I want to quit my internship, I can't handle it anymore, what should I do?
Hey all,
I have been doing a research internship for about 4 months now. I have one more month left to go, and I can't do it anymore. I started getting extremely stressed 2 months in, working late nights and weekends, and almost had a near burnout. I'm constantly stressed, waking up with heart palpitations thinking about how bad my final presentation will be, and how I would give anything to be done with it. I don't eat normally anymore, I'm not hungry, and if I do, I feel like throwing up. I'm not happy anymore, I've lost my sense of humor and I don't feel like myself. I blame myself for not having done enough before, I was way in over my head, and I don't understand anything that I'm doing anymore, and I feel like a complete embarrassment, and unqualified to be an intern there. I have come to the point where the fear is paralyzing, I find it difficult to work, and all I see is a mountain ahead of me. This turns into a vicious cycle where I don't do anything, everything piles up, and I feel even more helpless. I'm afraid that I already gave up inside. On the one hand, I only have one month left, on the other hand; I ONLY HAVE ONE MONTH LEFT. I feel like it's too late to make anything out of my failed project, and I will just embarrass myself and the entire company when I have my final presentation. I don't know if I can survive another month feeling like this. I don't want to disappoint anyone, which is why I've been sticking it out until now but I feel like I'm slipping away. Anyone have any advice? Will I still be able to put this on my resume?
Have you tried reaching out to anyone in the company for help? Talking to an advisor or a full-time entry-level employee can help you move forward with your work and put things in perspective. You also need to chill out about being disgraced by a bad product and just get whatever it is you are doing done.
And I would include this internship if I dropped, but I'd also be honest about it in an interview.
Hey man, like previously said first thing you need to do is to chill out, then reach out to your line manager to get some insight on your project, get some feedback and try to do the best you can from there. If you project is too complicated, simplify it, find another angle or something. I have interned in research and I worked hard on my project but the presentation is only a part of your experience so don't focus too much on it. Finally you are an intern, expectations are low, they don't expect something elaborate or complicated. Just present something with calm and you should be alright.
It sounds like this has snowballed away from you a bit - does your company have any sort of a counseling line you can call in to anonymously? That might help. A few key suggestions as someone who has also ended up hyperventilating outside the building at 4 AM:
1) Jobs shouldn't come at the expense of your health. Make sure you practice self care - try to get some sleep / eat regularly / physical activity might be helpful (even if only for 20 minutes) 2) As an intern, you should be given the tools to effectively complete whatever work is being asked of you. If you don't have them, ask / go through your work with whomever is overseeing it and identify key problems / areas you don't feel are turning out the way you want them to. 3) Set up small mini milestones for yourself - ie by 10 AM I will complete thing X. By 1 PM I will look at Thing Y. When I have hard days (and especially in banking!) I set mini slide / modeling deadlines for myself (IE: I will get the macro data sensitivities flowing correctly by tonight and then tomorrow I can tackle the revenue build / sensitivities). Or even things as simple as "in the next 20 minutes before I start my lunch I will finish this slide". Sometimes if you look at the mountain it seems insurmountable, but if you look at the mountain instead as a series of 10 step increments before you realize it you will be at the top...
Finally as someone who now staffs junior resources a bit, I would be horrified to discover that one of them was having an experience like this and felt like I would penalize them for not knowing / having questions. Other reasonable people will feel similarly. I would caution you against trying to do anything rash and towards trying to take constructive steps to find your way out of the mental hole you are in. Life is long and your career will test you in ways you can't anticipate now and the coping skills you develop early in your career will pay you dividends.
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