Girlfriend question

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

 

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

 
SirTradesaLot:

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

What?

 
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

What?

are you gay? That's the 'in between the lines' question I was asking. I didn't think it was that subtle, but I'll take the feedback that I need to be more direct in future posts. Thanks!
 

Zen, i suggest that you not let it bother you. It also sounds like you are doing "sweet" and "nice" things for her quite frequently. Stop. Get her birthday gifts and gifts for the holidays but drop the "just because" flowers and what not. She will appreciate gifts more if they are less frequent. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3+ years and i dont get her jack shit. Just dont try so hard and dont worry about being "appreciated" by your girl friend. Trying to "win" her over with gifts and compliments is going to make you look like a pussy.

 

I am posting merely in anticipation of datdere coming in with a comment about "beta boys;" this thread better deliver.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 
SirTradesaLot:
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

What?

are you gay? That's the 'in between the lines' question I was asking. I didn't think it was that subtle, but I'll take the feedback that I need to be more direct in future posts. Thanks!

I got your point, I jut thought it was ludicrous. How the hell do you conclude I'm gay? Jesus

 
anacott steal:

Zen, i suggest that you not let it bother you. It also sounds like you are doing "sweet" and "nice" things for her quite frequently. Stop. Get her birthday gifts and gifts for the holidays but drop the "just because" flowers and what not. She will appreciate gifts more if they are less frequent. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3+ years and i dont get her jack shit. Just dont try so hard and dont worry about being "appreciated" by your girl friend. Trying to "win" her over with gifts and compliments is going to make you look like a pussy.

Thanks. I guess the being nice thing was because she was stressed out with the exam and I wanted to be there for her. I didnt expect appreciation until she gushed over her boss's message. Her boss is a mean fuck too so I have no idea why she was so happy to hear from him. And there's absolutely no way, the boss is involved with her.

 
DBCooper:

When you put someone on a pedestal, you force them to look down on you.

Agreed but I don't think I've put her on a pedestal. I like the girl which is a natural reaction, and I wanted to support her through the stressful period of the exam. I don't think that makes me a pushover or anything, just attentive. But I guess why pissed me off was her reaction.

 
ZenMaster:
anacott steal:

Zen, i suggest that you not let it bother you. It also sounds like you are doing "sweet" and "nice" things for her quite frequently. Stop. Get her birthday gifts and gifts for the holidays but drop the "just because" flowers and what not. She will appreciate gifts more if they are less frequent. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3+ years and i dont get her jack shit. Just dont try so hard and dont worry about being "appreciated" by your girl friend. Trying to "win" her over with gifts and compliments is going to make you look like a pussy.

Thanks. I guess the being nice thing was because she was stressed out with the exam and I wanted to be there for her. I didnt expect appreciation until she gushed over her boss's message. Her boss is a mean fuck too so I have no idea why she was so happy to hear from him. And there's absolutely no way, the boss is involved with her.

Yeah, exactly--her boss is a mean fuck, did something nice for her and she loved it. That proves my point right there... if it is less frequent it will be appreciated more. This can basically be analogized to supply/demand and also with the law of diminishing returns, it's Econ 101 man.

 
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

What?

are you gay? That's the 'in between the lines' question I was asking. I didn't think it was that subtle, but I'll take the feedback that I need to be more direct in future posts. Thanks!

I got your point, I jut thought it was ludicrous. How the hell do you conclude I'm gay? Jesus

I don't think he's gay, SirTradesAlot, just soft.

 

Go and fly to DC, sit her down and talk to her. Tell her what you feel, if she dosent give you satisfactory response or can't recipricate your feelings. Im sorry bro, you gotta dump her and move on.

 

I love these threads. I think SirTradesaLot is onto something here, we need a dating advice sub section. It can be called "Am I gay" the area where beta males can post their dating and relationship woes for everyone else to make fun of them. And I guess offer questionable advice.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
DBCooper:

Take her out...bang her out really good and then go on the DL for a day or two (say you've been really busy, be vague as possible) then re-evaluate.

