Bizarre Girl Situation - What should I do?
Before I post, the only reason I am posting is because I saw other posts here breaching the same subject matter and people were responsive. So please dont judge me that much, I'm just a little down about this.
I met this girl online about 6 months ago. We've been dating ever since. We text everyday and I take her out every Friday practically and we have a great relationship.
A slight issue for me is that she's not very expressive. So although, we enjoy a great relationship and we have fun, she never verbally indicates it to me. I have to basically fight out of her. I'm a little more expressive, so I regularly compliment her and basically be a great boyfriend.
However, I'm still concerned about that. I had taken my profile off this website we used, but my friend noticed her's is still online. Which I found pretty strange as we're dating and I think I have fallen for her.
So my friend suggested he would get in touch with her online and see if she would respond. I didnt want to breach her trust but it would resolve the situation I find myself in, in that if she rejects him, I have a better sense we have a future.
Anyway, he signed up & immediately contacted her. Within two days, she responded with a lengthy message and asking for more details from my friend. I was heartbroken when he mentioned it to me. I have fallen for her & she clearly is assessing her options.
What should I do? Fight for her or just let her go?
Is everyone on WSO a beta? I keep reading this beta shit and I'm still reading it. If everyone on WSO is a beta, I guess that means I'm a beta too? Jesus fuckin' Christ.
WOW OP SHE LOOKS GREAT IN THOSE PICS!
notsrs
in4pics
You only take her out once a week?
She has bizarre hours so thats the only way I can make it work. I'd like to do it more.
Does she know that the two of you are friends?
You know what you do? After a date, after dinner and drinks and you're walking her home and maybe you're in front of her door, you say, "You know, XXX, I really see this going far, don't you?" and see what her reaction is. If she flinches, she's OUT. If she doesn't, she's IN! A guy I was murky about did that once to me and I flinched and he got very upset and then we broke up like a week later. But I don't really regret it because I wasn't super into him.
JFC, kids. Are you sure you're actually dating her? As in, have you sat her down and both verbally confirmed that the two of you are exclusively dating? If no, she has every right to be doing what she is doing. She is an adult and this isn't middle school anymore.
Next piece of advice? If you have a problem with the person you are dating, take it up with her. If a satisfactory resolution cannot be reached by both parties, move on and put your profile back up.
Anything else?
Do you want her, despite the fact that she may not be 100% into you? Fight for it. Do you want someone who is 100% dedicated and won't look elsewhere? Forget it.
Like really, how hard is this decision?!
If you do fight for her...make sure to use roundhouse kicks
You are more invested in the relationship than she is. That is a problem.
She's just not that into you. Don't feel badly about it. It'll happen more times than it won't and you're going to do it to someone else too.
My question is are you sleeping with her? It sounds like you see each other once a week and act like friends would.
I assume you guys have fucked. Because if the answer is no, you guys aren't dating, which would explain her behavior. And if you guys have...communication goes a long way.
Here's a test that always works: Ask her what she's doing on a weeknight. Tell her to come over you want someone to watch your favorite show with. If she blows you off, it's game over. If she comes over and doesn't give it up or is stand-offish, she likes you but she confused if it's more as a friend or more than that. And she drops the panties, you got nothing to complain about, you're in the pocket of pleasure.
lol, and the Big4 guy got shit for posting...
PIITB
Why don't you take a step back and think about this logically.
If she's assessing her options, why don't you? Because you're emotionally attached? Then fucking detach yourself. Keep her around - no need for drama just yet - and scout out new things. Remember the golden rule in finance: it's always easier to find a job if you've already got one.
And for fuck's sake, do not attempt to "win her" or "fix the relationship." The whole thing is fucked, it's a foregone conclusion.
madmoney speaks the truth.
//www.youtube.com/embed/BZy1f0Tl7OM
Bro, you've been seeing a girl for 6 months and she doesn't express herself. She still has her online dating profile up and your boy got a lengthy message from her as soon as he messaged her.
