Best way to request reference/interview from network contact?

A distant uncle of mine (30+ years of financial experience) has worked for KPMG , GE Capital, and M&A for Merrill/BAC and is now an executive at BAC. I recently got his number and email after he told my aunt he would definitely help me out in getting an analyst internship at Merrill Lynch.

However, since he was divorced out of my family, I haven't seen or talked to him in probably 10 years, and thus, I'm not really sure how to go about asking him for a reference/interview. I don't want to word my email and make it seem like I'm just using him for an internship after not talking to him for so many years.

What would be a good way to word my email/phone conversation with him so that I don't come off as needy and distant? Also, how should I go about informing him of my current academic and intern credentials, seeing as he has no idea what I've been doing with my life?

He could have a massive amount of sway in getting me hired because of his title and connections, so I don't want to mess this up. Your answers/advice are much appreciated!

 

I would just keep it short.

Email him, tell him youve been studying for a career in finance for the past x years, and you find that youre very interested in y and z in particular.

Ask him if he'd have time to speak with you sometime over the next few weeks about his career, etc, as its something you are sincerely interested in, and would love to learn more about.

Finally, when you speak to him, make sure you have studied up on y and z topics mentioned above - and dont forget to directly ask for his help before you hang up the phone.

Array
 
Cries:
I would just keep it short.

Email him, tell him youve been studying for a career in finance for the past x years, and you find that youre very interested in y and z in particular.

Ask him if he'd have time to speak with you sometime over the next few weeks about his career, etc, as its something you are sincerely interested in, and would love to learn more about.

Finally, when you speak to him, make sure you have studied up on y and z topics mentioned above - and dont forget to directly ask for his help before you hang up the phone.

Yeah, this is exactly the plan I just thought of myself. He could give me some invaluable advice (I could probably ask him a hundred questions because I've been looking at KPMG and GE Capital internships as well and never knew that he also worked there). And then save the direct-help question for last.

Thanks man!

 

When speaking to him on the phone, you definitely want to be direct. Rather than just asking him about interviewing per se, phrase it more tactfully by saying, "how can I best position myself for an opportunity at the firm."

Capitalist
 
Best Response

this may depend on the part of the country but I think it's a safe bet anywhere in America

  1. never ever ever go in for the kill right away, you have to warm him up first (sidebar on this later)

  2. yes, small talk, get to know him, his story, his background, his role, his personal life, whatever. I think it's all important, but judge the depth you get based on how he receives your questions. it is crucially important that during this step you know your shit. he will not want to help someone out who hasn't done their homework.

  3. he knows what the informational interview is about, he knows you don't want to be friends, but that you want something, but you have to be willing to play the game before he bites. worthwhile jobs take a bit of shmoozing, just like worthwhile girls require some time/money before you close the deal

  4. I'd ask it kinda like this: I'm really interested in getting into ____ at a firm like DB. What advice do you have for me?

He could answer this a few different ways:

a. KYS non target

b. keep getting out there, meeting people, get your name out there, and keep pounding pavement (or some other "go get em tiger" cliche) - this is your worst answer, because you don't know what it means. either he can't help you, or he can but chooses not to. Here's what I'd do, go elsewhere but don't lose touch. Secure some informational interviews and then before they happen, call him and ask for advice (do you know this guy? he works in ____ at ____, do you know anyone there? stuff like that), then tell him how it went (assuming he's receiving all of this well and isn't annoyed by you). if he can help and understands the concept of paying it forward, he'll eventually help you, but don't put your eggs in that basket, he might just not like to help out kids, don't take it personally

c. he'll make introductions to someone at another firm: you should give ____ a call, mention my name, you know what to do here.

d. he'll connect you with someone at his firm, you know what to do here.

if b, c, or d, send a thank you note (email is fine unless he's an old timer like 60+ in which case I'd suggest handwritten)

here's my thinking on why to NEVER ask for the interview up front:

it shows you don't care. it says "I don't care about you as a person, all I want is for you to grease the wheels for me at this firm, I don't care about what you do for a living, your background, what advice you have, I want it in the easy way." this often translates to a poor work ethic, and what idiot would stick his reputation on the line for a person like that?

people who refer want to be sure that it will help them out too, not just a one way street, so you have to prove yourself worthy of their reputation. it takes an order of magnitude more effort to repair a reputation versus damaging it. it's like Jenga towards the end, easy to fall, extremely difficult to stay standing. crappy example I know, anyway moving on.

I wrote about this before, but if you come in as a referral and you blow it, that guy will never go to bat for you again, and moreover, his reputation will be tarnished so he may even hate you, that is not a good thing. there's just too much risk in referring everyone, so you have to be willing to do these seemingly bullshit meetings to show you're not another non target with slicked hair fondling himself to the thought of a $70k salary at 22. you have to care, make him believe you've made a conscious well thought out decision to do banking, and you legitimately value his advice.

if any of this sounds fake or overkill, you need to re evaluate why you want banking, because you may not want it for the right reasons or want it bad enough, or even know why you want it.

Cheers

 

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