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9/13/06

I had an experience last night that was rather unfortunate: I had sex with one of my female co-workers over at her place and it sucked. Now before I tell you what occurred I would like to put this in context. I have been told I am sexually proficient -actually I have been told I was great many times, but for the sake of modesty we will say proficient. This female compatriot is rather hot. When I say hot, I am distinguishing between cute and hot; that said, she was hot. So we get down to it and she just lie abed. She just lied there expecting me to do all the work. I did do all the work and when it was over she proclaims 'that was awesome' and proceeds to smoke a cigarette. Now what the fuck. I have worked with this analyst-ette many times over and I know how to gauge her level of sincerity. She was sincere, for I hope she was since she came, as it were. Now, normally I would just cast this episode aside and lapel it an unfortunate experience. I would also cast her aside, sexually that is, and probably call her a sexual miser -that is a sexual cheapskate. Indeed I have already done that. However, what engenders this post is not this one experience, but rather a history of them. Yes that is correct, a history, or many experiences akin to the aforementioned. It is this observation, and two others that force me to label IBD Analyst-ettes as sexual misers.

Comments (210)

9/13/06

don't dip your pen in company ink, I think this phrase is very relevant in ibanking, because most of these women are overworked and exhausted. I mean yesterday was a workday, so most likely you did it after work, so both of you were exhausted.

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9/13/06

I am not sure I understand your ink/pen example. Anyway, you bring up a relevant point. I would agree with it, however, this has occured before.
-Just judging from that past. What am I to conclude?

  •  9/13/06

nobody cares, man. Posting about yourself being "sexually proficient" just makes you seem like a douchebag. Find a friend and tell your stupid story to them instead.

9/13/06

it means you don't fuck people from work because it causes nothing but drama.

9/13/06

RogueBanker: i'm assuming you're young and think that pounding a motionless girl is fun. And it is, of course, but it does get fucking lame and boring when she's just lying there.

"Anyway, you bring up a relevant point. I would agree with it, however, this has occured before.
-Just judging from that past. What am I to conclude?"

Dan, that guy is an idiot and his one-sided point sucks. Of COURSE the girl is exhausted, but SO ARE YOU. You, too, are in IBD and work insane hours. What the fuck is that about? It's no excuse.

And the fact that it has happened in the past multiple times does, IMO, give you the right to make this conclusion.

"it means you don't fuck people from work because it causes nothing but drama."

Shut up you New Jersey fuckhead. Drama has nothing to do with this.

9/13/06

zala why don't you go back to writing your interviewer rape/murder stories, and leave intelligent conversation to the rest of us?

9/13/06

Njandrewg, if you are seriously arguing that your post was more on-topic and logical than mine, go ahead.

9/13/06

female ibankers around here to counter/confirm (!?) Dan's argument? :-)

9/13/06

I'm going to have to say yes.

"Shut up you New Jersey fuckhead.

I don't see why you needed to use profanity. And whats wrong with New Jersey?

9/13/06

My use of profanity has nothing to do with it, NJandrew. I was on-topic, I didn't try to derail the thread by bringing up the drama caused by coworker dating (which is irrelevant to the thread and Dan's question), and I addressed your thread to try to keep YOU on topic.

9/13/06

Dan asked for an explanation of what the dipping pen in company ink meant..I gave it to him

9/13/06

"don't dip your pen in company ink, I think this phrase is very relevant in ibanking, because most of these women are overworked and exhausted."

Honestly, what the fuck does this mean? This is terrible writing. Dipping your pen in the company ink has NOTHING to do with the women being overworked and exhausted. You shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Shut. Up.

9/13/06
9/13/06

[here is a better list rogue :P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions]

Yeah, but I was just looking for something quick that aims for the G-spot.

9/13/06

Its like an old phrase...kinda like "catch more bees with honey" or "can't catch 2 birds with 1 stone". And its not IB specific, its universal, you don't fuck another IBanker,just like at Mcdonalds you don't fuck another window server or whatever they are called.

9/13/06

Andrew, I know what the god damned expression means. I was referring to the poor flow (and irrelevance) of that post. You are so far behind. Forget it.

9/21/10
zala rules:

Andrew, I know what the god damned expression means. I was referring to the poor flow (and irrelevance) of that post. You are so far behind. Forget it.

Isn't it "kill two birds with one stone?"

fdba Emory Blaine and BBA or otherwise trying to find the perfect pseudonym.

9/21/10
aspiringmonkey:

Its like an old phrase...kinda like "catch more bees with honey" or "can't catch 2 birds with 1 stone". And its not IB specific, its universal, you don't fuck another IBanker,just like at Mcdonalds you don't fuck another window server or whatever they are called.

Isn't it "kill two birds with one stone?"

fdba Emory Blaine and BBA or otherwise trying to find the perfect pseudonym.

9/13/06

deal

Best Response
9/13/06

Dan/IBAspirant, as requested, a point of view from a female banker:

When I'm working more than 110 hours a week, I definitely don't have the sex drive I'd have if I was working 40. I also can't spend hours screwing... I mean, as tempting as it sounds, if I could set aside two hours for having sex, I'd probably choose to have sex for twenty minutes and then spend the rest of the time sleeping. I-banking has definitely made me more like a guy in certain ways. I don't want to waste time seducing, cuddling, pillow-talking, foreplaying, or artfully flashing glimpses of my lingerie. I want to get the job done, get my needs taken care of, and get on with my life.

Does that mean that I just lie there, however? Hell no. It's really hard for girls to enjoy sex when they're just lying there. I mean, if we get turned on, we're going to move around. It's almost hard-coded. It takes actual willpower to stay still in that circumstance.

