I'm not a pretty woman -how to get a boyfriend and a job if i'm not pretty.
I don't consider myself to be pretty (maybe cute at my best)- i have a wide nose and I'm Asian (which puts me at a disadvantage in this white-obsessed society). I've never had a boyfriend my entire life (I'm 25 now), and I get very anxious in social situations. Undoubtedly, my lack of self confidence in the looks dept. has cost me countless interviews- I have been rejected to every interview for internship opportunities accounting related.
How can i start building up my confidence and how much of a disadvantage do average looking/mousy looking girls have in terms of searching for internship/full time job opportunities in accounting related field?
- depressed and unattractive 25 yr old girl.
What is your GPA?
3.8/4.0 right now
It seems to me that being an Asian female is highly sought after in the dating pool. So, not really sure that you have a good grasp on reality.
If you're actually "cute", I don't know what the issue is, but it's probably your personality. Do you ever get out of the house to socialize? Or, do you just stay in and watch tv/read?
Tell you what, go get a Brazilian wax and come to New York. I'll buy you a nice dinner and then fuck you just to take the pressure off (I like to give back to WSO). Then you will have the confidence to go find another guy in your age range.
im a homebody...that's what white men say, but I don't think it's the truth
How often do you go out drinking, dancing, partying, or whatever?
(PS -- I think you glossed over the important part of my previous post)
OP, have you PM'd DickFuld yet to schedule dinner in NYC?
I know this is an old thread, but I just want to say that you're my favorite active WSO poster
lol @"DickFuld" Jump on that grenade.
I'd recommend developing good cheek and lip muscles and just blow every guy you can. And get implants, really large ones. At a point for some guys it doesn't matter what anything else looks like if you've got huge cans and can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
LMAO
How would you rate your physique? I suggest hitting the gym and sticking to a good weight lifting routine. I'm suggesting this because this worked for me. It increased my confidence and improved my physique. It's a good way to exercise discipline. Long term benefits also include an improved jaw/neck line which is generally a good aesthetic trait in both men and women.
i really dunno i'm about 5'6 125 ish lbs, i don't think my body is toned, not fat, though, and i really prefer not to lift weights because I don't want to look manly and bulky, i do hate my roundish face, though
That's a very common misconception. You will never look manly unless you take testosterone hormones while exclusively doing upper body workouts. On the other hand, doing a lot of squats will give you that bubble butt that will compensate for your lack of facial aesthetics.
I suppose I deserved that MS but you do realize that you're posting on a site about Wall Street jobs that's largely populated by
You should be social and get out more. I think you're being too self critical.
There is no love around these parts, well except from Dick Fuld's old balls, but really you need to go to a professional. Since you asked here, I'll chime in with some constructive thoughts (unrelated to blow job skills).
This maybe obvious but just from personal encounters I've seen that many socially awkward people don't understand that in order to make friends they need to have common interests with others. You should find a hobby that you like that puts you in a group environment. For example, like yoga, painting, camping, Pilates, et cetera. I've also heard that Toast Masters or improv classes can help with social anxiety as well.
reading your post and replies are just plain depressing. You need to build some confidence or else everyone is just going to take advantage of you throughout your life. Being an asian woman does not rule you out of any relationship... I know quite a few white guys with yellow fever.
During interviews its really about social skills and fit. Accounting is a team related job and no one really wants to have an awkward person on the team. Lifting really helped me gain confidence as some people have suggested. Also post your resume for review on the forum and maybe that could help you.
Complaining about looks keeping you down is a pretty pathetic excuse IMO. There are plenty of average looking people having successful careers. The person interviewing you for a job isn't interviewing you on your attractiveness but with that said if you don't keep good personal hygiene then you are just shooting yourself in the foot.
Horrendous advice on this board, don't listen to them. You should build a fort in your living room and start hiding things.
definitely start doing squats
running in the morning, etc.
i would be so depressed if i were in your skin so get that gym shorts, put some hoody, get an ipod and run around the fucking block
physical activity always works. if nothing, it is a great first step. and while everything might be standing still for you your body will be grateful, you will look better, be healthier, etc. and that alone will bring bunch of benefits on other fronts
good luck
p.s. first run around the block in sweaty t-shirt - i bet there will be at least dozen of guys taking off your clothes with their eyes ;)
What a thread lol. If you're really 25, not fat, and have a pulse, there is no way you can't find a boyfriend if you try. Force yourself into various social situations to put yourself out there, and drink plenty of alcohol to deal with any anxiety.
