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Wall Street Oasis » Forums » Monkeying Around
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Girl trouble - am I being petty?
 

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RatinaMaze's picture
RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 7:45pm

Ok monkeys, be gentle with me.

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. So I told her how I felt to kinda compensate for the what may appear to be semi regular contact. She was angry at ms for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months she remained in the country (she was from Pakistan, smoking hot as well) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Facebook. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise. We started skyping, calls and texts again

Finally, I actually visited Pakistan because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm graduating next week (year late because graduation is always a year later here) and she's gonna be there. Would it be petty for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.

Monkeys, normally I wouldn't out this stuff up here but you guys have been pretty helpful to me thus far and really need some advice. I don't wanna be a douchebag but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can click her fingers and I'll come running.

Apologies for the long post but thought it better to present the full story.

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Tags:
  • games
  • Monkeying Around
whatwhatwhat's picture

tl; dr / grow a pair

whatwhatwhat
      HF
 
(King Kong, 1,409
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 8:03pm

tl; dr / grow a pair

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trazer985's picture

you're being petty. Chances

trazer985
      ST
 
 
(King Kong, 1,747
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 8:08pm

you're being petty. Chances are she likes you but has issues beyond male comprehension.

lets put it this way. a real man wouldnt be bothered by that. he'd get on with his life, let her get on with hers without doing any chasing and she'd come running back.

P.s.tip for future. Her way of not replying was a way of keeping your attention.

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CaptK's picture

As one of the above posters

CaptK
      PE
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,344
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 8:09pm

As one of the above posters said, she's got some shit going on that's beyond male comprehension. She probably doesn't even know what she wants. There really is only one tactic that has any chance of salvaging it. If you continue on your current course, you're going to be permanently "friended".

Here it is - you need to bang someone else and make sure she knows about it. Seriously. All the better if you pick said girl up at a bar in front of her, dance a bit, make out, and then take said new girl home. She needs to know she can't drag her feet, and needs to see that you'll bounce elsewhere if she keeps this shit up and she'll miss her chance. Plus there's a lot of basic female psychology you'll trigger that will make her want you after seeing you with another hot girl. Do it, don't apologize.

- Capt K -
"Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

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09grad's picture

^^yep

09grad
      PE
 
 
(Orangutan, 337
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 8:12pm

^^yep

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bfin's picture

She is a women if you were

bfin
      CF
 
(Neanderthal, 2,773
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 8:30pm

She is a women if you were suppose to understand she'd tell you in black in white. In other words, just keep it moving. Lastly, yes you're being petty..holding a grudge over a girl no need no time. FBGM

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

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adiolan's picture

God only knows whats going

adiolan
      PE
 
(Senior Chimp, 25
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 9:44pm

God only knows whats going through her mind.
I agree w/ everything the above posters have said. Just make sure, whatever you wind up doing, that you don't lose your dignity and manhood. Looking like a self-sorry, unconfident pushover won't get you anything other than pity.

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pacman007's picture

Duuuude, you're letting her

pacman007
     
 
(Gorilla, 668
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 9:58pm

Duuuude, you're letting her play you. You gotta let her know that you got bigger fish to fry. I don't mean that you should completely ignore her, but make sure she understands that your time is important. Girls aren't that difficult once you understand they want your attention (initially)....eventually they want much more, sometimes more than you'd be willing to give up for them.

I say you say hi to her and make small talk, but show no aggressive emotions. Make sure you act like you got other things going on in life (hopefully you actually DO have other things going on).

Good luck, if it doesn't work out make sure you play your cards right on the next one.

Oh yea, some Paki girls are pretty hot, hotter than indian girls (unless you're dating a bollywood actress), just my opinion.

"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a Champion" - Muhammad Ali

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Arbrotrageur's picture

@ adiolan & op: Not to be a

Arbrotrageur
      ST
 
(Senior Monkey, 76
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 10:04pm

@ adiolan & op: Not to be a dick for the sake of being a dick, but with this girl, you already have 'lost your dignity & manhood' and 'looked like a self-sorry, unconfident pushover' to quote adolian.

First, you need to completely forget this broad because she is unsalvageable. Then, you need to take some time to find and read some resources that are available about game or whatever you want to call it unless you want to get played, fucked with, and just generally used by bitches for the rest of your life. Its society's fault more than yours that you're dealing with women in this conventional manner, but the earlier you improve this the better.

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International Pymp's picture

wow... here's a free

International Pymp
      RE
 
 
(King Kong, 1,882
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 10:12pm

wow... here's a free lesson

1) From the book of Insecuritas (9:14:1): 'Treat a girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud.'