I think the DL idea sounds good...not sure I want to waste anymore time and money on this.

 
anacott steal:
ZenMaster:
anacott steal:

Zen, i suggest that you not let it bother you. It also sounds like you are doing "sweet" and "nice" things for her quite frequently. Stop. Get her birthday gifts and gifts for the holidays but drop the "just because" flowers and what not. She will appreciate gifts more if they are less frequent. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3+ years and i dont get her jack shit. Just dont try so hard and dont worry about being "appreciated" by your girl friend. Trying to "win" her over with gifts and compliments is going to make you look like a pussy.

Thanks. I guess the being nice thing was because she was stressed out with the exam and I wanted to be there for her. I didnt expect appreciation until she gushed over her boss's message. Her boss is a mean fuck too so I have no idea why she was so happy to hear from him. And there's absolutely no way, the boss is involved with her.

Yeah, exactly--her boss is a mean fuck, did something nice for her and she loved it. That proves my point right there... if it is less frequent it will be appreciated more. This can basically be analogized to supply/demand and also with the law of diminishing returns, it's Econ 101 man.

I guess you're right but I was simply thinking with our relationship, you know, I may get some fucking affection or recognition especially if some asshole at her work does. Just not sure its worth my time. I've discussed it with her in the past and her answer always is that some things dont need to be spelt out. WTF? I mean, if I didnt spell shit out for a woman, she'd think I wouldnt be interested. Fucking crazy.

 
trailmix8:
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:
ZenMaster:
SirTradesaLot:

Have you ever considered the possibility that you aren't physically attracted to women? Nothing wrong with that in my book, but you need to be honest with yourself if you want to be happy. This is anonymous, so there's nothing to hide.

What?

are you gay? That's the 'in between the lines' question I was asking. I didn't think it was that subtle, but I'll take the feedback that I need to be more direct in future posts. Thanks!

I got your point, I jut thought it was ludicrous. How the hell do you conclude I'm gay? Jesus

I don't think he's gay, SirTradesAlot, just soft.

I wouldnt say I'm soft but just a little pissed off. As anyone would be..

 
nuttyprofessor:

Go and fly to DC, sit her down and talk to her. Tell her what you feel, if she dosent give you satisfactory response or can't recipricate your feelings. Im sorry bro, you gotta dump her and move on.

I'm not flying anywhere to be honest. I would if it was my fault somehow but it isnt so I dont see why I should fly out. I really like her but I dont need any drama or to interpret things. I'm a little old for these games. I think its probably a good idea to move on but just harder to do so then I thought.

 
heister:

I love these threads. I think SirTradesaLot is onto something here, we need a dating advice sub section. It can be called "Am I gay" the area where beta males can post their dating and relationship woes for everyone else to make fun of them. And I guess offer questionable advice.

Thank you. I second this, because this guy's posts are getting pretty ridiculous/sad.

 
Aimez:

Have you considered communicating with her? You invested 5 mths in a relationship with her, she's a bit enthusiastic about something someone did, and you want to break up with her over it? Honestly, the one who cares less in a relationship holds the power. Maybe she doesn't want to be so nice with you because you might take it as her being "clingy."

I dont think so. I have invested a lot of my time, which is precisely at this point, I'd expect a little more of an effort. I dont understand really what the problem is. Its not a case she's enthusiastic about something someone did, its that I've been doing that something for weeks and all I get is a simple "thanks".

I think 5/6 months down the line, its a bit silly to think I'll believe her to be clingy so she doesnt want to be nice or affectionate. I need to move on.

 
DaisukiDaYo:
heister:

I love these threads. I think SirTradesaLot is onto something here, we need a dating advice sub section. It can be called "Am I gay" the area where beta males can post their dating and relationship woes for everyone else to make fun of them. And I guess offer questionable advice.

Thank you. I second this, because this guy's posts are getting pretty ridiculous/sad.

What? I've made one fucking post.

 
anacott steal:

There's a pretty bright-line that determines whether you are in the friend zone or not (i.e. banging).