Also make sure to always wear sleeveless low cut tops and short skirts...nobody will be looking at your nose.
Stop setting these unattainable standards for women, please ! A pulse is not a necessity !
I was going to reply with "tough, but fair"...but I decided against it to keep the discussion wholesome.
First of all, it suprises me that no one has pointed out her insistence on WHITE people. Just because you have Asian traces doesn't mean "we" whites, or non-whites are going to eliminate you from the Earth only because you are not Hyuna. You make your own limits and forget about races and that stuff. Drop your guards, get some make up, party and talk. I highlight TALK. No awesome guy will come wrapped into a box and delivered to your door... and I doubt you'll meet someone while you walk because with your shyness, you won't even pay attention to him. Try and if you fail, try again... we all have been rejected at some point in our lifes. So what?
Pay some attention to the comments above. They could have made fun of your post, however I think that they have given to you the best advices. Special mention to Mr. DickFuld
@"jkim89" very common misconception. skinny girls look good with clothes, fit girls look good naked. weightlifting is not all powerlifting, and lean muscle is very attractive, not to mention the residual benefits you get from regular exercise (endorphins, your skin looks better, your confidence goes up, and you sleep better). my girlfriend has done programs like Tone It Up (toneitup.com), Brazil Butt Lift (google this), and kickboxing (there's probably a 30 minute class at a local gym), and she's not bulky at all, I'd try those. is she defined? yes, but not like those gross crossfit girls who have veins like Hulk Hogan.
here's my advice, exercise regularly, make sure you're eating healthy: aside from the health benefits, if you eat poorly you smell bad (used to know a guy who ate fast food once a day and smelled like absolute shit unless he'd just showered, thank God he changed his diet). make sure your clothes fit: this is terribly important once you're in good shape, and there is a balance between sexy and tailored, make sure your clothes are tailored and professional, but not revealing (in my opinion, class is more appealing than trash). also make sure you're out there socializing, get involved in an organization/club (be it charitable or professional), and start going out to happy hours. if you're a mid 20s woman in good shape and by yourself, men will talk to you, trust me, I've seen me do it (when I was single, I'm a one-woman man now).
on another note, I have a buddy at a BB in NYC who loves Asians, get on Tinder, you might find him.
Instead of pointing out your feature you find unappealing, make a note to look in the mirror everyday and give yourself a compliment. Over time it will help build your confidence, and confidence is extremely sexy in a woman.
Also, make a point to strike up a conversation with at least one stranger every day. Male, female, young, old.. it doesn't matter. Grocery store, park, on your way to work, anywhere! Just get in the habit of talking to people, and you'll find that you're a lot more comfortable when it comes to flirting/dating. And no need to hit up clubs and bars every night if that's not your thing. I find bars to be an annoying place to meet women (in your case men) anyway. Too loud, often to dark... just not conducive to getting to know people. Instead, start volunteering once a week/month. Great way to get out and meet some people.
As others have mentioned, working out (weight-lifting included) and eating right will do wonders for your self esteem. And you don't have the hormones to make you bulky from lifting weights; it'll just tone you up and make you feel good.
And for the record, Jewish guys love Asian women.. so jdate, perhaps?
agreed. to make myself clear, I'm not suggesting clubbing as a way to meet guys for a relationship, most guys that go clubbing are looking for a one nighter or their girlfriend is out of town so it's guys night out and they're just trying to get drunk. happy hours/networking events/meetups (http://www.meetup.com/) will be better for this, but I think the underlying problem is you need to love yourself first. it's my belief you cannot extend love until you have loved #1.
How does one go about loving #1?
I don't know how this turned into a thread about lifting.
@"jkim89" Your main goal should be to get out of your home and start pushing your boundaries by talking to strangers.
Dick, do you even lift?
In all seriousness I do get carried away with fitness sometimes, I'm just a big believer that exercise helps many areas of life
I agree Dick. I'd like to get back to the days when Marlboro's, whiskey and t-bones were the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
I remember my first car, back when owning a car was fun. I feel sorry for whoever has it now, you can probably still smell the cigarettes and shame.
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