HFF Drug Test Summer Intern

Hi monkeys, I have an offer for a summer internship at HFF in a large city (think NY, LA, Chicago). When I signed my offer letter it mentioned a drug test. Do any of you have experience to know when it would be? Would it be in May/June before I start or sometime this month (I just signed the offer last week)?

 
Controversial

Agreed if you do drugs you don't deserve to work there. And just so you know there are a ton of people that would kill to work at HFF with probably comparable stats as you that don't do drugs.

 

I'm literally stoned right now reading this. If you think weed is bad, then you sure as hell would never make it there.

"It is better to have a friendship based on business, than a business based on friendship." - Rockefeller. "Live fast, die hard. Leave a good looking body." - Navy SEAL
 

If you're really that worried about it find a place that sells juice. There's a ton of places out there doing the new "hipster" juice cleanses. Buy a weeks worth of products (probably going to cost you an arm and a leg) and just do that for a week. You'll feel like hell but it'll get all the shit out of your system.

Hbmonkey9 is right. Probably 50% of the people on this forum are doing blow anyway. I'll probably get a ton of monkey shit for this but just because you do drugs doesn't mean you're not qualified for a job. Just don't mix drugs and work and you'll be fine.

 

It depends on a couple factors but there is no exact science.

1) How much you smoked before

2) How much you weight, the THC or whatever they test for sticks to the fat in your body so the thinner you are the better.

3) Hair, Saliva or Piss. I would hope for a piss test if I was you. But just in case get a haircut.

Most people who don't smoke everyday/every week will probably be fine if they abstain for 2 weeks. If I remember college correctly then 4 weeks is a good rule of thumb.

 

Just buy fake piss. It's way easier than trying to plan it right. If you can't find any, then have someone go with you before. Have them piss in a condom (double bag it like a bar whore). Then tie it off, tape it in between your dick and leg.

When its time to piss. Most let you use a stall and don't actually look. Untie, pour in, profit. Or if they do it at a urinal use a thumbtack and poke the bag while you're getting set.

Piss, profit then go get baked.

"It is better to have a friendship based on business, than a business based on friendship." - Rockefeller. "Live fast, die hard. Leave a good looking body." - Navy SEAL
 
Funniest

You realize this would NEVER work. I like you and your posts but you clearly have never taken a drug test.

1) Condoms have chemicals so they can tell - a plastic zip lock is way better. 2) Any reputable firm sends you to a place that tests the temperature of the urine immediately and can tell if it's less than 5 minutes fresh, so you would need the dude to pee in the bag immediately before walking in 3) They ask you to take off your jackets / search your bags.

The easiest way to get past the drug test is to let the dude piss in your mouth and just nod yes/no until you spit it into the cup.

 

Everyone does something it seems. Not all can be tested for. Like gambling.

Over my 20 years in the biz, outside of Meth, I've seen nothing more damaging to a person than a gambling addiction.

I've known pot heads, coke heads, meth heads, gamblers, porn addicts, stripper addicts and prob a few others. Most people I know have some type of vice.

 
  1. Identify a friend with clean piss. I've used the same guy each time I've needed him and buy him a round of golf each time I use his services. Win-Win.
  2. Ask friend to pee in a bottle (preferably a small 4-5 ounce plastic travel shampoo bottle that can be bought at the drug store). He must pee in the bottle no more than 2 hours before the test.
  3. Wear a jock strap and put the bottle in the hole where the cup goes and tuck it under your balls. This is to keep the temperature high enough where it'll pass the screening.
  4. Show up for your drug test, walk in the bathroom when they call you and pour the contents into the drug testing cup.
  5. Pee a little in the toilet for effect

As long as you go to the test promptly after receiving the clean pee and don't drop the bottle in the bathroom when you're making your transfer then you'll be golden...no pun intended.

giddy up
 

There are some pretty sorry responses above, including "if you've ever done drugs you don't deserve it", "everyone there does blow", and "just go on a juice cleanse bro"... you've got to be kidding me.

It's a labcorp urine test they give you 48-72 hours to complete. Niacin, a urine cleanser, plenty of gatorade, and sweat would be your only hope to pass with your own pee with that short of a fuse. If you pass an at home test you will pass the labcorp one.

THC will stay in your system longer than anything else. That being said, I can't wrap my head around why anyone would be smoking between the time of their interview(s) and receiving the offer for exactly this reason.

 

While the obvious solution would be to "stop smoking weed", why don't I propose an alternative. I've used this method and helped 6 different people pass. These people were all potheads who had smoked roughly 3-4 days before their test, and one of the people was a fat chick who smoked like a chimney, so helping her pass really helped affirm the merits of my process. Remember...6/6 baby! Without further ado...

If your drug test isn't till May/June, then skip the rest of my post. Just abstain from smoking. That's the easiest solution.