When you see her, tell her that it's nice to see her, and that she shouldn't listen to "what everyone has been saying" because she doesn't look "all that bad". Then don't talk to her. She'll get pissed and her insecurities will start to eat her alive... and she'll skype you within the next week looking for some sort of validation. If she complains say "listen woman, why the fuck you trying to stress me all the time? We haven't even fucked *yet* and you act like we're married... you scare me"... She'll be mad and likely act all offended and hang up... just wait - patiently. It won't be more than 48 more hours till she calls TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU. At that point, suggest perhaps that she takes you out for a drink to say sorry... proceed to get smashed and then do work on that ass... she'll be begging for it, wondering if she really is looking ugly or if you still want her.

Class dismissed

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wolverine19x89's picture

Girls and their fucking

wolverine19x89
      O
 
(King Kong, 1,845
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 10:11pm

Girls and their fucking games... of course a woman would get mad at you for ignoring her after she constantly ignores you. Are all women so self entitled? I'm also sick of their games and I'm going to use them for the only use most of the crazy ones have... a cum dumpster.

Try finding a girl that doesn't play games... God speed. I think you'll have a better chance becoming partner at KKR.

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

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Im with Busey's picture

Very simple: You say hello to

Im with Busey
      IB
 
(Baboon, 171
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 10:30pm

Very simple: You say hello to her but then immediately begin talking to another girl. She will most likely get jealous and try to pry herself between you and your new interest. This is the important part, you stay on target like Jek Tono Porkins and give her nothing.

She will then be all over you.

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wolfy's picture

Doesn't know what she wants /

wolfy
      CO
 
 
(Gorilla, 611
 
Points)
 on 6/8/11 at 10:32pm

Doesn't know what she wants / fucking games.

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RatinaMaze's picture

adiolan wrote: God only knows

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:12pm
adiolan:

God only knows whats going through her mind.
I agree w/ everything the above posters have said. Just make sure, whatever you wind up doing, that you don't lose your dignity and manhood. Looking like a self-sorry, unconfident pushover won't get you anything other than pity.

Thats what I'm saying. I dont want to be considered petty, i.e. someone holding a grudge over a small matter (to some not necessarily to me) for so long (will be a year).

But also worried that if I act like I'm OK with what transpired, it makes me look like an idiot. She can do whatever and I will come back.

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RatinaMaze's picture

Arbrotrageur wrote: @ adiolan

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:15pm
Arbrotrageur:

@ adiolan & op: Not to be a dick for the sake of being a dick, but with this girl, you already have 'lost your dignity & manhood' and 'looked like a self-sorry, unconfident pushover' to quote adolian.

First, you need to completely forget this broad because she is unsalvageable. Then, you need to take some time to find and read some resources that are available about game or whatever you want to call it unless you want to get played, fucked with, and just generally used by bitches for the rest of your life. Its society's fault more than yours that you're dealing with women in this conventional manner, but the earlier you improve this the better.

I dont want to salvage anything anyway. Its not like I still am in love with her. Plus, the thing with Pakistani women is that they are a tease. My friend said that they like to come abroad, have their fun and go back home and marry where their parents wish is.

I want to be friends as I want her in my life but is that unsalvageable?

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RatinaMaze's picture

Im with Busey wrote: Very

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:18pm
Im with Busey:

Very simple: You say hello to her but then immediately begin talking to another girl. She will most likely get jealous and try to pry herself between you and your new interest. This is the important part, you stay on target like Jek Tono Porkins and give her nothing.

She will then be all over you.

That doesnt work. She's very stubborn. I've done it once after we hooked up. She wasnt that interested and carried on with her evening. She's a really outgoing girl and has loads of friends so if its not me, she'll hang with someone else.

Again, to make it clear, I've passed the stage of me still having feelings for her but if I ignore her, she'll think its an unrequited love thing when it so isnt.

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RatinaMaze's picture

scottj19x89 wrote: Girls and

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:19pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

I should mention that on one

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:20pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

wolfy wrote: Doesn't know

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:21pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

International Pymp

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:21pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

Anyone with any experience

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:22pm
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nontarget's picture

Dude. paki girls are like

nontarget
      O
 
(Orangutan, 320
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:25pm
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nontarget's picture

RatinaMaze wrote: Anyone with

nontarget
      O
 
(Orangutan, 320
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 1:27pm
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UFOinsider's picture

Good grief man, I couldn't

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,349
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 2:01pm

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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sandstorm's picture

From a girl's POV: 1. You are

sandstorm
      CO
 
(Monkey, 41
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 2:03pm

"When I was over my dad's house I stubbed my toe and I yelled out "Mother F^@ker!" My dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, i had to high five him."

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Clarkey's picture

You're a sensitive boy,

Clarkey
      PE
 
 
(Gorilla, 567
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 2:23pm
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UFOinsider's picture

Clarkey wrote: You're a

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,349
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 2:26pm

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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FinancialNoviceII's picture

First up, feel bad for you.

