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Normally I wouldn't post something like this, but i'm at a point where I feel I NEED to vent and hear others opinions and there is no one in my real life I feel comfortable doing so to.

Disclaimer: I admit that a history of mental illness, suicide, and large scale depression is prevalent in my family. And it may be true that I just need to get drugged to high hell. I just haven't felt that I can admit that failure and see a doctor about this yet.

So, essentially, here is a TL;DR. I have been working AM for about a year and a half since graduation and make far more than enough money for my age. Yet, it's never enough and I can't stop spending I have piled up credit card debt on the back of large amounts of booze, toys, etc. I'm miserable at my work. I hate the job. I don't even work that long of hours (think around 55-60) and I dread it every day. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. A bed that I am consistently laying awake in most nights because of the awful insomnia i'm developing. I slept maybe 16 hours combined friday, saturday, sunday, and monday nights. I can't remember exactly how much because I was so drunk on friday and monday that I blacked out for much of the night. Saturday and Sunday I also drank, but managed to stay coherent enough to remember those days. My alcoholism is getting bad to teh point of waking up, having a drink before work, having a drink at lunch, and then spending most nights drinking heavily either by myself or at a bar trying to grab a poor soul to share my misery and some unfulfilling sex. I don't use drugs, but I'm strongly considering jumping into the habit. That leads into my inability to actually connect with other human beings. I'm callous to others situations and emotionally stunted myself. The last two females i've been involved with couldn't handle my co-dependency and depression and left me. The females who do seem to want to "save me" I want nothing to do with.

I'm in a situation where all my issues with work, boozing, insomnia, and connections to others is starting to stop me from functioning. I strongly considered suicide many times over the past 6 months. I even once pulled out the handgun I own, loaded it, and stuck it to my temple. Only do have the female I was involved with convince me otherwise. I spent yesterday fighting a hangover and feeling like my I was actually going legitimately crazy. To the point that I suicide, institutionalization, or generally dropping off the radar and heading to south america are my only options at this point in my life. I'm not sure how or why I am still alive or if I want to be a year from now. I certainly couldn't stand another year of my current existence. And I feel so isolated from the rest of the world that i'm not sure anyone or anything can help me.

I can't really explain my thoughts that well and I know this was rambling, but Ijust had to have some outlet and since I am a regular here (with a different username) this seemed as good as any.

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Comments (106)

  • In reply to assetmanager7
    Edmundo Braverman's picture

    assetmanager7 wrote:
    I will say, your post made me feel better knowing that you have a lot of the same feelings and seem to have found some peace. But I also couldn't help the thought of "shit, he was way more successful than I am, how do I make that happen?"

    That part is simple, believe it or not.

    You just have to ignore all of your other problems while they get worse and convince yourself that money will fix them when it won't. At least that's how I did it.

  • In reply to Edmundo Braverman
    assetmanager7's picture

    Edmundo Braverman wrote:
    assetmanager7 wrote:
    I will say, your post made me feel better knowing that you have a lot of the same feelings and seem to have found some peace. But I also couldn't help the thought of "shit, he was way more successful than I am, how do I make that happen?"

    That part is simple, believe it or not.

    You just have to ignore all of your other problems while they get worse and convince yourself that money will fix them when it won't. At least that's how I did it.


    lol fair point. Though, it's definitely on of those thoughts that just seems so hard to break.

  • luvjobsearch's picture

    At least you have a job !

  • D M's picture

    Sorry to hop on the quitting drinking bandwagon, but I've found that is extremely helpful. I've had a couple of friends get their issues (depression, bipolar, etc) under control by quitting drinking, as well as myself. I know it's a symptom of the issue at first, but then it starts becoming part of the problem as time goes on. It didn't seem like it in my late teens/early 20s, now in my mid 20s it is readily apparent.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • In reply to TheKing
    slowdive's picture

    I'm pretty impressed by the outpouring of support from the community. Nicely done, WSO. Now it's up to the OP to listen, and get his life back on track.

    I've gone through a lot of shit, and honestly never imaged I could have gotten to where I am today. One thing I'll say, life is all about momentum. It can move in either direction, and once it gets started, it's hard to break free. When you are locked in that downward spiral, you feel powerless to do anything other than the same old destructive routine, day after day. It takes courage and strength to bust out of those patterns. It takes a lot of willpower, but it can be done. Remind yourself that it is possible to have momentum in the opposite direction, where success begets success, and your confidence keeps growing as you achieve things one by one. You have to start small, see that it feels good to make changes, and keep building on them. If you really want it, I know that you can get there.