Yeah aware of that thanks. As i mentioned its happened before and without getting into much detail, its definitely not the case here. Which basically makes this all the more confusing.

 
ZenMaster:
DaisukiDaYo:
heister:

I love these threads. I think SirTradesaLot is onto something here, we need a dating advice sub section. It can be called "Am I gay" the area where beta males can post their dating and relationship woes for everyone else to make fun of them. And I guess offer questionable advice.

Thank you. I second this, because this guy's posts are getting pretty ridiculous/sad.

What? I've made one fucking post.

This is really something you should talk with your friends about instead of waiting for responses from internet badasses.

But I'll bite - is she actually your gf or are you just "dating"?

 
DaisukiDaYo:
ZenMaster:


DaisukiDaYo:

heister:

I love these threads. I think SirTradesaLot is onto something here, we need a dating advice sub section. It can be called "Am I gay" the area where beta males can post their dating and relationship woes for everyone else to make fun of them. And I guess offer questionable advice.

Thank you. I second this, because this guy's posts are getting pretty ridiculous/sad.

What? I've made one fucking post.

This is really something you should talk with your friends about instead of waiting for responses from internet badasses.

But I'll bite - is she actually your gf or are you just "dating"?

GF

 

ZenMaster, are you banging this girl? That is a very important question that you are yet to answer. If after 5 months you are not, then she is not your girlfriend. To her you are a nice guy she wishes she was attracted to but cant fully get herself to like romantically.

 
danjohn4real:

ZenMaster, are you banging this girl? That is a very important question that you are yet to answer. If after 5 months you are not, then she is not your girlfriend. To her you are a nice guy she wishes she was attracted to but cant fully get herself to like romantically.

Yeah we have.

 
ZenMaster:

I guess I was vague before. Sorry. And the reason I posted here was because Ive gotten some reat insight into other stuff so I felt it would be worth a shot.

Have you read any of the relationship help threads before? Most of them turn into a the OP is a pussy thread.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
ZenMaster:
danjohn4real:

ZenMaster, are you banging this girl? That is a very important question that you are yet to answer. If after 5 months you are not, then she is not your girlfriend. To her you are a nice guy she wishes she was attracted to but cant fully get herself to like romantically.

Yeah we have.

There is a chance that she is just not that into you. I advice that you threaten to break up with her and see if she fights for you. If she doesn't, then move on. You would be glad that you wasted only 5 months instead of 3 years. You don't want to be somebody's contingency plan. You want to be the man of her dreams and you deserve to feel appreciated.

 

LMFAO

Hilarious comments. Although the only legit response is danjohn's before - thanks for sharing.

Are you a pussy? Do you dress sloppy? You are your own and only enemy when it comes to failing relationships. I think you should consider that most of the things you are doing are wrong, then rethink it all.

Also can we cool it with the 'fucking' comments? It's funny, and I laugh, but it's not reality nor good considering these girls are someone's daughter and wife. Just saying.

 
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

Yes, you are being "too nice" and she realizes that she doesn't have to reciprocate. Nothing is worse than coming off as needy to a woman.

My finance blog: AdviceAboutFinance.com Twitter @samleefinance
 
epoch707:
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

Yes, you are being "too nice" and she realizes that she doesn't have to reciprocate. Nothing is worse than coming off as needy to a woman.

I once told a girl I made her a mix tape and posted it on youtube. I sent her the link, man I rickrolled her good. She actually thought it was sweet. Double win.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
danjohn4real:
ZenMaster:
danjohn4real:

ZenMaster, are you banging this girl? That is a very important question that you are yet to answer. If after 5 months you are not, then she is not your girlfriend. To her you are a nice guy she wishes she was attracted to but cant fully get herself to like romantically.

Yeah we have.

There is a chance that she is just not that into you. I advice that you threaten to break up with her and see if she fights for you. If she doesn't, then move on. You would be glad that you wasted only 5 months instead of 3 years. You don't want to be somebody's contingency plan. You want to be the man of her dreams and you deserve to feel appreciated.

