I received a text no man wants to receive. My girlfriend is...

April Fools?

Have you picked up your dry cleaning lately?

I mean you guys should probably sit down and discuss this. Does she want kids now? Can she and you handle kids? Religious issues?

Look on the bright side man. No more nights with your friends. No more happiness. No more hot girlfriend. Once you fully embrace the utter misery that your life now if you will become the ultimate financial professional.

I would probably talk to her and not us.

PutINweRK:

April Fools?

Unfortunately I am being serious. I am in shock right now, can't even think. The best part is, she has been for 3 weeks, but has been afraid to tell me. We plan on talking later tonight btw for the people that are asking. I was planning on proposing, so it isn't a big deal, but I wanted to wait at least another 3-5 years....

Own up and marry her.

I guess I should try to give serious advice, assuming you're not a troll.

Options (order unimportant):

1. Fight or Flight?
2. Paternity Test?
3. Abortion
4. Just accept it and see it as positive. Besides, kids don't need parenting until they're 14, right? You should be ok for hours. Hey, you could be 13 and have no hours.

It's karma for creating the "I feel bad for "target" students" thread.

In all seriousness, congratulations - no more sleep for the forseeable future! Good luck with everything, you'll definitely feel differently when your son/daughter is born (if you decided to keep him/her).

Oh man, sorry to hear about your situation. I would think the first thing to check-off is whether it's even possible that the kid can be yours (pull out the calendar). If that hail-mary fails, I would seek advice from your direct family.

Good luck bro.

Ouch. Kinda sucky you found out through a text. That's like breaking up with someone through a text. But I'm pretty sure the answer to your question of what should I do, would be to talk to your girlfriend. After that I would recommend telling your job that you are going to be a father and if your hours are so horrible you won't even be able to see your newborn child. Then I would recommend getting your finances in order. Can you afford your lifestyle with a child? Do you live in a studio apartment? etc. Then you gotta find doctors and all that stuff. Tell your family.

unkybunky:

Own up and marry her.

This is generally flat out terrible advice. You said you were going to propose soon anyway, so good that it is with someone you are committed to. Until you talk to her and have some options it is really difficult to offer advice (and I'm not sure how many people here, myself included, have the experience to give you sound advice).

I can say from people I know that having a kid is incredibly stressful. even moreso for newly weds. If you work IB hours and are keeping the kid then you might want to consider a career change. Your wife would be stuck raising a baby by herself and that will likely create a lot of resentment

she sent it as a text and not a call??

Ask her why she didn't tell you three weeks ago. Think long and hard about the answer.

.....and yeah, what TNA said :/

Everyone is saying sorry, i say congratulations! Good luck being a parent to an infant and spending loads of your money on them.

kingoftheotherroad:

I was planning on proposing, so it isn't a big deal, but I wanted to wait at least another 3-5 years....

(PS -- I thought you were going to say: "I received a text no man wants to receive. My girlfriend is...a man.")

Honestly dude, just start working more. You dump her and she will milk half your pay for child support. Just work all the time now so you never have to be home.

Dude, I truly feel bad for you. Like I don't feel bad for many people, but you, I feel pity for.

• edit - on second thought, marry this girl. Just get a tiny ass ring though. See, the kid provides leverage. Maybe before she could have bullied you into dropping coin on a ring, but now that her stock has essentially been delisted you can buy that company on the cheap. I'd even suggest Cube Z, but since you probably are nicer than me just get a mad inclusion .75 carat and be done with it.

Assuming you don't want a kid yet...

Best option is to see if she'll do the abortion. If it's early in the pregnancy, it can be pretty quick and you may as well just offer to pay for it. You could position it to her by telling her to think about what the best interest of a potential child would be. Wouldn't you rather have kids when you both are more established in life and can easily be good parents?

Second option: Depending on your moral compass and the amount you care about this girl, you might want to consider just walking away as a plausible option and start to investigate the most economical way to do that. If she is against abortion, but not against having a kid, maybe adoption?

Assuming you are ok with having a kid / want a kid...

