eb ft but..

I have a FT job from an elite boutique and I'm in my senior year right now, yet i feel like shit.
I'm not able to get laid..none of my friends party, not able to make new friends who do party..

I'm in college and I'm having a pretty shitty time. Almost like I wouldn't mind IB because at least I would be too exhausted to care. Im in a couple clubs/sports/activities but i just cant get a girl. I try to go out, I talk to girls but i just keep getting rejected.. i try all places too clubs, bars, daytime.

i would trade the eb offer anyday for a girl. and i'm being serious. hows that wso, so much for being prestige whores..

 

You can always make new friends. Especially if others have landed full time jobs and are coasting through sr. year also. Or maybe your friends will start to party and have fun. Partying doesn't necessarily need to consist of getting blotto drunk but maybe at least go out.

Regarding girls: you have no game if you can't get laid in college. I'm sure there have to be pointers online on how to get game so change yours up and figure out what works for you.My strategy when I was younger was to throw enough shit against the wall until some of it stuck. It's a numbers and a confidence game so once it works a couple of times and you figure out a groove it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Don't be the annoying geek who would hit on a barstool though: you have to swing the bat to hit a homerun but you can't swing at everything, especially if you're the guy who gets loaded and starts hitting on girls as a sloppy drunk. You have to get to Jedi level to be blacked out drunk and get laid by something other than a 240 lb hippopotamus. Also learn how to perform cunnilingus, do it first and do it on a girl who talks a lot. Like the mouthy girl in the sorority who will tell everyone. Don't ask for anything in return. One night of blue balls could result in a free advertising campaign for you.

But I hope this is a joke also.

 
Dingdong08:
Also learn how to perform cunnilingus, do it first and do it on a girl who talks a lot.

this is so essential, there should be a WSO guide on it.

OP, find the clit, and turn your tongue into a spring doorstop

if you're not naturally attractive, don't worry. I've known some absolute dumpster fires who have gotten some girls, and it's the combo of grooming, fitness, fashion, confidence, and humor.

there's hope for you yet bro.

 

Don't let a dry spell of tail mess up your college experience. Work on other things (gym, get your confidence up, carry yourself like you have a 12in third leg, etc.) and the girls will follow.

All else fails, tell the girl you are about to work on Wall Street. Instant panty dropper.

Array
 
Best Response

Son, I am going to get you laid in spite of yourself. I have been waiting for a way to give back and pay it forward so to speak and I do believe this is that opportunity.

FIRST your appearance.

If you are out shape, hit the gym. Next get a haircut, clean and tight (preferably one that you can style your hair). Unless you've got amazing locks, at which point let em' hang loose. Also get your barber to do your eyebrows, trust me they probably need it. And check your nose. Trim and clean your nails, floss your teeth, SHAVE it's ok to have scruff but your neck must be clean shaven. Smell good but don't overdo it if you decide to use cologne (one spray center chest, no more, no less). Women notice every detail.

Clothes. Dress shirts, think Hugo Boss, Brooks Brothers (see that post by @"Going Concern" on "going out clothing"), sleeves will be rolled three times so they sit below your elbow roughly 80% of the way up your forearm. Jeans that fit well, Levis 501, Lucky Brand, whatever but they need to fit well! Dress shoes -- lighter brown, you'll get more use out of them. Get a watch, you don't need a 10k watch, just get a leather band watch and a metal watch that look good. Be sure to always iron your dress shirts before heading out.

Now your look should be on lock, by the way I know a guy who is about 50lbs overweight who will pull more pussy than you can possibly imagine, so don't fret if you are out of shape. If you are a bean pole, eat some hamburgers, no girl wants a guy whose ass she could kick. Work on your posture when you walk and stand. Hands are never in your pockets.


Break. Even as an executive summary that is a lot of information to take in.

Social skills.

Start talking to people. I mean from the people in line at the library to the librarian. Start talking to people and getting comfortable approaching and starting conversations out of thin air. Even if you think you are solid, do it. You want to work on situational humor because the material is potentially limitless and perfect for any given situation. Work your jokes on guys, then unattractive girls, then medium girls, then hotter girls. At the point when you are talking to a hot girl it's like talking to that ugly librarian.

When you start going to get numbers and making approaches, you are going to just get rejected, over and over again. But it takes the sting out of it the more you do it and you'll start to see what does and does not work. Most importantly, if for even a second you have any doubts about a girl or she doesn't seem 85-100% interested in you. Delete the number and move on. Do NOT get hung up on time sinks.

Now at the club, your best bet is when everyone gets flushed out onto the street around closing time or in line on your way in. Seen and be seen applies, you want to look like you are having fun. Do not hesitate when you see a girl you want to talk to. Be mindful of the optics, so if girls are looking at you walking across the whole club and you get effectively shut down that isn't good. Conversely if you get a girls number, her or her friends are going to have their eyes on you, so be sure to be out of sight when getting another number or just hop to the next bar/club.

It gets easier with time.

Leverage your friends, their girlfriends, BBQs, events, everything. Do not read any of the pick up bullshit. You can make friends easily, it is also better to just show up and say your hellos, get a number or two and then bounce. Rather than actually sticking around and partying. College is pretty easy because most girls just want to get ripped. Should be a decent starting point and if all of that fails let us know.

 

This is not a joke unfortunately..

Makes logical sense thanks. I'm very skinny..veg and ive been doing starting strength for awhile, just not gaining much weight.

