Honest Questions to Those in Banking, Finance, Etc.

I am not sure if this is the right place for this topic but here it goes. Please forgive me if this isn't the right place to post.

I am not involved in a Wall Street related career (I am currently in the medical field) and I would like to know if investment bankers, financial analysts, etc would ever consider dating/marrying a doctor. (considering time constraints and stressful work environments)

I recently had a bad experience with a financial analyst who thought that he was the only one who had a busy schedule and would expect me to be available whenever he was free (not taking into consideration at all that I was on call). Is this common (as in should I have been more understanding) or was he simply unflexible?

 

Unusual username for a genuine human but I'll take it as it is.

Yes and no, doctors would make a welcome personality match to some bankers, however the biggest conflict I can see happening is hours. As I understand it, doctors, especially juniors, end up with the weekend and night shifts, which is about the only times the banker isn't at work.

If you get more senior, or have more control over your hours, or he's in a less hour intensive role, then will work. Personally at your age (I'm guessing you're more junior than not), I would find people to make your life better, ones that are compatible with you right now and in the near future. A large number of young bankers think they're the 1% of the 1% that will make megabucks, and will date a supermodel. So statistically it's unlikely you'll get a long term thing going.

As to your example, he's just being oblivious to you working hours that he doesn't. Explain it very clearly and if he doesnt get it then he's being difficult and should get the boot.

T

 
trazer985:

Personally at your age (I'm guessing you're more junior than not), I would find people to make your life better, ones that are compatible with you right now and in the near future. A large number of young bankers think they're the 1% of the 1% that will make megabucks, and will date a supermodel. So statistically it's unlikely you'll get a long term thing going.

Thank you for your reply, it was very insightful and thoughtfully written!

I am in my mid-20's (which is not exactly young anymore) and I'm looking for a more permanent significant other. (You did guess correctly though, I am currently a resident) Would it be more probable that a long term relationship would work out if the other party were older? As in their late twenties to early thirties?

And could you explain what you meant by "people to make my life better"?

 
10034:
And could you explain what you meant by "people to make my life better"?
People ....that make your life .......better. As opposed to people that make you unhappy.

Bankers are basically on-call businessmen who work a LOT so they can get rich and/or retire early. If you want a guy that's all about that, great. If not, pick another type of guy.

FWIW, lots of bankers are married to teachers, doctors, non-profit type women who are a bit more down to earth and who offer a refuge from the constant stress. Just be careful: if you're dating a guy because he's a banker, you're making a mistake, don't date the career. Date the person.

Just my $0.02

Get busy living
 

I think in terms of your question regarding consideration as they age, it probably depends on the person. Most young guys in banking leave it (in terms of what you would consider banking) for a less time-intensive position. Those guys would probably be more considerate, because it shows that they value other things more than money. In addition, as they age they probably (I would hope) become more mature and aware that they aren't the hot shit they thought they once were.

However, you'll certainly get your share of people that aren't this way, and are forever chasing money, status and prestige at the expense of other people.

I agree with UFO that you seem to want two different things - someone who is considerate of your time and someone who is ambitious and driven. At some point those two start to overlap.

MM IB -> Corporate Development -> Strategic Finance
 

I assume it takes quite some brains and/or ambition to go through med school and become a doctor, and also somewhat (for the most past, I'm just assuming this naively) good intentions about people and hopefully taking care of themselves (exercise, nutrition). Also being a doctor can be stressful and time-demanding, which I'd appreciate in my partner to understand about my job. Don't see a problem with any of that, sure would date a doctor.

 
Best Response

UFOinsider is correct. I have seen this a lot with educated, professional women in their mid-20s. I am married now, but dated more than a few lawyers/doctors/engineer women when I was 25-29 and each of them had the same misaligned expectations of a partner. In addition to that each of them felt that any sacrifices I made was expected (i.e. a baseline for doing business) yet any that they made were some kind of massive imposition.

In order to be a highly successful Top 1%ER, there are very few paths there that do not involve working your ass off for 6-7 years. Financiers work 100 hour weeks for 3-4 years, lawyers do the same in order to try and make partner, and you already know what doctors have to do to become attending physicians.

You probably just need to accept that at this point in your life it is going to be very hard to be compatible with a driven & ambitious guy. And one more thing...... Driven & ambitious young men with a lot going for them are going to be much less tolarent of any psycho women emotional BS. Trust me on this one.

 

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