If your test is within the next few weeks, then continue reading. First off, don't smoke anymore. Isn't that easy? Great. Now comes the hard part. You want to exercise intensely for at least an hour each day. My "friend" had a test in 5 days, and he would lift for an hour in the morning, go to boxing in the afternoon, and hit the bike for 45 minutes at night. Now depending on your fitness level and time constraints, you may not be able to do all that. That's fine. As long as you exercise intensely for an hour per day, you'll be burning off the fat that contains THC. While you are doing this, it is imperative for you to avoid eating fatty foods, foods high in carbs, etc. You don't want to be packing on more fat. You want to burn off as much THC-containing fat cells as possible. Everyone says to "drink a ton of water, tea, cranberry juice, etc". All water does is dilute your urine briefly (which is important but I'll mention it more later). Although it can help you excrete THC metabolites that have already been burned off and are in your urine, it doesn't do anything to burn off the THC in your fat cells. You'll just feel bloated the whole time. Eat a lot of fruits, veggies, and stay relatively hydrated.

Do the above process up until 2 days before your test. Now, with 48 hours to go, you must eat like a savage. Yes, eat all the red meat, fries, donuts, etc that you want. Why? At this point you have (hopefully) burned off a ton of the THC in your fat cells. Now you want to form new fat cells to cover up any remaining THC fat cells. Continuing to work out this close to the test day is dangerous, as your urine will contain tons of THC and you may test positive. There are reports of people not smoking for months at a time, and then they workout real hard before a test and fail. Don't be that person. This part is easy.

For the final step, go on amazon and buy this product called Q-Carbo plus. Here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/HERBAL-CLEAN-DETOX-Liquid-Strawberry/dp/B0011DQS…

Use this product on the day of the test. Make sure to take the 5 horse pills. Follow the process outlined on the bottle. Follow the directions! I cannot stress this enough. It's gunna suck but when you pass the test, the suffering will be worth it. What does this product do? Basically it dilutes your urine (good) but also has a bunch of creatine in the pills so that you keep your creatine levels high. Diluted urine can pass drug tests, but the lab will test for appropriate levels of creatine and they'll just flag your sample as diluted. You'll have to retake the test (or in some extreme cases your employer just calls it a fail). This product will allow you to dilute your pee without being detected. Make sure to pee a couple of times before the test. When you actually pee for the test, use the middle of your stream

Good luck.

 

This thread is absolutely crawling with squids. Telling a college kid he doesn't deserve to work an internship at a brokerage shop because he smoked weed... that's just embarrassing, even for WSO standards. Aside from sounding like a world-class steed rider, it exhibits a frightening lack of awareness.

FWIW, none of my HFF friends had to take drug tests, even though it specified one in their offers. I wouldn't take that to the bank, but typically drug tests occur closer to the point of on-boarding than signing your offer. Wouldn't make much sense to administer a drug test 5 months before the person will be working for you.

 

There are synthetic urine that you can purchase. Around my area it is $20, but could be more if not available in your area and have to buy online.

You usually take it in with you to the restroom and maintains temperature.

 

I've heard rumors that companies will overlook positive tests for marijuana as opposed to hard drugs. That could just be wishful thinking though. Anybody who is worried buy yourself some home tests on Amazon and test yourself. Get the 20 ng/ML... you can get them in bulk for really cheap. Get two different brands and if you pass on most of those you should be golden.

 

that glaucoma is a bitch ain't it? just stop injecting/snorting/smoking and all will be well.

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
 

All the people whining about the guy smoking weed or doing some other suibstance - get a life. Boohoo, he did something mommy government said is bad, big deal, it's his private life. I know a ton of guys in the industry that smoke pot or snort coke. You know what's most common? Alcohol, far worse than marijuana yet people act like it's fine to be a raging alcoholic but not smoke pot. If you're saying something like he "doesn't deserve the job" you're a loser.

Secondly, what a bunch of rookies. You don't get a buddy to piss in a condom, when they will check the temperature. You don't buy fake piss, they can tell it's fake. You go to TestClear and get real powdered urine, that is actual piss that is clean, ya mix some water, microwave, it has a temp gauge on the slide, toe warmers keep it warm, tape it to your taint and go. It's not a parole check, they're not going to watch you.

 

Vitae nemo doloremque maiores sit molestiae vero. Ratione fugiat dolorum sunt odit incidunt reiciendis in. Fuga dolores velit veritatis voluptates ullam quibusdam neque.

Ut consequatur quas ea voluptatem ullam et. Ut iste error consequatur iure quia molestiae. Iusto aliquam quod sed.

Laudantium qui temporibus voluptatem amet rerum provident et. Ab quidem voluptatum dolore earum qui eos.

 

Magnam assumenda corrupti et at. Harum eius ex possimus id. Quam quas quis maxime.

Fugit provident commodi laudantium et velit. Eum natus ut praesentium tempore provident illum. Perspiciatis qui placeat nulla atque velit neque et. A magni doloribus doloremque deserunt dolor. Sed pariatur dolorem vero vel animi est.

Quia quod sit occaecati et aliquam harum reprehenderit. Eum quis voluptate rerum et. Omnis fuga quae aspernatur blanditiis alias in.

Ratione porro dicta corporis et praesentium aut. Illum quo nulla incidunt et ipsum et. Eaque aut voluptatum aliquid omnis repellendus consequatur.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”