. But such demand is quite respectable. Yeah, tattoos are fucking gross. I remember somebody once quoted "how can a Bentley come with cheap ass stickers? Plastic surgeries should be ok though. When you grow up, you will understand. Regarding the location, where else can beat a Michelin star restaurant? I tend to go as much as I can to stay classy. Take note.
Also, for any guy who doesn't want to hang with a sorostitute type, I'd consider him boring. Even I enjoy hanging out with airhead bimbos as long as they look platinum.
You know what they say... love is blind.
Which makes total sense but just say 'I do not want to date a slut'. Don't try to correlate girls that do things with those girls being a slut. That was my point.
The kitchen. BOOM roasted.
Guys, the comments amazed me. Great stuff.
I think southern girls actually make pretty good wives, and I say this as a proud new york city woman. Some of my friends married some southern belles and those girls seem really cool. Down to earth and fun to be with - that's if you fancy a relationship where you two are also best friends and buddies.
Also, you def don't want the girl who only has one beer for the night, a whiskey drinking woman is the real deal.
Just wondering if people could define what they consider slutty behavior.
well played
If you have the right circle of friend, you should be able to find one. If you hang around with girls that fit that criteria, more often than not, those girls will hangout with similar girls and from there you have to cast a net out on their network and when you guys get together, be sure to have an eye out for the one you want.
or simply go to church, I can honestly say that's how most of my family members met their wives/husbands and they all have have had successful marriages.
OP, Lotin gave you the best advice so far.
Become friends with like minded people (both men and women). Sooner or later, they'll introduce you to their own friends and family, and as your social circle grows, you'll meet more potential mates with the qualities you seek.
"Good moral foundation: There is something to be said about those who haven't been sold into accepting society's trash and movements such as rap/hip-hop culture infiltrating suburban America."
Define "accepting" OP.
Haha easy there killer.
all the more proof that guys are clueless.
OP, maybe we'd be interested 10 years later when you grow up a little.
This thread is becoming more and more EPIC! XD
From the South. Calling BS on everyone who keeps on spewing the Southern Belle stereotype. Yeah, you'll find girls who are decent and ladylike, but they come in several varieties: 1) Moralistic church girl. Does not wear skirts above mid-calf, will not ride in your car past 10:30pm, doesn't enjoy anything in a large group. Think Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember only worse. 2) Old money rich kid, who probably barely lifted a finger and went to college to major in Women's Studies or some shit, spent her time in a sorority playing Dress Up with other rich kids and dominating campus Spring Queen competitions. 3) Regular girls. You know, the kind that went to a generic public school, went to college, graduated with a decent degree. What you'd call a "normal" person. Unfortunately, normal people like to drink once a while, go out with friends, like hiphop, etc.
So um. Where are these Martha Stewart types you're talking about? The pretty girls who sit in their lawn chairs and drink tea and lemonade in the summer sun? The ones who attend debutante balls and giggle behind their lace gloves and parasols? Secret -- those debutante girls, prim and proper though they look in the eye of public spectacle, are also some of the wildest and fakest girls ever. They are the ones who turn rebel in college. So really, you can have your super moralistic church girls or you can have the hot society girls who are probably the exact thing you don't want. I guess the church girls will be the closest thing for you. Yawn.
And as an avid clubber -- what's wrong with clubbing? You don't even have to drink at a club, you don't have to rub your ass against any guy that approaches you. Clubbing is just... to go, dance, meet new people, let loose and have fun. Also, I take personal offense to you calling hiphop a poor moral foundation. What do you listen to, Gregorian chants? Also, did you just say "no trendiness"?!
Really, how does any of that make a girl a slut? Because if so, oops.
That is exactly what 95% of the girls at the clubs near me go to do. I listen to contemporary hard-rock btw.
Between all that stuff, no one actually ventured an area where such girls can be found. So OP, there you have it, the 'girl' you want does not exist.
And hipster/artsy/trendy girls are generally hot. So you're missing out, but I'm guessing your requirements are brought upon by either religion or being burned by a girl before as no 21 year old I have ever known wants what you want. Do agree tattoos and excessive make-up are a turn-off but it doesnt make them a slut. I'd cool your grand statements/generalisations if you want to make a good impression.
And WTF with accepting society's trash? I didnt realise listening to a brand if music makes you complicit in how society is deteriorating. Who the fuck do you think you are?
Dear OP,
You need to get into HBS. Not only will you have marriage type girls in business schools trying to settle down, but also every girl in the world will get wet when you drop the "H Bomb"
Tattoos, clubing, makeup, classy, I score all.
OP, I'm on the same page with you. Don't listen to some of these guys. To each his own.
25yro here. Not religious. Half white. Was in a fraternity back in college. And I just got engaged to a beeaaautiful woman of 24 who is liberally jewish. She's also smart, doesn't party, drinks socially, and only had 2 partners her entire life. We drink a lot of vodka and champagne on our own time when alone but she never hits the bars or anything like that. We do go to clubs in NYC sometimes but it's to dance and basically let loose from a grueling work week. On some other days we go to art museums. Very classy and balanced girl.
