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mod (andy) note: another one of our favs...

okay guys, i am in a very difficult situation. I have a very nice car, 2006 bmw z4, that gets me compliments all the time. there is this incredibly hot girl at work that i like but i've never talked to her before since i have nothing to talk to her about. i figured that i could use my car as an ice breaker since all girls love guys in nice cars.

so anyways, my problem is that there isn't a lot of parking near my work and also that its hard to time it so that the girl can see me getting out of my car in the morning. ive tried driving to work a little bit early so that i can secure a parking spot but then i wait for the girl to walk by so that she can see me getting out of my car, but i always miss her,

maybe she goes in a different way or something lol but this has made me late for work a couple of times which is getting me in trouble. also, sometimes when i try this, the parking spots are all taken which means that i have to park really far away and then walk to work which makes me late too. i dont think i can be late anymore so i thought i should try to do this outside of work. i know that this girl does yoga sometimes at a nearby plaza which has plenty of parking and would give me a good opportuntiy to bump into her in my car. there is an ice cream shop next to the yoga place and i can say that i was getting some ice cream. i dont like to eat stuff in my car tho, so would it be weird if i didnt actually get any ice cream - would the story still be believable? also, would it be really sketchy if i bumped into her randomly at the yoga place?

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Comments (87)

  • drexelalum11's picture

    Dude, that's just creepy. You'll never impress a girl for more than 30 seconds with any car, and if you do, she isn't a girl worth impressing. I'd suggest you just talk to her.

    ps Z4 is a chick car, she'd probably just think you're gay if she saw it

  • Marcus_Halberstram's picture

    Thats quite a conundrum.

    Might I suggest you park in the opposite corner of the Yoga shopping center until you see her walking out, then drive by while shes crossing the street in front of you and look down as if you're looking at your phone. And just keep going. Thats right, keep going. Run right into her. There is no way she will miss you or your sweet ride. If all goes as planned you'll just nudge her, afterward you guys can joke around about it. Hopefully within 6 months you can impregnate her and then she will always be with you. Another good idea is to break into her car while she's in yoga and steal some items out of her car. This is a great opportunity to smell her seat. You may even find a sweaty tshirt or something... jackpot. When you see her, return the items to her. Act like you found them in the parking lot, she wont suspect a thing. Hopefully within 6 months you can impregnate her and then she will always be with you.

    In all seriousness, just talk to the girl. Why the hell do you think she would give a shit what kind of car you drive. You can impress some random grl you drive by with a car because you dont have anything to talk to her about. If you work with this chick, you should start warming up to her. And no, that doesn't mean sneaking up behind her and pressing your body against her.

  • nygiants's picture

    you ready....

    ok get into your z4
    drive it to the palisades
    drive it off the palisades
    kill yourself

    hope this helps

  • peterg's picture

    Is this a fucking joke?
    I agree with drex, she probably thinks you're either a flamer or driving your mom's car and so she tries to stay away from you.

  • dipset1011's picture

    I chuckled reading the first few sentences then I read further and realized that you are a stalker with a possibility of being a closet pedophile.

  • stk123's picture

    blumie, you just made my day. Thank you for the post.

    If you think very carefully about what you wrote in your post then you should realize why you don't have a hot girlfriend.

  • Marcus_Halberstram's picture

    I drove a 160K car while I was in HS.

    Every now and then I'd get some random ho complimenting my car. Thats about all it will do, get them to approach you. And thats if they're flaky enough to be impressed by your car.

    Your car isn't going to do shit for you, its all about the swag.

    FYI... black guys love expensive cars more than chicks do. I probably could have banged a bunch of black dudes, if I felt so inclined.

  • In reply to Marcus_Halberstram
    DontMakeMeShortYou's picture

    Marcus_Halberstram:

    FYI... black guys love expensive cars more than chicks do. I probably could have banged a bunch of black dudes, if I felt so inclined.

    Best. Comment. Ever.

  • junkbondswap's picture

    Great post...very entertaining and I will assume like everyone else that it was posted as a joke

    I dunno about best comment ever but the kids on fire...I also like the go kill yourself reco

  • Cornelius's picture

    bro i used to drive a broke down hoopty (japanese of course) and still got hot girls. like marcus said, its all about the swag.

    please study the banker method.
    ------------
    The world has changed. And we must change with it.