Thanks. Thats all I was really saying. I dont understand, its just confusing. But I guess thats that then. Just finding it hard to end it with her. She's called and texted me about 5 times today. I didnt bother responding.

 
DaisukiDaYo:
ZenMaster:

GF

Sounds like LD is taking its toll. LD doesn't work most of the time just because there's no facetime.

Yeah perhaps. I mean I get out to DC once every two weeks but we skype/call every day. I guess I should have seen this coming. Perhaps I was into her more than she was into me. It didnt seem that way but it appears to have panned out that way.

 
epoch707:
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

Yes, you are being "too nice" and she realizes that she doesn't have to reciprocate. Nothing is worse than coming off as needy to a woman.

I guess I was thinking new relationship, I should be a gentleman. Blew up in my face huh

 

I wouldn't say just dump her, but actually talk to her about it. Odds are its nothing major. He giddyness over what her boss did is more than likely due to the fact that she wants some kind of approval from him/her. She was excited she got it. However if she feels like you are both taking different paths then there is no real reason to keep it up.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
heister:
Have you read any of the relationship help threads before? Most of them turn into a the OP is a pussy thread.
This is true. It is also true that in every single relationship thread I have read on WSO, the OP actually is a pussy.
 
heister:

I wouldn't say just dump her, but actually talk to her about it. Odds are its nothing major. He giddyness over what her boss did is more than likely due to the fact that she wants some kind of approval from him/her. She was excited she got it. However if she feels like you are both taking different paths then there is no real reason to keep it up.

I've brought this up before and she simply said that some things dont need to be spelt out, i.e. I should know how she feels about me. So thats why I'm confused. I know she's into me but I dont want to be taken for granted is the point.

 
SirTradesaLot:
heister:

Have you read any of the relationship help threads before? Most of them turn into a the OP is a pussy thread.

This is true. It is also true that in every single relationship thread I have read on WSO, the OP actually is a pussy.

Sorry dude, I didnt realise you're the paragon of manliness. Perhaps some of those guys were pussies, I just wanted an opinion as to whether I'm being a douche about this.

 
ZenMaster:
heister:

I wouldn't say just dump her, but actually talk to her about it. Odds are its nothing major. He giddyness over what her boss did is more than likely due to the fact that she wants some kind of approval from him/her. She was excited she got it. However if she feels like you are both taking different paths then there is no real reason to keep it up.

I've brought this up before and she simply said that some things dont need to be spelt out, i.e. I should know how she feels about me. So thats why I'm confused. I know she's into me but I dont want to be taken for granted is the point.

Sounds like you want a girl that she isn't.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
heister:
ZenMaster:
heister:

I wouldn't say just dump her, but actually talk to her about it. Odds are its nothing major. He giddyness over what her boss did is more than likely due to the fact that she wants some kind of approval from him/her. She was excited she got it. However if she feels like you are both taking different paths then there is no real reason to keep it up.

I've brought this up before and she simply said that some things dont need to be spelt out, i.e. I should know how she feels about me. So thats why I'm confused. I know she's into me but I dont want to be taken for granted is the point.

Sounds like you want a girl that she isn't.

Perhaps. I dont want to lose her but I dont want to feel like I'm making all the effort here. She carried on texting me today and then apologised if she did something. Now I feel bad about that. Fuck. Now I really feel like a fucking pussy.

 
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

What's in it for you, with the relationship that is? If you're getting jealous, that's a good sign and your girlfriend is probably flattered. Be a grown-up and tell her why your messages are much better than motivational notes from her 'friendly' bsoss. After 5 months, at very least you can show her you're serious in being with her!

 
ZenMaster:
heister:
ZenMaster:
heister:

I wouldn't say just dump her, but actually talk to her about it. Odds are its nothing major. He giddyness over what her boss did is more than likely due to the fact that she wants some kind of approval from him/her. She was excited she got it. However if she feels like you are both taking different paths then there is no real reason to keep it up.