So what happened? Dan, I'm sorry to say this, but my own personal opinion is that you might have gotten gypped. I know you think she came, but I think there's a possibility that she didn't. Girls fake it ALL the time. Sometimes there's just no other way to fulfill the responsibility that one takes on when one chooses to have sex with someone.

Of course, this says nothing about you. Even the world's greatest lover is going to have a hard time making a girl come if she's frigid, exhausted, anxious, resentful, or just not in the mood. We're not like you guys. The biological drive is just not as constant and overriding.

Hopefully I haven't offended anybody here or started a big drama thing... just seems like I'm one of the few females on this board, and female commentary was requested.

9/13/06

Everybody just calm down now. This post was not meant to engender so much hostility. It was simply me sharing an observation with fellow IBers.
RogueBanker, you just need to get that head of yours checked because you are one sick fuck. Fuck man, reading your comments makes me want to e-mail this post to the NYPD.

9/13/06

Dan, I would imagine most of the gunner females working in corpfin/IBD are rancid human beings to begin with.

  •  9/13/06

Dude Dan...getting kind of pathetic wouldn't you say? Banker by day, poor lover by night? Or vice versa.

And zala really needs to get your dick out of his mouth.

9/13/06

Hey, way to sling insults from behind the double protection of both anonymity and the internet!

9/13/06

"banker by day, poor lover by night," hahaha, thats a pretty good one. ill give you credit.

9/13/06

zala, why would they be rancid?

9/13/06

Dude, you should know better. Ask your question here. I can't do this through work email and personal emails are blocked. I'll give you an honest answer to just about whatever you ask.

9/13/06

alright, why would she fake it? i dont think she did, i dont mean ti be vulgar, but i could feel the clamp and her face got red.

  •  9/13/06

I dont know if the thread title is true, but a lot of the females in banks are hot. Some don't look that good but mostly all of them keep in shape, the job demands it

9/13/06

Well, for starters, was she really wet? That tends to tell you she's having orgasms.

9/13/06

yeah, she was, i am pretty confident she came. for the previous post, im at a bulge and there are some hot girls here, but they are not front office.

9/13/06

You actually asked two questions, Dan. One was how could she be faking it, the other was why. As to the former, well, it doesn't take long for a girl to figure out that if she doesn't want to get caught faking, she needs to clamp and jiggle. As to the latter, the reasons for girls doing this are myriad.

9/13/06

I'm not sure how you hit on girls in the office, it would be kind of like talking to random people in class and trying to hit on them (which I'm about to do tommorow, girl is hot like fire).

9/13/06

"zala, why would they be rancid?"

i don't know if i could answer that with your "dick in my mouth," but i'll try.

basically, think about the type of woman who would work 100 hours a week with the end goal of making a ton of money. i'm just going on personal experience here, but i can't see any healthy, wholesome girl i know giong into this line of work. not to mention most of these women are not going to be the understated, cultivated girls with modest wants - this is investment banking for christ's sake. this is the type of girl who salivates over $5000 dresses, purses, etc. do you see what i'm getting at?

9/13/06

By the way, I realize that even bringing up the possibility that girls can fake and guys can't tell is a little stab in men's dearest bastion of self-esteem. For this, I apologize. Feel free to consider yourself an exception to this situation if it helps.

9/13/06

i cant believe it. fake, shit. I'm going two floors down to have a little chat.

by the way, i disgaree w/zala. some women are just motivated.

9/13/06

"by the way, i disgaree w/zala. some women are just motivated."

this is more than JUST MOTIVATED, dan. these junior bankers aren't trying to cure cancer or write a groundbreaking book. they're generally after money and power.

mis ind: i read your post, and i am convinced that you msut be cool in real life. but tell me, with a straight face, that you don't know TONS of intolerable girls in banking like i described.

9/13/06

By the way, Zala, I'm wearing $39.99 shoes and carrying a 30-euro handbag. My main luxuries are good wine (Chile, South Africa, Spain) and perfume (Coco Mademoiselle, Narciso Rodriguez), but never at the same time. Please understand that the banking world is more varied than you seem to think.

9/29/10
Mis Ind:

By the way, Zala, I'm wearing $39.99 shoes and carrying a 30-euro handbag. My main luxuries are good wine (Chile, South Africa, Spain) and perfume (Coco Mademoiselle, Narciso Rodriguez), but never at the same time. Please understand that the banking world is more varied than you seem to think.

In addition to your post I also prefer to spend on travel, hobbies, nice apartment... There are few nice outfits to meet/greet clients

9/13/06

mis ind, i need dating advice. train me.

9/13/06

"even bringing up the possibility that girls can fake and guys can't tell is a little stab"

it is a stab in the direction of guys who freak out over how "good" they were in bed. if it weren't for them, girls wouldn't feel (nearly as) obligated to fake it. i could care less if you come.

9/13/06

South Africa? Stellenbosch wine? It's good but heck you could get better anywhere else, isn't really a luxury.

9/13/06

"Better" is a matter of perspective. Certain wines from South Africa (sauvignons blanc in particular) have an elusive steel and stone flavor that you don't get anywhere else. When I drink wine, I want to taste the terroir -- however rustic, however imperfectly expressed. What I don't want (and don't care about) is how many points WineSpec gave it. Had Cakebread. Had Cristal. Wasn't impressed. Now, the $11.99 bottle of Txakoli from the Basque region with the obviously-desktop-printed label and the hint of must from ancient sherry casks... THAT is fascinating. Nobody in the wine world ages wine in sherry casks because they all know better. Which makes the wine from the peasants who don't know better all the more interesting.

9/13/06

Dan, I probably don't understand dating much more than you do. I was never one of the cool popular girls and they always seemed to follow rules I didn't understand.

So here's my dating advice.

1: Be completely honest.
2: Hope that the girl is doing the same.
3: Dump her if she isn't.

9/13/06

I always thought that girls only went after assholes? Hence why I'm an asshole (even though deep down inside I'm not).

