Cold email template asking for Internship - Advice

I'm sure many of you have seen these, but really am trying to get some solid advice on the template below. I am a rising sophomore and am trying to get an unpaid internship with a boutique firm in the area for the fall semester so I was going to email the MD.

"Hi Mr. xxx,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am currently a sophomore at xxxxxxx studying finance. I was introduced to your firm while I was working at xxxxxxx as an M&A Intern and have experience and knowledge with xxx, xxx, and xxxx research.

I understand that xxxxxxx may have a formalized recruitment process, but was wondering whether your team could use part-time assistance. I am available immediately for an unpaid internship and would be grateful if you could take a look at my resume.

I understand you are extremely busy and would really appreciate any opportunity to speak with you at your earliest convenience.

Warm Regards,"

Any advice on the above template?

Thanks in advance.

 

Don't need to ask for it to be unpaid, never know if he'll offer you a small rate. And in case the MD's on the fence about it, you can pull out the "unpaid" card to show your dedication/desire to work there.

I also like to suggest 2-3 times I'm available to speak when I email someone, with a note that I can switch to whatever time is convenient for them. It makes it easier for them to have a concrete time on their schedule.

I wouldn't mention the formalized recruitment process personally, maybe I'm a dick, but I'd wonder why you didn't just apply through there instead. Just say you wanted to know if they could use part-time assistance in the fall (if anyone else knows I'm wrong about this, please correct me).

 
Best Response

Your first paragraph is on the mark. You lose it a bit in the second however.

  1. As m3shuggah said, don't jump straight to unpaid.
  2. Don't give him a built-in excuse. (I understand there's a formalized recruitment process)
  3. "part time assistance" sounds like a secretary. He'll know you're looking for part time because you're in school and "work" sounds much better than "assistance."
  4. "take a look at my resume" is also redundant. If it's attached, and he's interested, he's going to click on it.
  5. "I understand you are extremely busy" sounds weak. Don't sound weak.
  6. Don't start your email with "hi"

Try something like this (but put it into your own words):

"Mr. xxx,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am currently a sophomore at xxxxxxx studying finance. I was introduced to your firm while I was working at xxxxxxx as an M&A Intern and have experience and knowledge with xxx, xxx, and xxxx research.

I am seeking a M&A internship during my fall semester and would like to speak with you about any opportunities your firm may have. I am available during (dates, times). My resume is attached for reference.

Warm Regards,

@mxpwer"

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

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