    TheKing wrote:
    Febreeze wrote:
    as soon as you admit to them, you'll see that no one gives a fuck about how much of a boss you're supposed to be - they have their own shit to deal with.

    This. Everyone. EVERYONE has their own shit to deal with. Some worse than others, but everyone has some shit. People just don't like talking about it. But, I bet as soon as you do, your friends will understand and, if anything, tell you that they've got shit they deal with as well. You're definitely not alone.

    This is absolutely when I feel like things like Facebook are poisonous. If you've got crap in your life like the OP does and you spend even a second on Facebook, you'll end up feeling like the only person on Earth with problems. Only, that's not the case, but no one posts anything "real" on the book.

    This, a thousand times this. Everyone just posts a highlight reel of their life - perfect photos with their significant others, crazy parties, extravagant meals, picturesque vacations. Everyone assumes that they are missing out because their lives aren't as great as the ones portrayed on their newsfeed day after day. It's such a facade, a self-perpetuating cycle of insecurity and anxiety.

  • huanleshalemei's picture

    First of all, bravo OP! You are very honest with yourself - an extremely good sign of curability. There are so many lunatics who haven't even realized/admitted their problems (much more serious than yours), and I have no doubt you will be fine.

    But I am not sure if this is the best place to confess and seek comfort. We love to hear great stories, especially from well-intentioned people like those in your thread. But at this point, you need to maintain focus solely on YOU, i.e. stop comparing yourself with others. Haven't you realized that comparison is useless and disturbing, because you always tend to overemphasize your shortcomings?

    So action plan: close the fucking FB, LinkedIn, Twitter pages, turn off your laptop, beat yourself like Edward Norton in Fight Club if you want and, go seek professional help first thing tomorrow.

    P.S. have you talked with any counselor before? The probability of meeting a good-looking girl with tremendous amount of compassion is actually VERY HIGH. Good luck.

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    Febreeze's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:

    P.S. have you talked with any counselor before? The probability of meeting a good-looking girl with tremendous amount of compassion is actually VERY HIGH. Good luck.

    Jesus fuckin Christ. I don't even know where to begin with this.

  • assetmanager7's picture

    So, I had a long conversation with my ex last night. And per her prodding I made a doctors appointment this morning (for tomorrow). I also didn't drink last night but instead downed about 20 diet cokes and played Halo.

    I agree with a lot of you that I think the FB/WSO/ETC things in my life have led to me feeling more miserable. But it's also helpful to hear others reach out and to realize that i'm not the only one who has faced many of these issues. This thread, whether people realize it or not, has been immensely helpful in just bringing me back to ground a little bit. I feel a little less like i'm spiraling out of control today than I did on Tuesday. I'm in a situation where It's gotten to the point where I feel like i'm forcing myself to take steps through life that are expected of me from others, that I expect of myself, that seems normal, etc. It's almost like i'm begrudgingly living life. My ex thinks that I just need to suck it up and realize that it's not "failure" to get on some medication, especially with my family history. Apparently i'm the only one in my family not on either an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication.

    So i'm going to hit up the doctor and see if that helps. And i'm going to reach out to an alum I know to try and see if I can make a move into something that I think might be more intellectually stimulating. The spending is an issue and I really don't know if I can cancel that March trip. But i'm planning on taking my tax return and spring bonus and using them to only pay off debt and hopefully try to budget more appropriately. It's small steps and if I start feeling worse I'm not sure I can keep it up. But at least today, in large part to WSO, I feel like I can make some positive steps forward.

  • Ben Shalom Bernanke's picture

    My $.02

    1 - Ditch the gun, yesterday.
    2 - Cut down on the amount of drinking.
    3 - It's good that you opened up on here, but you have to continue to do so with people who are willing to listen to you.

    Glad to hear you are going to see the Doc also man! Keep posting the positives for us.

  • DonVon's picture

    I closed my Facebook account for about 3 months during recruitment. Despite the stress associated with absolutely having to convert my interviews, it was an extremely positive three months -- ones that were not spent refreshing my News Feed or swiping the Facebook app on my phone.

    When I bit the bullet and went back to the 'Book, the comparisons and anxieties started right on schedule. Facebook really is a pretty destructive e-peen showcase, and I think a lot of people -- myself included -- would benefit in MANY ways from closing their accounts. Tough to do, but probably worth it.

    "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower
    Check out my blog!