9/13/06

I know tons of people in banking, both tolerable and intolerable. (Some of the male behavior on this board has been just as bad as the female behavior you're complaining about, for instance.) I think on average bankers aren't the best bunch of people, but the sigma on this population is HUGE.

But yeah, there's a bleached-blonde girl on my floor who has twenty pairs of Jimmy Choos shoved up under her desk and is always dating the richest bankers, drinking their champagne at Marquee, and shopping with their credit cards. She won't spare me the time of day and brags about how she blows off entire afternoons to go shopping. Yes, there are girls in banking who are total wastes of makeup.

9/13/06

yeah, good point. why is that mis ind? why do girls seem to always flock to assholes? it high school it occured, but that was high school. in college it was the same, that is an institution too. but in real life, what do u gals see?

9/13/06

"why do girls seem to always flock to assholes?"

c'mon, dan, you're smarter than this. it's not about high school, it's not about college.

9/13/06

"I know tons of people in banking, both tolerable and intolerable. (Some of the male behavior on this board has been just as bad as the female behavior you're complaining about, for instance.)"

we're not talking about male bankers. say what you want about male bankers. i'm saying that i would put MONEY on the fact that the majority of female bankers are really terrible messed up, with major issues. i don't plan on dating these girls.

  •  9/13/06

Dan: for the previous post, im at a bulge and there are some hot girls here, but they are not front office.

So what department are they in. some of the ladies in front office at my place are hot, but look like they have real attitude problems. In other depts they are hot too but these girls are looking for any flash guy with a bit of cash.

A lot of the HR ones look ok.

9/13/06

i am going to start looking for girls who are doctors. fuck finance girls. i need a nice wholesome girl or im going to jump out of this fuckin window soon.

9/13/06

I'm getting me a housewife, fuck these career women, good thing every girl at my current college isn't career woman material, thank you southern colleges.

  •  9/13/06

housewife exactly the type I would want, prob is most girls at my college were the career type

  •  9/13/06

aggressive men are typically seen as "assholes" in our society. aggressive man kill for food. agressive man feed woman and babies = woman like aggressive men.

most women do not understand this attraction. most men who aren't confident assholes don't understand how the other guy does it. well guess what?, the asshole doesn't give a fuck if he's rejected so he goes up to any girl he finds attractive and tells the bitch how it's going to be. they in turn, see strength and are often turned on. EVOLUTION.

  •  9/13/06

get married senior year before graduation. 2 couples i no at yale did that and they are happy as shit. they both live in the burbs in central CT, they prolly pull in bout 100k per household (one is cop/teacher other is cop/lawyer and they all love their jobs. Im fucking quiting this 100 hour/week bullshit. Im movin to CT and becomin a cop.

9/13/06

Yeah, I think bankers need housewives. It really helps to have someone to take care of the homefront. There are things that maids/PAs just can't do.

  •  9/13/06

I sometimes think is it worth it, but then I wanna make some cash before I retire

9/13/06

"they in turn, see strength and are often turned on. EVOLUTION."

shut the fuck up, loser. you know nothing about evolutionary psych. that post was so painfully dumb.

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9/13/06

i actually tend to agree w/that post

9/13/06

"i actually tend to agree w/that post"

Are you talking about that evolutionary psychology post? You're an idiot if you tend to agree with it. Yes, there are EVOLUTIONARY reasons that an aggressive male can be attractive. But that person did not explain them, and is an idiot. Evolutionary psychology is a vast, complicated discipline, I assure you.

9/13/06

Hey, guys? Remember, in the midst of all this talk about which girls will make suitable mates for you, think about being a suitable mate for girls. It does go both ways.

8/1/10
Mis Ind:

Hey, guys? Remember, in the midst of all this talk about which girls will make suitable mates for you, think about being a suitable mate for girls. It does go both ways.

Well, very true..

Male I Bankers better know it goes both / either ways.. Females are equally good at consummating any deal with MIB.. No more StreetGirls can afford any chance to subotage their career.. For the poor guys story - lol...

  •  9/13/06

good point Ind, bottom line quit banking.

9/13/06

Yeah, I'm not marrying a banker dude. No way in hell. (And wouldn't a couple of you guys feel a little dissed if I started saying "Fuck banker dudes, they suck, they're lousy lovers, I'm gonna get me an artist/actor who knows how to fuck and who can actually hold a conversation without using the word "firm"? Let's all be polite and shit, okay? We all work way too hard to suffer the insults of our peers into the bargain.)

  •  9/13/06

mis ind: Hey, guys? Remember, in the midst of all this talk about which girls will make suitable mates for you, think about being a suitable mate for girls. It does go both ways

Looooooooooooooooooooooool

I don't think we care when I am bringing home the cash she will take me what ever way i am

9/13/06

Anonymous, I think you'll find that to be incorrect in the end. Not only are the best girls completely unbuyable, but if you don't look to your suitability as a mate, the girl will eventually leave you anyway. Look at all the rich guys who can't keep a wife.

I would think it's pretty transparent: guys who rely on their cash to buy wives are just tools for turning poor single women into rich divorced women. Think it through.

  •  9/13/06

mis Ind

I was only kidding, you r right. Why would I want a woman only iterested in my money. As once the cash is gone so will she. Much rather have a girl who I get on with. No one is perfect but as long as we can get on with eachother

  •  9/13/06

zala, the only idiot is someone who asks, "Why do girls like all these assholes?"

first off, it's not the fact that they are necessarily assholes that makes them attractive. being an asshole just happens to be highly correlated with high confidence which 99.999% of women want in their man.

have you ever sat back and actually asked yourself why? men act all confused when their women leave them: "but I gave her EVERYTHING"...yeah, everything except you were also a pussy and didn't show you were a man. every woman wants to be with a man that can protect them, and PROVIDE for them. it's not that complicated. why is physical attractiveness less important of a trait in overall attraction for women? because tehy are programmed to find the best provider for thier offspring.