I've brought this up before and she simply said that some things dont need to be spelt out, i.e. I should know how she feels about me. So thats why I'm confused. I know she's into me but I dont want to be taken for granted is the point.

Sounds like you want a girl that she isn't.

Perhaps. I dont want to lose her but I dont want to feel like I'm making all the effort here. She carried on texting me today and then apologised if she did something. Now I feel bad about that. Fuck. Now I really feel like a fucking pussy.

Now that you realized that means that you can understand everybody was just trying to help you. Tough love bro.
 
heister:
epoch707:
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

Yes, you are being "too nice" and she realizes that she doesn't have to reciprocate. Nothing is worse than coming off as needy to a woman.

I once told a girl I made her a mix tape and posted it on youtube. I sent her the link, man I rickrolled her good. She actually thought it was sweet. Double win.

I banana'd this, shit is gold.
I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 
ZenMaster:
danjohn4real:
ZenMaster:
danjohn4real:

ZenMaster, are you banging this girl? That is a very important question that you are yet to answer. If after 5 months you are not, then she is not your girlfriend. To her you are a nice guy she wishes she was attracted to but cant fully get herself to like romantically.

Yeah we have.

There is a chance that she is just not that into you. I advice that you threaten to break up with her and see if she fights for you. If she doesn't, then move on. You would be glad that you wasted only 5 months instead of 3 years. You don't want to be somebody's contingency plan. You want to be the man of her dreams and you deserve to feel appreciated.

Thanks. Thats all I was really saying. I dont understand, its just confusing. But I guess thats that then. Just finding it hard to end it with her. She's called and texted me about 5 times today. I didnt bother responding.

Side note, how did you like your first taste of life with a backbone?
I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

 
ZenMaster:

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

In all seriousness, the best relationships are about giving, not receiving. But there's definitely a breaking point where if you're giving too much and she's not reciprocating at all (which is what it seems like), you should move on with your life and cut your losses while it's early. Speaking from similar experience a while ago.

 
NuyWS:
ZenMaster:

So I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I met her while she was in New York, but she works in DC. Anyway, I really like her and things have been going well. I'm a little concerned that she doesnt really respond or offer any compliments. Hear me out guys, I think it's weird. So an example, she's working hard to study for her FSO exam (she works for the govt) and I've been really supportive, leaving her nice voicemails, messages and even had flowers delivered to her work place. All she said in return was thanks. That's fine but then she texts me saying how her boss is so nice and left her a "super cute/adorable" message saying good luck on the day of her exam. Are you kidding me? So she was completely oblivious to what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks but adored her boss's message. Maybe I'm being strange here but somethings off right? Am I overthinking this or is she not really into me as much? This isn't an isolated incident. There's been other similar things, as well as her even questioning me to my friends. When we first started dating, e asked my friend whether the stuff I told he about myself was a lie or not. I let it go at the time because I really like her but it's becoming a bit much now.

Basically Am I being a bitch for thinking my girlfriend doesn't appreciate me or should I just end it now?

What's in it for you, with the relationship that is? If you're getting jealous, that's a good sign and your girlfriend is probably flattered. Be a grown-up and tell her why your messages are much better than motivational notes from her 'friendly' bsoss. After 5 months, at very least you can show her you're serious in being with her!

I think she knows how serious I am and honestly I shouldnt even have to tell her that my messages are better. It sounds petty but it pissed me off.

 
ZenMaster:

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

Want an answer? Ok, you guys are not compatible. Yes I know you are a nice guy and you too shared great moments before. But you are not loving her in the way she wants. Cut the lose and move on. Treat her like a stranger. True love should make you feel better about yourself, not the opposite.

The Auto Show
 
huanleshalemei:
ZenMaster:

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

Want an answer? Ok, you guys are not compatible. Yes I know you are a nice guy and you too shared great moments before. But you are not loving her in the way she wants. Cut the lose and move on. Treat her like a stranger. True love should make you feel better about yourself, not the opposite.