  • cakepie's picture

    Sometimes I feel lucky I don't like the taste of alcohol.

  • wallstreetma's picture

    1. Debt - I would suggest you contact an attorney to discuss your financial situation/credit card debt. Depending on the state in which you reside, there are many alternatives to debtors that can alleviate the impending financial strains/prevent harassment from creditors.

    2. As others have said, it would be best to seek professional help. Set aside a small amount of money to use for an appointment with a psychiatrist. They will be able to delve into the issues much more significantly than we can.

  • koske's picture

    Honestly bro, grow a pair and stop being such a pussy!.

    You have a sick job (by the sounds of it) which 95% of the unemployed contributors on this forum would suck a left nut for.

    You just need to re-evaluate what you want/need. First thing is first, STOP the boozing, you need to make these decisions on a clear mind.

    Second, look at the pro's in your life, you getting paid handsomely and only working 60hrs/week. I'll take that trade any day (depending on what your definition of 'good money is') you have a bunch of toys, go out and use them!

    Third, sit down and figure out (this can't be done over night) what you want, short-term, medium-term, long-term.

    As for the in-term insomnia, go to the gym and run your ass off,get a personal trainer to put you through your paces, which will get you tired. So tired that when you get home you just want to collapse into bed. The next day you will be soar, physically exhausted, but your mind will remain sharp.

    That is what I did when I worked 70+ hr weeks in IB. I am no juice monkey by any means, but you need an outlet, a consistent, positive reinforcing outlet.

    Realistically, this isn't a overnight fix. Small steps. Bottom line, go to the gym 5 times a week and get a trainer, which will motivate you, give you goals outside of work, improve your body image, self-esteem, clear your mind.

    That's what you need right now.

    - Only time will tell....

  • T-3000's picture

    I would like to first congratulate you on having the courage to open up to WSO and taking some positive steps forward. Sharing some of your own personal problems openly on the internet is not easy.

    I would first recommend you to get rid of your firearm. The fact that this is in your life and has already been brought out as an option to end your life is only a negative object. You should also try to cut down on drinking. I've seen my depressed friends do absolutely ridiculous things when they were under the influence And it endangered all of our lives in a serious and not fun kind of way. I would also reassess the habitual use of drugs. In your post it seems that you are not referring to anti-depressants but to street drugs, but I'm not too sure. I would tell you that by going down this dark path, you will ruin your life. The habit is extremely expensive and it will change you as a human being, and it will easily double your debt. I've seen people at my former workplace lose their job over drugs. What will you be willing to do when you lose your job and have a dependency on drugs and alcohol?

    I would take time off and reassess my life. What is important to me and what do I want out of life? Who do I want in my life and how can I strengthen/create my bonds to them? There isn't a quick fix to your situation because simply boosting your self-esteem is not going to be enough. You need to seek professional help and stick to the program/therapy that they will put you in. Stay strong and true to yourself and change will come from within. You can always blame your family, job, environment, but if you can't change yourself then you will be in a similar position in the future.

  • mdk6c's picture

    I went through a pretty bad episode a few years ago. It turned out I was just lonely. It took a whole lot of thinking and introspection to figure that out. But I took it one day at a time and somehow managed to push through it. The key was convincing myself that life would get better and, in the end, it did.

  • In reply to wallstreetma
    assetmanager7's picture

    wallstreetma wrote:
    1. Debt - I would suggest you contact an attorney to discuss your financial situation/credit card debt. Depending on the state in which you reside, there are many alternatives to debtors that can alleviate the impending financial strains/prevent harassment from creditors.

    2. As others have said, it would be best to seek professional help. Set aside a small amount of money to use for an appointment with a psychiatrist. They will be able to delve into the issues much more significantly than we can.


    I'm not in such bad debt that i'm not paying my bills. I make more monthly than my liabilities are. But I end up spending the rest and then some on credit card for partying/clothes/trips/etc. That's where the whole maxing out my credit cards has started to happen. Then I put my paycheck towards the credit card and then spend everything on credit. It's a bad cycle. But i'm going to work to get out of it. I don't need half the shit I have.

    I did make a doctors appointment so we will see how that goes. That shit is so awkward, though. I told the nurse while making the appointment that it was just general fatigue.

    As for the people talking about my "sick" job. It's definitely a good job than most have. I made less than 6 figures in my first year, but not much less. And 60 hrs isn't bad. I realize i'm objectively doing well, I just can't shake the way my thoughts are shaping me. And i'm extremely bored at this job. I would give up a lot of money to have a job where I was excited to be at and challenged daily.