"evolutionary psychology" is vast and complicated? ok, but we're talking about basic femael attraction here. so many guys are so clueless, like you.

9/13/06

"'evolutionary psychology' is vast and complicated? ok, but we're talking about basic femael attraction here. so many guys are so clueless, like you."

no, we were NOT TALKING ABOUT BASIC FEMALE ATTRACTION. That person brought up evolutionary psychology. I happen to know a little bit about it, so I showed that person why he was a fucking idiot for bringing up evolutionary psychology.

And don't try to explain to me the correlation between being an asshole + confidence, etc., etc. I am not a fucking idiot, and I think anyone past the age of 16 gets what you just "explained" for poor, "clueless" me. Re-read the thread, you little presumptuous shit.

9/13/06

why wouldnt you marry a banker dude. im a banker dude w/ a rule. whenever i go on dates i have 1 rule: i dont talk about business/finance/econ. I hate talking about it w/ girls, in fact a girl told me i was elusive vis a vis my career. go figure. i like to talk about sex, philosophy, politics, never fucking business. If a girl is wrapped up in my business conversation she is not having fun. this shit is not fun. the only reason we do it is b/c of the pay.

9/13/06

Hey, you see what I mean? You guys are talking all night long about how you would never date/marry a banker girl, fuck banker girls, fuck career girls, you're all going to marry nice good wholesome girls, and so forth. But I insinuate that I wouldn't want to marry a banker boy, and you get a bit defensive. All I'm saying is, let's be polite and think about things from everyone's point of view. We're all working our asses off, trying to make a buck, and trying to be happy into the bargain. If you think about it that way, you can understand all sorts of bizarre human behavior.

  •  9/13/06

damn right but I like the job too, but the main reason is the pay

9/13/06

i disagree w/ the above. i hope i read your post correctly, you said physical attractivness is less important for women, i disagree.

9/13/06

you dont like the job. nobody likes this shit. you like the money and you consequently trick urself into liking the jay oh bee.

  •  9/13/06

it's not that you need to be an a-hole to get women. you just need to have high confidence in yourself and that confidence will shine through an be extremely attractive. so many guys become little beggers when it comes to attractive females. a modestly attractive guy can land model after model with the proper attitude / intellect. i promise. one of my buddies is your typical avg joe - doesn't make a ton of money, isn't super good looking. but he's on a date with a 2-3 new gilrs a week. no exaggeration. it's all about his attitude.

9/13/06

The best way to keep a women is to make fun of her, let her know who's the man, also keep her in the guess, don't let her know everything, they get infatuated with that shit, "oh he's so mysterious."

Example: Woman says

  •  9/13/06

Dan Bush, studies have been done that show women VALUE attractiveness. But on a Relative basis, however, women list attractiveness further down thier list than men do on avg...it's mentioned in this study:

"http://www.sydneysymposium.unsw.edu.au/2006/Abstra..."

so if you disagree with me you disagree with science

  •  9/13/06

dan: you dont like the job. nobody likes this shit. you like the money and you consequently trick urself into liking the jay oh bee

I don't like the environment but I do like the job. Ok I would like less hours but I don't think there is any other job i would rather do. Apart from sportsman. Also the money is good. But it aint super the way I thought it would be

9/13/06

Mmm. Who wouldn't want to marry you bunch of strong, devilish, manly manly manly men? This whole conversation is a total turn-on.

9/13/06

Mis Ind, I'm still waiting for that picture.

  •  9/13/06

"The best way to keep a women is to make fun of her, let her know who's the man, also keep her in the guess, don't let her know everything, they get infatuated with that shit, "oh he's so mysterious."

Rogue, you got it. except i don't think chivalry is dead. you can still be a gentleman and keep your woman guessing.

9/13/06

Heh. Rogue, you ain't gonna get it. This career is crucial for me, and I'd be an idiot to risk it just so I can prove I'm hot. Besides, why should I prove I'm hot? There's nothing in it for me except maybe a little dollop of extra respect from you gents, and I can do without that.

9/13/06

mis ind, you're pretty mysterious. that, i might add, is a turn on. also, how do girls feel about guys who lift alot of weights. i have heard they dont like that.

9/13/06

Geez. My feelings on that matter are "whatever". I lift weights when I get a chance, just to keep some tone in my arms/shoulders/chest. I don't care if a guy lifts or not. I don't need muscle tone in a guy, but his mind has got to be top-rate.

If a guy blows me off for the gym, though? Oh hell no. We gon' have a throwdown up in here if that happen.

  •  9/13/06

apologies for coming off as presumptious. maybe i took offense with you calling me an idiot. so you completely disagree with my point of view? i'm no evolutionary psych expert, but I do know that women are attracted to confident men. i'm curious to hear your explanation of why women go for "assholes"? all i've heard is "you're an idiot"

  •  9/13/06

girls like guys that are in shape just like guys like girls that are in shape. you don't have to be jacked out of your mind, but having good muscle tone helps

9/13/06

I lift a lot of weights (not like body builder) but I have pretty decent size pecs/chest and arms. I can bench like 230 and curl like 110, nothing impressive but hey I get some good looks from the ladies in class.

Mis Ind, when will we go on our date? I promise I wont be a banker, how about an accountant?

9/13/06

i lift alot of weights and ive been told that girls get turned off by that. i dont believe it, b/c it gives me the confidence of the world, but a close friend i have told me in my college days that i scared girls. she said b/c i am pretty big, girls see me as intimadating. its an impossible situation, they see me an intimidating so they are afraid to talk to me, but i am shy, so im afraid to aproach them.

