Going to work High

So the other day, I had the bright idea of listening to my friend and joining him for a wake & bake session before leaving for work.

After inhaling a dozen bong rips and smoking a blunt, I finally headed out for work after taking a shower and eating.

Approaching the building, my feet felt very weird, I looked down and noticed I forgot to wear socks (through no fault of the weed but rather my own stupidity). Luckily I had a pair of dress socks in the car and threw them on real quick.

Walking inside, I started to feel my heart pounding and whispers in my ear, "Mannnn! you fucked up, what the fuck were you thinking, its you're 2nd week on the job and you're in here high as a kite". I stopped by the bathroom and washed up before getting to my desk.Threw in some listerine for extra measure and checked to see if my eyes were red. I quickly put in some eye drops and walked over to my desk.

By this point, I was feeling pretty good, walking like a normal lad would with my head held "high" (get it?). As I sat down, I situated myself and prepared for the day.

I popped open my outlook and found I was scheduled for a meeting in 10 minutes with my boss and another supervious to discuss some details about some research I was doing.

Now came the jitters, as I walked over to the meeting room, I felt higher and higher with each step. As I walked in the others were already sitting down. I was asked to sit down and the journey began. After an hour of questioning I was able to leave and get back to my desk.

Feeling more confidident, I sat down and got to work on some other stuff. Being an intern, I dont have a huge work load and usually just kick it.

I found my day to be really productive, I was so scared of someone seeing me messin' around which would have caused me to deal with more questioning or akwardness that I just went super hard and finished a weeks worth of work in a day.

As the end of the day came, I was pretty super but groggy. Luckily, getting high doesnt have a hangover similar to alcohol. As Katt Willaims once perfectly put it, the come down is getting sleepy and hungry (and thats the truth for anyone who knows).

As I walked out, feeling like a complete pimp for my hard days of work, I knocked on my bosses office and said my good byes. As I was just about he leave me called me back,

"Was everything ok today?"

"Ofcourse, sir" I replied.

"If I didn't know better, I would of thought you were high at our meeting".

"Huh? What makes you say that", I said this and for the first time felt my balls dropped to the floor.

"I dont know, were you?" my boss said.

"High? Nope, Life keeps me at a decent height".

He nodded his head, smiled and I walked out like a PIMP.

Got to my car, hit up my home boy and rolled up all over again.

You guys got any similar stories?

 

You're an intern and you went to work high? Not bad, I thought that level of retardness is only displayed in bad comedies.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

@Matrick, haha you gotta do it like Mike and Harvey in that one episode man.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

..as I said, bad comedies...just kidding. Chapeau my friend for pulling that one off. I'd still advise you to not do it again.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

agreed.... way to trippy... especially if you have to deal with people early in the morning.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

@Corpfinanceguy, LMAO! that would suck ass... I doubt it tho.

@Matrick, working as a financial analyst intern at a F200 comp atm

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

I can't believe some people are retarded enough to do shit like this. I hope you get caught next time, faggot.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
 

You must smoke a shit load if you can handle a dozen bong rips and a blunt... that is ridiculous. You probably smoked almost at least a gram to yourself before work.

This to all my hatin' folks seeing me getting guac right now..
 

@Matrick, umm... I'd like it, Don't know if I want to stay at the company for my FT role tho. I wana dip out of Michigan and try to get to a bigger market (maybe chi town). If they can help me get a gig in chicago w/ the same company, that'd be ideal. Dunno yet tho, still have a year to graduate.

@Cruncharoo... man, it was crazy. Recently, I've only been smoking 1ce or 2ce a month, so the fact that I did so much at once was killer. It was deff. 1 gram +. Even worse tho, wake and bakes always get me the highest lol.

Deadly Combo.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 
GimeThatBanana:

@Cruncharoo... man, it was crazy. Recently, I've only been smoking 1ce or 2ce a month, so the fact that I did so much at once was killer. It was deff. 1 gram +. Even worse tho, wake and bakes always get me the highest lol.

Deadly Combo.

You're crazy... I like you, but you're crazy.

This to all my hatin' folks seeing me getting guac right now..
 

You probably got caught. Don't count on a return offer.

Not sure why I'm answering, this has to be a troll. Nobody who smokes once or twice a month takes a dozen bong rips and smokes a blunt during their lunch break and goes back to work. If your story's legit, you're seriously one of the dumbest people on this board.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Sorry guys, believe it or not... get high, get high grades.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

Lame.