  • AlphaMentality's picture

    Hi assetmanager7 - my thoughts:

    Most, if not all, of "us" are deranged, depressed, angry, suicidal ect - you are the norm not the exception. Secondly, with regards to the suicidal state of mind - consider the world in this manner. You have decided not to kick the stool and therefore anything you do from this day out is free roll to the scoop. You have debt? F it, whats the worse that can happen - you don't pay? You have girl issues? F it (literally), don't actively seek a relationship - hang out with your friends, meet other girls, F other girls and everything will fall into place. You ex? F her, why maintain communication? There is no such thing as a platonic relationship...

    Many people will state "be happy you have a job". F them, your company certainly isn't a charity organization and they do not pay you for lost value. Feel entitled, you worked hard to get where you are. Your boss, your co-workers - none of them are doing you any favors, you earn your bread and you make your bed.

    Once you understand this sentiment that you are essentially free rolling (sorry for both poker analogies), then you can move onto the next hand. Convert this state of depression into a state of anger / hunger. You will see weaknesses in others, exploit those weaknesses, feed off of those who are weak. Consider their aurora as a sense of ATP, kinetic energy, potion (what ever you want to call it) and become stronger in all facets.

    Finally, viciously and inexorably, promote your self interest. This may sound to Ayn Randish but selfishly pursue your own value. I personally get no value from drinking (i think you all can assume my vice), partying, or even vacationing. I get a sense of euphoric through accomplishments (i.e cfa, mba, snatching 225 ect). Find what you value most and relentlessly seek that pleasure.

    In summary, misery loves company and I think you found the breeding ground of non-normal individuals. If you do end up taking your life, do it in a noble manner. Go out as a hero, leave your last name as a proud remembrance, die in the name of saving a hostage, rescuing sex slaves, discovering a pharma conspiracy ect.

  • TheHoustonFlight's picture

    join a support group, if you are having problem with connecting with others as you call it, it will do you some good if you can find places where others and yourself are suffering the same problem and can vent and help each other in person

  • tnw91's picture

    Truly, having a stimulating job and a loving community will make a difference. In my opinion, you definitely seems to be looking for a life change. With time I believe it will come as you progress towards it one day at a time. But always seek others advice, as other perspectives are really eye opening sometimes and very fruitful. And always remember how far you have come, how easy it would be to quit now, but how much harder it is to actually continue. Reap the benefits of the future, reflect on the pass after this is over, share your story on how you overcome a seemingly endless road. Then remember to smile, for a smile, whether it be yours or others, and if genuine, will always brings happiness. God Bless you and be with you.

  • spoonfork's picture

    OP - Kudos to you for taking the initiative to honestly evaluate your situation. Honest self-assessment is a really fucking hard thing to do and quite a few people are unwilling or unable to do it. Good luck at your doctor's appointment. Keep in mind that they will have heard stories and seen people in far worse states than you. They are there to help you, not judge you. If you go in and see a general practice doctor (which you probably will for "general fatigue") he will probably recommend you see a mental health specialist. While a GP doctor will have some idea and training on how to deal with mental health issues, it won't be his specialty. Don't be discouraged if your initial visit doesn't seem all that worthwhile. If he refers you to someone else... go! Psychologists and psychiatrists have 4+ additional years of training dealing specifically with mental health. Don't worry too much about psychologist vs. psychiatrist. Psychologists can't subscribe meds, but they can easily refer you to a psychiatrist who can if it seems prudent.

    In the mean time, try to be cognizant of the fact your mental state right now is temporary. When in a depressive mood it is hard to remember that. Everyone has ups and downs, and right now you've been down for awhile. You can and will feel better in the future.

    Keep your head up. Do you have Netflix? Check out the documentary "Happiness."

    Good luck to you.

  • shaorio's picture

    Go to an AA meeting... now, not later not tomorrow, right now and tell them you need a sponsor. Look it up on the internet. There is ALWAYS a meeting somewhere in Manhattan.
    If you're employer is large enough, they are REQUIRED to offer you an opportunity at a rehab facility. There are many good ones available. Many people try to convince themselves that they are too important, and have too much going on to take 28 days to seek treatment. That is DENIAL at work.
    This is a hallmark of addiction and other possible diseases "my inability to actually connect with other human beings."
    Get rid of the gun for now, give it to a friend, sell it, lock it up at a gun club, something....