9/13/06

"i lift alot of weights and ive been told that girls get turned off by that. i dont believe it, b/c it gives me the confidence of the world, but a close friend i have told me in my college days that i scared girls."

Dan, that is bullshit. Keep lifting. On average, a girl MUCH prefers a muscular guy to a skinny fuck.

As far as the rest of your post: dude, you can be confident without scaring girls.

9/13/06

"mis ind, you're pretty mysterious. that, i might add, is a turn on. also, how do girls feel about guys who lift alot of weights. i have heard they dont like that."

Dan are you taking the piss or something? You're sounding like this is your first ever interaction with a girl...

9/13/06

sti go fuck yourself. im in IB. i work 9-2am. i dont have time to piss, let alone date. yes i go out about once every two weeks. no i havent talked to my friends in about 2 weeks. fuck off shit head. excuse me if i want to have a conversation in between inserting figures into this fucking sheet i have been stating at since monday. fuck off dick head.

9/13/06

^ Dan is a mack daddy, he just needs some guidance, like being an asshole.

9/13/06

exactly. sti should take his fucking bull shit elsewhere

9/13/06

"^ Dan is a mack daddy"

His posts suggest otherwise.

9/13/06

You should lift less, but do more reps. That way you get the tone/definition, and avoid those huge bulging muscles.

and as far as Mis Ind, i'm sure RogueBanker will settle for a bikini pic with a blurred out face

9/13/06

Like what? He's first post was that he laid some chick, what have you done that puts you in such a higher position?

9/13/06

well, i dont give a shit. i like heavy lifting, i like the bulk, fuck sti. Boom. Crabcakes and football, thats what Maryland does.

9/13/06

Heh. Hang on, let me just run home and get my picture taken in my bikini. I can't wait to show you guys what I look like in next to nothing so you can pin me up on the walls of your cubes and wonder if I'm the girl in the next cube.

I love you guys, but chill out, dudes. If you're that horny, do what I do and get yourself laid analyst-style: go to the bathroom, find yourself a nice secluded stall, and get to work. Porn is optional. Ain't no shame in that game, gents.

10/21/10
Mis Ind:

Heh. Hang on, let me just run home and get my picture taken in my bikini. I can't wait to show you guys what I look like in next to nothing so you can pin me up on the walls of your cubes and wonder if I'm the girl in the next cube.

I love you guys, but chill out, dudes. If you're that horny, do what I do and get yourself laid analyst-style: go to the bathroom, find yourself a nice secluded stall, and get to work. Porn is optional. Ain't no shame in that game, gents.

+1 for sheer honesty, and i have to say that i think you've been completely reasonable throughout this whole thread, and haven't pulled any punches where others certainly have... keepin it classy san diego, dig it...

9/13/06

That's bullshit that girls don't like bulk, the guy must be some European faggot. It's true that European girls go for guys who are skinny and have a small build but are really tone but American girls like bulky guys with some muscle. But then again European girls like niggers and cowboys so who the fuck knows about them.

9/13/06

Rogue, I'm sure there are tons of American girls who like the bulk, but I'm an American and I don't care if a guy's bulked out or not. In fact, the question I would ask of a bulky guy before dating him is whether or not he would expect me to be a total hardbody too. Because I ain't quitting my job to spend my life on an elliptical machine. I'm too short to be a model anyway.

9/14/06

Have you ever met a European girl in your life??? Huh, well I am one, so all you said is fucking B.S...Cowboys and niggers??? I've been in this country for 5 years and have not even met a cowboy. European girls, like all, prefer well-build guys, that doesn't mean pigs that think they are "bulky" because they lift. Next time you give "qualified opinions" check if you even know where Europe is.

9/13/06

Rogue:

"mis ind, i need dating advice. train me."

" yeah, good point. why is that mis ind? why do girls seem to always flock to assholes? it high school it occured, but that was high school. in college it was the same, that is an institution too. but in real life, what do u gals see?"

Do those posts not suggest that he has no idea?

9/13/06

"You should lift less, but do more reps. That way you get the tone/definition, and avoid those huge bulging muscles."

That's not true. Tone/definition depends on your bf%, not on the type of excercise you do. You're right in saying that low (6-8) reps creates muscle, and that's why you should stick to that rep range.

9/13/06

10 - 12 reps at your max is muscle mass, anymore is indurance. To get abs you can't just do a bunch of reverse crunches, you need to have low body fat like suggested above so that you can actually see the muscle.

Mis Ind, what is your email? I'm going to get this picture someway, somehow.

9/13/06

Oh hey, Rogue? I'm not letting this go through work email and private email is blocked from here. I think you should go download a picture of Jenna Jameson and pretend it's me. Make sure you leave it on your hard drive where the techies can find it.

9/13/06

This thread is nothing short of being ON FIRE

Hot topic huh?

Banking > VC > Tech PE; PM me if you would like any advice I'm happy to help

9/13/06

Rogue, you need to chill with the picture. Everybody else, chill with being critical of my posts. I dont give a fuckin shit. You guys know you are curious about these issues. Dont give me "o im too manly and confident to ask."

9/13/06

I don't care what they find, it would be worth it to get a picture of sweet little Mis Ind (let me guess 5 foot 5, 110lbs, c cup, nice behind).

9/13/06

as if you fucks dont need dating advice. im grown up, im confident in my position, i dont mind asking a girl on a forum for advice. you fucks were the guys in high school who would constantly snicker when people would ask legit questions, fuck off.

9/13/06

Mis Ind, so mysterious. im goin with Ro's descrip.

9/13/06

Mis Ind, so you don't care if a guy has a nice body? Let says firm pecs, big upper body etc? Like if some skinny wimpy guy would be alright to you? That's crazy, if I saw a good looking gal with some skinny dork I would be pissed like wtf wtf wtf wtf illegal operation, my brain would explode.