Our mutual classmate of 24 just got married to her boyfriend since 4th grade and they're both pretty attractive although they are the partying type - just dont sleep with anyone else but go to clubs together. Both are liberal and don't belong to any religion. The girl was in a sorority back in our college.
It seems there are a lot more of these brainy classy girls, family-oriented girls at target schools than not. I've attended both targets and non-targets. Did you go to a target? If not, try to get into one for grad school, maybe try one of those quick 1 year programs and when you get in, attend as many social events as possible.
It also depends on the way the chick was raised. Like for my fiance, her brother never spent much time with their parents, he attended Yale and partied his ass off and got into a whole lot of shit involving alcohol and hazing. Her, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with her mom and dad who both got married at age 35 after having dated in college (super long term relationship which set an example for her)...the dad is a partner at Skadden Arps and despite his busy life, was able to have enough of a presence in her teenage life that he convinced her away from doing drugs, cigs, being a typical spoiled jewish girl at an Ivy, and dating too heavily. Same with her mom -- taught her to become an independent woman and not depend on anyone.
Speaking from experience I see.
You used the word target 6 times in one paragraph, that's gotta be some kind of record, haha. So, are you at a top target or mid-range target? Just curious.
-No "clubbing": I think this speaks for itself. Most people I know rarely go clubbing. We all outgrew the scene by about 21 (in Australia, we start drinking at 18).
-Lack of grandiose tattoos: It seems more and more are going this way. Nil. Most of my friends don't even have exotic piercing.
-Fakeness: Plastic surgery and excessive use of warpaint (makeup) are huge turnoffs. Many girls I know only use excessive makeup for photoshoots. (I know a lot of models). This one seems to be a 50/50 split.
-Doesn't smoke/Do Drugs/Only Drinks w/ Moderation: Same as the clubbing bullet. A lot of girls I know drink wine occasionally, and maybe a cocktail if someone else is mixing. Beer and cider occasionally.
-Good moral foundation: There is something to be said about those who haven't been sold into accepting society's trash and movements such as rap/hip-hop culture infiltrating suburban America.
Most kids I know were raised in sunday school. I assume that's what you're talking about? Most people I know outgrew hiphop culture and rap at 16.
-Independent: No hipster/frat/artsy/trendy/etc...Just simple,stylish, and elegant who owns a lot of dresses.
I don't know about most my friends, but I probably own about 40 dresses. there's at least 25 in my closet atm, 10 in the spare room closet, 5 in my mums closet, and heaven knows how many in the wash. As much as you think that's a good thing now, it actually means I'm not putting away money for my investments in the future, I'm buying clothes instead. Not such a good thing. Most people I know may or may not have as many dresses as me, I'm not too sure on that point.
My friends don't go belong to sororities, because we don't have the money to pay for uni colleges, and renting is much cheaper. I gave up indie music about the same time as realised I didn't want to pay $80 to go to a music festival full of half naked drunk kids when I could work at them and be paid for it, but I don't know how many people my age are the same. That said, I can sew and am useful with a glue gun, so not sure if that makes me artsy. I assume most my friends are similar.
Trendy is subjective, and most people know hipsters don't actually exist. Again, I think most girls I know are the same, though many may not have as many dresses.
-Preferably NOT in the Financial Services Industry. Haha. Does Consulting or Accounting count? That rules only myself and maybe 20% of my friends, but I have a whole lot of friends in law, education, not for profits, hairdressing, beauty therapy, etc.
Cooking's easy, so I won't even touch on that.
But yeah, to answer your question, maybe it's confirmation bias, but most of my friends probably fit your criteria. Mind you, most my friends are Christian.... and are at church... And are also in Australia....
Oh, and I am sure there are also non-christian girls like you described. They are probably ambitious and driven and clocking up 100 hours at their bigLaw firm and don't have time to be dating. Or going to Business or law school for their mrs degree. :P
http://thegrindstone.com/education/i-went-to-business-school-to-get-my-… http://thegrindstone.com/office-politics/business-school-mba-wife-627/2/
However the guys gave you a few great ideas. Check out your local soup kitchens or teaching programs to see who are volunteering.
Also, I don't know why you are hating on artsy girls, but maybe try the orchestra or ballet or opera house and look for girls who look alone. Though don't be a creep.
But don't worry, we definately exist.
Best response so far. Thanks. 100+ comments and I've gotten 5 MS's for it. Though those are probably from insecure dudes who chase the opposite of what I've described.
No, probably because you sound like a jackass.
Funny, my only criteria when choosing a future bang maid is one that can correctly spell "definitely" and also hangs out at soup kitchens and opera houses...so close.
dp.
TL/DR: In Church. In Australia. :D
Also try business and law schools, soup kitchens and charities and classical music venues.
He's not looking for someone religious. Which rules him out for maybe 70% of my friends. I'm afraid I've given him all the help I can, for the moment.
if this dude and brady were in the same room the creep vibe they would emanate would repel every female in a mile wide radius
Aimez knows what's up.
Thanks.
this thread is hilarious with all the shallow people
In my bedroom
Metal concerts are great places to meet classy girls.
Seconded.
Especially black metal concerts.
Or death metal shows.
I gotta ask the stupid question - are you joking or being serious?
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show... and see if she likes the goods."
Based on?
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