FinancialNoviceII
      CS
 
(Neanderthal, 2,460
 
Points)
 on 6/9/11 at 7:38pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

UFOinsider wrote: Good grief

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 12:44pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

Clarkey wrote: You're a

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 12:46pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

FinancialNoviceII

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 12:58pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

I should also point out some

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 1:00pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

Female perspective out there?

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 1:01pm
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LCYM's picture

dude she is not the only

LCYM
      HF
 
(Monkey, 53
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 1:12pm

Invest first, investigate later.

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UFOinsider's picture

RatinaMaze wrote: UFOinsider

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,349
 
Points)
 on 6/11/11 at 5:35pm

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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maktec5's picture

I got 99 problems but a bitch

maktec5
      CO
 
(Orangutan, 299
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 5:47am

Still I Rise

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mxc's picture

From your post, I gather

mxc
      O
 
(Senior Gorilla, 812
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 6:34am
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Getgo's picture

you are what we call in my

Getgo
     
 
(Orangutan, 290
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 8:44am
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FinancialNoviceII's picture

I still don't get it, what

FinancialNoviceII
      CS
 
(Neanderthal, 2,460
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 9:30am
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fabulouslyfoxxy's picture

RatinaMaze wrote: UFOinsider

fabulouslyfoxxy
     
 
(Senior Chimp, 24
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 2:20pm
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Blue Baller's picture

I feel bad for you son

Blue Baller
      IB
 
(Baboon, 147
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 3:33pm
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guerrillagrrl's picture

She likes you but isn't quite

guerrillagrrl
      O
 
 
(Senior Orangutan, 478
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 4:03pm

WSOCON 2013 - B Scene

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RatinaMaze's picture

I guess what I want is for us

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 7:07pm
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RatinaMaze's picture

I want to be friends because

RatinaMaze
     
 
(Baboon, 121
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 7:08pm
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In The Flesh's picture

"For every asshole on earth,

In The Flesh
      HF
 
 
(Neanderthal, 2,813
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 7:36pm

Head of Metal Website: www.headofmetal.com

https://twitter.com/headofmetal2012

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UFOinsider's picture

In The Flesh wrote: "For

UFOinsider
      O
 
(Human, 10,349
 
Points)
 on 6/14/11 at 11:41pm

YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...

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ST Monkey's picture

life is a bitch, just slap it

ST Monkey
      ST
 
 
(Orangutan, 314
 
Points)
 on 6/15/11 at 1:30am
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t4s's picture

painful to read, memories of

t4s
     
 
(Monkey, 42
 
Points)
 on 6/15/11 at 1:53am
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SuperMoose's picture

RatinaMaze wrote: On

SuperMoose
      O
 
(Monkey, 53
 
Points)
 on 6/15/11 at 1:58am
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SuperMoose's picture

And yet, in something of a

SuperMoose
      O
 
(Monkey, 53
 
Points)
 on 6/15/11 at 2:07am
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maktec5's picture

LMFAO!^^

maktec5
      CO
 
(Orangutan, 299
 
Points)
 on 6/15/11 at 9:04am

Still I Rise

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The Web Site may contain links to third party web sites. These links are provided solely as a convenience to you and not as an endorsement by the Company of the contents on such third-party Web sites. The Company is not responsible for the content of linked third-party sites and does not make any representations regarding the content or accuracy of materials on such third party Web sites. If you decide to access linked third party Web sites, you do so at your own risk.

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The Company reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to pursue all of its legal remedies, including but not limited to immediate termination of your registration with or ability to access the Web Site and/or any other service provided to you by the Company, upon any breach by you of these Terms and Conditions or if the Company is unable to verify or authenticate any information you submit to the Web Site registration with or ability to access the Web Site.

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General.

The Company makes no claims that the Materials may be lawfully viewed or downloaded outside of the United States. Access to the Materials may not be legal by certain persons or in certain countries. If you access the Web Site from outside of the United States, you do so at your own risk and are responsible for compliance with the laws of your jurisdiction. These Terms and conditions are governed by the internal substantive laws of the State of New York, without respect to its conflict of laws principles. Jurisdiction for any claims arising under this agreement shall lie exclusively with the state or federal courts within New York, New York. If any provision of these Terms and Conditions are found to be invalid by any court having competent jurisdiction, the invalidity of such provision shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions of these Terms and Conditions, which shall remain in full force and effect. No waiver of any term of these Terms and Conditions shall be deemed a further or continuing waiver of such term or any other term. Except as expressly provided in additional terms of use for areas of the Web Site a particular "Legal Notice," or Software License or Material on particular Web pages, these Terms and Conditions constitute the entire agreement between you and the Company with respect to the use of Web Site. No changes to these Terms and Conditions shall be made except by a revised posting on this page.