She isn't expressive because she is needy, but doesn't really like you.
Any time you are with someone you met online you need to both disengage after you agree you are seeing each other. This chick is probably getting hundreds of messages a week. If you think your boy is the only one getting chatted up then you are mistaken. You're probably being snowballed on a weekly basis, that is if you are hitting it.
.
hahahhaha well played sir.
Seriously tho, she's probably bored of you. Assuming you aren't a complete social pariah and legitimately at one point in time felt like you two had a connection, this is a bad sign. She's just stringing you along until she has completely separated herself from you emotionally and will then jump ship. You never see it coming you just get to see it go...time to move on brah.
If you were a real dirty dog, you would be saying:
//www.youtube.com/embed/gmpuPDYeL8A
On some real though, I've been in a worse situation. I was all about this girl and I wrote a love letter to her. She opened the letter in front of me and I was so nervous my hands were trembling. You know what she did? She laughed and walked away. There's a lesson learned in every failure though.
it's ok swanny. this will be your theme song once you become an ibanking baller and she will regret that she ever responded to your friend...
//www.youtube.com/embed/2BzXiS6feiE
Why do we get so many of these threads?
WSO is advertising on Christian Mingle now-a-days
hahaha and then when she comes back around after your piping kate upton you can say, "no new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no new new"
Good point. OP needs to stop being about the bush and take it to the house. If he does not have the courage for it he should look elsewhere for a GF. There are plenty of others. Next time be direct from the beginning that you really want to score.
dude, i seriously thought that was a chicken leg he was eating...
So I guess were not doing this pics thing anymore OP?
Placeholder you are, single she hates to be, closer to Yoda I am than to boyfriend you are.
OP posts some pussy ass message...doesnt respond.....shitstorm ensues
seems legit.
She doesnt. She hasnt met this friend & in addition he used a picture of his brother rather than his own.
I've tried that but she doesnt flinch or become hesitant but shes not expressive in any way. So I dont how to take it.
no career-motivated ppl are typically beta or omega-males who had issues growing up - thus, no exp w/ women
Thanks dude. Of course I've discussed this with her, and I noted what she said. Generally in other relationships I've had, 6 months is a long time to not be exclusive. She said the same about her so without labeling every fucking thing, it was implied. I'm certainly not dating anyone else, even though the girl I am working with now throws herself on me quite regularly.
I know shes an adult but I dont like games so..
It is hard because I've fallen for her but on the hand, shes searching options. I mean, I'm sure you can appreciate its pretty hard to just move on from someone with this level of attachment.
Yeah the relationship is physical. I mean, the reason its once a week (aside from weekends that is, when we're always together) is because she works odd hours. Like gets in at 6 and then leaves at 7.
Tried that. But she's not expressive at all. I'm pretty candid in a relationship and get frustrated when the other isnt.
This makes sense but I dont really want options. I want her but I see your point because its valid. I might have to limit contact to see what happens.
The relationship is physical. This is my worry because you've pretty much nailed it. I dont understand why though. I dont get how we text/call everyday, spend all weekend together, and have date nights etc, and shes not into me? How does that even work? Its crazy.
I have no idea why her online profile is still up. You reckon I should broach the subject? I dont doubt she gets tons of messages, she's gorgeous and I was lucky to find her but I dont want to be played.
breh u've already been played becuz :
This girl is classy, anal is out of the question.
What should I do? Move on or bring the situation up?
I was meant to give you shit but accidentally gave a banana.
Classy and anal are not mutually exclusive.
Alright, I didn't want to do this, but here, the sure fire way to win any girl's heart:
//www.youtube.com/embed/QZuOKUrwoys
Do this and you should be fine.
Brah there's no such thing as a "classy girl" in the bedroom if you know the right buttons to press.
