Have you ever dealt with a bad mentor?

Glassdoor Via Chronus study: Why Corporate Mentoring? Five Benefits of a Workplace Mentoring Program


Successful companies large and small use mentoring to tackle complex human resource challenges such as increasing employee retention and improving workforce productivity. Corporate mentoring is on the rise and in fact, 71 percent of Fortune 500 companies offer mentoring programs to their employees.

The quote from a mentorship study says that companies offer mentoring programs and while there's no doubt some produce stellar results, there's bound to be those that produce duds.

I am interested in knowing about a time when you were paired with a bad mentor. What did you do to turn the disappointment into an opportunity? Also, did doing so strain the relationship between you and your mentor?

 
dchd9:

Hmm. What's the reason for this? I'm not sure but I would think this is due to competition within the office (i.e., older veterans don't want to see an unproven kid succeed).

What's the reason for what? Organic mentorships being the best? Simple, in order to even have such a relationship, you would need to have reached out to the prospective person, found some common ground or proved in another way that you are "worthy" of their time and effort and hence they decided to give you their time when you need it.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 
guyfromct:

If you're relying on a formal corporate mentoring program you're doing it wrong. The best mentorships are organic.

This. You can't artificially force this type of relationship. And tbh something like a bad mentor doesn't exist, because it would be a contradiction.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

Yes, one guy I networked with and mentored me for a short while didn't have enough time to respond to emails, always jumped off in the middle of phone conversations, etc. Not that I blame him, since he did always seems extremely busy.

He just referred me to someone else when I asked for introductions to more people working with the same product (S&T), who turned out to be a much better mentor and always makes time for a phone conversation within a week of asking for advice.

 
USCecon92:

Yes, one guy I networked with and mentored me for a short while didn't have enough time to respond to emails, always jumped off in the middle of phone conversations, etc. Not that I blame him, since he did always seems extremely busy.

He just referred me to someone else when I asked for introductions to more people working with the same product (S&T), who turned out to be a much better mentor and always makes time for a phone conversation within a week of asking for advice.

Nice. So even though he couldn't commit much time like he used to, he referred you to a guy that could handle the task.

 

Yes, so maybe it wasn't a "bad mentor," just that he wasn't available when I needed advice. My current mentor though, he's gone above and beyond what I thought anybody would do for me when searching for an internship and now FT.

 

Well, I once had one. It was forced by the company I worked at. Actually, it was one of the best times I've spent into a company. Competition tests you, and we competed for everything He was obligated do teach and I was obligated to learn quicky, to adapt and to substitute him competently.

So, I consider my self to be actually competent and adaptable after that. And in general I'm far more confident than I was before it.

Of course a lot of guys left the company, but otherwise we wouldn't have had the staff we had, and results speak for them selves. The thing is, that some sectors in the industry are actually far tougher then anyone else should think, or even accept. No joke, this is real life and it demands competent people through and through.

 
Best Response

In my first non-finance internship, I was assigned a mentor. This being an old struggling steel mill in the midwest, my mentor was a 30 year old guy with a beard who wore jeans everyday and was finishing up his associates degree. Long story short he was almost fired when someone found on his computer a picture of our boss with a dick drawn on their face using MS Paint.

 
DickFuld:

This whole idea of asking someone to be your mentor is one of the more socially awkward things I've heard of yet.

I heard that it's best you don't try to force it. Don't go asking "Hey, can you be my mentor?". It just happens informally, as long as you can provide them long-term value.

 

I think it's a good chance. But, not to ask directly. I also had to deal with this, but not based on "forcing" things. Some people may be naturally influenced by you. Personally it is common for me, I don't know exactly why. But some people get impressed with me, specially when I'm not talking too much. And this is magic, because I make some stuff that I wish to just "happen".

And, if you could turn something "weird" into a cool moment, where the person shows that you deserve some help. It could be very utile.

I mean, this is quite like the "Ben Franklin effect". It just happens, that you first need to break the "ice" of an individuallist person. Shock people you want to help you first, then show that you see them, and later make them magically need to help you (you could appeal for their interests, then buy them out with this), but later on if you show competence, they'll be actually proud of helping you. And they'll probably help you later on, as long as they are in contact with you (and this is the actual Ben Franklin effect).

 

A lot of the forced mentor programs have mentors who are directly above you and responsible for your reviews. It is difficult to get good advice if you would want to switch service lines or projects. A change would most likely require more work by your "mentor" and can adversely impact the performance ratings you receive.

Ie. You receive a rating below the required threshold to have the opportunity to interview for other service lines.

This happens all the time. It is important to have a mentor outside of your group or even outside of your company. This way you can ask for career advice without repercussions.

 
Doctor Mantis Toboggan MD:

A lot of the forced mentor programs have mentors who are directly above you and responsible for your reviews. It is difficult to get good advice if you would want to switch service lines or projects. A change would most likely require more work by your "mentor" and can adversely impact the performance ratings you receive.

Ie. You receive a rating below the required threshold to have the opportunity to interview for other service lines.

This happens all the time. It is important to have a mentor outside of your group or even outside of your company. This way you can ask for career advice without repercussions.

I see. So for example, if I'm working in IT sales, I'm best off finding another salesman in another field (e.g., real estate)?

 

If you are looking for a position within IT sales network with everyone you can to try and get your foot in the door. If you want to remain in IT sales then try and identify someone outside of your group, but at the same company or at a different IT sales firm. There is nothing wrong with having a mentor in your group, but as some of the other mentioned, it's important to have it happen organically. For instance, I just passed my "mentor" at the client I am at and he didn't recognize me. We had a face to face two weeks ago... That is not effective mentoring.

Mentors that you have a natural relationship with are more likely to give you advice in your best interest and not theirs.

 

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