    ------------
    I'm making it up as I go along.

  • IBWannaB's picture

    I think you just simply need to upgrade your car to a 2008 or 2009 model, whatever the latest version is. That will most probably work a lot better than the 2006 model. Good luck!

  • 7S's picture

    there is this formula

    Banker's formula to get a girl with a car:

    % of success = cost of car + (number of doors - 4)^2 - the girl's hotness + your game

    sounds like you would need something better than an audi R8 to get this girl

  • In reply to 7S
    squirtle's picture

    7S:
    there is this formula

    Banker's formula to get a girl with a car:

    % of success = cost of car + (number of doors - 4)^2 - the girl's hotness + your game

    sounds like you would need something better than an audi R8 to get this girl

    My formula to get a girl with or without a car:

    1 - (% chance of creating a banker formula to get a girl with a car)

  • In reply to squirtle
    Cornelius's picture

    JJC:

    My formula to get a girl with or without a car:

    1 - (% chance of creating a banker formula to get a girl with a car)

    u must also apply a leveraging/deleveraging variable into the equation, some sort of beta to define risk or a (1 + (1-t)*D/E) to incorporate the after-tax cost of debt for the girl and the car.

    ------------
    The world has changed. And we must change with it.

    ------------
    I'm making it up as I go along.

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  • sick_willy's picture

    This has got to be a joke

    ---------------------------
    BossMode

  • blumie's picture

    hi guys - i reread my post and i can see where some of you are coming from thinking im a dork or whatever, but i really am not and am actually pretty good with girls. actually, i could've slept with one of my associates and one of my directors, but i'm actually very picky when it comes to girls and the associate was only a 4 or 5. the director was hot, like an 8, but she was so senior so i didnt want anything bad to happen to my job. i think that i'm decently good looking and i wear fitted shirts and stuff, so all that stuff is in check. but this girl at work is way hot, otherwise i wouldnt usually fall for the girl so badly. i know many people said that my car is girly or for old moms or whatever, but maybe you dont actually know what a bmw z4 is or your from the south or something lol. it's a really hot car and i get compliments about it all the time and i know that if she saw me in it, she would be impressed. i just need to find a way to bump into her while i'm at my car. also i'm not going to calculate a formular or whatever to see how i can get this girl, i'm not like a dork, lol.

  • DontMakeMeShortYou's picture

    God, I hope so.

  • AyatollahOfBanking's picture

    Marcus is right. If you buy a car thinking you're going to attract women, I regret to inform you that you're sorely mistaken. I drive a much more impressive car than you, OP, in fact, my parking spot costs more than your car, much more or less the car itself. However, the multiple of compliments I've gotten from high school boys is something in the order of 15x the number I've received from women. Worse, the compliments I have received from women have always come when they were already in the car to begin with and get thrown back in their seat. Thus, no marginal benefit.

    As such, you're being an idiot. Second, unless your last name is Abramovich, someone will always outball you, if a girl is impressed by your z4, she'll be more impressed by the next guy's sl63, and if she's impressed by the sl63, she'll be more impressed by the guy in the dbs. It's a losing game, and not worth playing. Unless you're in Des Moines, there will always be someone with a better car than you. And since you're in a z4, you already know this.

    So my suggestion to everyone, buy the car you like, not the one you think is going to get you laid, because 99 times out of 100 it's not going to make a difference, and that one time might get you the clap.

  • dipset1011's picture

    BLUMIE you most definitely graduated from MIT do to your social awkwardness. I think the tool academy is having an audition for season 2.

  • jackofalltrades's picture

    the z4 costs as much as a loaded minivan, and the only chicks you'll pick up in that are your female family members.

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  • GameTheory's picture

    1) I'm moving this.
    and
    2) The only thing manlier than a Z4 is the Honda S2000.

  • Marcus_Halberstram's picture

    Let alone the fact that you will be perceived has a huge fucking tool considering the grl will be cognizant of the fact that you never had the balls to approach her, yet she see's you in your car and now you have somehow mustered some self-esteem.