Edit: Wizard^
But srsly, someone posted earlier in this thread that super career focused guys (like the majority on WSO) are beta/omega males...this is true. I know a handful of people at my UG who are this way, and they all think that by focusing on getting the best career and being "mature" and "respecting" (as in being super beta) women they'll eventually be drowning in pussy...nope.
oh thanks i just shit on you for being a pussy and making this pathetic thread.
I had to break my lurker status for this - are you fckin kidding me? You've answered your own question in your opening, but fail to realize it. Yet, you sh*t on people for making fun of you and telling it like it is - that you're pathetic and are getting played by a girl you met online.
Finally, you're seeking advice from an online forum? The fact that you do this AND that you take offense to people poking fun at you shows how sad, needy, and unbelievably butthurt you are.
mudkipz almost got it right - you're not a beta male or omega male - they should make a class right under omega and put you and the rest of the people who post butthurt threads about how their online "girlfriends" don't respond to their texts within one minute.
Fuck you dude. I dont know who you think you are but you like talking about being butthurt huh?
Anyway, its nothing pathetic about it. I couldnt give a shit about what some loser posts about me, but I was just simply asking for advice. I got some and predictably there are some idiots here too.
There is nothing inherently classy or unclassy about anal or anything else. That said, ignore all the noise that's made around here about it. Makes me think most monkeys haven't actually...PIITB.
Oh and by the way, super career focused guys are not necessarily beta/omega males. They are simply the nerds who haven't figured out that there's more to getting and maintaining a successful career than GPA/book smarts/etc. In other words, the same guys that come to WSO looking for a step-by-step guide to networking. They will either figure it out and get ahead or not. Similarly, there is nothing beta about being "mature" or "respectful" of women.
lol whey to prove his point bout being butthurtz
and dude u just got crapped on no offense - take a seat lol
I dont see how this is relevant in this situation. I agree with your points but I dont think about being beta/alpha whatever. I'm 27, I've had my fun in college and I'm in a place where I'm respectful of women and want something long term. Clearly this might not happen here but it doesnt make me omega/beta in any way.
Complaining about a girl you met online on an online forum makes you beta though. In your OP you base the fact that you text everyday as a variable to measure how your relationship is going - that's also beta. You should have addressed the online profile thing as soon as you discussed starting an actual relationship with her, and told her that she needed to shut her profile down if you did the same. You also sound very needy in that you need verbal reassurance from her that she actually feels for you.
However, the fact that she still has her profile up, AND is talking to your friend (whether she knows its him or not) would be red flags to me, and I'd probably shut it down at that point. Start detaching from her but keep her around to smash until you find someone new.
Unless you had a chat and agreed you are exclusive, you've got nothing to complain about here. If anything, you should be playing the field as well.
There you go pal... You know what must be done.
LOL. way to fuck with his brother. +1
Tried what? I think you be straight up. i.e. talk about exclusivity, how you took your profile down. Ask her to take hers down if she's serious, etc... If she says no, you have your answer. If she says yes...and still doesn't, you also have your answer. If she says yes...takes down her profile...and still contacts your buddy, you have your answer. I think all the bases are covered.
I think I've been here before. The girl is really hot and looks great on your arm but you don't feel like you have 100% of her attention. But things are going well enough where you think they'll change and she will grow into the person you want her to be.
It's never worked for me, nor anyone else I know. However I did find that once I left that person and moved on to another girl who was more into me and who I didn't have any second thoughts about in terms of fidelity - well then the ex would come running back and ask me a million questions and want to hang out. I gave in a few times then finally kicked her to the curb when I realized she has issues from childhood I'm not qualified to change over dinner and drinks on the weekend.
So it sounds like you need to get your profile back online and start treating her like she treats you.Hit it but keep your options open.
Whatever you do - do not take her on vacation. It'll be expensive and you'll wanna cut your wrists half the time.
why the F*** are these posts not marked as spam.
Swanny, I was in the exact same boat as you.
PM me when you get a chance...
pwned
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