Congrats...next generation of WSO contributors.

kingoftheotherroad:

I was planning on proposing, so it isn't a big deal, but I wanted to wait at least another 3-5 years....

Oh, dude, if she's the one then it's not that big of a deal. Sure it's bad timing, but that's life.

Think positively - health of the baby is better when she's young, her body responds better when she's young, you'll be more fun as a parent since you're young, etc.

SirTradesaLot:

(PS -- I thought you were going to say: "I received a text no man wants to receive. My girlfriend is...a man.")

Definitely thought he was going for "...is cheating on me."

kingoftheotherroad:

Maybe I am thinking too forward.

Nothing wrong with planning ahead

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

good luck dude

CaliBankerSF:

Ok, so you were planning on proposing. That makes this situation loads less serious. You should definitely be talking to her instead of turning to us. Babies are fun anyways

Meh. Kids are fun. Babies are weird, loud, and smell bad

Hey, at least the OP is 24, has a job and a degree. Thinking about how much the OP's situation sucks really makes me pity the people that had kids before they finished high school.

Come one man it's not that bad. Yes you were planning on waiting a few years but very few things in life happen as planned. You said you were going propose to her anyway so my guess I you already envisioned yourself with her as your wife. just talk to her and decide what you want to do but you should be happy not freaking out. You will get through it.

MonkeyNoise:

unkybunky:

Own up and marry her.

This is generally flat out terrible advice. You said you were going to propose soon anyway, so good that it is with someone you are committed to. Until you talk to her and have some options it is really difficult to offer advice (and I'm not sure how many people here, myself included, have the experience to give you sound advice).

I can say from people I know that having a kid is incredibly stressful. even moreso for newly weds. If you work IB hours and are keeping the kid then you might want to consider a career change. Your wife would be stuck raising a baby by herself and that will likely create a lot of resentment

I don't think it's unreasonable advice. Sure, it's going to be stressful, but OP will sac up. 24 is early, but not so early he can't get it done right.

What kind of woman texts this sort of thing?

Jeez.

dew2229:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

good luck dude

There is nothing mature about getting married just because you had a kid, in fact it is old fashioned and can usually make the situation worse.

The OP's case is different because he was already planning on proposing and should have already envisioned life together. But if you are in a relationship that hasn't become that serious then no, having a kid should not be the catalyst into marriage.

CRE:

Have you picked up your dry cleaning lately?

I can't believe nobody got this lol.

MonkeyNoise:

The OP's case is different because he was already planning on proposing and should have already envisioned life together.

yes, this was my thinking regarding the situation. I wasn't going to suggest the OP marry some hooker he randomly got pregnant for the sake of getting married.

"I feel bad for target students"...ROFL The fact that she hides the pregnancy for 3 weeks before telling you is a major red flag.

unkybunky:

MonkeyNoise:

unkybunky:

Own up and marry her.

This is generally flat out terrible advice. You said you were going to propose soon anyway, so good that it is with someone you are committed to. Until you talk to her and have some options it is really difficult to offer advice (and I'm not sure how many people here, myself included, have the experience to give you sound advice).

I can say from people I know that having a kid is incredibly stressful. even moreso for newly weds. If you work IB hours and are keeping the kid then you might want to consider a career change. Your wife would be stuck raising a baby by herself and that will likely create a lot of resentment

It's not horrible advice. It's mature advice. I'm actually married with a kid (that my wife is "stuck" raising), so I actually know what's involved.

A kid is stressful in a good way. It's a reason to work hard and adds meaning to the drudgery. Quite frankly, considering just bailing no her is an incredibly low-class approach. That's what I would expect from trailer parks and the ghetto where out-of-wedlock births are the norm.

To the OP, when my wife told me she was pregnant, I turned white and couldn't speak. It's the scariest thing in the world, but also the best thing in the world. Seriously, though. Propose and tell her you were planning to do it anyway. She needs the confidence of a commitment and your kid will need the stability.