    And the fact that you perceive your car as this icon of ballerness is pathetic. Its like seeing someone wearing a JoS A Bank suit and treating it as if its a Bespoke from Saville Row.

    I usually use my "get laid free cards" as a sleeper. ie. and I am absolutely NOT serious about this example, I know some of you may think this is what really happens.

    Superficial gold-digging ho: So what kind of car do you have?
    Me: [Side step question, change the subject]
    Superficial gold-digging ho: [Again tries to find out what kind of car I have]
    Me: [Side step question again, change the subject]

    Later that night, we get to my Aston Vanquish... cut to Superficial gold-digging ho's jaw dropping, followed by her panties, followed by her, to her knees fumbling with my fly and begging me to ejaculate on her while she stares into the Aston crest with wings.

    Although I'm absolutely not serious about the above example, the principal is, and this goes not only for slaying whores, but also just in carrying yourself, if you have a Ferrari, don't act like its such a huge fuckin deal. Don't bait people to ask you what you drive, or try to time it right so someone you know sees you in your car. It says far more about someone if there is something extraordinary that just isn't that big of a deal to them personally. Not to mention its a lot classier when you don't tell anyone and everyone who will listen that you went to Yale or that you drive a Bentley.

  • 2's picture
  • ttmaster99's picture

    Holy crap man... I just bought a BMW Z4 and so many people said it's a girl car... So I'm googling up to see why people say it's a girl car... And I came cross your blog...

    Oh my god man... What the hell are you thinking? OMFG... You're in the working field, so I'm assuming you're done with your college and can afford a car... I'm freaken speechless that you're an idiot even after getting out of your college nerd mode... I bought my Z4 so I can drive my girlfriend to places so we can have fun, and feel freedom with the wind blowing against our hair, and away from the daily stressful American life. But holy crap, you bought a car thinking it'll get u a gurl... OMFG!

    Do me a favor bro... 1) Make sure your breathe is nice and minty at all time and your teeth are white, white teeth mean nice smile, nice smile mean friendly looks... 2) Talk directly to her, if you cant talk to her then just go grab some nerdy girl in the office and go play Warcraft and dont ever try shit like this again... 3) If you ever talked to her, make her laugh as much as you can but dont bring up some stupid jokes, just talk like normal and be goofy, but keep your professionalism. In another word, BE NORMAL...
    4) Dont ever approach her like you want her as your girlfriend, approach her like you're a friend. Girlfriend part comes later when she's comfortable talking to you and dont get too personal, and also try to get out of the "friends" mode with her before you'll permanently stuck in the "friend" position and cant get out of it. 5) You know what? There are no such thing is a dating manual...

    Whatever you do, dont post your message ever again with how your BMW Z4 needs a beautiful girlfriend in it and how it should help you get a girlfriend... I ever see you post $hit like this again, I'll personally use my Z4 to smash the hell out of your Z4...

  • drexelalum11's picture

    nice post ttmaster, glad you registered to leave that one.

    As for why the z4 is a chick car, it is mostly because it is the successor to the z3. I believe it's pretty evident why that's a chick car...

  • In reply to drexelalum11
    lucasblane's picture

    drexelalum11:
    Dude, that's just creepy. You'll never impress a girl for more than 30 seconds with any car, and if you do, she isn't a girl worth impressing. I'd suggest you just talk to her.

    ps Z4 is a chick car, she'd probably just think you're gay if she saw it

    ROFL

  • NYCWall's picture

    aww hahaha Is this hotchick a banker too?

  • Bi-Winning's picture

    Dude, Z4 is a sick car, but a 2006 model? For real, yo?

    I win here, I win there...

  • Brian Fantana's picture

    The older roadster-top (chances are you have this model) Z4 is the chassis from hell. With the added multi-traction control options all you need to do is put on a "tool" button to satisfy the rest of the population who are ignorant to anything automotive related. I bet a lot of people think your car is really cool, but a lot of people think Lexus's and Ferrari's (the one's with those stupid, wannabe open-wheel shifters) are cool too... so, that's not saying too much.

    Next time try not to get a car where its sole purpose is to grab the ladies. Perhaps something older (pre-2000) and more accepted... an E36 or 993 coupe model is a great start if you like sports/track cars.