  • shaorio's picture

    Callus' comment was pretty crude but he does have a point... there is a quote from shawshank redemption that i always go back to... "Get busy livin, or get busy dyin"

  • shaorio's picture

    Callus' comment was pretty crude but he does have a point... there is a quote from shawshank redemption that i always go back to... "Get busy livin, or get busy dyin"

  • In reply to Going Concern
    shaorio's picture

    Going Concern wrote:
    Powa23 wrote:
    Just stop the drinking and think of how fortunate you are right now. You have a great job with good pay Ina good part of the world. A lot of people on this earth are born into poverty with no possibility of making ends meet or ever having the opportunities you have. Don't destroy your life quit the booze.

    While likely well intentioned, I disagree with this post. Hapiness is largely internal and your external environment plays only a small role. Above a basic level of subsistence, your hapiness is largely independent of your physical surroundings, level of wealth, etc. I am positive that there are plenty of people in third world villages that are far happier mentally than a decent chunk of the elite finance professionals in manhattan. Also, it is so easy to tell another to quit something flat than it is to actually do it. Addiction is a very difficult thing to conquer with the snap of a finger, especially when it is used as a coping mechanism.

    OP, I would suggest to moderate the drinking as best as possible, but not try to quit completely right away. Maybe make some sort of "schedule" that gradually reduces the amount of alcohol intake, and use rewards and punishments to enforce it (which don't involve alcohol). Perhaps get someone you trust to make sure you're following it. And like others have said, throw away any firearms immediately.

    This is very astute advice. I think it is necessary that you quit but you have to be very careful. Alcohol withdrawal is the only substance withdrawal that CAN KILL YOU. Opiate withdrawal, while extremely painful, is not deadly. Alcohol withdrawal can result in seizures and death. Either ween yourself off over 2-3 days, or have professional help where they will give you drugs, probably benzodiazipines that will get your body through the danger zone.

  • In reply to DonVon
    Culcet's picture

    DonVon wrote:
    I closed my Facebook account for about 3 months during recruitment. Despite the stress associated with absolutely having to convert my interviews, it was an extremely positive three months -- ones that were not spent refreshing my News Feed or swiping the Facebook app on my phone.

    When I bit the bullet and went back to the 'Book, the comparisons and anxieties started right on schedule. Facebook really is a pretty destructive e-peen showcase, and I think a lot of people -- myself included -- would benefit in MANY ways from closing their accounts. Tough to do, but probably worth it.

    The problem is "reactivating" your account is just as easy as signing back on. Facebook isn't stupid.

    But I agree, Facebook has probably caused more harm than good. I've done a bunch of things including changing my name, profile picture, etc. Still isn't the same though. I would honestly pay a small sum to simply never see the mini-feed ever again.

  • In reply to Culcet
    greengohome's picture

    Culcet wrote:

    The problem is "reactivating" your account is just as easy as signing back on. Facebook isn't stupid.

    But I agree, Facebook has probably caused more harm than good. I've done a bunch of things including changing my name, profile picture, etc. Still isn't the same though. I would honestly pay a small sum to simply never see the mini-feed ever again.

    My New Years res: cut that Facebook shit out. Total waste of my time, somebody already said it, but it's a highlight reel, nobody's life is that great, etc etc.

    Drinking is a weird thing, in that nobody will admit that it gives as much as it takes away. For most people, drinking in moderation has some social benefits that outweigh the costs. For some people, that equation flips and drinking starts taking away more than it's giving out. For me, I think drinking has "jumped the shark" so to speak - less has become more. It's hard to balance things out, I feel the OP on this one, and Eddie's comments on drinking over time have become more and more relevant.

  • IAM_Caesar's picture

    OP sent you a message. Good luck!

    “It's not personal, it's business.”

  • In reply to greengohome
    Culcet's picture

    greengohome wrote:
    Culcet wrote:

    The problem is "reactivating" your account is just as easy as signing back on. Facebook isn't stupid.

    But I agree, Facebook has probably caused more harm than good. I've done a bunch of things including changing my name, profile picture, etc. Still isn't the same though. I would honestly pay a small sum to simply never see the mini-feed ever again.

    My New Years res: cut that Facebook shit out. Total waste of my time, somebody already said it, but it's a highlight reel, nobody's life is that great, etc etc.

    Drinking is a weird thing, in that nobody will admit that it gives as much as it takes away. For most people, drinking in moderation has some social benefits that outweigh the costs. For some people, that equation flips and drinking starts taking away more than it's giving out. For me, I think drinking has "jumped the shark" so to speak - less has become more. It's hard to balance things out, I feel the OP on this one, and Eddie's comments on drinking over time have become more and more relevant.