SB for you, mate. Great post

NICE we all just got trolled. Look at his new thread:

http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/would-any-of-you-consider-working…

GFG

Scandal:

NICE we all just got trolled. Look at his new thread:

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/would-any-of...

GFG

I guess he took that "fight or flight" suggestion pretty seriously...

be a man do the right thing

The baby monkey picture to start the thread was suspicious, albeit very adorable

Marry her, she is a keeper and have a beautiful child!

Scandal:

NICE we all just got trolled. Look at his new thread:

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/would-any-of...

GFG

Good call

A chick I was banging told me last week that she's pregnant.

Not by me.

hahahaha

Queue feeling of winning

Scandal:

NICE we all just got trolled. Look at his new thread:

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/would-any-of...

GFG

Just ran out of monkey shit...great

babynames.com op

were not all gonna make it brah...

MAZEL TOV!

Step 1. Have her take another pregnancy test in front of you. Sometimes there are false positives with these things and you should check the results with your own eyes.

Step 2. Is it yours? Make sure it is yours.

Step 3. BE AN ADULT and have a SERIOUS conversation with her about your game plan for the next twenty years or so. Where does she see this going, where do you? Do you both really want a child? Where would you live? Where do you see your life path going? Where does she see her life taking her? Draw out a few different budgets with how you'd be able to afford the child.

Step 4. PLEASE don't marry her just because she got pregnant. In ten years, the chances of either one of you cheating on the other is high. I have met PLENTY a man who says the same story "oh she got pregnant, I had to get married to her, please sleep with me.". Marry her if you truly LOVE her. If you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Imagine her at her worst and if you still love her, then marry her.

Step 5. Talk to your parents about this and see what they have to say.

Step 6. It's all going to be okay! :) :) :) :)

Step 7. If you decide to keep the baby, she should be getting herself to the ob-gyn for a checkup now so that she can adjust her diet/vitamin intake accordingly and so that the dr. can monitor things.

Oddly, my little signature line seems fitting.

If you were planning on marrying this girl, than I wouldn't go the abortion/adoption route. It's not an ideal situation but I say the healthiest option is to go through with the baby and enjoy your new tax deduction. Sometimes life happens and you have to deal.

It's pretty weird that she let you know through text though.

But the real question is...is she a 4?

What kind of exit ops are we looking at here?

kingoftheotherroad:

PutINweRK:

April Fools?

Unfortunately I am being serious. I am in shock right now, can't even think. The best part is, she has been for 3 weeks, but has been afraid to tell me. We plan on talking later tonight btw for the people that are asking. I was planning on proposing, so it isn't a big deal, but I wanted to wait at least another 3-5 years....

What I want to know is 1 did she address you by your twitter handle when she told you and 2 why no one has suggested icy stairs.

Long Sendrax:

What kind of exit ops are we looking at here?

He should have considered different entry ops in the first place

Well you're planning on doing banking in Africa, so I suggest just moving there and hiring a babysitter for 15 cents an hour. Also how did you have time to get an MBA at 24 and get your gf pregnant?

That's nothing. One of my friends made MD at 24 after he got a CS PhD from MIT.

IlliniProgrammer:

That's nothing. One of my friends made MD at 24 after he got a CS PhD from MIT.

I walked on the moon when I was 17.

Then I had sex with it.

CRE:

Long Sendrax:

What kind of exit ops are we looking at here?

He should have considered different entry ops in the first place

A back office position probably would've been the safest bet for him

RustyFork:

I walked on the moon when I was 17.

Then I had sex with it.

Those are my sloppy seconds, brah

Why so much hate for having kids? Have the baby, marry the girl, start a family, don't be an absent father. If you've got a good girl she'll happily take up the motherhood role and you can still focus on your career and have guys nights once every week or two. Baby's are stupid easy for the first few years, especially if wifey has a strong motherly instinct, and if you're thinking about proposing anyway I'd suggest you're more or less ready anyway.

Hell, one night we taught my buddies 3 yr old daughter to fetch beers out of the fridge for us. After that every time I went over there she'd grab me one as soon as I was through the door, it was great.