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When to use last name and first name in an email?

Here is an example:

To someone who graduated from my school say 2 or 3 years ago. I sent him an email inquiring about an internship using the formal Mr. Smith. In his reply he was very friendly and signed as John. (say it's John Smith) I began my response with Dear John, but now that I think about I probably should have continued to use Mr. Smith.

So my question:
1. Should I have continued to use Mr. Smith?
2. When is it appropriate to write an email using first name?
3. John Smith was 2 years older, but should I use last name with someone who is the same age?

Thanks!

Comments (17)

  • LIBOR's picture

    My dad works in the business (I'm still trying to break in). Anyway, I told him I sent an email Dear Mr. So and So and he just laughed at me. He told me to just go first name. I spoke with a consultant from IB Interview ready and she said the same thing. Thus:

    John,

    I want to work in this business. Help me please.

    Joe

  • Djalminha's picture

    Always first names, no one likes being addressed like they are a history professor. Be aware though that many senior staff will reply in borderline txt-spk, however you should still remain relatively formal ("Best regards", "please find attached" etc etc).

    I often receive external emails beginning "Dear X" or even occasionally "Mr Y", it definitely doesn't create a good impression.

  • FIASCO's picture

    I've heard such conflicting advice on whether or not to use first names or Mr. ..... I guess I shouldn't be listening to my school's career services, they say never use first names. Good topic.

  • DontMakeMeShortYou's picture

    A friend of mine got reamed for using "Hey" as a greeting. That's one thing I'll tell you to avoid, especially with more senior people (for some/maybe even most it's fine, but others won't respond favorably) Apart from that, first-name basis is fine. The rule in more formal settings is that you use "Mr. X" until they sign just their first name. In your situation, after he finished his e-mail with "John" it was fine for you to address him as "John." However, going forward, just use first-name basis for all e-mails.

  • Gekko21's picture

    Always use Mr.XXX for the first email and then first name afterwards

    "Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

  • In reply to FIASCO
    Slacker23's picture

    FIASCO wrote:
    I've heard such conflicting advice on whether or not to use first names or Mr. ..... I guess I shouldn't be listening to my school's career services, they say never use first names. Good topic.

    I think it's important to point out that you should only take advice from people you want to emulate. School career services is made up of people who weren't able to get real jobs, so they just advise other people how to get jobs.

    "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach"

  • knabi's picture

    wow, I did NOT realize the formal Mr./Ms. would put bankers off... it's suppose to be a sign of respect. First name? That sounds kind of rude addressing a banker in a high status(but I guess I'm inexperienced), especially coming from someone still in college.

  • Puzich's picture

    Always Mr your first time. Then, depending on their response, use first or last name. For example, if they are really friendly in their response, then you can start addressing them as John etc. If they reply smth along the lines of "Dear X, thank you for your message etc." rather than "Hi X, ..." then continue with Mr.

  • In reply to Puzich
    pruf's picture

    Puzich wrote:
    Always Mr your first time. Then, depending on their response, use first or last name. For example, if they are really friendly in their response, then you can start addressing them as John etc. If they reply smth along the lines of "Dear X, thank you for your message etc." rather than "Hi X, ..." then continue with Mr.

    this

    also, kinda off topic, but make sure you find out if it's a male or female if you're, say, cold calling HR and they forward you some contact's phone number or email. you never know!