Actually we're incredibly compatible, we share a lot of the same interests, likes/dislikes, etc. Thats not the problem. Perhaps I give it a chance to see what happens.

 
ZenMaster:
huanleshalemei:
ZenMaster:

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

Want an answer? Ok, you guys are not compatible. Yes I know you are a nice guy and you too shared great moments before. But you are not loving her in the way she wants. Cut the lose and move on. Treat her like a stranger. True love should make you feel better about yourself, not the opposite.

Actually we're incredibly compatible, we share a lot of the same interests, likes/dislikes, etc. Thats not the problem. Perhaps I give it a chance to see what happens.

wow, way to not take a single piece of advice anyone here gave you. Why did you even bother posting if you knew that you were just going to try to keep chasing some chick who is indifferent no matter what advice you got?

 
trailmix8:
ZenMaster:
huanleshalemei:
ZenMaster:

Thanks guys. I guess I was feeling underappreciated and obviously this long distance thing isn't a great idea.

Although, having broached the topic, she didnt really offer any answers. I guess I'm not sure what to do.

Want an answer? Ok, you guys are not compatible. Yes I know you are a nice guy and you too shared great moments before. But you are not loving her in the way she wants. Cut the lose and move on. Treat her like a stranger. True love should make you feel better about yourself, not the opposite.

Actually we're incredibly compatible, we share a lot of the same interests, likes/dislikes, etc. Thats not the problem. Perhaps I give it a chance to see what happens.

wow, way to not take a single piece of advice anyone here gave you. Why did you even bother posting if you knew that you were just going to try to keep chasing some chick who is indifferent no matter what advice you got?

I posted to get some advice. I got some advice and talked to her about it. She gave me a non-answer. I feel I should move on but I also built up feelings for her over these several months that its not easy to simply give up on her. Hence the reason I used the word 'perhaps'. I'm still thinking this over.

 

I know a someone's contingency plan when i see one.

I say its time for some serious makeover. Do something different and start to sound vague and tone down the nice gestures a little (extremely rare nice msgs, more of one-word answers, delayed callbacks, no more sharing the details of your life with her,...etc). She will notice something is changing. If she cares about the ground shifting beneath her, she will definitely try to catch up with you and be a part of that change. If she doesnt, you'll be off to a fresh start with someone who deserves your attention, affection, time, care, love and everything you have to offer.

Are you a pussy? Nope, and your instinct is probably right that something is a little weird. I say dont discuss it openly with her as this may just cause more confusion and dilute whatever influence you have on this relationship and what you can do next. Just shake things up a little to see if there's really anything in this relationship for you. Been there, done that.

Whatever you do, avoid the cheap shots (trying to make her feel jealous by trying to hook up with her friends/relatives, bragging about other relationships,...etc). Be constructive for your own good.

 

Seriously, are you getting anything out of this relationship? When a girl really cares about a guy, and he does something thoughtful for her, she can't help but effusively praise him. I can keep a poker face negotiating deals with men more than 2x my age, but the second a guy I'm dating does something thoughtful for me, I lose my shit. Flowers sent to the office?! (Requires way more foresight than just picking up a bouquet at a bodega on your way over) He's coming home to steak and a beej for sure.

If she gave you a non-answer when you broached the subject, she just doesn't have the heart to tell you she's not that into you, or she wants to keep you around until finds an alternative plan. Do yourself a favor and a relationship in NY that gives you a better ROI.

 
marketmistress:
Flowers sent to the office?! (Requires way more foresight than just picking up a bouquet at a bodega on your way over) He's coming home to steak and a beej for sure.
I'm guessing you get an insane amount of flowers at the office, amirite? If I can get both a steak and a beej just for sending flowers, then can you please tell me your office address?
 
SirTradesaLot:
marketmistress:

Flowers sent to the office?! (Requires way more foresight than just picking up a bouquet at a bodega on your way over) He's coming home to steak and a beej for sure.