9/13/06

Nope, I personally don't care. I've dated slim and compact men, and I don't think they're inferior at all. I think I would feel a little weird if they were skinnier than I am, or if I had way better muscle tone (either would make me feel less feminine), but other than that, no big deal. It's all about what he's got upstairs.

9/13/06

Pretty good guess, Rogue. Safe guess, but good guess.

  •  9/13/06

Do your lives revolve around sex?

9/13/06

"you fucks were the guys in high school who would constantly snicker when people would ask legit questions, fuck off."

No, in high school i pretty much dedicated my life to getting laid, and hence have worked out all this bullshit long ago - i thought everybody was the same.

9/13/06

yes

9/13/06

"Do your lives revolve around sex?"

It's funny that the top 3 threads in this forum have turned to discussing sex/girls (granted this one started on that topic) - is this saying something about bankers?

9/13/06

Maybe you guys should think about more important questions in life, like the after-life, God and the spiritual life instead of discussing primitive earthly matters.

9/13/06

i like down stairs, so low that there are no more stairs.

9/13/06

Of course, remember I'm the girl with the $39.99 shoes. I'm clearly not all that obsessed with having high-status objects or boyfriends. Don't try to apply what I'm saying to girls that are more status-oriented. I have no idea what those girls want out of life.

9/13/06

sure robert, lets talk about that shit. so then when we are dead, we will have lived "good lives." i happen to like "primative earthly matters." i think "the spiritual life" causes every problem the world can muster.

9/13/06

Running around and trying to get laid is empty.

9/13/06

Eh. Rogue, my advice would be counter to the advice of most of the guys on this board. I think things will go best if you don't try to play games, don't make fun of her, and don't try to be a cool asshole. Just be laid back but smile, compliment her, and make sure she knows you're interested.

Personally, I think it takes a pretty big man to walk up to a girl and say, "Hey, I think you're beautiful and devastatingly intelligent (or funny, or down to earth, or whatever her best mental quality is), and I'd like to take you to dinner. When's the best time for you?"

See, a guy who says that is suave, self-confident, and unafraid of rejection. Even if she does turn him down, which will be hard, he'll probably just shrug and say, "I understand. If you change your mind, give me a call." Shrug it off, dude. Her loss.

9/13/06

i would definaetly takr Ind's advice.
As for robert, people on this board are not "running around trying to get laid." we all happen to be human beings who have needs. Tell me who is emptier. one who runs around preaching or one who finds a companion, has sex, and actually lives his life?

9/13/06

Damn, that's pretty good advice.

9/13/06

One thing that IS true from some of the other advice on this board is that you never let a woman see your fear. However, I think the best way to do that is to be completely at ease with who you are, not try to belittle who she is. You don't need a woman's approval to feel good and be worthwhile. So if she turns you down, then shrug and move on. She's probably got something going on in her personal life, or maybe she's just not into you for whatever reason. It doesn't mean you're a scrub, or that your girl-getting mojo has disappeared forever, or that you won't ever get laid again.

Sheesh. You boys. Always struggling for status against each other and with women.

Of course, now that I think of it, girls are the same damn way.

9/13/06

How is screwing analysts in your department equate to finding a companion?

9/13/06

believe it or not some hooking up can be a good ice breaker. now if it is purely for sex, than who the hell cares. humans have desires. Why not fulfill them so long as nobody gets hurt?

9/13/06

rogue you can try this;
for the first 3 days, "hi"

4th day - "hey, what's up?"

5th day - "did you do something different with your hair?"

the following monday - "What'd you do over the weekend? Have fun with your boyfriend?"

if response = "yeah, we went to ***", bail
else, "you don't have a boyfriend? are you serious? I thought you had one since you're cute", continue small talk

at end of small talk, "hey, I gotta go.. here's my number. Call me sometime and we'll have coffee or something

ofcourse it works best at the start of the semester. And it helps if you make it a point to sit next to her

9/13/06

Come on it's seriously not that difficult. Just ask her something about the class (i.e. when is the test, which topics does it cover) and take it from there.

The classroom has got to be one of the easiest places to pick up.

9/13/06

girls maybe the same way, but they sure dont show it.

9/13/06

See I was going to skip all that and go straight to the "hey, what's up, how was your weekend" routine, even though she probably doesn't know my name (but hey she does sit next to me all the time and I always catch her looking at me). Now if she goes "hey I had fun blah blah blah" then I'll pull the "have fun with your boyfriend?" or something, see how it goes.

9/13/06

[The classroom has got to be one of the easiest places to pick up.]

I've never picked up in a class before; always at parties and social gatherings was my thing.

9/13/06

dude, i wouldnt go with the bodyfriend question. you will be able to see if she is interested. if she is she prolly doesnt have a BF.

9/13/06

Yeh parties are definately the easiest, but the classroom is good because it's easy to start conversation. Shopping centres and random public places are far more difficult.

9/13/06

No, don't do that. Girls know that when a boy makes reference to their boyfriend without having been told about him first, they're fishing. I'm telling you, be honest and don't play games, not even tiny harmless ones like that one. It's so much better to just come right out and ask her. If she says she has a boyfriend, just say, "Yeah, figures. Well, if you ever get bored of him, give me a call." That's kind of cocky, but if you say it with the right grin, it can be fine.

If I was a guy and in a super-cocky mood, I would say, "That's no problem. Tell me where he lives; I'll send some of my guys over to keep him busy while you and I go out. Is Friday or Saturday night better for you?" Said with the right kind of humor, it would at least get a laugh out of her. This would work extra-well for guys who can work the gangster angle, but would still be funny coming from a WASP.

9/13/06

"That's no problem. Tell me where he lives; I'll send some of my guys over to keep him busy while you and I go out. Is Friday or Saturday night better for you?"

girls who are turned on by this probably grew up in the ghetto.