    Then again... judging by the other responses my point is moot.

  • cphbravo96's picture

    I think I will bump this so we can get the opinions of some of the newer people who haven't commented or seen the thread. Thanks guys!

    Regards

    "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
    - Ronald Reagan

  • Jerrey's picture

    the larger the car, the less time for her. So I guess , if you want someone to look good and heat the kitchen for you, go for the biggest,
    if you want to be that family man and impress a decent nice girl , go for your Z3-

    If you want a smart girl, however, go get a bike and buy $30.000 glasses and a $2 hat and matching flanell shirt.

    "Make 'Nanas, not war! "

  • wallstreetballa's picture

    your not your fucking car nor should you need a car to get laid. smarten up

  • In reply to wallstreetballa
    boutiquebank4life's picture

    wallstreetballa:
    your not your fucking car nor should you need a car to get laid. smarten up

    Way to bump a historically old post and not even understand its a fucking joke.

  • monkey42's picture
  • demoz's picture

    Try to go near her during work casually, minding your own business. Then when she least expects it, bust out your Z4 keys and pretend you're turning the ignition on in mid-air. Then, pretend your steering the wheel, make some acceleration noise, and shift an invisible stick-shift. It will be exactly like driving a real z4 past her.

  • Jerrey's picture

    Oh and never forget to get all weird when someone brings up the shining path or some socialist movement in Souther America.
    But wait, this was for BUenos Aires, won't work in NYC....
    Just get a nice golden chain, a megaphone with autotune, some ice for your smile and some worn-out leatherjacket,

    combine it with some genuine 2999 for sale genuine brogues and you will be the MAN in your Z4

    eventually add some tooth paste to your jeans and if you want to ultra special go to a taylor and make the parts of you jacket nobody sees anyway match your eyes, and think about knitting an additional chest-pocket to put yer chief in it.

    And remember, it's not the car, but it being the proper framing for your dress.

    "Make 'Nanas, not war! "

  • D M's picture

    I like how a good percentage of the replies to this post were people seriously giving advice on how to get this girl...

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • Jerrey's picture

    Well the only serious way to approach a girl is to be yourself. If I got anything from pickup or partying a lot, it's that it makes no sense trying to be funny or bossy or whatever if you arent.

    The only outcome of playing is that you end up with someone that you don't fit with in the first place and then all it costs you is time (you can spent working more, or playing football or looking for your perfect soul mate, or whatever).
    It's like with your career. Don't apply for a job in an industry where you don't want to work in anyway.

    Being as funny as you can be with your character and sharing somethign personal is all you can do. If she doesn't catch the hook. forget her. It seriously isn't about cars or style. If you end up being 50 or so you don't want a shitty girlfriend that sitll expects you to be someone you aren't. All you end up is being like distanced to her and hating her for what she sees in you.

    So if you are considered gay for driving a Z4, then she probably isn't really the matures woman overall, right?

    "Make 'Nanas, not war! "

  • euroazn's picture

    So did you get the girl?

  • GotBushels's picture

    lol z4
    lol waiting in the car
    lol being late multiple times
    lol "Run right into her."

  • In reply to GameTheory
    Studiofan's picture

    GameTheory:
    1) I'm moving this.
    and
    2) The only thing manlier than a Z4 is the Honda S2000.

    I see your S2000..... and up you a Mazda Miatta
  • HFFBALLfan123's picture

    Jerry's comment was so gay it killed the thread for 2 months.....

  • Clarkey's picture

    One, you should hand yourself into the police and two, you drive a car that is meant for girls and homo hairdressers.

  • Cicero's picture
  • blindthoht's picture

    read the title and have a glance at the z4, and you can skip directly to the comments lol

    couldn't let go of my pair of aces...

  • burnsy's picture

    Logged in just to ask whether this is a joke or not?

    Also, I think the 2006 bmw z4 is a terrible looking car.

    "All things are difficult before they are easy"
    - Thomas Fuller

  • Gate_Crasher's picture

    Don't shit where you eat.
    I don't know where you come from but it is a WELL ESTABLISHED FACT, that you don't fuck a girl from work. You will end up getting fucked.

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