I'm guessing you get an insane amount of flowers at the office, amirite? If I can get both a steak and a beej just for sending flowers, then can you please tell me your office address?

Ha I knew I was going to get shit for that! I failed to mention the prerequisite of being in a relationship with me.

 

I should seriously start a PUA program or something seeing how many guys are asking these questions.

OP you are on your way for developing a serious ONEitis

OP she is "shit testing: you aka "fitness test" to see how you respond. If you act clingy, supportive, validating she will dump you or use you as an emotional tampon while she fucks other guys.

Anyways for short term follow this:

  • If she send you a text , reply by dividing the original text by 3. So 1/3 of original reply.
  • If shes on your FB or twitter start positing pics of yourself with other girls.
  • If you see her again fuck her good

You have to work on your inner game son

 
go.with.the.flow:

I should seriously start a PUA program or something seeing how many guys are asking these questions.

OP you are on your way for developing a serious ONEitis

OP she is "shit testing: you aka "fitness test" to see how you respond. If you act clingy, supportive, validating she will dump you or use you as an emotional tampon while she fucks other guys.

Anyways for short term follow this:

- If she send you a text , reply by dividing the original text by 3. So 1/3 of original reply.
- If shes on your FB or twitter start positing pics of yourself with other girls.
- If you see her again fuck her good

You have to work on your inner game son

Do not to any of these things. Be a man and just tell her it's over. Then I guess you can do #3.

 
marketmistress:
go.with.the.flow:

I should seriously start a PUA program or something seeing how many guys are asking these questions.

OP you are on your way for developing a serious ONEitis

OP she is "shit testing: you aka "fitness test" to see how you respond. If you act clingy, supportive, validating she will dump you or use you as an emotional tampon while she fucks other guys.

Anyways for short term follow this:

- If she send you a text , reply by dividing the original text by 3. So 1/3 of original reply.
- If shes on your FB or twitter start positing pics of yourself with other girls.
- If you see her again fuck her good

You have to work on your inner game son

Do not to any of these things. Be a man and just tell her it's over. Then I guess you can do #3.

Ignore anything Marketmistress has said OP. she doesn't know what she's talking about

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 
TonyPerkis:
marketmistress:
go.with.the.flow:

I should seriously start a PUA program or something seeing how many guys are asking these questions.

OP you are on your way for developing a serious ONEitis

OP she is "shit testing: you aka "fitness test" to see how you respond. If you act clingy, supportive, validating she will dump you or use you as an emotional tampon while she fucks other guys.

Anyways for short term follow this:

- If she send you a text , reply by dividing the original text by 3. So 1/3 of original reply.
- If shes on your FB or twitter start positing pics of yourself with other girls.
- If you see her again fuck her good

You have to work on your inner game son

Do not to any of these things. Be a man and just tell her it's over. Then I guess you can do #3.

Ignore anything Marketmistress has said OP. she doesn't know what she's talking about

I was operating under the assumption that OP wants to be a decent guy. If he'd rather be a dick, by all means, be a dick. But go.with.the.flow's advice isn't even being a dick, it's being a passive-aggressive little girl. "Waaahh you're not paying enough attention to me, I'm going to cut my text responses down by 33%! Look!! Pictures of me with other girls! Aren't you jealous?!" Seriously, you sound like a high school girl. Just end it with that girl- she sounds like a dumb bitch anyway- and begin the shooting fish in a barrel known as dating in NYC.

 

Advice from a non-player, non "pua" and a regular guy. I dated this chick a few years back who always said she loved me, bought me stuff and was very sweet overall. I became attached to her and found out she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend and maybe another guy. Instead of being a man and dealing with it, i started acting out and drove her away. Lesson Learned, if you are going to act like a wimp and not be upfront with your girl she will move on.

You responded with "we have" when some1 asked you if you have banged. That's your answer? We have.... in 5 months you have? You should've tried every position in 5 months.

Anyways sorry to say you are in for a heartbreak, mark my words. Its coming, just wait for it. If you don't want that to happen, move on from being the guy you are and get your shit together.

