How to be happier?

According to Alex Korb, a postdoctoral researcher in neuroscience at UCLA, these habits will provide you with a happier brain:


1) Listening to music.
2) Smiling often.
3) Thinking about your long term goals.
4) Proper sleeping habits.
5) Walking (exercise, social activity).

I thought these were pretty common knowledge honestly, and they make sense if you think about it. Does anyone else have advice on how to stay upbeat during stressful times, whether they be personal or professional stressors?

 

Definitely agree with working out and walking but I use them for different purposes. I find working out helps when there's something frustrating and it's like a physical way to vent for a bit. OTOH I usually walk to relax or think about how to tackle issues that are bothering me.

When I'm in a bad mood, just cleaning up can help too. Doesn't require much thought, it forces you to focus your energy and effort into something productive, and it just feels better to see your room/place clean.

 

I couldn't agree more with cleaning up, I use that as an outlet all the time. My apartment takes 30min to do a solid pickup. After completion, I forget what I was mad about in the first place.

You think I can be the MVP without practicing? -Allen Iverson
 

Avoid materialistic people in your peer group. Take acid at some point in your formative adult years - ideally in the 22 - 25 window.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.
 
Best Response

This is very simple. Do things for other people without the expectation of getting anything in return. This could be mentoring kids or alumni at your school. Soup kitchen. Volunteering in some fashion. Going to an old age home and working with elderly people. Raising money for any number of good causes.

Happiness is found within. It isn't purchased or experienced. That is dopamine. Happiness is about growing as a human, being positive element in this world. You used to be able to find this easy as communities were tight, people all went to church and everyone helped each other out. Nowadays people relocate, live in large urban communities and have been bombarded with a consumption mindset. Stuff will not make you happy.

 

SSits and @TNA" are both correct. 'Stuff' does not make you happy.

I think striving for happiness is also a problem as that is essentially an unobtainable goal. When you strive for happiness you generally will go for short term pleasure like banging a hooker or doing some coke. Long term satisfaction (as opposed to happiness) is achieved through maintaining relationships and achieving concrete goals (usually where you had to overcome difficulties).

 

Take a moment and really appreciate the good things as they happen. That can be eating chocolate to cherishing the time with a loved one or whatever floats your boat. Just stop and focus on the fact that it's good.

It adds more depth and enriches those experiences.

 

There are a number of things you can do similar to just smiling (i.e. a certain stance etc) that can trigger the release of Serotonin for instance. For the majority of those, you can always get artificial precursors, too.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 
ScottVillalon:

Don't worry about anything in life, Automatically you will be happy.

Sounds about right. Happiness = Reality - Expectation. Hence don't expect anything and you'll be the happiest person alive.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

I'm paraphrasing Sam Harris here, but you have to realize that you have to stop looking to the future for happiness, because the future never arrives. You have to be content with the present moment. If you're constantly ruminating about what you could've done, or would've done, you will miss your life. You'll fail to connect with it, with other people.

 

Piggybacking a bit on what ArcherVice said, gratitude is a big one. Gratitude in the small sense (as in appreciating a delicious meal) but also in the larger sense, such as recognizing that while you may not be the next Mark Zuckerberg you were still born in the richest country in history, have a college degree and are probably going to have a much more comfortable life than the overwhelming majority of the world's population (yes, even if you work in MO/BO). I find that being grateful for the big things makes you realize how insignificant some of the setbacks you might experience are in the grand scheme of things.

 
Masterz57:

I find that being grateful for the big things makes you realize how insignificant some of the setbacks you might experience are in the grand scheme of things.

Good advice.

I became a lot happier once I realized that no matter what, someone will always be richer, smarter, and better than I am. Once I realized that, it was a lot easier to be appreciative of what I already have.

 

There is a book out there that I could suggest. I will comment later if I can remember the title. Essentially he said don't think about the past or future because they can be sources of depression or anxiety. So the key message was to live in the now. And his methods of doing this were to be aware of everything. Listen closely to the sounds around you, what you see, etc. Be at peace. I know it sounds hippie as shit, but after I had read the book and actually practiced, it did have me at ease. You take notice to particular details of sunrises, birds chirping, etc. Unfortunately it's hard to stick with this long term

 

my thoughts on happiness always change depending on how things are going at that moment but I've found that I have two dominant perspectives on the subject. When things are going well: "It's so easy to be happy I don't know how i ever struggle achieving this." When things are going south, "I don't think I'll ever achieve pure happiness, I guess the best I can do is enjoy certain parts of life in order to offset my general dissatisfaction with life itself." Although there really is no clear-cut way to make yourself a happy person, the one thing I always try to remember is that happiness doesn't have to be linear. Learn to be comfortable in an unfavorable situation and be acute enough to find a way to extrapolate happiness from it.

For example, my freshman year of college I reached a level of depression unlike any other I had ever experienced. I genuinely hated the college I was at. I never wanted to go there, felt like no matter what I tried to do there I wouldn't learn to enjoy it, and overall had a gut feeling that it wasn't the right place for me. But day-to-day I just put my head down and absolutely murdered all of my schoolwork. Every now and then the overwhelming feeling of being stuck there for four years came around and I'd get a little depressed, but for the most part I remained happy because I admired the schoolwork I was doing. I'm not nerdy by any means but that little feeling of accomplishment when I wrote a good paper/made significant progress on studying propelled me through the year. Fast forward to the end of the year and I earned a transfer acceptance into my dream school.

Now things are going smoothly. However, I don't feel any more "happy" than I did during those days at school. Sure, its easier for me to be "happy" now in the sense that I never really get down on myself, but I dont experience any supernatural feeling like I thought I would when I realized i was going to the school I've always wanted to attend. It's a hard-hitting reminder that happiness really is nothing more than a mindset. My latest endeavor is learning how to be a better outdoorsman and focusing on that for a small portion of my day has boosted my "happiness" exponentially. I cant overemphasize how important having even one thing that you can cling to for enjoyment is.

 

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl is a classic and helped me a lot.

From Wikipedia: "chronicle of the author's experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp inmate during World War II, and describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positively about, and then immersively imagining that outcome.

I would recommend it to anyone. It’s very introspective and essentially deals with goal-setting.

 

I was going to say drinking and sex and whatever but we all know that's a lot of crap and short term patches at best. The truth is the closest I've ever come to true happiness is by celebrating my successes, accepting my shortcomings and essentially accept my lot in life.

Now this does not mean I don't push myself. I always push hard for that next achievement: promotion, raise, vacation, travel, women, etc. The difference is that I am always happy when I get to my goal. If my efforts are not good enough and I fall short, I accept that and switch my attention to something that is just as (sometimes a little less) rewarding but maybe different. in these cases the path behind you might be full of twists and turns and not a straight line but very often those twists and turns have some really good stories and learning moments associated with them. By always celebrating success and learning from failure I have managed to keep myself relatively happy. I am not perfect so cannot claim to be 100% happy but I am close enough for it to matter to me.

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
 

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