Internet montra 12 inch penis = 1 inch penis

12 bong rips = 0 bong rips

Boss says you looked high = boss says your a fucking idiot

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

I heard it in a Lupe fiasco song, few years back. Been saying it since.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

Getting called out isn't handling it like a pimp.

Take a fucking Xanax to calm your nerves. Or just don't get high if you can't handle yourself.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

Dunno why everyones freaking out about a dozen bong rips, that's really only like 3 bowls. He probably had mids anyway.

OP you're a retard though. I went in to work stoned 3-4 days out of the week over the summer and nobody ever had a clue. Excel is so much better when your stoned where you can just zone out to your music while modeling or w/e.

 
StryfeDSP:

Dunno why everyones freaking out about a dozen bong rips, that's really only like 3 bowls. He probably had mids anyway.

OP you're a retard though. I went in to work stoned 3-4 days out of the week over the summer and nobody ever had a clue. Excel is so much better when your stoned where you can just zone out to your music while modeling or w/e.

What do the flashing cells make you think?

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 

Let me reiterate what everyone else has said; you got caught.

If you got a little high then you probably could have gotten away with it but to assume that your boss and everyone else wouldn't have figured out your stoned is a dumb move. If you really think your boss or no one else in your office has smoked before and doesn't know how stoned person looks then you have no hope.

 

I've known very high functioning stoners who are high all day and you'd never know. But yeah, OP clearly isn't one of them.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

I'd recommend dextroamphetamine at work. Its like amp but they removed the part that makes the body speedy, instead you are just clean fucking focusing in your head. Control my friend.

DL-amphetamine, cocaine, cannabis, heroin (and ofcourse LSD&Ecstasy) are all fucking stupid things to do at work. Although I did do heroin every day a summer as a cashier at a grocery store. My pupils were fucking dots.

 
Diacetyl:

I'd recommend dextroamphetamine at work. Its like amp but they removed the part that makes the body speedy, instead you are just clean fucking focusing in your head. Control my friend.

DL-amphetamine, cocaine, cannabis, heroin (and ofcourse LSD&Ecstasy) are all fucking stupid things to do at work. Although I did do heroin every day a summer as a cashier at a grocery store. My pupils were fucking dots.

What dose would you dex a work? I've never taken dex directly before work, but I've gone to work coming down from 900+mg before. They were never jobs I gave a shit about though. Don't know why I've never been fired. I've looked like a zombie on that shit before.

And when I was 18, I worked in a lab and one of the guys there got me into dope. He's always rail it in the back. So I was doped out at work too after then. My time would be split between retail and the lab. We'd put on death metal and work the lab; it was awesome.

Dealing with people on dope, did you ever get super irritable? Like, I'd feel like they were a nuisance just for being in my presence because I'd feel so fucking good.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 
RustyFork:
Diacetyl:

I'd recommend dextroamphetamine at work. Its like amp but they removed the part that makes the body speedy, instead you are just clean fucking focusing in your head. Control my friend.

DL-amphetamine, cocaine, cannabis, heroin (and ofcourse LSD&Ecstasy) are all fucking stupid things to do at work. Although I did do heroin every day a summer as a cashier at a grocery store. My pupils were fucking dots.

What dose would you dex a work? I've never taken dex directly before work, but I've gone to work coming down from 900+mg before. They were never jobs I gave a shit about though. Don't know why I've never been fired. I've looked like a zombie on that shit before.

And when I was 18, I worked in a lab and one of the guys there got me into dope. He's always rail it in the back. So I was doped out at work too after then. My time would be split between retail and the lab. We'd put on death metal and work the lab; it was awesome.

Dealing with people on dope, did you ever get super irritable? Like, I'd feel like they were a nuisance just for being in my presence because I'd feel so fucking good.

I do 50mg or so. I'm not in any serious jobs so it wouldn't matter if I were high as fuk. But I get so service oriented on them, just a hard working honest fellow ^_^ They have made dex stick to an enzym thats called lisdexamfetamin, its a prodrug of dex and metabolises in the liver and gives a very accurate and steady effect for about 14 hours. That pure magic for you career/studying guys!

Goes under the name Vyvanse/Elvanse. Like I said its a (way) longer version of Dex and as some of you know it only affects focus and motivation, it doesnt make your body hyper or make your mouth talk non-stop.

 
Diacetyl:
Although I did do heroin every day a summer as a cashier at a grocery store. My pupils were fucking dots.

Serioulsy? I thought once you took it you're addicted for life?

