Jedi looking to Lateral into IBanking
mod note (Andy): this was originally posted on 6/20/2011 and was voted one of the top threads of 2011
I’m a jedi knight looking to break into investment banking. I went through the jedi academy (it was kind of one of those things where they recruited me when I was really young and wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do) but anyways long story short I am a Jedi knight now and I’m not really going anywhere. Everyone said that it goes Padawan --> Knight --> Master but its fucking impossible to become a master now. I was always interested in finance while I was in the academy and I know that I ultimately wish to enter Ibanking.
Now I know like all non-traditional job seekers everyone is going to start bombarding me with questions. Do you know what finance is about let alone I-Banking? Can you work 100 hours a week? WTF a jedi knight?
My reasons for going into finance are personal, but because I know that no one will answer my question unless I give my motives here it is.
1. Exit ops to the dark side aren’t that good. Back in the day there were tons of positions in the dark side but now the rule is one Sith lord and one apprentice.
2. The Jedi Council is fucking impossible to get into
3. I know money doesn’t matter but being a Jedi has gotten really bad. I know I won’t necessarily be at a hedge fund making 500K in a year but as long as I can own a car and live in a respectable place I will be happy.
4. I really don’t like the whole not having sex thing. I know Anakin did it but he was able to lateral to the dark side. As I said before I really don’t have that kind of exit op so if I get fired Im screwed.
5. I know everyone says Jedis have the best job security but I sense a disturbance in the force that tells me that’s about to change very soon…
Few stats:
I studied at non-target Jedi Academy, my midi-chlorian count is 900 (I know that’s low but I plan to retest), I was the head of my academy’s book club
Just a few questions:
1. Do I have a shot of getting into I-Banking straight from the academy or should I enter some other finance field and lateral after a few years of exp?
2. Should I stay in the academy an extra year so I can do an internship somewhere?
3. I currently have an offer for an unpaid internship at a top boutique IB but I currently only have 7,000 republic dataries will that be enough to live in NY for the summer?
4. If I get into a top MBA program can I be hired as an associate?
P.S. to all of you who are going to state the obvious (transfer to a target) I tried contacting the jedi temple on Coruscant but no one picked up.






someone got baked as fuck...
someone got baked as fuck...
JKnight wrote: 4. I really
4. I really don’t like the whole not having sex thing. I know Anakin did it but he was able to lateral to the dark side. As I said before I really don’t have that kind of exit op so if I get fired Im screwed.
Don't you mean the other way around - if you start screwing, you will get fired?
More is good, all is better
After having just watched
After having just watched Empire Strikes Back on Spike this made me LOL hard
People tend to think life is a race with other people. They don't realize that every moment they spend sprinting towards the finish line is a moment they lose permanently, and a moment closer to their death.
This is hilarious
This is hilarious
(The people LOLing hard are
(The people LOLing hard are also baked as fuck)
More is good, all is better
I don't think that you'd be a
I don't think that you'd be a good fit for IBD. Your post formatting is awful, and you've failed to capitalize "Jedi" on multiple occasions.
How sharp are your mind-reading skills? If you can keep tabs on Bernanke, you'd make a killing in S&T. You should go talk to that BB rates trader guy.
Can you use the Jedi mind
Can you use the Jedi mind trick on your interviewer?
Seriously people...
Haha, very good
Haha, very good
go bobba fett status bounty
go bobba fett status
bounty hunters are all the rage in the galaxy nowadays
Where I unload on Twits and take verbal S***s
Excellent work.
Excellent work.
hahaha as a semi-geek (okay,
hahaha as a semi-geek (okay, total geek), I loved this.
Liar's Poker has REALLY affected how I view the word "geek".
Patrick Bateman would eat Eddie Morra's lunch (and probably his brains).
Kudos sir.
Kudos sir.
Valor is of no service, chance rules all, and the bravest often fall by the hands of cowards. - Tacitus
Dr. Nick Riviera: Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!
This was pretty solid work
This was pretty solid work
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
what an awesome post
what an awesome post
Geeks rule the world. Geeks
Geeks rule the world. Geeks >>>>>> Jocks
WSOCON 2013 - B Scene
I don't know if there is much
Full Time:
First Round - 0
Second Round - 0
Final Round - 1
Offers: 0
Pure Fucking Gold... Nice
You're barely galactic rim
Patrick Bateman would eat Eddie Morra's lunch (and probably his brains).
A+, thanks
"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
posting in epic thread; +1
I can understand your desire
USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION
Argonaut mad cuz he didn't
People tend to think life is a race with other people. They don't realize that every moment they spend sprinting towards the finish line is a moment they lose permanently, and a moment closer to their death.
toasting in epic bread
JKnight wrote: P.S. to all of
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
rickyross wrote: Argonaut mad
More is good, all is better
So I've been going through
A gungan jedi...let me guess
JKnight wrote: P.S. to all of
=========================================
"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Well, even lightsaber cant
Oil & Gas monkey
Star Wars nerds start in IT.
Work hard, play hard.
IlliniProgrammer wrote: Star
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
i know of an old ass jedi who
dayaaam wrote: How fast did
Jabba runs a global macro
Looking for a Finance Job - currently unemployed.
You're all a bunch of fucking
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
hedgefund13 wrote: Jabba runs
"Climbing a mountain that's only getting steeper"
-Barboon
hedgefund13 wrote: Jabba runs
"Climbing a mountain that's only getting steeper"
-Barboon
Edmundo Braverman
"WSO is like the 300 for anti spamage. None shall pass." -happypantsmcgee
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
Served.
Full Time:
First Round - 0
Second Round - 0
Final Round - 1
Offers: 0
D M wrote: Edmundo Braverman
You should have no trouble
This is the gold standard for
Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol
lol... good stuff
If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.
"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
Fucking hilarious. Nice work.
Still I Rise
dwight schrute wrote: This is
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
Um I was pretty busy at work
"Until and unless you discover that money is the root of all good, you ask for your own destruction. When money ceases to become the means by which men deal with one another, then men become the tools of other men. Blood, whips and guns or dollars."
How regulated are the bounty
I think a good option would
A++ would read again