Friends with benefits zoned

How do I move out of the fuck buddy zone into dating material? Or what should I do differently next time?

Context: So I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with this dude I know. At first, I didn't think that I'd want anything emotionally involved or complicated. But obviously, since I'm a girl, I get attached.

BTW, we're both about equally attractive, if that matters. I've heard I'm the hotter one out of us, but it depends on personal preference. We've been just friends for two years but started hooking up recently. He's a year older and had an s&t gig at a bb in ny last summer...dunno if he gets an ego trip from that.

 

I can't wait for this thread to completely blow up tomorrow morning and It'll stay ridiculous for the next week. As for the actual question at hand, my opinion is to simply talk to him about all of this. Sure, it can completely fuck up the friends with benefits thing, but if your willing to risk that for a relationship, do it.

And I have to agree with APAE, username is gold.

 

contrary to previous comments, i think a lot of modern day relationships do start with a quick meet-and-hookup, especially in NY

you're just ahead of the curve

with that said if you're in school it mayyyy not be the best way to start a relationship: the jealous chicks will always talk about you this way

re: whether he gets a trip out of an bb s&t gig if you had to ask .......... yes

 
Best Response
whoreton:
insight into his mind
Don't reduce this guy to the stereotype of a "Wall Street Guy", because if he is then you're nothing more than a piece of ass. Truthfully, the majority of people here AREN'T spitting images of Michael Douglas' character, so it sounds like you may need to get to know them better. If you really want to get this guy to coMmitt, then do like relinquis said and stop making it so easy for him to take you for granted. Ask yourself why you're in the situation you're in and get control of yourself....YOU are the one that you can control, not this guy.

BTW, this logic applies to both men and women: figure out why you like them and what you really want...and then start setting better boundaries. Guys get attached too, so stop thinking in terms of stereotypes and start paying attention to the details of your situation. Sometimes, you have to put someone at a distance for a while to sort your own shit out and also get a better view of who they are. Are you letting yourself be taken for granted, or is the guy not interested in a relationship: get inside your own head and be honest about why you're so afraid to be more assertive about what you want from this guy. You need to be proactive about this, he's not going to just figure out what you're thinking and may even want the same things...but just making yourself sexually available with no strings attached will not get you what you want: I'm telling you this as a guy.

If you're on here asking random people about a random stereotype as it applies to your particular situation, you may want to actually start paying more attention to your particular situation.

Get busy living
 

At first I started reading this thinking, man what self respecting male wants to move OUT of fuck-buddy zone, then I realized its a chic... and everything in the universe is, once again, as it should be.

 
aempirei:
Guys don't view friends-with-benefits girls as girlfriend material (usually).

Exactly. If he really liked you, he'd date you.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 
Kenny Powers:
aempirei:
Guys don't view friends-with-benefits girls as girlfriend material (usually).

Exactly. If he really liked you, he'd date you.

KP re-establishes himself as team leader.
My name is Nicky, but you can call me Dre.
 

You could be his fuck buddy, but how sure are you that he doesn't have a GF already? It's been done before and a lot of guys on Wall Street does have these kind of dirty little secrets.

Just from personal experience alone, I never dated or have considered dating a fuck buddy. I guess you can say it's because of my own insecurities.

 

Good trolling... I'll bite for the benefit of others and because this was so well executed (great name)...

So far, you've been played (or have done it to yourself). Just cut him off of sex, but allow him to hang out / date you. He'll fall for you and you'll start relating in a more meaningful manner.

Don't end up like this girl...

http://www.youtube.com/embed/M2ZdIxjiKqA?rel=0

 

Just one idea - ask if it's alright if you start dating one of his friends - it'll drive him nuts and make him want you more.

There's always the threat of the 'cutoff' as well - just say hey, this is great, but if this isn't going anywhere I gotta move on.

Has he indicated to you whether it's serious - e.g. any talk of meeting the folks, traveling together, etc.? How long have you been in the fwb zone now? And what age are the two of you?

frgna

if you like it then you shoulda put a banana on it
 
whore:
How do I move out of the fuck buddy zone into gang bang material? Or what should I do differently next time?

Context: So I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with this dude I know. At first, I didn't think that I'd want anything straining up my butt or complicated. But obviously, since I'm a girl, I experiment.

BTW, we're both about equally ugly, if that matters. I've heard I'm the uglier one out of us, but it depends on personal preference. We've been just friends for two years but started sodomizing recently. He's a year older and had an s&t gig at a bb in ny last summer...dunno if he gets an ego trip from that.

Fixed that for you.

 
Boreed:
whore:
How do I move out of the fuck buddy zone into gang bang material? Or what should I do differently next time?

Context: So I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with this dude I know. At first, I didn't think that I'd want anything straining up my butt or complicated. But obviously, since I'm a girl, I experiment.

BTW, we're both about equally ugly, if that matters. I've heard I'm the uglier one out of us, but it depends on personal preference. We've been just friends for two years but started sodomizing recently. He's a year older and had an s&t gig at a bb in ny last summer...dunno if he gets an ego trip from that.

Fixed that for you.
9/10. Well done.
 
whoreton:
I've heard I'm the hotter one out of us
Who told you this? Your girl friends? I'm sorry, not trying to be mean or anything, but you have to understand how this looks from our point of view. The guy is ok with hooking up with you, but hasn't done anything to suggest that he wants to date you. Have you been out in public with him when it's just been the two of you together? My guess is no, or only very briefly. If you were the hotter of the two of you, I have a hard time believing he wouldn't want to lock you up on the spot. Either that or he doesn't think you're compatible with him personality-wise, even though you guys have been "friends" for two years...
 

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