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 
Best Response
RustyFork:
What dose would you dex a work? I've never taken dex directly before work, but I've gone to work coming down from 900+mg before. They were never jobs I gave a shit about though. Don't know why I've never been fired. I've looked like a zombie on that shit before.

Are you shitting me? I'm not a doctor, but 900 mg would probably kill you... normal scrip is like 20-80 mg.

RustyFork:
50mg is less than the recommended medical dose

Recommended dose is just a guideline. People's bodies are very different and the dose needs to be determined on an individual basis.

Diacetyl:
Goes under the name Vyvanse/Elvanse. Like I said its a (way) longer version of Dex and as some of you know it only affects focus and motivation, it doesnt make your body hyper or make your mouth talk non-stop.

Vyvanse is the shit, far superior to Adderall imo. Less of that cracked out feeling as you mentioned, so much smoother. I've got a couple of friends who've been on Ad forever and they hate it so I never tried it. When I finally did I was like, wtf? Then I realized they're addicted to the body high, even if they do use it to focus.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D M:
RustyFork:

What dose would you dex a work? I've never taken dex directly before work, but I've gone to work coming down from 900+mg before. They were never jobs I gave a shit about though. Don't know why I've never been fired. I've looked like a zombie on that shit before.

Are you shitting me? I'm not a doctor, but 900 mg would probably kill you... normal scrip is like 20-80 mg.

RustyFork:

50mg is less than the recommended medical dose

Recommended dose is just a guideline. People's bodies are very different and the dose needs to be determined on an individual basis.

Diacetyl:

Goes under the name Vyvanse/Elvanse. Like I said its a (way) longer version of Dex and as some of you know it only affects focus and motivation, it doesnt make your body hyper or make your mouth talk non-stop.

Vyvanse is the shit, far superior to Adderall imo. Less of that cracked out feeling as you mentioned, so much smoother. I've got a couple of friends who've been on Ad forever and they hate it so I never tried it. When I finally did I was like, wtf? Then I realized they're addicted to the body high, even if they do use it to focus.

Nah, the lethal dose is approaching the 2 gram mark. Most I've done at a time is 1,200mg.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

Just looked into it, sounds right. But holy shit I could not handle that much. I've never taken more than 60 mg of Adderall and even that is WAY too much for me.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
StryfeDSP:

Vyvanse is the shit. Had a friend who ended up in the ER after taking 100mg and staying up for 2 days straight, but if you don't do that I think you'll be fine.

pussy friend
"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 
RustyFork:
StryfeDSP:

Vyvanse is the shit. Had a friend who ended up in the ER after taking 100mg and staying up for 2 days straight, but if you don't do that I think you'll be fine.

pussy friend

Yeah he sucked. He dropped like 3 weeks later.
 

So you live in Michigan, intern as a fa for a fortune200 company and somewhere in your first weeks of interning...I wonder if your company read this how hard it would be to know it was you.

 

Complete and utter BS. Even small ones and with average product a dozen rips is a massive amount and he would have felt weird long before reaching his office. That coupled with awkward phrasing

I sold some shares, but on a net basis, significantly increased my ownership. Jeffrey Skilling
 

When they 'asked if you were high' it was rhetorical. You're busted and they'll keep their eye on you. Unless, of course, your boss is a stoner too LOL

Don't do that again.

....funny though, I give you credit for making it through, I've never gone to work high and it would probably be my last day if I did!

Get busy living
 

@Heist, haha agreed my man. PM me if u got any good stories.

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
 

This shit can't be real....

12 bong hits and a blunt before work = nonfunctioning. You ain't going to work and doing a weeks worth of work in a day if you're that high. Fuck that. 'Specially if you were high enough to forget your fucking socks. Plus, you didn't put the drops in until AFTER you walked in.

And if this is true, you didn't get away with it. Unless this your boss is a stoner or gets high himself, you fucked up. There's four little words that will fuck up your career. When asked, people can say "He/she is great. Hard working. Sharp...", but if they add "but I don't know....", you might as well go ahead and leave the company.

 

Hilarious story and I believe it for the most part. Would I recommend doing that again? Of course not. In all honesty your boss definitely caught you, but if he really cared I'm pretty sure you would've been called out right then and there, especially if it was just between you him and one other person. Doing something like that once or twice is funny and it makes for a good story later on in life when you're sharing internship/college day stories with friends and colleagues. Anything more is just pushing your luck...depending on your work situation.

 

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