    Word. I remember one of my friend's mentors gave his thoughts on Facebook. "Would you rather be surfing Facebook... or building an empire?"

  • SureThing's picture

    Ok I read most of the first page. A few things I would like to say:

    1. Who is the dick head who is throwing monkey shit at all of OP's posts for no apparent reason? It is kind of funny.

    2. You don't keep your gun loaded?

    3. If you get rid of your gun, can I have the ammo? It is hard to come by right now. .40 s&w.

    On a serious note, the drinking will destroy you. Alcoholism runs in both sides of my family, and I've begun to see the signs in myself. Hopefully I'm not fucked. I am in the process of accepting that it is a real problem. In fact, alcohol has been the main cause of all of the hurdles I have had to overcome in life.

    Focus on a couple things; kick the booze, keep grinding at work. If you keep your comfy income you can focus on your inner person issues. It may be horrible, but deal with it.

    You won't be at your current position forever, and staying there will ultimately give you options. Options = freedom. Freedom to do your laundry.

    When a plumber from Hoboken tells you he has a good feeling about a reverse iron condor spread on the Japanese Yen, you really have no choice. If you don’t do it to him, somebody else surely will. -Eddie B.

  • hmjjbe's picture

    unhappiness is the difference between what you have and what you want. Stop wanting.

    Also, listen to this Link. It may help,
    (note: you have to change the "***" to "org" because WSO won't let me post links)....

    media.bswa.***/mp3/Brahmavamso_2012_05_18.mp3

    There are tons of other great talks as well...
    www.dhammaloka.***.au/downloads/itemlist/category/.... html

  • Epicurus7's picture

    I feel you...A lot of people go through this. I can relate to a lot of the things you are saying. You have to realize that you're the only one who push yourself out of this--and when you do, you will be 100x stronger and more equipped to face the challenges of life.

    What's meaningful in life anyways? How do you know that it's not just your life that feels meaningless or that life is just meaningless in general? We all eat, shit, and die. So, who the fuck cares if you have a fancy motorcycle or can throw down g's on bottles?! The thrill of all that stuff fades so fast and leaves you feeling emptier than ever. The point is to just do whatever makes you truly happy, because at the end of the day, the only person who cares about what you do is yourself. That being said, if you're not happy with your job, then figure out something else. Take charge of your life and find a way to control your impulses. Cut out the toxic people and treat your true friends like family. Stop spending your money on "stuff", stop drinking, pay off your debts. Earn respect for yourself, and others will begin respecting you. The woman you want will be able to pick up on this stuff without even knowing too much about it. I know it's easier said than done, but if you've gotten far enough to ask for help on WSO, I'm sure you want to find a solution to your problems. I say all of this from experience, and I have faith in you...so do all the others who have commented on your post.

    Oh yeah, and when I feel like shit I always refer to the Four Noble Truths:
    1. Life means suffering.

    2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

    3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

    4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

  • monito's picture

    See a therapist. If you don't want to get drugged up, that's the best way to both deal with your issues and avoid taking drugs. You have at least admitted to some of your problems. Now let someone else, who has no weird incentives unlike your friends, help you out.

    Go for a run when you can't sleep. It'll help you relax, get in better shape, and focus your thoughts.

    The booze may not be the underlying problem, but it sure can't be helping. It's only masking the real issues. I'm not saying you should stop drinking. I am saying that you should start looking for the things that worsen your outlook and cut those off your life. F them. Don't let them screw you.

    Best of luck.

  • In reply to Febreeze
    huanleshalemei's picture

    Febreeze wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:

    P.S. have you talked with any counselor before? The probability of meeting a good-looking girl with tremendous amount of compassion is actually VERY HIGH. Good luck.

    Jesus fuckin Christ. I don't even know where to begin with this.

    Just wanted to urge OP to seek help from professionals (not only counselor), and it seemed to work.

    This statement might be true at my school where I was a volunteer counselor for one semester but I don't know elsewhere and I certainly don't want OP to create any false expectation (and others, don't misinterpret).

    The Auto Show

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  • In reply to Culcet
    Bateman Begins's picture

    Read my blog: Bateman Begins

  • In reply to assetmanager7
    DonVon's picture

    "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower
    Check out my blog!

  • In reply to assetmanager7
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    adapt or die wrote:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • EtherBinge's picture
  • In reply to ScoobyDoobie
    BlackHat's picture

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

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