9/13/06

see if she is on it

9/13/06

I know she's single (the power of facebook) but then again I think she went through a recent breakup, I'm like counter strike on this shit. I should join a frat though, even though I'm not a freshman, I always work the party scene way better.

9/13/06

altho probably not the ghetto, but definetly sounds like she wants someone with a bad boy attitude

9/13/06

I'm not saying it's a turn-on, I'm saying it's funny.

Then again, I grew up across the train tracks from the ghetto (although not actually in it), so what do I know?

9/13/06

All right, I'm out. Fucking associate made me wait four hours while he did other stuff, then ditched me because he got too tired to turn my shit. Buenos noches, beetches. Hasta manana.

9/13/06

Mis Ind...you are too kind. your advice is dead on. "cocky but funny" always wins the day.

9/14/06

mr ind is the shit.

9/14/06

I think she is the only girl/hottie on this forum.

9/14/06

all the posts marked "new" in this thread and those amounted to over 100! You guys have done some serious typing :-)

Ms Ind, I enjoyed your mature and well thought-out comments. The one about wine is the most intriguing as it imparts a waft of your personality. Much appreciated!

  •  9/14/06

i interned in equity research this summer, that shit was boring as fuck and convinced me that banking is the way to go, but holy crap there were MAD female associates up in there and a lot of em were hot!

too bad for the chinese wall, if any of you are in sales and trading you should hit up them research associates

(fyi for anyone not familiar, in research first years are associates and their superiors are analysts)

  •  9/14/06

Good god...what a bunch of sad sack fucks.

Did we all lose our pertinent social skills when we became bankers?

$39.99 shoes...fuck...

9/14/06

I know. $39.99 shoes; how lame is that? You're definitely too cool for this board, Anonymous, and should go to some other i-banking forum where the shoes are more expensive.

9/14/06

there are hot chick in equity research or IB?

  •  9/14/06

"The one about wine is the most intriguing as it imparts a waft of your personality."

what a fucking faggot.

9/14/06

Out of me unworthy and UNKNOWN
The vibrations of deathless music.

Edgar Lee

9/14/06

Yes.

9/14/06

Anybody else notice that the most pointlessly insulting posts are all anonymous, and all in the same tone? Some poor guy is working out his frustrations here, flinging anonymous insults at people who are just chatting. I can't imagine that this kind of behavior really helps, but I hope you feel better soon, dude.

9/14/06

Yeah, I don't mean to sound like a total prude, but let's cool it with the hatred and bigotry around here. Those who would consider themselves better than the rest of the world should at least work to set a good example, right? What's the use of being a hotshot banker if you're as narrow-minded, prejudiced, and shallow as the rest of the world?

9/14/06

Mis Ind - frankly, after reading this thread, I'm not sure why you bother. Absent your posts, this entire thing is so hysterical (in the schadenfreude sort of way) that it's made a couple guys at my consultancy either crack up or beat their heads on the desk. "if you disagree with me you disagree with science"... le science, c'est moi. Love it.

Anyway, there seems to be little room around here for 1) maturity, and 2) those who aren't overly materialistic. I can laugh at the one, because it'll go away eventually (I hope), but the people here who see women as trophies to be acquired honestly make me sad, because THAT shows a total lack of character. Here we are, an investment banking forum, and the only qualities that interest these guys about you is your picture. Don't they have bars to ply those trades? These are practically the highest-paid people in this city, and they speak and think on the level of high school seniors.

So m4d pr0ps to you for keeping up on here, I hope you get at least something out of it.

-D

9/14/06

I do actually get something out of this, D. Hopefully this isn't too metaphysical for this board, but when I speak to you guys, I'm also speaking to the asshole part of myself that could feel and act the same way. Of course it's very easy to overlook those traits in oneself, which is why it's easier to provide guidance to others than to oneself. But I guarantee you, this guidance that's coming out of my mouth (or rather, fingers?) is a good thing for me to hear... even though I'm also the one saying it.

Hypocritical? You could call it that. What I'm actually doing, now that I realize it, is sneaking some self-guidance past my ego in the guise of advice to others. Pretty nifty, huh?

At any rate, feel free to tell me to shut up and take it elsewhere. I realize that this is not the best place to engage in refinement of the self.

9/14/06

ms ind, how are you this fine afternoon?

9/14/06

rogue banker, you really need to stop. if there are any black-americans on this forum, i would like to express my sorrow that this slave master exists.

9/14/06

ur world view is quite perversed.

9/14/06

Now as I think of it, most of my friends are non-White, even my best friend is from China. But anyway, how is my world perversed? Explain.

9/14/06

dude, im too lazy to type the whole thing out. your underlying hostility is manifested in your choice of words. you have been quite vulgar.

9/14/06

Dan, I'm doing beautifully. Nobody is yelling at me to get them their stuff, and I'm working for two guys who are each at least 750 miles away right now. Also, I got six hours of sleep last night and walked in twenty minutes late... and nobody noticed. My bank account is overdrawn, but I get paid tomorrow. My standalone took less than half the time I expected. All in all, it's a perfect storm situation for an analyst. How are you today?

9/14/06

i was good until i just got the sack of paper literally tossed on my lap. my md walked by on his cell phone and seriously dropped this shit on my lap and said "try and see if you could get your arms around this." looks like an all nighter in the making.

9/14/06

Man, sometimes I get these weird urges to crack jokes like, "Sure, I'll get my arms around it just long enough to take it to the recycling bin." Instead, I smile and say, "Sure, I'll get right on that." I'm terrified that some day something will slip, though.

9/14/06

ha, i cant imagine his reaction. if i ever want to quit ill try it out.
rogue, man u need help.

9/14/06
Dan Bush:

ha, i cant imagine his reaction. if i ever want to quit ill try it out.
rogue, man u need help.