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Use and Disclosure Limitations

The Company only uses personal information about its Web site users for specific purposes. We do not share user information with third parties except when we have told users about the disclosures, when we have prior consent, or when required by law.

Use Policy: When the Company gathers personal information from users, we ask for permission first. We also disclose, at the time of collection, how the information will be used by us. Personal information is used for activities such as auto-completion of commonly-used forms and helping us contact you when you solicit information from us.

Disclosure Policy: We do not normally disclose personal information to anyone outside of the Company unless we have previously informed users about the disclosures. However, some data may be used from time to time by outside contractors, including auditors or consultants, to assist us in carrying out necessary financial or operational activities. These uses will be consistent with this privacy policy and all contractors using this potential personal information must agree to safeguard it, to use it only for the authorized purpose, and to return it or destroy it upon completion of the activity.

The Company might be required to disclose personal information in response to a valid legal process such as a subpoena, search warrant or court order.

Although unlikely, it is possible that we may have to make certain disclosures to ensure the security of our Web site, to protect its integrity, or to take precautions against potential liability. In any of these situations, we will take any reasonable steps to limit the scope of the data disclosed.

Web Logs: The Company maintains standard Web logs that record basic information about visitors to our Web site. These logs contain: * The Internet domain from which you came to our Web site. * Your IP address. An IP address is a series of numbers which uniquely identifies your connection to the Internet. Although it is possible in some instances, certain types of IP addresses may be used by interested persons to identify users but we do not attempt to identify users in this way. * The type of browser (e.g., Internet Explorer or Netscape) and operating system (e.g., Windows 98) you use. * The date and time you visited the site, and the pages you saw.

We use Web log information to design our Web site, identify popular features, and in similar ways. We do not try to identify individuals from Web logs or to link Web logs to other user information. However, if someone tries to damage our Web site or use it in an unauthorized or illegal way, we may share Web log information with law enforcement agencies. The Company may provide aggregate information such as the number of users who visit particular pages of the site, or the number of people who link to certain external sites from our site, to other parties.

Changes to Privacy Policy

The Company's features and services will change over time and our information-gathering practices and policies may also change.

While our philosophy of protecting user information from inappropriate uses and disclosures will not change, this policy will be updated occasionally to include any change that materially affects the collection, maintenance, use, or disclosure of personal information.

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  • Readers of this highly esteemed blog will notice that Mr. Preftige often alludes to sexual intercourse in his posts. Mr. Preftige, it seems, is implying that the end of prestige is not prestige itself, but reproduction. Indeed, Mr. Preftige believes in this. Prestige is but a means to a delightful...
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I was writing an email to a fellow monkey who is about to start as a banking analyst in the summer. It's been a little over 5 yrs now since I was a wee young first-year analyst in restructuring for one of the Moelis/Houlihan/Evercore type firms (I call them the firms where most people will...
15 things I wish I knew as a first year banking analyst
This is the reaction any analyst who has ever worked in banking has when you say you want to leave banking for business school then come back as a post b school associate... <img src="http://epicpinterestfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/how-i-met-your-mother-barney-why.gif"...
Why You DON'T Leave Banking for B School Just to Come Right Back...
I get a ton of emails and answer a ton of posts asking similar questions so I thought I would answer the most common ones I get here and allow others to post their questions so everyone can see them and the subsequent answers. Hope this helps. <strong>Summer Analyst...
MSF Question and Answer
Inspired by comments from this: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/basic-guide-ramping-up-on-a-company-with-public-information-part-1-of-3 Lets just jump in. <strong>Technology:</strong> In this space there are really two metrics that matter the most, sales growth and EPS...
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I'm currently a Private Equity Analyst in Shanghai, China. Academically, I graduated from a target school majoring in Economics and Chinese. I also spent my time at college as the president of an on-campus student organization related to Finance and Economics and a volunteer for a local...
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<em>Mod note: Best of Bankerella - this was originally posted 10/1/12</em> I occasionally get PMed by people at colleges I’ve never heard of before, asking if they have a shot at IBD. Folks, why IBD? The finance world is broad and varied, and there are a million ways to...
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For better or for worse, there’s a very unique feeling when everything goes completely according to plan yet nobody seems to care or notice. Such is the case with our favorite company of the moment, Tesla Motors. For those unaware, TSLA has rocketed upwards since its Q1 earnings release,...
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I work as a long/short equity analyst at a large hedge fund. I've been lucky enough to be more than just a model monkey early on in my career, but have also been exposed to the stress of being measured on returns. I primarily cover consumer and TMT names. I went the typical path (target...
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Fellow Primates, We are looking for 1-2 students on each campus to help WSO in its sales efforts to student clubs/career centers, and overall promotion at your school both online and on the ground. Below is a description of the position and benefits...thanks in advance for your help! <a...
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