Things I do: I wear Levis and have decent dress shirts though some are too big.. wear sperries going out. avoiding watch for now becuz of skinny arms, correct if im wrong. haircut is clean and short, clean shaven when going out. not afraid to approach girls, talked to plenty now

Mistakes I do: I need to iron my shirts more often, didn't even go to work at EB with ironed shirts... i make awkward eye contact with girls game/conversational skills is shit. all i know is how to talk about academics and professional shit never develop any attraction.. my conversations are that boring always get friend zoned... i missed a makeout once because i turned my head.. girl just laughed at me rest of the night. she hooked up with another guy right after. I suck at social cues with girls only. Ironic how i can nail cues in investment banking though

Most people are a bit surprised that i haven't gotten laid..

all my player "friends" are acquaintances. they flock to me in classes and at work/class, but ditch outside professional/academic setting. I feel pretty lonely at times because of this.

 

There is hope for you analyst, pussy is the great redeemer, the tight little crucible from which true men are forged... yes I've been watching the movie "Edge of Tomorrow".

Response in order of appearance:

Dress shirts should be form fitting not loose and baggy, fix this situation immediately. Also depending on the occasion you can wear trousers, dress shoes and a nice polo. Sperries? Mistake, get some real shoes. If you are so tiny you are afraid of wearing a watch you need to drastically step up your calorie consumption and switch your work out routine to bulking up.

Yes you are afraid of talking to girls otherwise your conversations wouldn't be dryer than a nuns pussy. EVEN SO, if you aren't nervous start talking to all people as I suggested and work on your situational humor, this will carry over into your conversations with women and they will not remain boring.

Being friend zoned has to do with how you deal with women. Generally a sign you are worried about what they think about you so you try and compensate with safer humor, conversations and whatever else to be "non threatening" so to speak. Listen, you want to rip their little pies, you do not want to be their friends. Have a good laugh, talk about their day, night, whatever, get the number and bounce. With the number your goal is to save conversation for in-person and set-up dates/meet ups.

Fuck her, and don't think about missing out that one night with that one girl. You suck at social cues because you don't have practice. Goes back to what I said about just talking with ALL people you come across (I don't literally mean every person you see) but generate as many conversations as possible. This is easily your biggest set-back, bar none and I can tell based on your response you don't want to do this part. Do it m'fer or all of this advice is for naught.

Set something up with those friends. If they aren't open to that (I'd be surprised), fuck them and find new friends to go out with. By the way, my own personal opinion is that groups will just hold you back. You don't need a group of guys in your head, or thinking about looking like a fool in front of them when you are trying to do work. Head out with one other friend, with the mission of getting numbers and approaching girls. It is useful if he has good social skills because he can help entertain her friends if the girl you want to talk to is with a group. DO NOT go out with other friends that have shitty social skills, you already have some hurdles to overcome, you do not need an anchor around your neck while you do it.

Just get it done, I've given you a pretty good launching pad. I was where you were at one point, though instead of being scrawny I weighed over 300 pounds so I had to bust my ass. Even today I weigh 210 and am pretty stacked, though I'm pretty tall. I had zero skills with women, people and everything else. You just got to go out and take it, believe it or not this experience will probably help you out in your career.

You've got a blueprint, get to work. As far as feeling down or lonely, we've all been there.

 

A guy used to work for me had a theory where he befriended the hottest girl he could find (at school, in a new city, wherever) and truly stayed friends with her. Never hit on her or crossed the line. When he was out other girls would see him with the hottie and figure he had something to offer. It seemed to work for him pretty well, but he could talk to a couch and get it to talk back so maybe he had other skills.

Let me clarify my point of getting game-I didn't mean to join one of those cheesy pick up artist things. Just that whatever youre doing now isn't working and you need to change it up. Never become the cheeseball unless you want to pick up girls like Snooki. But you know what? Snooki could probably suck the chrome off a trailer hitch so that's not bad occasionally.

@archervice's advice is spot on. Not that others aren't also. Is that like a pay it forward thing archer?

 
Dingdong08:

A guy used to work for me had a theory where he befriended the hottest girl he could find (at school, in a new city, wherever) and truly stayed friends with her. Never hit on her or crossed the line. When he was out other girls would see him with the hottie and figure he had something to offer. It seemed to work for him pretty well, but he could talk to a couch and get it to talk back so maybe he had other skills.

I've moved to several different cities the past few years and this works like a fucking charm. Look at it as an investment. Plus, if she's that good looking she'll get invited to a ton of events and will bring you along.

 

You got it tough guy.

I came to ask for advice because i have no one else to ask, fam/friends/mentor, none, where else do i turn to? this doesnt come naturally to me and ive had no one to follow or learn from like a older brother/father.

 

I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. actually going now in an hour. My look is the same, i'm average but a minority that doesn't attract girls in my part of the country. girls either keep friend zoning me, ignoring what I say or walk away. Talked to about 15 now, some in the daytime some at bars/clubs.

clothes, i tried to order some online but they sucked so returning. the closest malls are far away, so itll be a while till i upgrade. bought a decent dress watch. I feel like i'm showing too much interest early on..

i just don't get how its happening to everyone around me.. across the spectrum from jocks to nerds and weirdos

 

Good job at the gym, make sure you are consuming enough protein and calories to gain muscle mass. You need to work on your social skills in general, jokes and talking with regular people you meet and see in life. From the librarian to the ugly girl waiting at the subway. It's free practice and you should be doing at least 5 different conversations with regular people each day on top of approaching girls. If you are getting shut down the conversations you are having with those girls are inherently short but as you said above you have trouble picking up on social queues and your conversations are dry. So you need an environment where you control the length of the conversation which is why regular people are useful. Situational humor and adapting on the fly needs to be your bread and butter, if you get the OK girl to laugh while you are waiting to print something off you're in a good spot. I've had to do this in foreign countries so trust me when I convey how important it is and how much easier you have it. Ordering clothes online only works if you send in your exact measurements and are getting custom dress shirts or something of that nature. Good initiative all around, glad to get an update.

 

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