How to NOT Attend a Company Networking Session
** Disclaimer ** This is based on a true story
It started as an average day. I was waiting for this networking event for almost two months ever since I was invited to attend. And it was today!
Everything was ready: resume updated and printed, schoolwork put aside, etc. The only thing that was missing is my suit that was supposed to be waiting for me at cleaners. Yes, I only have one suit (I bought it two months ago when I first decided to get a job).
I specifically told the people at the cleaners to have it ready by Wednesday (even though, the event was actually on Thursday). But three hours before the event, I show up and my suit, instead of being at their East Village location, is apparently still in the Bronx at their cleaning plant.
1:36 pm: Still have almost 3 hours to go. Maybe I should buy a new suit?
The cleaning person confirms that the van is on their way with my suit from the Bronx. Should take 45 minutes to get here.
2:00 pm: Go home to fix my hair, drop off my textbooks, and change into business casual (just in case).
3:00 pm: An hour before the event. Called cleaners again: the suit is 10 minutes away. I head straight to the cleaners, all ready to change and attend the event.
3:30 pm: At the cleaners. No van and no suit. Driver is not picking up. The manager at the laundry gives me 10 bucks for a cab to attend the event. I try to refuse, but he insists.
3:40 pm: 20 minutes before the event. All hope is lost. Grab a cab and head to a store to get whatever suit I can find.
3:59 pm: New suit is purchased (195 bucks down the drain). I feel like I have an actual price tag stuck to my behind (probably forgot to rip it off). My heels hurt my feet…. It is rush-hour traffic and I have to be in midtown in 1 minute. On top of that, I forgot my earphones in the fitting room….
4:15 pm: Stuck in rush hour traffic on Park Avenue… The driver is smiling at something, while I feel like punching someone. Maybe I should take subway?
4:20 pm: Get in subway at 28th street. Only a few stops away from my destination (51st street).
4:35 pm: Almost by Grand Central…. Then I hear: “Ladies and gentlemen: We are being held momentarily by the train’s dispatcher.” I want to die.
4:45 pm: 45 minutes late…. Finally at Grand Central. Next stop is 51st.
4:47 pm: The train is being rerouted to express track, which means it will skip 51st and head straight to Upper East Side. I want to die again.
4:50 pm: 9 blocks to walk in these darn heels => I really hate my life. Even cab drivers ignore me, since their shifts are over at 5. I reach Park Avenue and start running.
5:00 pm: an hour late, but I am at my destination. Can’t feel my toes.
6:44 pm: leave the event. My toes are screaming: “SOS.” But all the pain was worth it!
Lesson to learn from this: please make sure to pick up your business attire at least 24 hours before the event….
Um.. yeah... cool!
Guess this was supposed to be funny?
Was neither funny nor helpful. Glad I skipped from the first couple of lines straight to the last.
This is what blogs are for
Omg, we actually have the same birthday.. This is totally off-topic
Lesson 3: Why was this front-paged?
+1
bump
also interested
this reads just like one of 1000 essays I had to correct when I was tutoring foreign exchange students LOL
Takeaways:
1: Girls are not funny. 2. Your friends may have enjoyed this story more than strangers. 3. Girls are not funny.
Hey.. Don't blame her.. There are enough folks who fall in the following categories:
Women who feel like they are somehow betraying womanhood if they don't laugh at another women's jokes/attempts at jokes
Guys who will laugh at anything that comes from anyone/anything with tits
As for the actual story, I am sure it's just something you had to be there to "get" the funny
Who said I am a girl?? I never mentioned it in the post. Wearing heels doesn't automatically imply my gender.
So you are possibly a man wearing heels to a networking event? It's a great talking piece and it lets them know you're into gender neutrality and up with the times and all that stuff they talk about on huffington post.
Look, an unfunny boy!
So from their point of view, you were an hour late? Also, what does "worth it" mean?
I don't get why you would pick up your suit the day of an event. I have like 3 suits but the one I want to wear to the special event, I dropoff at cleaners and always pick it up at least a day in advance and make sure they will have it ready at least a day in advance....
Well this is the lesson: pick up the suit a day before... We only learn from our mistakes, right?
Simply terrible
.......
Never Happened.
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