Rogue has been put on probation. He is currently not able to post comments or create forums. We will give him a second chance and take him off probation some time in the next few days...if he keeps up his racist BS, he'll be gone.

9/14/06

"Sure, I'll get my arms around it if you'll put you'll get your lips around my cock. I'm warning you, though, this is an all-nighter in the making if you agree. Deal?"

9/14/06

BananaMan - what is the syntax for quoting, as you've done there? I can't find any list of markup syntax that we can use on the forum.

Mis Ind - personal growth is a hard thing to accomplish and an even harder thing to continuously stick with. Who's going to begrudge useful advice just because it feels good for you to post it?

In any event, I'll admit to being curious why you think you have so much need of resisting the urge to being an asshole. You seem to have more figured out for yourself than most monkeys on here.

-D

9/14/06

press the quote button

9/14/06

thats good, but rogue can just create another user name

9/14/06

BananaMan, you should make me a monitor, as i have
baboon status and created a 170response post.

9/14/06
Dan Bush:

BananaMan, you should make me a monitor, as i have
baboon status and created a 170response post.

every forum calls that person a moderator not monitor.

9/14/06

ms ind, you still out there?

9/14/06

Yep, I'm out here, but I have to get some serious work done tonight at some point.

9/14/06

i would be a good moderator, not monitor

9/14/06

everyone who is already working full time would be a bad one, since you have no time to check the forums

9/14/06

from 9- about 5 im just shooting the shit. the work comes in >5 or 6

9/15/06

Dan, don't you hate that? You sit around and surf the web until all the associates get their heads out of their asses, which happens at dinnertime. Then they give you a night's worth of shit to do and go home.

I think this job could be done in 12 hours a day if people would respect our time.

2/1/07
Mis Ind:

Dan, don't you hate that? You sit around and surf the web until all the associates get their heads out of their asses, which happens at dinnertime. Then they give you a night's worth of shit to do and go home.

I think this job could be done in 12 hours a day if people would respect our time.

I agree that this job could totally be done in 12 hours a day, 5 days a week in most cases, but I definitely don't agree blaming the associates (I am one, obviously).

I understand there are bad associates, but keep in mind, the MD's and VP's are doing the same waiting game crap to Associates as you perceive them doing to Analysts. I very rarely leave before my analysts and occasionally my analysts leave before me. Maybe I just rock :)

I had one time, a VP made me come in at noon Sunday for a conference call. He called in at noon and said he was going to come in at 4 and we would discuss it then. He showed up at 6 and did not meet with me until 8. Then my analyst and I started working and stayed til 4AM to get the latest draft of his pitch done.
We get screwed too.

9/15/06

this job can be done at home by a 5th grade student who knows how to add and subtract

1/31/07

NEVER FORGET!

1/31/07

lol, this thread is hilarious.

  • Slams

...

1/31/07

Pretty damn interesting in addition to entertaining. Thanks for resurrecting this prospie!

2/1/07

Alexey, I do know. When I said "people", I meant everyone, as I've seen the trickle-down effect from VPs and MDs to associates. Earlier in my post I was referring to associates who mismanage analysts due to their own carelessness (of course that's what hurts me the most, since I'm an analyst). In my group, I'd say offhand that those make up about one in four associates. It sounds like you're not one of those anyway.

2/5/07

"...when it was over she proclaims 'that was awesome' and proceeds to smoke a cigarette.."

fucking sweet.

2/5/07

So how much dating/sleeping together goes on within a firm? Is it common?

8/25/08

this is stupid ... if you live in NYC and have a bad sex life that is your own fault

8/25/08

Funny post. Judging by the OP's writing style, she probably faked it lol. But again, that was 2 years ago so he probably improved a lot.

10/10/08

Why would you even sleep with a banker chick, there are way hotter girls in NYC?

2/8/09

This whole thread read like 12 yr olds trying to flirt on msn. =S

2/8/09

wtf are people bumping all these long dead threads now...

3/14/10

It's funny, 2 banker chicks in my office were saying that "banker guys are bad in bed" because they never get any practise, so they go for barmen and people with a social life.

I had sex with a banker chick and we dated for a while - it was great.

To the guy who posted this - I agree with another guy who posted on here - get a friend and tell him about your sad life... nobody else cares that you think your good in bed.

3/14/10

it is a 3-year old dead post. why do you care lol?

3/14/10

I call troll

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path"
-Frank Underwood

8/1/10
Dan Bush:

I had an experience last night that was rather unfortunate: I had sex with one of my female co-workers over at her place and it sucked. Now before I tell you what occurred I would like to put this in context. I have been told I am sexually proficient -actually I have been told I was great many times, but for the sake of modesty we will say proficient. This female compatriot is rather hot. When I say hot, I am distinguishing between cute and hot; that said, she was hot. So we get down to it and she just lie abed. She just lied there expecting me to do all the work. I did do all the work and when it was over she proclaims 'that was awesome' and proceeds to smoke a cigarette. Now what the fuck. I have worked with this analyst-ette many times over and I know how to gauge her level of sincerity. She was sincere, for I hope she was since she came, as it were. Now, normally I would just cast this episode aside and lapel it an unfortunate experience. I would also cast her aside, sexually that is, and probably call her a sexual miser -that is a sexual cheapskate. Indeed I have already done that. However, what engenders this post is not this one experience, but rather a history of them. Yes that is correct, a history, or many experiences akin to the aforementioned. It is this observation, and two others that force me to label IBD Analyst-ettes as sexual misers.

Your post on your sexual conquests is really in bad taste.

9/21/10

Assuming you're telling the story accurately -- and BTW you've given us no details about her motives...

Are you really that surprised you're meeting straight-laced girls in BANKING? Maybe you should go to some punk shows instead.

9/21/10

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