Hi guys,
This is my 2nd year in work now and I am in treasury for a major corporate. My office happen to be in a small city. So it is nothing like London, NY...where all of my friends are located. This means that i am pretty isolated from everyone since i left university. I do have okay relationship with colleagues but I don't share much interests in their hobbies so had limited attendance in their social events outside of work.
I am studying for the CFA now, so this has occupied most of my time. Sometimes when i finish work, i just feel tired and prefer to do things i enjoy alone to relax, i.e. gaming. These things managed to occupy most of my time, so i only start to realise the real issue after a year when I do get a bit jealous sometimes seeing photos posted by my friends in the city of their nights out. But when i wanted to do similar things, i felt theres no one around that shares the same interest nor is there any place worthwhile to go. I been here over a year now and other than my colleagues, i don't know anyone in this city. From time to time, i do catch up with friends when i have work commitment to travel to the city. But this only happens once every 2months. So I have only had 5-6 social gathering with friends in the past 12 months...
Am i anti-social? Or is it the typical working life that everyone experiences in a small city?
maybe try tinder idk
I've lived in multiple small and multiple large cities since graduating. From my experience, the dynamics of both are pretty similar. It all comes down to the friends you make and relationships you form. Every city has a contingent of folks that like to go out and have fun.
My recommendation would be to play an active role in meeting new people. There are tons of ways to facilitate this although most of them involve you stepping a bit outside your comfort zone. I've had a lot of success through joining intramural sports teams. You don't need to be an athlete to play "Extreme Super Social Kickball" and make a few friends. Believe it or not MeetUp.com has some pretty normal people who are guaranteed to have at least one common interest with you. The key is to be proactive and set yourself up for success.
Some of the best friends I've met in small cities have come from situations that many would call ridiculous. I used to strike up conversations with strangers (in their 20s and 30s) in the elevator of my apartment building. Some of the conversations with nowhere but it didn't take long before I built a social network of people that lived 100 feet away from me. The trick is not to sit around and wait for your phone to ring because it isn't going to happen. You need to initiate things. You'll get turned down by a lot of people but that's the way life goes.
Agree with the post above. You have to be proactive in building a social network. Things aren't going to fall on your lap.
A good tool to meet new people with similar interests is meetup.com. Find and attend an event happening near your city which you would enjoy. There are meetups for anything that you can possibly think of. It's a great way to build relationships with people and have a good time.
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