 

How old are you? So you are dumping your gf because some strangers on WSO who read 1 paragraph of your interaction with her are telling you to do so? This is your relationship and you have to man up when there's a problem. Dump her= avoid the problem, not solving it. Granted, she might not be really into you, but at least make your own opinion instead of getting all work up because some guy is calling you a pussy on the internet?

 
ZenMaster:

Anyone ridiculing these posts, I'm sure you're crushing women all the time. You're probably still in high school so lets not pass judgement OK?

Dude, everybody at some point or another has had girlfriend/boyfriend issues. But frankly, I can't help but pass judgement on people that come onto a finance forum to post personal relationship questions to a bunch of internet strangers. It's just weird. Input from friends and family should be enough.

 
Ipso facto:
ZenMaster:

Anyone ridiculing these posts, I'm sure you're crushing women all the time. You're probably still in high school so lets not pass judgement OK?

Dude, everybody at some point or another has had girlfriend/boyfriend issues. But frankly, I can't help but pass judgement on people that come onto a finance forum to post personal relationship questions to a bunch of internet strangers. It's just weird. Input from friends and family should be enough.

Sure agreed. But sometimes, an anonymous forum offers the best option when they have no stake in the actual outcome.

 

dude whats up with all these autistic Asian kids asking for dating advice on this forum it's entertaining but a bit annoying

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 
marketmistress:
TonyPerkis:
marketmistress:
go.with.the.flow:

I should seriously start a PUA program or something seeing how many guys are asking these questions.

OP you are on your way for developing a serious ONEitis

OP she is "shit testing: you aka "fitness test" to see how you respond. If you act clingy, supportive, validating she will dump you or use you as an emotional tampon while she fucks other guys.

Anyways for short term follow this:

- If she send you a text , reply by dividing the original text by 3. So 1/3 of original reply.
- If shes on your FB or twitter start positing pics of yourself with other girls.
- If you see her again fuck her good

You have to work on your inner game son

Do not to any of these things. Be a man and just tell her it's over. Then I guess you can do #3.

Ignore anything Marketmistress has said OP. she doesn't know what she's talking about

I was operating under the assumption that OP wants to be a decent guy. If he'd rather be a dick, by all means, be a dick. But go.with.the.flow's advice isn't even being a dick, it's being a passive-aggressive little girl. "Waaahh you're not paying enough attention to me, I'm going to cut my text responses down by 33%! Look!! Pictures of me with other girls! Aren't you jealous?!" Seriously, you sound like a high school girl. Just end it with that girl- she sounds like a dumb bitch anyway- and begin the shooting fish in a barrel known as dating in NYC.

Mating is nothing but a "game". Nothing amoral or moral about it. So by not playing you have already lost.

//www.youtube.com/embed/CemLiSI5ox8

 
ZenMaster:
Kenny Powers:

dude whats up with all these autistic Asian kids asking for dating advice on this forum it's entertaining but a bit annoying

Dude, shut up. Thats offensive.

Which part, the Asian part or the autistic part?

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 
Kenny Powers:
ZenMaster:
Kenny Powers:

dude whats up with all these autistic Asian kids asking for dating advice on this forum it's entertaining but a bit annoying

Dude, shut up. Thats offensive.

Which part, the Asian part or the autistic part?

The autistic.

 
ZenMaster:
Kenny Powers:
ZenMaster:
Kenny Powers:

dude whats up with all these autistic Asian kids asking for dating advice on this forum it's entertaining but a bit annoying

Dude, shut up. Thats offensive.

Which part, the Asian part or the autistic part?

The autistic.

Oh ok, in that case: take your meds.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 
peyo212:

In all seriousness, the best relationships are about giving, not receiving. But there's definitely a breaking point where if you're giving too much and she's not reciprocating at all (which is what it seems like), you should move on with your life and cut your losses while it's early. Speaking from similar experience a while ago.

"giving" or giving? pls clrly define ur terminology

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 

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