Interview Questions: Tell Me A Joke...
I recently went for a finance interview at a smaller shop. The interviewer asked me to tell him a joke. I blanked.
I ended up saying:
"A man walks into library and approaches the librarian. The librarian smiles and asks "how can I help you today?"
The man says "Can I get a tunafish sandwich on white?"
Bewildered the librarian says "Sir this is library...".
the man replies (In a Whisper). "Sorry (this where I almost died in the interview of nervousness) can I get a tunafish sandwich on white?"
I got a weak smile from the two guys.
Any good jokes that can be used in these types of situations?





What was the best part of the
What was the best part of the Playboy Enterprises IPO?
... The pitch book.
Mama bear and papa bear are
Mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear, "who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear says, " I don't want to live with mama bear. She beats me"
Judge says, "Okay, so you want to live with papa bear?"
Baby bear says, "No, he beats me too!"
Judge (frustrated at this point), "Well then, who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They never beat anybody"
I'll get you started... Guy
I'll get you started...
Guy goes into the agent's office and he says,
"I've got an act for "you." Wait till you hear "this." "Tell me a little about "it." What's the act?"
He says, "My wife and I come out on "stage."
darwins monkey wrote: I'll
I'll get you started...
Guy goes into the agent's office and he says,
"I've got an act for "you." Wait till you hear "this." "Tell me a little about "it." What's the act?"
He says, "My wife and I come out on "stage."
I don't get it. Also learn how to use quotations.
CaliBankerSF wrote: Mama bear
Mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear, "who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear says, " I don't want to live with mama bear. She beats me"
Judge says, "Okay, so you want to live with papa bear?"
Baby bear says, "No, he beats me too!"
Judge (frustrated at this point), "Well then, who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They never beat anybody"
lol
darwins monkey wrote: I'll
I'll get you started...
Guy goes into the agent's office and he says,
"I've got an act for "you." Wait till you hear "this." "Tell me a little about "it." What's the act?"
He says, "My wife and I come out on "stage."
Agent says "what do you call yourselves."
Guy says "the aristocrats"
http://www.wallstreetoasis.co
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/interview-qu...
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/the-tell-me-...
You could always repeat what David Del Rocco says in Boondock Saints when the mob boss tells him to tell a joke. Not going to repeat it on here though, look it up if you don't know.
Mama bear and papa bear are
Mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. The judge asks baby bear, "who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear says, " I don't want to live with mama bear. She beats me"
Judge says, "Okay, so you want to live with papa bear?"
Baby bear says, "No, he beats me too!"
Judge (frustrated at this point), "Well then, who do you want to live with?"
Baby bear, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears! They never beat anybody"
lol
A couple who have been
A couple who have been married for a while are in their bedroom. The wife looks in the mirror, sighs, and says, "I feel fat and ugly...give me a compliment". The husband looks her up and down and says, "You've got perfect vision."
It is near the Christmas
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer anything she throws at me."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”
^ haha.. that was a good one.
^ haha.. that was a good one.
geniusisnteasy wrote: It is
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer anything she throws at me."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”
haha.. little johnny is awesome
Not sure if you'll be able to
Not sure if you'll be able to use this one for an interview (I'd recommend against it):
A teacher, lawyer, and priest are in a burning school auditorium. The teacher says, " We need to save the children before the auditorium collapses". The lawyer responds, "Screw the children." The priest looks at the lawyer and asks, "Do we have the time?".
banker you're uncouth primate
banker you're uncouth primate - The Aristocrats...?
I apologize for the awful use of quotations; I copy and pasted from a website, didn't feel like typing it out
darwins monkey wrote: banker
banker you're uncouth primate - The Aristocrats...?
I apologize for the awful use of quotations; I copy and pasted from a website, didn't feel like typing it out
Oh yeah lol. It's been a while, plus I didn't find that film funny. But nice reference lol.
I was at a pub outside Dublin
guestofaguest wrote: I was at
A buddy of mine sent this to
Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard.
-30 Rock
A pirate walks into a bar
hahahaah jhoratio wins and
jhoratio wrote: A pirate
I've tried the first
why did the chicken cross the
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"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
^ not funny
Q. What happens when you eat
dagro wrote: why did the
FREAKING GREAT!
Professional Bro,
J. Cans
who let the wet towels in?
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"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
for those of you who didn't
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"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
I love Mitch Hedberg; I think
So a baby seal walks into a
Better hope that you never
Bankalot, what crawled up
Two jokes (a bit dirty) (not
Also (kinda gross) : A
An Irishman walks out of a
SirBankalot wrote: Better
- Child Please.
A panda is out one night, and
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"I just want to be a monkey of average intelligence who wears a suit. I'll go to business school!"
This works at any BB (stolen
A greek, italian and spaniard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Mitch hedberg is a fucking
Any one of these. 5 Minute
^ These are priceless.
Often a question like "tell
Author of Polished and former CEO of the Boston Options Exchange, Managing Director at Goldman Sachs, and campus recruiter.
www.PolishedU.com, www.GetHiredBlog.blogspot.com
R. Scott Morris wrote: Often
how many of these are
NGH09 wrote: how many of
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
- Ronald Reagan
if it was a nyc job, (im
I really enjoyed reading all
Examples of Interview Questions